The Rising (final book to The Call series)
by LetsAimPastTheSky1
Summary: A loss of family. A loss of love. A loss of direction & a lot of one's own mind. But because of what hasn't been lost, it goes on.
1. After the Earthquake

When I was eight years old, I broke my mother's favorite glass plate. She'd gotten it on a trip to Paris when she was in the 8th grade. It was round and thick and a beautiful blue color that shimmered in the sun. I used to choose that plate to eat with whenever we had barbeques outside just to watch it glisten in the sunlight. I sometimes called it 'Beautiful Blue'.

One summer day, I was eating with it in the summertime heat, when it crashed to the ground, shattering into a million pieces. I remember feeling suddenly frightened and I felt even more worried when four year old Benjamin stood there in the doorway with his hair uncombed and a Popsicle halfway into his mouth.

"Oh no, Benjy! I'm gonna be in so much trouble!" I'd worried, biting my knuckle and pacing back and forth. I'd seen people do it in movies whenever they did something bad, and they were afraid of getting in trouble.

"Mommy won't be mad," Benj had insisted, taking a bite of his Popsicle. "And if she is, I can help you hide." So that was what the two of us did. We packed all of my favorite clothes and toys and I hid in the garden shed. Benj stayed outside to guard it and make sure that Mom didn't find me and get me in trouble. Once or twice I remember hearing Benj say to Mom, "I don't know; I haven't seen her. Maybe you should go buy a dinner plate because we're running out."

Eventually, Mom got suspicious and found me. I began crying and Benj stood in front of me shouting, "Mommy, you can't be mad at Lexi because she's my sister and I don't want you to be mad at her!" Mom ended up laughing a bit (hiding her initial disappointment that I'd broken her favorite plate) and insisted that she wasn't mad.

That day, I learned two things: one; that running away from your problems works for a while, but not forever. And two; that I had one of the best little brothers out there. Both revelations don't help me today because I don't have a brother anymore; and I want to challenge that first theory. Maybe if I stay hidden in my room, speaking to nobody except for Rose, then it will all go away. Maybe the entire world around me will just disappear and I'll fade away.

Maybe I really can run away from my problems. I just have to be motivated to. Before, I never tried running away from them because I knew that something better was to come if I stayed positive. But I know now, with dangerous mutants targeting me and Benjamin gone, I don't have anything else to be motivated by. I can't make any difference in the world because the person that made all the difference to me is gone.

I won't say that he's dead. No, dead means gone forever. He isn't gone forever. He's just...absent. Yeah. He's absent, but he's not dead. I would never have let him be dead. And he would have never done that to me. He's just out, and he'll come back eventually. He always does. Always.

There's a knock at my door. I don't show any intention of getting up and answering it, because I'm not planning on doing so. In fact, I probably wouldn't have even been able to hear it if it weren't for the fact that the person behind the door opens it.

There stands a very cautious looking Leonardo. He's pretty much given up on trying to comfort me or be by my side. I don't want him here. He ripped me away when I could have saved my brother. He knows it's dangerous to be around me now. Every time he tries to start a conversation with me, it turns into an argument with me blaming him.

It's all his fault.

He mutters something under his breath as I stare at him.

"What?" My voice is sharp. He hesitantly looks up at me, but doesn't lock his eyes with mine. He focuses on my hair (which is a mess) or the bracelet on my wrist; anything but the eyes.

"Three days," he says quietly. "It's been three days. The mutants will be leaving in a few hours, and your mom will be able to come home." I don't answer; I just stare at him. His eyes finally shift to mine, and I look away frantically. I don't want to look into his eyes. I don't want to see what he's feeling, because I know that I'll be able to see his emotions. And I don't want to.

"Okay," I say bluntly, staring at the carpet. I'm unknowingly rubbing my palms with my thumbs again. I look down at my pain-struck hands, which have been rubbed raw by my nasty habit. Skin is peeled off and my hands are bright red and purple.

Leo sighs and my eyes shoot up at him. Now it's his turn to look away. He stares at the closet door and I can see him tense up. He's afraid of me. Leo knows that I can and will lash out any second now. And there's nothing he can do about that anymore.

"Um..." he starts.

"If you're going to speak, make sure you know what you're saying," I warn, and he blinks, pursing his mouth and continuing to keep his eyes glued to the floor. Minutes pass by and all that sits in this terrifying atmosphere is dead silence. You can't even hear anything outside of my room, even though the door is wide open.

He finally looks up at me; still avoiding my eyes.

"Then I guess I'd rather not speak."

"Then get out," I order, snatching my pillow, which I readily hold in case need of throwing at him to get out. He stares at me, but since I'm refusing to look into his eyes, I don't know what emotion he holds. Suddenly, he turns on his heel and shuts my door.

My grasp on the pillow doesn't release. In fact, I clutch it tighter. I bite my tongue and feel my fingernails digging into the material of the fabric, half expecting it to tear right through. But it doesn't. It can't because I suddenly—without warning myself—throw the pillow with all my might. It hits the cup of pencils on my desk, and the writing utensils then scatter all over the floor.

It feels good to throw something. So I do it again.

This time, it hits the homemade calendar that hangs up on the wall. It goes crashing to the floor, and there is a somehow lighter space where the calendar was on the wall, compared to the rest of the color.

I pick up another pillow and toss it anywhere I can. It hits the frame that I have sitting on my desk. Before I know it, I scrambled to the ground, catching it just in time, before it would have fallen and shattered all across the floor. When I hold the frame in my hands, it feels warm. Not temperature wise, but a warm in a way that feels foreign to me. It feels like a warm feeling that I know I've felt before, but it's been so long that it seems almost impossible that it was ever there.

The frame has our New Year January picture, just us kids. It was a tradition; to take a picture with just the kids sometime in January.

This particular picture was taken out in a rural part of Rhinebeck, right before we went to visit our cousins. Benj was in the middle, with his arms around Rose and I. Even though he was a good few years younger than us, he was still taller than Rose and almost taller than me.

Even though it's just a picture, just looking at my brother makes the pain travel throughout my body all over again. I blink rapidly when I suddenly feel an electric shock; like realization. I'm finally realizing that he's gone.

To be honest, the aftershock is way worse than the actual incident. During and after what happened, I could tell myself all I wanted that he's still here. I could sit here in my bedroom and just listen to music and pretend that I was crying for no reason. I could just sit in my room and act like Benj was sitting right outside, eating or sleeping or playing video games with Kylan. I didn't have to think that he was gone because I couldn't see him.

The aftershock is the worst. It's when you finally realize what has happened, and you have to decide that to keep yourself sane, you need to admit that they're gone. Not only gone; but Benj's body is lying outside the front door, collapsed into a heap of nothingness.

I've started crying without noticing it. I wouldn't have wiped away my tears if it weren't for the fact that I wanted to see the picture again. I shouldn't have wanted to, but I do. I want to remember how we used to be happy. Because most likely, it would only be a memory. I'll never be happy again.

Since the picture was taken half a year ago, my siblings look really different. Benj had gotten taller over the months and his hair had gotten lighter over the summer. Rose hadn't really gotten much taller, but she'd gotten a hair cut since then.

I look exactly the same, only completely different at the same time. My hair is curly, as usual, my clothes are clothes I still own now...but there's one big difference.

In the picture, I'm smiling.

And it isn't just any smile. At the time, I'd had an awesome life. I liked Leo, I had my family, and I was going to graduate that year. The smile was a smile of confidence and faith. I don't have that anymore.

I frown and find myself glaring at my past being. I'm staring at a Lexi that I don't know anymore. I could have denied ever knowing her, but this picture is solid proof. I had once been happy. It almost seems like a fairytale; a short (in my case, very long) story about a girl who used to be so happy, she could light up the room. And I feel that if I told myself enough, I'd begin to believe that it was nothing but a myth.

I rip my eyes away from the picture and set it back on my desk without looking at it again. My eyes travel to the empty space where the calendar used to be. The wall looks bare without it—like it's missing something important. It's something that resembles how I'm feeling. I'm missing someone right now, and it won't feel normal again unless that person is placed back into my life.

Or if I just get used to it. If you keep that common every-day object off the wall for a very long time, it won't feel unnatural anymore. Eventually, the nice clean space that the calendar protected will get dusty and become a bit more dull and used like the rest of the wall. It'll become a normal thing.

That scares me.

I don't want to get used to Benj being gone.

I put the calendar back on the wall, but it falls down a few more times before I can get it so that it stays. I then take a seat back on my bed and stay there. I don't know how long I stay there for; maybe an hour, maybe more, maybe less.

My door opens and in pops a purple-banded turtle.

"You called?"

"I did?"

"Yeah," he says slowly, nodding. "You did. Just a second ago." If it was Leo, I would have opened my mouth and began shouting at him for being a liar. I don't know why I'm so against Leo. Probably because he's my boyfriend and he was supposed to help me save my brother. Instead, he pulled me back and let him die.

I feel a pinch of guilt when I don't have anything to say, let alone remember calling him. So I think of something that I know I need to ask.

"Donnie; answer me one question. Just one." I pause and he nods. I swallow and blink back tears. "Is he really gone?" My voice is displayed as strained and firm, but I am still shaking. I know the answer, but I'm still afraid of it.

He doesn't answer me for a few seconds, but no longer.

"Physically, yes," he says quietly, and I am satisfied with the answer for some strange reason. He doesn't extend on his reasoning, which is a smart move for him to do. I don't want his technical side showing right now. This is a serious matter and I don't care about large vocabulary and evidence and reasoning.

"Explain." I still want to know what he means.

"I don't entirely know," he admits, pausing for a moment. "He's not here physically in the flesh, but you can still feel him here, you know? I'm sure if one of us were to go into his room or the kitchen or places where he was most likely to be found, we'd be able to feel his presence still. I don't know if it's because it smells like him or it feels like him..."

"Or if it's a spiritual thing," I finish. He doesn't respond. I haven't talked much religion with the turtles, even though my family and I have been strong Christians. I'm just really pained right now, going through what I'm going through. I don't have time. But here, in this moment, I realize that I need to make time.

"I think he's okay," I say softly, but then I shake my head. "I _know_ he's okay."

He smiles and squeezes my hand gently.

"Then remember that feeling. Don't forget it. Do you need anything else?"

"I need you to get Leo for me," I say swallowing. Don looks a bit taken aback at my request. The way I argue with Leo lately is no mystery to everyone else. In fact, they know that if I request Leo, they'll have to stay because they'll probably catch me choking him or something. "Please, Donnie. I need to talk to him."

The unevenness in my voice is what gets Donnie following through with my orders. He knows by my voice tone that my talk with Leo isn't going to be violent—but it isn't going to be a good talk.

After a few minutes, Leo enters back into my room. I sit as still as I can on my bed, staring at him. He looks cautious and scared. I bite the inside of my cheek.

"You don't have to stand ten feet away like I'm going to snap your neck." It's meant to sound comforting, but it turns out the completely opposite. My voice snaps and he refuses to look me in the eyes still.

"I can't be too sure you won't." For some reason, those words really hurt. I flinch back and feel my face redden. I don't know if it's from embarrassment that I made Leo afraid of me, or anger that he would make a sarcastic remark like that. Maybe it's a little of both.

"Leo." I pause and take another breath. "I've had days to think about the possibilities. We could have done so many things to save Benj; so many things. I have pages of possible ways we could have saved him. None of them could work now, since he's gone." Leo still doesn't look up at me, but his expression fills with something I can't understand.

"He was my brother. He was my baby brother and he's not here anymore because you didn't let me try."

"You could've been killed—"

"Let me finish!" I hadn't planned on raising my voice through this talk, and I'm not going to anymore. Then, he does what I don't expect him to do: he finally looks me in the eyes.

His brown eyes are filled with so many emotions. He's hurt and he's scared and he's guilty and he's angry. There are too many feelings for me to name and I can't help but start crying. Leo doesn't reach out to take me in his arms and hold me. He's learned not to do that because I'll just shove him away. But I miss being in his arms. I don't admit that though. I just cry for a few minutes.

The only thing that could make this situation worse was if he said something like, "Is this what you called me in here for? To watch you cry?" Thank goodness he doesn't say that. He'd never say something like that. He's too sensitive to my feelings. He knows that that would hurt me more than anyone could ever imagine.

"I think..." I croak, wiping my eyes. "I think...I need...to...to have some time. To myself. I want to take a break from...from us." There is a silence as I hold my breath to wait for his reaction. He doesn't move. "Leo—"

"It's fine," he says quietly. "You need time; you can have time. I won't bother you." For some reason, getting upset with me would have been better than this reaction. I know that he isn't fine with it and neither am I.

"Leo—"

"You need time to mourn over your brother. If you don't want a relationship with a mutant right now, then that's fine."

"That's not what I meant—"

"Then what did you mean?"

"I _meant_ that I can't be with someone that ruined all the chances of my brother staying alive." Silence.

"Are you saying this is my fault?"

"No! I mean...not entirely—"

He scoffs and looks away in disbelief.

"Not entirely," he mutters sarcastically. "Well what a relief; I thought that I had to take the entire fault for this situation!" I bite my lip and blink back more tears.

"We're done."

"With what? This conversation or our relationship?"

"Both!" I say, shaking my head and pointing towards the door. He doesn't look at me a moment longer before getting up and heading out with a slam of the door. I jump at the sudden sound and I begin crying again.

I don't have anyone anymore.

I know that Leo would have stood by me if I weren't so stubborn. Somewhere deep inside of me, I know that it isn't his fault. But I am in a condition where I want to be able to blame someone other than myself.

If I weren't so stubborn and angry with everyone, I'd have a lot of people by my side. I might be able to have Donnie by my side and Mallory by my side and maybe even Dad.

But I don't.

Nightfall comes, and the mutants leave. I don't come out of my room, even when I hear the worried voices of Mom and Mallory and Noah, rushing around in the front room. It's any moment now that someone is going to ask where Benj is. I can hear muffled talking and then a long silence.

And a broken sob.

Mom never cries. But she's crying now. And as much as I want to reach out and comfort her, I can't bring myself to leave my room. I can't look at Leo or the pained looks in my friends' faces. Or the sympathy. I can't stand the sympathy.

So instead of sitting on my bed and waiting for Mom to walk in and give me a hug so that we could cry together, I get under my blankets and pull the covers over my head. I'm absolutely exhausted; not having slept well in three days. But even through my exhaustion, I still can't fall asleep instantly.

The last thing I hear is the sound of my mother's voice suddenly next to my ear.

"I'm sorry, Alexandra..." she whispers, and I can feel her tears emotionally. "Oh my sweet girl; I'm so, so sorry." She kisses my forehead and I am alone again.

 **A/N:**

 **Okay, don't kill me. Please don't kill me. Yes, Lexi wants a break from Leo. Yes, they did break up. And yes; they still love each other so much. You can say that Lexi is being a brat and inconsiderate and she's just trying to think of someone to blame; and she is. But I want you guys to understand that she just lost her little brother. And not just her brother...but think about how close Benj and Lexi were.**

 **Their close bond was displayed all around, throughout the entire fanfiction, whether you saw it or not. They were best friends in so many ways; and Lexi feels like she let him down because of the many times that she promised to keep him safe. Now it has become her duty to love Rose like she loved Benj, which will be very hard.**

 **As always, thank you again for reading!**


	2. Denial

**Leo's POV:**

"But how is she?" Raph is never all that considerate about the feelings of others, but when it comes to Lexi, we all care. Some show it more than others.

"She's heartbroken." Silence. "Well, you wanted an honest answer."

I would have asked if she'd left her room. I would have asked if she speaks to anyone, and if so, who. I would have asked so many things; but I can't. I'm not part of the conversation. I'm listening from the hallway.

Ever since the break-up (I don't even know if I can call it that), things have been extremely distant with Lexi and I. She never calls me, never texts me, never asks to come see me. She wants absolutely nothing to do with me. And honestly, it's one of the worst feelings in the world to want to hold someone in your arms and tell them that it's okay, but have them repeatedly shove you away.

"She rarely leaves her room, and when she does, it's when she thinks that nobody is there. She never leaves the apartment. The only person she will talk to is Rosalie," Emmeline says softly, but there is a strain in her voice. I know that she must feel heartbroken that Lexi won't even talk to her own mother.

"Not even you?" Mikey's question is a mistake and I want to reach out and smack him. But I don't, because Emmeline laughs softly. It isn't a friendly laugh; it's a short, distant chuckle.

"I think that at this time, it's better that she strengthens her relationship with Rose. I had many years to show Lexi that I cared, and I failed." She sounds miserable, even though she's trying to mask it with humor.

"You didn't fail. You are a great mother to all of your kids," he insists. Emmeline doesn't answer.

"The funeral." I'm surprised when her voice doesn't break at the work, 'funeral.' "The funeral is tomorrow. It would be well appreciated if you could come. Benjamin really enjoyed being friends with you." I hear her standing up, getting ready to leave.

"We will be attending," Master Splinter decides, looking up at Emmeline. "Once again, I am terribly sorry. Benjamin was a great warrior and friend." Even though it's coming from Master Splinter, the compliment doesn't seem to make Emmeline any happier. She hurries out of the lair without another word. A few seconds later, I can hear faint sobs coming from the sewers.

"Leonardo." My father's voice scares me and I jump. "You may come out from the hallway now." I come out, rubbing the back of my neck sheepishly. Had he known that I was standing there in the hallway this entire time? Four sets of eyes are turned to me and I avoid all of them.

"How'ya takin' all this?" Raph asks, as I take a seat at the breakfast table. I wasn't planning on eating breakfast. I can barely do anything but sleep after the break-up and after losing Benj. I was never as close to Benj as, say, Mikey, but we were friends. We shared a room together at the Farm House. It's so strange to think that he's not at the apartment, making jokes and getting ready for football.

I've felt absolutely exhausted and I'm pretty sure that I don't look all my best. It would take me forever to look decent for the funeral tomorrow, even though most people won't even be able to see me due to my over-sized fedora and trench-coat, which is the disguise my brothers and I use.

It takes me a few moments and a few of my brothers' stares to remember that Raph had asked me a question. I just mumble. I don't mumble anything in particular; I just mumble. It's a mutter out of hope that if any sound leaves my mouth, they'll drop the matter. I should have known better.

"Look, I know that this break-up thing with Lexa's been hard with ya—" Raph begins.

"I don't care about the break-up!" I exclaim. I'm surprised at how honest and bitter I sound. My heart sinks as I rethink my words. I'm the biggest liar that I know. Of course I care about the break-up. It's more than just hard on me...and it's terrifying to know that I can reach out to her as much as I want and she won't reach back. She'll just pull away.

"Come on, Leo..." Raph starts again, but I cut him off once more.

"I don't care about it! It doesn't affect me!" The lies are sprouting from my mouth and I can't stop them. "She's being overdramatic anyway." Why am I being such a jerk? Is this the after-taste of a break-up? Because if it is, then I can see why we aren't exposed to relationships before.

Raph's face hardens. I just now realize that he's trying to help me. Raph. Trying to help _me_. He hasn't once raised his voice in his entire conversation, and that close to never happens. Before I can apologize, he responds.

"Now you're just bein' ridiculous. Of course you're affected by it; you love her!" I'm surprised that he hasn't raised his voice. I hold my breath for a few moments and then release it.

"I'm sorry..." I put my head in my hands. "I just...I'm overwhelmed. With Benj's death and Lexi being so obviously broken...and I can't do anything to comfort her because she doesn't want anything to do with me. I bet if she were hanging off a cliff, and I reached out my hand to help her up, she'd rather fall opposed to taking my hand. That's how much she hates me right now."

"You know that's not true, Leo..." Mikey says, shaking his head. "You heard Emmeline about the whole 'not talking thing'. Lexi won't even talk to her own mom. So try not to take it personally."

"You gotta think about how you would feel if one of us was killed," Raph says slowly, looking up at me.

"It was my fault."

"No it wasn't!"

"It was."

"Says who?"

"Lexi."

"Lexi is going through an amount of pain right now where she will try to find any reason to blame somebody so that she doesn't hate herself."

"But how does that make any sense?" I stress. "She's the most generous, thoughtful person I've ever met! Wouldn't that mean that she would want to take the blame?"

"Are you saying that you want her to blame herself?"

"No!" I groan and shove my face into my hands again. "No, no, of course not. I hate it when she blames herself. But...why blame me? I mean, she's explained it to me before, but it didn't make any sense."

"She is in a state of mind right now where the only thing she can think about is the fact that you and I pulled her back before she could get the chance to save Benj," Donnie explains and I unknowingly shoot a glare at him.

"But you were there too!" I pointed out. "You also pulled her back; so why is she only mad at me?" There is a long silence.

"Because she loves you," Donnie responds quietly. I would have stated bitterly that she loves all of us, but I know what he means. "She loves you and she trusted that even though it was impossible, you'd somehow be able to save her brother. We're portrayed as the super-heroes, Leo. That's one of the reasons why it's so risky to build bonds with humans. Just because we saved them once, they expect that every time they or someone they love is in danger, that we'll be able to save them. They think we're super-heroes, but we aren't." His explanation makes sense to me right now more than anything else I could think of.

"We fight crime; we've defeated the Shredder multiple times, even though he keeps returning. We've fought Kraang and Foot Ninjas and Purple Dragons and Dark Angels and all the crime you can think of. She expects that the one time someone that means the most to her is in danger you'll be able to save that person. And when you don't...she realizes what a disadvantage that is really is to know us. She has hope that if she knows guys like us, that she'll be safe; that her family will be safe." Donnie pauses and looks down at the floor. "She's just realizing how completely opposite it is."

None of us speak for a while after that. I think about his explanation.

It makes sense.

All our lives we've been constantly warned by Master Splinter not to expose ourselves to human life, let alone build strong bonds with them. He always tells us that it's because they aren't as accepting of us; and that's what we have always used as our excuse. We constantly tell ourselves and each other to stay out of trouble when we go topside. And as for the unavoidable relationships we build with people like April and Casey, we do have to make sure that they tell no one about us.

But Donnie's point takes my mind to an entire new perspective. We truly are afraid of attachments. We don't know everything about humans, but what we do know is that they jump to conclusions pretty quickly. It's kind of a built in thing, I guess you would say. They're each born with it, along with whatever other traits they also possess.

When they meet someone like us in an extraordinary way, such as watching us save them or someone else from crime, they immediately jump to the conclusion that we're the good guys and we'll always be there to save anyone in need. We are the good guys, they aren't wrong about that; but we can't save everyone.

I feel a lump in my throat when I remember all the people that died from the Epidemic. All the people we couldn't save...all because of an unknown person who thought that it was funny to watch others suffer. And I don't know if it's a pride thing (which happens to kind of be a 'built in' trait in my family at least), but it's humiliating to look and see that others are looking at you, as if they're expecting you to be able to save them; expecting you to do something that isn't in your control.

Then I think of her.

My stomach still does turns at the thought of her, and that makes me want to crawl up in a ball and cry.

Lexi was so compassionate with those people in the hospital, back when the Epidemic was viral. She cried and she talked to them and she reassured them that everything was okay. And when those people died, she cried again. She didn't even know them, and she was mourning over the loss of their lives. She is the most amazing person I've ever met and ever will meet.

I hear a sniffle from beside me. I look over to see Mikey wiping his eyes from tears. He's crying. Why is he crying?

"Hey buddy..." I sooth, rubbing his arm. "What's wrong, Mikey?"

"It's just..." Sniffle. "He..." Sniffle. "Benj wasn't even that old; he was fourteen and he was one of my closest buddies. I just...I can't believe that..." He swallows. "I can't believe he's gone." My heart goes out to my baby brother and I feel tears sliding down my down cheeks silently.

I hug my little brother and he continues to cry. Mikey isn't used to pain and loss. In fact, none of us are. We don't expect to lose anyone, except for Master Splinter someday; but that won't be for a long, long time, we hope. But Mikey is right.

"He's okay," I say unsteadily. "Lexi tells me that's he's okay." My brothers and I are too wrapped up in crime fighting and ninjistu to actually get into religion. Donnie is probably the only one of us who knows more than two religions and that's only because he's a curious guy. The rest of us don't think about it much.

"Really?" Mikey sniffles, looking up at me with his big blue eyes. "Is he really?" I bite my lip and hold my breath. I don't know for sure. How can I be sure of something that I can't see? But then I think of something that Lexi told me once.

She and I had been sitting out on the rooftops talking one night. It was probably about mid-January. She and I had months to even find out about the feelings we had for one another. So there we both sat; a couple without even knowing it.

It was cold and we had brought up some hot chocolate that she'd made and we were just talking about anything and everything. From why chocolate doesn't come in the color purple, to why she wouldn't make a good President.

Then religion came up.

"But how can you believe something if you can't even see it? How do you know that there is a God?" I had asked her. I had caught a small smile on her face as she took another sip of her hot chocolate before setting it down and lying on her back.

"Faith." She'd answered simply. I stared at her for a moment and smiled.

"You wanna elaborate a little?" I'd encouraged, and she laughed. She then propped herself up on her elbow and looked off into the traffic as she followed my request.

"There's a feeling that I get when I read a verse from the Bible or say a prayer about whether or not something is right. It's a warm, happy feeling that I can't even explain. Sometimes I cry, it's such an amazing feeling." She paused. "You should try it sometime."

"What? Pray?"

"Not now," she said, shaking her head. "Just...if you ever need an answer to something. Or comforting," She took in an unsteady breath. "It really helps when in need of comforting..." I stared at her for a minute, and it didn't take long to realize that she really, truly did believe that there was a greater being out there. In fact...it was almost like she knew.

"I'll have to try it sometime." I didn't actually plan on ever trying it, but I had to say something. She smiled a bit more and then laid back down on her back again, hands behind her curly blonde hair.

"Besides," She began, shaking her head in wonder as she gazed up at the stars. "Who else would make such a beautiful earth? Look at all those stars! How could there not be a greater being out there? There are just millions of galaxies and nebulas and billions and billions of stars. Somewhere out there, there's someone who made all of this for us." The thought kind of creeped me out, to be honest with you. Some dude staring down at me every second of every day, never stopping?

"Who made God then?" I quizzed and I was surprised when she laughed.

"Okay, now we're getting to the questions that I really cannot answer."

"Hey," I defended. "This entire conversation has been kind of confusing and hard to comprehend. I don't have an infinite thinking capacity, you know. I gotta delete some things up there in that big old brain of mine."

She laughed again and I smiled. I always liked it when I could make her laugh.

"Sorry."

"But really," I began, shaking my head. "Doesn't he ever get tired of watching every one of us every second of the day? Does he have like ten billion eyes or something? And ears? How can he see and hear everything we do? And what about the super boring people like Donnie...doesn't he ever get tired of them?"

"He's got angels to write down what we say and do."

"That's only a little bit creepy."

"You're just scared because of all the revenge plotting that's been done on Mikey in that big old brain of yours!" she teased and I blushed. It wasn't that, it was just that I thought about Lexi so much. It was embarrassing to think that somebody could not only see that I was thinking about her, but wrote it down! I laughed in spite of myself. I bet the angels had me set on default on their comedy channel.

"Anyway, didn't you ever watch Veggie Tales when you were young?"

"Veggie what?"

"You've never heard of Veggie Tales?" I shook my head at her question. "Wow, you really have been living in a sewer."

"What is it then?"

"It's this animated T.V show about these vegetables that talk and they reenact Bible stories."

"Television sure is running out of decent ideas these days..." She whacked me hard and I flinched back, rubbing my arm. "Ow! I'm just saying; vegetables that talk?"

"They don't just talk," she defended. "They reenact Bible tales!"

"Well that makes it more normal."

"You're just a critic! It's a nice way to explain the Bible to young kids. You know...and get them to eat their vegetables," she mumbled that last part and I laughed.

We both sat there and discussed religion for a little while longer, until the conversation moved to why Lexi would be considered a horrible doctor. It's insane to think that while we were having that conversation, Benj was still alive.

I flash back to reality and it takes me to remember that Mikey has asked me a question.

"Yeah," I say quietly. "I'm sure." I'm not sure though. I had never prayed about anything, like Lexi had told me to. "I'm going to my room now." Nobody really says anything back, so I hurry down the hall and enter my room.

My eyes flicker everywhere but the video camera that lies plugged into the wall. I sigh and close my eyes, thinking. Before I know it, I'm on my knees. What am I doing? I'm praying. And I don't even know why.

"Um...God," I begin, pausing for a moment. "I don't exactly know how to pray, so I apologize in advance. I was told by a very good friend of mine, Lexi King, that praying is good. So here I am...praying." This is the lamest prayer I've ever imagined, but I keep going. "Um...I'm kind of confused right now, on a lot of levels. And I thought maybe...maybe you could show me a sign..." I pause and then shake my head. "Wait no...Lexi said you don't like showing signs. It's all about faith." I take a breath. "I need to have faith."

I take a pause again. This time, it's really long; maybe a ten minute pause. I'm sure that God probably thinks I've ended my prayer, but I have a feeling that continuing won't hurt any.

"I'm just really worried right now. Lexi is going through a really hard time, as is her family. So are my brothers and I. In fact...most of the people that I know are. And I know that you can't really save everyone. But...maybe you could just show me that you care. Lexi says that sometimes when she prays, she gets a really happy feeling. I'd like to get that happy feeling, if it isn't asking for too much. Like I said, I know you can't save everyone...but..." I pause, and I genuinely can't think of anything else to say. "Amen."

I don't know what I expected. Some huge burst of happiness and energy. Or maybe Lexi to burst through the door and tell me that she loved me.

But I had been sitting there for not too long, when suddenly, I think of something.

I can't remember anything else that I'd said in my prayer except for one thing: He can't save everyone. I know how He feels...and He knows how I feel. Everyone expects my brothers and I to be able to save everyone in danger. But we can't do that, no matter how hard we want to.

The same goes for God, I guess, if there is one. He wants everyone to be happy and saved, but some people are just reckless and He can't do anything about it because it's their choice. But in other situations, people are hurt or killed and they are absolutely innocent; like Benj.

I don't know where this burst of perspective comes from, but I feel like it's right. There's a small but firm happiness in my heart. No...wait...it isn't happiness. There is still so much to be worried about.

It's hope.

I have hope that everything will be okay.

I smile to myself and look up.

"Thank you..." I whisper.

I have hope. And that's the only thing that I need right now. I thought that I needed love from Lexi (which in some ways I do) or victory or the power to save others or Benjamin back...when the only thing that I really, truly need...is hope.

The rest will come later.

 **A/N: Hello my beautiful friends & readers. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, even though I know it started out kind of sad. Well, really sad. The whole situation is just sad. And difficult. And I know right now Lexi is really easy to hate but just hang in there. Everyone is going through loads of crap right now and nobody really knows what they're thinking or how to act. Nobody knows how to handle life right now and that's okay.**

 **I liked inputting the aspect of religion for this chapter. I feel like, personally, my faith and belief in God has played a tremendous role in my life, especially when I am going through difficult things. Clearly Leo has never really been religious so that's really a new concept for him, and not really something that he has a ton of experience with, but he knew it helped Lexi so he tried out something as simple as praying.**

 **I love you guys & appreciate every single eye ball that skims over my writing~**


	3. Notes

**Leo's POV:**

It's kind of odd to have a funeral in the summertime. Not that I would know, considering how I've never been to a funeral in my life. But when you think of a funeral, you think of rain and dark clouds and crying. There's a lot of crying, but there are no darkened skies or rain drops. It's only ten AM, and it's already up to seventy degrees, bound to get hotter.

We sit in the church from nine-thirty, until eleven-thirty. Lots of people speak, but none of them are Lexi or Rose. In fact, none of those that speak look to be under the age of thirty or so.

I'd expected there to be a larger crowd. I don't even have to ask the question, when I hear Master Splinter whisper, "I think that the Kings would rather have close friends and family here, opposed to many, many people." I don't ask any questions after that and I try to make it seem like I'm not still curious.

Before long, everyone piles out of the church. Some men help carry the casket out into a hearse and after the car is gone, everyone gets into their cars and leaves. My family and I have arrived right on time so I hadn't been able to see Lexi or Rose.

Casey drives and April sits in the passenger seat, sniffling and wiping her tears. April had expressed to us how much more she could have done to show Benj that she cared; she started to blame herself. And that was the most ridiculous thing that I'd ever heard.

But since the ride to the funeral is spent filled with "it was my fault" and "I can't believe he's gone..." the ride to the actual cemetery is almost dead silent. The air conditioning is blasting because without it, we'd all become toast. Nobody speaks and nobody has to.

When I get out of the car, I finally see Lexi. Her curly blonde hair is pinned back halfway and her arms are crossed tightly against her chest.

I'm afraid to approach her. What am I supposed to say? I have come closer without realizing. Even from the distance that I was at, I can tell that she isn't wearing makeup. She always said that it's pointless to wear makeup at funerals because you always just cry it off anyway.

She laughed when she had told me that. I can imagine she wouldn't have laughed if she knew that the next funeral she'd go to would be for her little brother.

The actual service goes quickly. A man I don't recognize gives a prayer and it's over before I know it. I hear a few people say things like, "I'm so sorry for your loss..." or "Benj was a great young man." But I know that it probably isn't helping them. Saying those things isn't going to bring him back.

I'm about to approach Lexi. She stands nearest to the grave and it looks like she's ignoring everybody. Of course, I see her respond with a sad smile to anyone that tries to talk to her, but she doesn't really seem to intend on starting a conversation. Like before, I'd unknowingly neared her. It's a habit that I can't break. I need to be near her and know that she's safe; even if she doesn't want me around.

I watch Lexi for a few more moments. She just sits there at the grave, mumbling under her breath. It could have been a prayer, or she might have just been talking to Benj. Minutes later, an older woman approaches her. The woman has dark gray hair and her eyes seem to shine with a light I can't explain.

"Alexandra, stand." Her voice is calm and comforting. It has the most soothing touch to it and even though she isn't addressing me, I still feel comforted by it. I'm surprised when Lexi follows the old woman's orders.

"Grandma..." she whispers, squeezing her eyes shut. "He's...he's..." She's going to say gone. I know she is.

"Listening," The old woman finishes. There is a silence between the two. The old woman tucked a strand of loose curls back behind Lexi's ear and sighs. "You are a King, Lexi."

Lexi chuckles softly. "A King."

"You know what I mean," The old lady exclaims, but her voice stays soft. "Alexandra Rachelle King: the strongest of all the fighters, the bravest of all the soldiers." She pauses and shakes her head. "Your name."

"My name?"

"Your name," she repeats. "It tells you what you are."

"Grandma, what do you mean?" She pauses and then swallows as more tears slide down her cheeks. "Benj told me that I was strong. He said something about my name. Grandma, what do you mean?" The old woman simply smiles softly.

"You were born a strong soul. You were put into this life because you were strong enough to live it, and you were put into these conditions because you are brave enough and smart enough to get through." The woman takes Lexi's hand and squeezes it. "You are so valiant, my dear. You always have been and you will continue to be." The old woman kisses Alex's forehead. "And Benjamin thinks so too. He's cheering you on right now. He doesn't want you to give up, my darling." And with a hug, the old woman disappears into the lot of cars that are exiting the funeral.

I'm about to take my chance. I start to step out and tell to her; but something interrupts me. More like someone, actually.

"You okay?" Noah asks, tucking the same strand of hair behind her ear. I hold my breath and tighten my fist.

"I am _not_ answering that, Noah," she states through her teeth, getting down onto the ground again. I relax a little. Well, at least I'm not the only person she hates.

Noah sighs and gets down next to her as well. He takes hold of her hand and my face goes red with anger. But then I realize that she isn't mine anymore. I don't have a reason to be angry; no matter how much I still love her.

"I know you're scared." She doesn't deny it. "And I know you're angry with the world...with everyone." He pauses. "But Benj wouldn't want you to be upset. He knows you love him and you know that he loves you. That's all he really wanted: was for you to know that you were the best sister to him. That you always went above and beyond expectations and never failed to show your appreciation." He pauses again and gives her a side hug. She visibly tenses, but doesn't pull away.

I leave the funeral feeling empty.

 **LEXI'S POV:**

I return to my bedroom without speaking to anyone. Nobody says anything about it.

I know very well that I can't hide out in my room like this forever. Eventually, I will need to get out and live my life again. I'm going to CTU and I will be moving out. And for some reason, moving out doesn't seem as bad as before. By moving out, I'll be leaving behind all the pain of home and the people I love. It isn't going to be as hard of a decision.

By leaving home, I won't have to think about how I couldn't save Benj. I won't have to think about the turtles or the pain I'm probably giving Mom or any of that. And I won't have to think about Leo.

I choke up a bit when I think about Leo and I unknowingly have put my hand to my chest. I feel a sudden shock in my heart, like realization. I've really let him go, haven't I? As the tears spill down my face, I take a seat in my computer chair and start to cry.

I still love Leo so much. When you go through so much with someone like that, you don't ever let them go. Even if you move on eventually, you never let them go. There is always some part of you that loves them still. And I know that I'll always love Leo; and I might never move on.

Just the thought that I'm crying over a breakup with a mutant turtle is almost insane. People would think that I was nuts if I tried to explain my dilemma.

I didn't want to break up with him. Or maybe I did. I'm still really confused. I didn't see it coming; didn't know I was going to actually do it. I didn't say the words, but I think that we both understand that that was what I meant by 'take a break'.

"Benjamin..." I whisper, shaking my head and shutting my eyes tightly. "Why did you have to go?" I don't get an answer and I don't expect one. I bring my knees up to my chest and hug them, burying my face into my arms.

I sit there like that for an amount of time that I'm not completely sure of. It could be hours and it probably is. All that I know, is that when I finally lift my face from my knees, I'm almost convinced that I have fallen asleep because my vision is a bit blurry and I feel sensitive to the sudden brightness of my lamp.

There is a small, white envelope on my bed.

I get up and warily make my way over towards the note. When had that gotten there? I reach out and hesitate before actually picking it up. It's light and it doesn't have a name plastered on the front. I take it out of the envelope and find a delicate sheet of paper folded up.

I open it up and find that the writing is none other than Leo's. His writing has always been lighter than most, and he doesn't press all that hard on the paper. If I shut my eyes and run my fingers over the paper, I wouldn't even think that there is anything on it; he writes that lightly. And that's what I want to do. I'm scared to read what Leo had to write. What if he was going to tell me that he didn't love me anymore? That he was glad that we broke up? Or maybe he was going to try and persuade me to give him another chance.

I force myself away from those thoughts, and look down to see what he has actually written, opposed to my possible scenarios.

 _Lexi,_

 _Saying "sorry for your loss" doesn't cover my feelings. I'm devastated that Benj isn't here anymore, and it really bothers me that you think I could have done something about it. It makes me feel guilty, even though I know that if I'd tried to help any longer, you would have died._

 _Remember when we spent those weeks at the farmhouse? We'd barely met you guys and we were inviting you to come along to the farmhouse as if you were close, life-long family friends. I spent those weeks as a roommate to Benj and that was really nice. I learned things about him and he learned things about me. It was the start of a really great bond._

 _I know that you are probably sick and tired of people saying all these wonderful things about Benj. You already know all these wonderful things, so why have everyone tell you them? Well I don't know, to be honest. I think it's just a good way of reminiscing—a good way to remember the beautiful memories._

 _I prayed the other day. It probably wasn't the most beautiful, flawless prayer ever, but it was a prayer. I got that feeling you told me about—that calm feeling. But to be honest with you, I kind of expected a super happy, exciting feeling. It wasn't that at all though. In fact...it wasn't really a feeling of happiness. It was a feeling that brought my heart at peace and serenity and seemed to whisper, "It'll be okay." It took me a few minutes to realize that that feeling was hope._

 _The only thing that is stronger than fear is hope. And hope is basically faith, if you think about it. Having hope—or having faith—that something will or will not happen. And sometimes it isn't even that specific...sometimes it's just faith that it'll be okay._

 _Praying made me realize something. People we meet expect my brothers and I to always be able to save everyone. If they put themselves into danger, they expect us to save them. If they just happen to be at the right place at the wrong time, they still expect us to suddenly appear and save their lives. It's the horrible title of a hero that we own, and it's really terrible that we can only live up to it part of the time._

 _I can't say I believe in a God. But if there is one, I guess he might feel that way sometimes. Some people put themselves in stupid situations, and others are just put in those situations as a lesson to others; not because they made a mistake...but because someone else did. I'm sure that God would want to help everyone he could, but he couldn't do that. I mean...he_ could _do that. You always tell me that God can to anything. But he can't. You know what I mean. He doesn't work that way. He can't save everyone who gets cancer or everyone that happens to be a victim in a shooting._

 _I'm not trying to tell you what to do; trust me, I'm not. But I feel like Benj was a lesson to you. Don't slap me for saying this, but I think that you need to learn to love Rose just as much as you loved Benj. To build a connection with Rose—a connection that we all know you probably wouldn't have been able to build with Benj still here._

 _This is just what I think. You don't have to agree, but I just want you to know that Benj is okay and I know it now._

 _I love you. I don't know exactly how you feel anymore, but I'm hoping that you still love me too. Whatever happens between us, I'll let it happen. But I'm going to make a promise to you right now: I promise that I will support you and I will love you unconditionally. Because Alexandra King; you were the girl who changed my life. And I could never let someone like you go._

 _Love,_

 _Leo_

By the end of the letter, tears are streaming down my face. I'm about to fold the letter back up, but my eyes catch sight of something at the bottom.

 _P.S: Look up what your name means._

I scrunch up my eyebrows in confusion and turn to my computer. I google the meaning for my name.

Name: Alexandra

Origin: Greece

Name Meaning: Protector of mankind.

 **A/N: Honestly I think the most unrealistic part of this entire story is not the existence of teenage mutant ninja turtles but that a teenage girl has never once looked up the meaning of her name tbh. and no, her name clearly does not mean strong, as everybody implied that it did. I tricked you guys(: but it does mean protector of mankind which tbh i think is super cool.**

 **also yes leo is still madly in love clearly bc why else would he freaking WRITE HER THAT CHEESY SWEET LETTER OH MY GOSH**

 **That turtle is IN LOVE and I love it ugh we all need a Leo in our lives. And yes Lexi is kind of being a brat (though debatable) but she is a brat with a heart and we love that girl.**


	4. Paddleboat

We don't do Recluse Day for the first time in eleven years. Everyone notices, but nobody says anything about it. We can't have Recluse Day without Benj.

I sit at the dining room table, doodling on a sheet of paper that is nearby. Nobody speaks. Mom is writing responses to all the condolence cards and Rose is watching the news, which is turned down so low that I can't be sure that she's actually watching it. It's a bad habit in our family to turn on the television, not because we want to watch it, but because we can't stand having it absolutely dead silent.

"When does CTU require that you move into a dorm?" Mom asks quietly, glancing up from the cards. I've started to reach out more to Mom at least and sometimes Mallory, who is heartbroken at Benj's passing as well. Sometimes, I manage to speak more than three sentences, which is a huge improvement. But none of us speak all that loudly; our voices have seemingly had the volume turned down.

"I should be there no later than the 9th," I respond as I continue to doodle. Mom doesn't respond. I begin to assume that it wasn't even meant as a real question; she just wants someone to talk.

"When are you...um...when are you planning on leaving?" Rose asks softly from the couch. I tell myself not to glance over at her. I know that if I do, I'll instantly regret my answer which is "As soon as possible." Even though I'm able to follow my own orders (surprisingly, at that), I can still feel the sorrowful gaze of Rosalie. She doesn't want me to leave.

"I don't know." It's the answer I've been answering to most of the questions asked.

Are you okay? _I don't know._

Do you need anything? _I don't know._

How are you doing? _I'm fine._

What's your definition of fine? _I don't know._

I don't know anything lately. Or maybe I never have; I'm just now realizing it.

There is a knock at the door. From the corner of my eye, I can see Rose's head perk up. Mom doesn't glance over at the door and neither do I. Rose has been like a little kid on Christmas when it comes to visitors; and Mom and I are likewise to Scrooge from A Christmas Carol. Rose seems to be in need of anything that would distract any of us from thinking about pain.

My sister is up and opening the door before I can tell her not to. Behind the door reveals a very tired looking Mallory and Noah. Actually, Noah is the one who looks tired. Mallory looks fine, besides the fact that her curly red hair is spiraling everywhere and sweat beads her head.

"Hey!" Rose says smiling, opening the door wider. "Come in." I clench my fist up and fix my gaze back onto the doodles I've drawn. How can she be so happy after what happened to Benj? Does she even care? I'm about to say something that proves my anger. How can she smile when we've just lost a brother two weeks ago?

I then turn towards her completely. She's smiling at Noah, who smiles down at her comfortingly. Mallory's frizzy hair and fashionable summer outfit and the air that is blasting overhead makes everything seem so terrifyingly normal. Then I realize something.

This is how Rose copes with it. She pretends like everything is the same, only one small (yet still very large) difference. She focuses on other things; other people. For instance, right now she is starting small conversation with Noah and laughing as she listens to the story about how Mallory dragged him here because he was about to try out for a yoga class and she had to get the idea out of his head.

I then feel ashamed. Why hadn't I thought of such a reasonable way to cope with the loss of my brother? While Rosalie has simply been trying to move on and live life, I've been showing desolation to everyone and everything around me.

But it's a habit and sadly, I feel like it will take hard work to break it. And I know that right now is an opportunity to start that hard work. I need to socialize—talk to Noah and Mallory and maybe even adopt Rose's way of coping. But I feel like I have a ten pound weight weighing onto my chest. I can't talk and smile and act like it's okay. I don't want to.

It's when Mallory approaches me cautiously that I finally decide to try.

"Hey Mal," I greet quietly, as I embrace her into a hug. She visibly relaxes and hugs me back gratefully. She's happy that I'm trying to open up. I'm afraid that I can't say that I share that same excitement, but as long as I'm making someone else happy, then I'm happy.

She smiles softly and I force a smile. Even though I know that she's aware of the falseness in the smile, I can tell that she's content to at least see a smile.

"It's great to see you." She doesn't ask how I am. She doesn't tell me that she's sorry about Benj. She doesn't even mention Recluse Day or college or the turtles. Instead, she grabs my hand and yanks me to the ground.

"Now that you've finally come out of that cave you call your room," she begins, grasping the remote from the coffee table. "We are here to have a Disney Marathon."

"Is that the only reason you came here? For HD television and great quality air conditioning?" The joke tastes foreign on my lips, but it feels nice to have someone laugh at something I say for once.

"Noah, you're all techy and what not. Set this up," she orders, handing him the cords.

"What? You think that just because I'm smart and I like technology, that's automatically going to mean that I know what to do with a few tangled wires and a small box with electronic cards?" We all stare at him in silence, waiting for him to go on. He grins and looks down at the wires. "Oh man, of course I know how to set this up! It's actually one of my favorites." And that is the start of a ten minute explanation of why he enjoys setting things up; an explanation which I zone out of when he starts reaching six-syllable words.

"Well, there you are." Noah presents, motioning to the screen which pops up onto our television. It lists a long series of shows that I vaguely remember from my childhood. I smile at the screen and glance over at Mallory.

"Awesome," she mutters, fumbling with the remote. "Now let's see..."

The next few hours are spent in the living room. I definitely don't talk as much as I used to, but I'm really warming up to everyone. Mom sits at the dining room table pretty much the whole time, maybe making a comment here and there, but staying quiet overall. It's nice to forget for a while.

But I will remember eventually. And I'll have to move out eventually. And I'll have to talk to the turtles eventually. But these are things that I don't really want to do right now, or ever.

Right now, I want to stay exactly where I am. I want to stay sitting on the floor with Mallory, kicking Rose and Noah's feet every once in a while as we watch Kim Possible with the fans blasting and Otter Pops freezing our hands. I want it to stay like this forever plus a day.

It's like we are on a paddleboat. It's fun as we sit there in the water, sitting as still as we can as we just watch the beauty of nature. There are very little bumps and turns in the boat, and it overall stays still. But eventually, we'll have to pick up our paddles, and row away. We'll have to row away to another problem and leave all the beauty behind. There will be wobbles and turns and as we paddle away, the boat may even turn over completely. At some point, I'll just throw the paddles down and wait for the boat to take me away to anywhere but here.

I'll never be in the same place again.


	5. Old Friend

The Headquarters seems to me like an old place that I haven't visited for a long, long time. One of those places that you used to constantly go, to the point where you've memorized everything from the cracks on the wall to who is where and when. It all seems kind of foreign now.

Things have been changed up a bit. They are small things, but things that I notice. Daren Wright's desk has been moved to the right and the main trash can by the bathrooms have been replaced with one that is slightly smaller. You notice those kind of things when you work somewhere for six years.

My feet feel heavy as I make my way carefully to my desk. I don't even sit down for a few minutes. I catch so many people staring at me and instead of displaying how infuriated I am, I put on a smile and hope that the eyes will shift away from me. I don't like being the center of attention.

There are piles of papers on my desk. Some of my pens and pencils are lying on the side of my desk, displaying that someone has been using my things. It wouldn't have bothered me all that much if it weren't for the fact that I haven't even been at the Headquarters and people are messing with my things.

It's clear that Agent Serena isn't going to cut me any slack. There is no doubt in my mind that she has been the person to put those stacks of papers and forms on my desk. Most people would hear about what happened to Benj, and they'd avoid my desk. Serena on the other hand, seems to want to put more work on my shoulders. Whether it's because she wants to distract me from my brother's death or just because she doesn't care, I don't know.

"Hey Lexi..." A quiet voice says. I glance up to find a pre-teen looking boy standing in front of my desk. It takes me a minute to recognize him. It's Lucas McBride.

He's gotten taller—is now about 5'3 or 5'4, which is still very short. He has a look in his eyes that I can't quite name. I noticed myself doing that a lot: not being able to name the expression on a person's face.

"Hi Luke." My voice breaks at his name. "I haven't seen you in forever." To be honest, I really feel bad. I had been avoiding Lucas even before Benjamin died. I had been caught up with my own problems that I didn't want to have to deal with him.

"How...how are you doing?" He keeps his voice at a quiet tone, as if I was going to lash out at him for bringing up my state of being. And a week ago, I probably would have. But ever since that realization about how I've been coping with things, I've been trying the best I can to maintain my anger and refrain from getting upset. But just because I'm not going to lash out doesn't mean that I have to lie.

"I'm doing...better. Definitely not what you would call well, but I'm getting there I think. I'm just still kind of experiencing the aftershock." I don't know if you can call it aftershock anymore, but I can't think of any other way to phrase it.

Luke's big hazel eyes are filled with emotion as he nods his head. That's when it hits me: the emotion that rests in his eyes: empathy.

Not sympathy; but empathy. He knows what I'm going through.

I feel even worse now when I remember. Lucas had lost his parents at the age of ten. Luke had to basically grow through his teenage years without parents. And not only are his parents dead, but they were killed. They were killed by the Foot Clan.

My heart swells when I realize how similar we really are. Personality wise, we are different by a lot. But he and I have experienced some of the same things. And my guilt continues to grow as I remember all the times I'd seen someone teasing Luke and I hadn't said anything because I was too busy to get involved.

Too busy. It sounded like a perfect reason then, but the stupidest reason now.

"I know...I know that you probably don't think that I know what you're going through. But I do, Lexi. I really do. I mean, not exactly what you're going through. I don't have any siblings and I know that the relationships that a person has with their siblings are usually really different than their relationships with the parents. But I want to just thank you for helping me get through my pain and I want you to know what I'm here to help you get through yours because that's what friends do." This is more than I've ever heard Lucas speak and what makes it all more real is the fact that he's rambling on and stumbling on his words.

I smile. And it's a real smile.

"Thank you, Luke. That's really sweet of you." I pause. "And yes; I probably will need someone to help me through. And I think that you're the perfect person for the job."

He smiles and his face flushes. "T-thanks," he stumbles. "I promise, Lexi...I'll help you like you helped me." He glances around at the stack of papers on my desk. "Well um...I guess I should let you get back to work." I glance over at my papers and chuckle.

"Maybe you can start helping me now by throwing these reports into a fire without getting me in trouble," I whisper jokingly and then I smile. "I'll see you around Lucas. Thanks again." I feel a lot better after I've talked to him. It's crazy how a thirteen year old kid can bring so much hope to a person.

I'm not lying when I tell him I'm doing better. Sure, I still cry every single night (sometimes multiple times a day). But I'm not so much of a recluse as I was the first week of Benj's death. I'm slowly and almost surely recovering. But I have a feeling that it will take a whole lot more than a thirteen year old boy to help me recover from this tragic loss.

"Lexi," A familiar voice says and I glance over to find a purple-banded turtle.

"Donnie..." I mumble, biting the inside of my cheek. "What...what are you doing here?"

"I still kind of work here part time," he reminds, rubbing the back of his neck. "I can leave though if you feel uncomfortable having me here." I do feel uncomfortable; really uncomfortable. It's like the whole 'foreign place' thing all over again, only it's worse. In Donnie, I see portions of Leo. And my heart aches just thinking about him.

But at the same time, it's refreshing to see him. I miss the turtles, although I will rarely admit it to myself and I'll never admit it to anyone out loud. I miss Master Splinter and his wise lessons and Mikey and his craziness. I miss Raph's sarcasm and his strange closeness with Mallory and I miss Donnie's annoying six-syllable words and how similar he is to Noah. And I miss Leo. I really, really miss Leo.

Two weeks. It has been two weeks since I'd seen Leo last; or any of the turtles for that matter. April and Casey will come over on one occasion or another, but it isn't exactly what you would call a daily basis.

"It _is_ a little bit weird," I admit, finally sitting down at my desk. "But you don't have to go home. I guess I'll have to get used to seeing you guys eventually." He gives me a sympathetic look and stands there for a few moments, just looking at me.

"I know that this is probably the last thing you want to hear," he begins, and I immediately know that it's about Leo. "But Leo's been heartbroken ever since you broke up with him; and even a little bit before that. Have you...have you been getting his letters?"

"Yes." Ever since the funeral, every night before I go to bed, I find a letter sitting on my pillow. Some days it's short and other days it's long. Some days it comes with a rose (which is my favorite flower) and others it comes bare. The letters never once say the same things except for that he loves me. He always has something different to say in each letter.

"Do you read them?"

"Yes."

"Good." Donnie looks kind of relieved. "Leo's been worried that you haven't been reading them and you just trash them or something." I stare at the purple-clad turtle and shake my head.

"I read them. I don't throw them away."

"He really loves you...you know that right?" I don't have to answer to that. I just stare at Donnie. He looks at me and shakes his head to himself. "He's so madly in love with you, even now. Do you still love him?" Silence. "Right sorry...that's kind of personal." I can't bring myself to say anything else. Donnie reminds me too much of Leo. I want him to go away, yet at the same time, I want him to stay close.

"I hope you forgive him. I know you've already forgiven me because you at least talk to me. But it's been hard for you to forgive Leo." He pauses. "But just know that he loves you more and more every day." He starts to walk back to the lab.

"Donnie," I say quietly, yet forcefully. He turns around. "I still love him." Donnie stares at me and then nods. With that, he turns back around and continues to walk forward. I let out a sigh and pick up the many stacks of reports. I find the Profile Reports and begin sorting. But my mind is somewhere else.

How can Leo still love me after all I've done to push him away? How can anyone love someone after they've constantly shown nothing but hatred to them? The last time I'd seen him, I hadn't spoke to him. And the last time I spoke with him, I broke up with him. Anyone who had to go through what I put Leo through would surely have a reason to not love me anymore.

But Leo isn't just anybody.

"Agent Alexandra." I'm tired of people calling my name. I don't look up this time, even though I know it's Serena. "Agent." I continue to stare down at the papers, but I pause enough to let her know I'm listening. She sighs and doesn't go on. I know what that means.

I finally look up at her. "Yes, Agent Serena?" She stares at me for a few moments before sighing and nodding at me.

"I see you've found some of the Profile Reports. We've specifically picked out ones that are related to the matter of the RBMC and given them to you." _Of course_ she would give me information regarding the people that want to kill me. Of course.

"Thanks." My answer sounds dull and blunt and I feel kind of bad about it. I was born with a terrible curse called guilt; and trust me, it isn't the best thing. Some people tell me that it's great to be able to feel bad about things, but I feel bad about the littlest things. If someone asks me how I'm doing while we're passing by in the hallway and I answer, but forget to ask how they're doing, then I'll feel guilty for roughly one week plus a few days.

"The past week has really been a hit with what we can find out about the Metamorphosis center." _What a thrill._ "Looking through those packets will help you protect yourself and your family." I shove all my sarcastic thoughts away when I realize that she's right. In so many ways she is protecting me by giving me this packet of reports.

"Thanks."

"Look through them and see what you can gather. Take notes on things you think are important and then return them to my mailbox," she orders, nodding once at me. I am dismissed to start researching now. I fix my gaze back onto the papers and wait to hear her footsteps walking away. After a few seconds, I do. But not before I hear her call my name one more time.

"Agent," she begins, and I glance up at her. "Lexi...it's great to have you back." Before I can respond, she hurries off again. I sigh and bite the inside of my cheek. She always does that. I don't know if it's a pride thing or a modest thing; but she never stays to hear someone thank her for something. When she compliments someone, she always rushes off before the person can respond.

I begin to look through the reports.

 _Name: Transmuters_

 _Natural State: Ogre_

 _Danger Level: 9_

 _Details: A Transmuter starts out as a human being but when mutated, completely forgets their previous state. It usually takes one week for them to completely, utterly forget everything in their life before they were mutated and once this process is complete, it's main mission will be set to kill._

 _They are immediate upon their murder, never wasting a moment. Their natural state is that of a reddish-purple or dark navy blue ogre. It has horn on his head and teeth sharp enough to shred wood._

 _They lure their prey by morphing themselves. It takes years for a Transmuter to be able to completely morph itself into a person or animal, but when it does, it is almost identical. It will often stand outside someone's home and morph itself into a parent, luring a child from inside the house to let them in. They can morph their voices, looks and if they know the person well enough, even some of their thoughts. The only difference is that they don't have the person's memories. And if you look close enough, there will be a red mark the shape of a triangle on their collar bone._

That gives me goose bumps. Something that can morph into someone that I know and then kill me by luring me to let them in? I'm suddenly grateful for the fact that we don't have a backyard.

 _Name: Maneuver Men_

 _Natural State: Unknown._

 _Danger Level: 10_

 _Details: Their natural state is unknown, but to the human eye, they appear to be mannequins. Not much is known about the Maneuver Men except for the fact that they have the power to kill with one simple grip of a hand. When it is standing, it is seemingly nailed to the floor. It stays completely and utterly still when any living thing is looking at it, but as soon as you look away, it moves and will strike._

 _It is known to be able to tamper with the lights and any electronics that would and could stand in the way of them finishing their kill. Looking into the eyes of a Maneuver Man is suicide. They wear dark sunglasses to prevent immediate death; if you looked directly into the eyes of a Maneuver Man, you'd immediately burn up. But even with this masking their eyes, their simple presence decreases your think ability and increases the chances of you doing something stupid._

 _Studies have shown..._

Studies have shown? What do they mean 'studies have shown'? Have they been testing it on people?

I slam the papers backwards onto the table so I don't have to look at them anymore. I have started crying without realizing it. I seem to be doing that a lot lately.

I look up to see that everyone is carrying on with their work. None of them are experiencing what I am right now and in some ways, that makes me feel upset.

Strangely, through all the voices and moving around, I can hear the sound of muffled voices having a conversation.

My eyes travel up to the conference room. Through the window, I can see the unmistakable head of my sister. I bite my lip and scrunch my eyebrows up, feeling a bit hurt. Are they having a meeting without me? Without thinking, I get up from my desk and head over to the room.

The door makes no noise as I walk in. I stand there and lean against the wall, which is about fifteen feet from the meeting. I'm surprised to see that not only is my sister here, but so is Noah. And Mallory...and Mom. And all the turtles.

My eyes land on Leo. Even from all the way across the room, I can still see his warm hazel eyes. My stomach turns at the sight of it. It's a feeling that feels so distant to me now, but it still feels nice. I cross my arms though because I want to get rid of the feeling. It doesn't go away.

"I feel like she needs a bodyguard," Noah decides and Mallory snorts, rolling her eyes.

"A bodyguard?" she mocks. "What is she, Harry Styles?" Noah shoots her a glare and my best friend crosses her arms as if it would help defend her point.

"Not that kind of bodyguard. Just someone who can protect her; do something we can't."

"We can protect her," Mom informs, but I can tell by the expression on her face that she is mainly just trying to convince herself. "We're her family."

"Not all of us have professional training, Mom," Rose insists, glancing over at Noah. "I mean, come on: Noah couldn't swat a fly if he wanted to." Noah looks offended and crosses his arms, shaking his head.

"Mallory doesn't have professional fighting skills either!" Noah points out.

"Yeah, but Mallory beat up a 12th grader when she was in the 8th grade," Rose reminds and Mallory snickers, shrugging her shoulders.

"I do what I want."

"No ya don't, and we're all thankful for that," Raph mutters, shaking his head

"We could pay someone to look after her. She doesn't need to know about it; maybe we can just order one of the detectives here to go undercover. You know...help her out a bit," Donnie suggests and I suddenly feel angry.

"Yeah, but knowing Lexi, she wouldn't miss the fact that there would be a big, buff guy showing up everywhere that she goes. She'd either think that he's a villain that's stalking her, or she'd recognize him from the Headquarters," Rose says, and everyone is quiet. Raph glances over at Leo and raises his eye ridges.

"Well Fearless? What'da ya think?" Leo stares at the ground for a few moments before looking at up at them.

"I think that we should just protect her because we're her friends and family; not get some professional to do it because really: what is professional protecting anyway? I feel like the best way to protect her is to let her know that we're here and tell her everything that goes on. _Not_ keep it a secret." Everyone stares at him, including me.

Whether Leo knows it or not, he says exactly what I'm thinking. I feel myself unclench my fists and the angry, boiling sensation in my face goes down. He knows me that well; he knows me better than my own family does apparently.

I don't wait to hear what anyone responds with. I back away and exit through the soundless door.

 **LEO'S POV:**

I stop by her window with the letter in my hand. Today, I have the note I'd written her, and a single red rose. I smile when I find a glass vase sitting atop her dresser, with the rose from last time sitting in cold water. The rest of the roses can be found pressed into a scrapbook. She always saves everything, and there is no doubt that she is saving these letters. I know her well enough to know that if I look through a drawer or two, I'll find that in her box full of old notes and cards, I'll find my letters stashed at the very top.

I'm shocked to see that she's already asleep. She is tucked under the covers—despite the nighttime heat—and her fan is blasting on her face. Her curly blonde hair has been put up into a bun and there are loose strands that have fallen down the sides and out of the bun. The fan blows most of the strands back. She looks so peaceful.

My heart stops when I see her. She's even beautiful in her sleep. I am almost afraid to approach her, even though she's asleep. I haven't been in the same room as her in over a week and my legs are shaking just now, thinking about how she is just feet away from me.

I look at the letter I have in my hands and reach over to place it on her nightstand. But my eyes catch sight of a large off-white envelope sitting on the stand. I smile softly as I pick it up and inspect the large lettering that spells the name 'Leo'. She has never been the one for small envelopes or small papers, since she has big handwriting.

I glance over at her one more time before I sit down in her computer chair (which makes a soft creaking noise). I glance up frantically to check and see if I've awakened her. She doesn't even stir, which I think is a miracle since she is easy to wake up. I proceed to open the letter.

I am slightly disappointed when I only see two words.

 _Thank you._

That's it. I find myself frowning and I have to mentally slap myself. What was I expecting? Some long, heartfelt letter from a girl who hardly ever even speaks to me anymore? Yes, that would have been nice.

I stare at her for a few moments. Then I look over the letter again for any sign or secret message. Maybe a small 'I love you' at the bottom; that sounds like something she'd do. But I find nothing. There aren't even eraser marks like she had really thought out this letter. Just two words: thank you.

Specifically what is she thanking me for? Writing her all those letters? Offering to help her get through? I feel like I should know the answer, but I don't. It's making me a bit frustrated. Why can't she just be a little more straightforward? It's when I look over at her that I find the answer.

She's tired. Not physically...but emotionally. The past week has been rough on her and she just wants to get through. She has so many thoughts spinning in her head.

I stand up from the chair and start for the window. But I can't help but look over at her again. I find myself standing next to her again. I bend down and softly caress her cheek. Her face feels cold, probably because of the fan.

"Oh Lexi..." I whisper. "I love you so much." I lean down and kiss her forehead. Then, I stand back up and decide to only leave the rose on the nightstand. I hope that she'll forgive me.


	6. Red

**LEO'S POV:**

It always narrows down to me against Raph. We stare at each other, waiting for Master Splinter to give the order. As soon as he does, Raph charges at me. I quickly jump out of the way, but it seems like he knows I'm going to do that. He reaches out and grabs me, kicking my head. I go crashing towards the ground, but I flip back up and kick him in the chest. He doesn't fall; barely catches himself, but he doesn't fall.

Instead, he laughs humorlessly and stands up straighter. He smirks, like he knows something I don't. Even though I know that it's just a method to catch me off guard, it still bothers me. He has a smug look in his eyes, like he knows that his obnoxious expression is already catching me off guard. I shake my head to myself and force myself to focus on weaknesses.

My eyes flicker quickly towards his training gear, which lies right beside the wall, just feet away from Mikey and Don. In his gear, sits his Shell Cell, which is lit up; displaying that someone has just texted him. I grin.

"Hey Raph," I taunt. "You shouldn't put your Shell Cell on silent, even during training sessions. Mallory doesn't like to be ignored." His eyes widen and he whips his head around to look at his Shell Cell. I snatch his arm and flip him over. I have to admit; he's pretty heavy, since he works out 80% of the time and has way more muscle than the rest of us. But that only makes the victory better and he crashes to the ground. The ground beneath us seems to shake.

He looks like pain is shocking throughout his body. His face reddens quickly and I'm not sure if it's from anger or embarrassment that my plan actually worked. Now it's my turn to smile obnoxiously.

We constantly tease Raph about his friendship with Mallory. Whenever we bring up the fact that they argue like a married couple and talk to each other like they're boyfriend and girlfriend, he'll mutter something under his breath and start insulting us, which is his way of stalling and trying to get off the subject.

"Ooh...would you look at that: looks like Raphie really _fell_ for Mallory!" Mikey jokes and he bursts into a laughing fit at his own joke. I can tell by the firing glare of Raph, that he's desperately holding everything back enough to refrain from punching Mikey in the face. So he keeps his seething gaze set on me, which makes me more than uncomfortable. He's angry; and that's an understatement.

"Oh, you're so smug, ain't ya? Well I'm gonna wipe that smile off your face faster than you can say—"

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," Mikey finishes again and before any of our reflexes can catch, Raph chucks one sai at Mikey. The sai hits the wall beside our baby brother—just centimeters from his face. He visibly stiffens when he notices that the sai has caught onto his mask, which is now stapled into the wall. Mikey gulps and his eyes flash over to Donnie. "Donnie..." Donatello sighs and reaches over, gently wiggling the sai out of the wall, trying his best not to hit Mikey with it as he pulls it out.

I quickly flash my eyes back to Raph, just in time to see him hurl his other sai at me. I jump out of the way and as he goes to retrieve it, I can't help but say something that has been on my mind.

"A true ninja never throws their weapons!" I remind, and suddenly, the sai is flung at me again. It catches onto my mask, just as it had done to Mikey, and I'm suddenly pinned against the wall by it. Raph kicks my chest and I make an 'oof' and clash to the ground. The sai on the other hand, doesn't want to come with me. My mask rips into shreds and the sai stays pinned into the wall.

Raph makes his way back over to the wall, yanking the sai out. He stares down at me for what seems like forever, and then he snatches his gear and hurries out of the training room.

"Raphael!" Master Splinter calls sternly. Raph doesn't so much as look back. He disappears down the hallway and we all hear the sound of his bedroom door slam. I hear Donnie and Mikey both take in breaths of surprise. No matter how out of hand his anger gets, Raph never ignores Master Splinter. I'm about to apologize for him, when Master Splinter sighs and turns towards us.

"My sons," he says. "That will be it for our training session for today. As you all know, Tatsuo has been ill for some time now. You will continue your training sessions with me, as you have for many years. You are dismissed, my sons." Donnie and Mikey hurry out as quickly as possible, clearly glad that they didn't get their heads severed by Raph.

"Master Splinter—" I begin, but my father cuts me off.

"Leonardo, do not feel the need to apologize for your brother."

I sigh and shake my head. "But Father—"

"My son, it is alright. Raphael takes things differently than you do; he doesn't completely understand how to control his emotions and that is alright. He will learn all in good time."

"Yes, sensei."

 **RAPH'S POV:**

I manage to sneak out of the lair without my brothers seeing, which is lucky. Or maybe they do see me; they're just too scared to say something. I sure gave them a reason to be scared, back at that training session.

I can almost picture Leo coming after me in a few minutes, shouting through the sewers, telling me to come back to the lair. I cringe when I think of him doing that, and that makes me hurry faster out of the sewers. It's dark and getting cooler, so I consider myself safe to go out.

Instead of heading all the way down and going topside through the sewer lid that we always use, I make a quick left turn, which leads to a garage where Mikey's Cowabunga Carl Van sits. On the far side of the garage sits my motorbike that Lexa bought me for Christmas. I still can't believe she did that.

Not a single part of me trusts Mikey with his so called "parallel parking", but I have no where else to put the bike besides this beat up garage.

After fixing on my Nightwatcher helmet, I take off into the night.

It isn't a regular basis, this whole 'Nightwatcher' getup. In fact, as of a year and a half ago, I'd quit it. But everyone's gotta live their dream one way or another; and this is my dream. I want to be able to save people without getting screamed at by my family or civilians. That's why I started it in the first place. Well, that and to get away for a while.

"Why am I doing this?" I mutter to myself, hearing the words echo through my helmet. To get away. I need to get away, and that's my reason. A weak reason, but a reason, nonetheless.

I ride around for a while, looking for crime. But there doesn't seem to be any—it's a peaceful night. I hate peaceful nights; it makes me feel paranoid. There shouldn't ever be such thing as a peaceful night with no problems because that just means that someone evil is planning something big.

The next thing I know, I'm sitting atop the rooftops of New York. I feel angry and I don't even have a valid reason to be.

"Ugh!" I shriek, kicking the hard cement roof. I have no other way to express my fury and there is nothing up here to throw. So with another groan, I plop onto the edge of the roof. I sit there for hours, just looking out at the night. The stupid, peaceful night. It must be about nine-thirty or so, when my Shell Cell rings. The sudden noise actually makes me jump and I almost fall off the roof.

Muttering under my breath, I pick up my cell to see that it's Mallory.

"Raph," she says, before I can even say hello. "Your family is sick looking for you."

I roll my eyes and groan. "Let 'em be," I mutter. "It ain't like they actually care."

"Oh shut up, of course they care! Splinter's worried sick, and so is Leo—"

"Leo don't give a crap about where I am. He's just Splinter's little pet and he's pretendin' he actually cares." I shake my head. "He'd barely care if I was dead."

"Raph, get off the edge of the roof right now."

"What?"

"Off. Now." I pause when she says that, and then I start to laugh. I get up and step back onto safe ground on the middle of the rooftop.

"You're a funny girl, ya know that?"

"Did you do it?"

"Of course I did," I respond, and I can't help but smile. "How'd ya know I was on the roof?"

"That's where you go when you're like this."

"I wasn't gonna jump."

"I know." She pauses. "But it's still not a safe place to be."

"Says the girl who went bungee jumping!" I say and I can almost picture her rolling her bright green eyes and throwing her head back in frustration, her red spirals of hair flailing everywhere.

"I was with Justin; I was just as safe as I would have been with you." I feel my stomach tighten. There she goes talking about Justin again. I haven't even met the guy and every time she speaks of him, my fists usually clench together and I feel a singe of angry-like emotion travel through me.

"Of course ya were..."

"What?"

"Nothin'."

I've only talked about it with Casey, since he's my best buddy. He says I'm jealous but I just laugh. I ain't jealous because I ain't got nothin' to be jealous of. I don't have any feelings for Mallory. She's just a good friend of mine; we're really similar so it's easy to talk to her. There's a weird feeling I get around her though. It can't be romantic feelings though because those are supposed to make you feel happy and peaceful, right? Well the feeling I get around Mallory isn't peaceful. I constantly get excited to see her, but I ain't happy about it. I avoid strong connections with people at all costs.

"You should be careful Raph, someone might see you."

"I've got my Nightwatcher gear on; I'll be fine."

"Nightwatcher?" She sounds angry. "Raph, you know how everyone feels about that!" Even though she can't see it, I wave my hand in dismissal.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I was just...upset. I'll come home when I come home," I promise.

She sighs and then doesn't speak for a while.

"Why were you upset?" I feel my face redden and I am suddenly glad that she isn't here to see it or else she'd be laughing her head off.

"Oh, um...just somethin' that happened during training." I pause and I know that she's going to get the story out of me one way or another. "It was nothin' really. I was just fighting against Leo and we were trying to figure out weaknesses for each other to win the fight. He said somethin' about how you were calling me on my Shell Cell and I turned around to look. He took that as an advantage and flipped me over."

"Oh..." She sounds surprised. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I mumble, shrugging my shoulders. "I ended up winnin' the fight anyway." There is a silence between the two of us, and I am thankful when she finally speaks again.

"So I'm your weakness?" she teases.

"Oh shut up," I mutter. "Don't you have a boyfriend to get back to?"

"How'd you know I was on a date?" She seems genuinely impressed.

"Where else would you be?"

She laughs.

"Well, I actually ended the date early so I could call you."

I raise my eye ridges. "Really?"

"Okay, not really," she admits, sheepishly. "I told him that I needed to call someone and now I'm standing in the kitchen." My hopes die down. Why would anyone cancel a date for me? I'm a bit disappointed that she's still on the date, but I don't let that seep into my voice.

"Well, I'd better let ya go then."

"Are you sure? I can talk a little longer."

"Positive," I mutter. "I'm sure we can talk some other time." She's quiet for a minute.

"Okay. I'll talk to you later, Raph. Please stay out of trouble."

"I ain't making any promises," I laugh. "Bye, Mal."

 **A/N: I know this chapter doesn't have much to do with the plot of the story but I just kind of felt like taking a dive into Raph's brain for a hot second. I feel like we never really know what he's thinking or how he's feeling so I thought it would be cool to show that even if it is just for a chapter(:**


	7. Hello from Death

**LEXI'S POV:**

I vaguely remember trips to the cemetery that we'd take when we were little. Mom would dress us up and bring the three of us down to the grave site and we'd look at old friends of Mom or people that we knew previously. Since most of the people that she brought us to see were people that we didn't know when they were alive, the trips were typically very boring.

But there was one trip that we went on that I never forgot. I remember so clearly that it seems like it could have happened just yesterday.

I was about ten years old and we were at the cemetery in mid-November. As the days went by, the mornings were getting colder. Mom had woken us up early to go see the grave of our Great-Grandmother King. We had never visited her grave before, so I was surprised that we were doing so then, at six in the morning.

Bundled up in warm clothes, Mom held Benj's hand and Rosalie's hand. I walked beside her and waited for her to lead us to the grave. When we arrived, Mom knelt to the ground and stared at the grave for a while. Finally, her eyes flickered to mine and she smiled a small smile. She took hold of little Benjamin's hand.

"Benjy, look...this is your Great-Grandma King," she whispered, with tears in her eyes. Benj looked at the grave and waved his hand.

"Hi, Great-Grandma." Mom's smile shone even brighter and she looked over to Rosalie.

"Rosie, this is Grandma's mother."

"I know, Mom," she said quietly, kneeling standing beside Mom. She stared at the grave respectfully and stayed quiet after that. From the corner of my eye, I could see Mom look over to me. But I couldn't look at her—something had caught my eye. It wasn't the grave—it was the headstone. There was a headstone carved to look like a beautiful crown.

She was tortured because of something that had been held against her. Her father-in-law wasn't the best man. He stole and cheated and lied and there were people that wanted to do something about it. But he passed away, as did his son...so they had none other than to hold it against Rachelle King. She was kidnapped and tortured. They finally offered to let her go, but she wouldn't leave because they said that if they let her go, they'd kidnap and torture all her closest family and friends, just like they'd done to her. And she couldn't let that happen. So she let them kill her.

Now, eight years from that day, I stand with my sister in cemetery closest to our home; the one in New York. I feel an empty hole in my heart when I remember that Benj isn't buried with anyone that we know. His grave is the first in our family to be in this New York cemetery and that makes me feel lonely for him.

Mom tells us that she has somewhere else to be, which results in a small fight between the two of us. But eventually, Rose explains to me that this is just Mom's way of coping with it.

So the two of us stand right in front of our brother's grave. Neither of us speaks. It's a peaceful silence and it's nice.

That silence is interrupted when Rose's phone rings. Although it interrupts the silence, I don't look away from the grave. She sighs softly and picks up the phone, answering it. After a few moments, she walks away and continues to talk to whoever she is speaking with. I feel a pang in the heart at the fact that she would answer to cell phone, but not give ten minutes to show respect to our dead brother.

After about five minutes, she comes back with the cell phone still in her hand. Covering the speaker, she leans in closer to me.

"That was my friend, Brevon. I'm going to go hang out with him, okay? We're going to a movie," she informs.

"What?" I hiss. "No, Rose. We already talked about this; no interruptions. We haven't even been here for five minutes." I then notice the look in her eyes. She likes this Brevon kid in a way more than friends. I bite my tongue to keep from saying something rude. She and I had talked about this too: she was going to try to avoid the whole 'romantic relationships' thing for as long as she could. Clearly, she can't wait any longer.

"Rose," I warn, seeing her pleading face. "No." She sets her jaw and goes back to her phone.

"I'll be there soon okay, Brev? Bye." When she hangs up, I notice that her expression turns from pleading, to anger. "I can't believe you're doing this."

I scoff and cross my arms. "You can't believe that _I'm_ doing this? I can't believe that _you're_ doing this! We're visiting our dead brother, for goodness sake, and you can't even go five minutes without making dinner reservations!"

"They aren't dinner reservations; we're going to see a movie!"

"Same difference!"

"We can see Benj's grave any time we want," she points out, crossing her arms.

"And you can make plans any time you want."

"And I want to right now."

"You're unbelievable. You can't even spend a few minutes to slow down that stupid life of yours and realize that there are people who don't have a life anymore! You're too selfish to realize it, Rose!" I'm shouting now.

"Oh, look who's talking! You're the one who ignored your boyfriend for three weeks just because he saved your life!" she shrieks. "You're the one that's so unappreciative about what people do for you!"

"You're a selfish brat that can't go a few months without having a boyfriend!" We both probably look crazy; two teenage girls shouting at each other as the sun is going down, at a grave site.

"Four months! I've gone four months without a boyfriend, Lexi! That's longer than you ever _had_ a boyfriend for!" she storms, and that stings.

"Oh, four months! How nice. Would you like a gold star? You're an attention-seeking—" I'm cut off by the sudden falling of a tree nearby. Rose and I both rip our glares from each other. It's a bit of a frail looking tree, but it surprises us both that it was just knocked over like that. There's a small, but firm gust of wind that blows against us.

"Benj never liked us fighting..." I whisper, swallowing. "It...it scared him."

There is a strong and screaming silence that sits among us for what seems like forever. I kneel down at the grave and sit there, staring at the tree that has fallen.

"Rose..." I say, after about five minutes. "I'm so sorry..." When there is no answer, I glance over my shoulder to see that she's gone. She has left and won't hear my apology. Even though anger is rising up in my bones that she would just sneak off like that, I try to turn myself back towards Benj's grave.

"Hey, Benjy..." I whisper, blinking back the tears that threaten to come. "It's okay. We won't fight anymore. It's okay." I feel like I'm trying to reassure myself instead of my dead brother, but that's okay too.

It's late at night and it still seems to get darker and darker. Finally, I stand up and brush my pants off from the dirt and grass. I don't know how long I have been here for, but I feel an odd sense of comfort and peace; it's almost like a hug. Benj is hugging me and he's telling me that it's going to be okay. And even though I can't see him, I know he's there.

The invisible hug is ruined when I'm grabbed from behind. It's so sudden that I don't have time to kick or scream or react. When I look to see who has grabbed me, shock overcomes me. I freeze. I feel paralyzed.

I'm looking up at a Maneuver Man.

I'm going to die.

I'm going to face my worst fear: dying after having a fight with someone that I care about. I feel the grip of the Maneuver Man tighten around my wrist and I let the tears spill from my eyes. From my other hand, I let my phone drop from my pocket. It doesn't make any sound as it crashes to the ground.


	8. And then there was all but one

**Rose's POV:**

The split second I walk into the apartment, Mom jumps up from the couch.

"Where's your sister?" she asks frantically. It takes me a moment to process her question, and once I do, I try not to show my annoyance. Of _course_ she's worrying about Lexi. She's always worrying about Lexi; Lexi is her favorite child after all.

"I don't know," I mumble. "She wasn't with me."

"She was," Mom reminds, crossing her arms. "You two went to the cemetery together hours ago."

"Well she's not with me anymore." I try to worm past my mother, but she catches me by surprise by grabbing onto my arm.

"Lexi isn't answering her phone, Rosalie." I scrunch my nose up habitually. Mom never calls me by full first name unless something is important; that's kind of something that every member of my family has taken after. Most call my sister by the nickname Lexi, but when someone was speaking of something important, they call her Alex or Alexandra. And Benj was called by Benjamin when in trouble or like Lexi and I, when someone is being serious.

"She might just have her phone turned—"

"Alex never turns her phone off." I stare at Mom for a few moments and then wriggle out of her grip. She releases and looks slightly embarrassed when she sees the thick, red fingerprint marks that are the result of her griping my arm so tightly. When I don't say anything, she continues. "I even tried to locate her phone..."

"Mom, you know that those phone locators that you've been programming don't actually work—"

"Well this one does!" she snaps. "I made sure of it. And the locator still failed." I open up my mouth, but she hurries and speaks again. "And it wasn't failure because of the device. The battery of her phone has been taken out—"

"Mom, I don't think that—"

"Stop interrupting me!" she shouts and I flinch back. Mom never yells at me; she never has until now. "If you don't care about your sister, then go to your room."

"I do care about her," I defend, crossing my arms. "I just think that you're jumping to—"

"Rosalie, it is almost midnight and not only can't I reach Lexi by calling her, but I can't locate her cell phone. Something is wrong." Her voice sounds awfully grave and I can't help but shiver at the coldness of her tone. She's making me worried; and I don't worry about Lexi all that much.

But maybe I should. I mean, she does have an entire Mutation Headquarters targeting her, filled with killer mutant soldiers...

I swallow and nod.

"What do we do?"

Mom sighs, but visibly relaxes the slightest bit. She's glad that I'm not going to fight her on this.

"I want you to go get the turtles."

* * *

"We've tried to get a locator on her phone for hours now," Mom explains, shaking her head. "We haven't been able to get anything."

"And the only way that you wouldn't be able to get a locator on a phone that's turned on is by taking the battery out. Or destroying the phone all together," Noah explains, crossing his arms and looking at all of us.

For someone who is woken up at one in the morning, Noah looks pretty wide awake. Besides his wrinkled plaid button up and his messed up hair, he's alert and ready for action. I wouldn't have expected it any different though; considering the fact that he was informed through the phone that Lexi had gone missing and we couldn't locate her phone, I'm surprised that he even remembered to put his pants on.

"Rosalie." I turn towards who is addressing me—Master Splinter. "You seem to have been the last individual to have seen Alexandra. Where were you when you saw her last?" Even though this is Master Splinter and he'd never want to wish pain upon me, his reminder that I was the last person to see my sister doesn't really make me feel too great.

"We were at the local cemetery..." I say softly, looking at my hands. "We...we got into a fight and then I just stormed off without her knowing." I don't want to give the details on the argument, although I know that Mom will ask me about it later; long after this is all over.

"Then that's where we'll start," Noah decides, grabbing his keys from the table. "We're going to the cemetery."

Halfway over there, Noah must have seen the worried expression on my face. He reaches over—one hand off the wheel—and encloses his hand in mine just for a few seconds. He glances over at me enough to be of comfort, but not completely take his eyes off of the road.

"Lexi'll be okay, Rose. Trust me, I known her for thirteen years; she'll find a way out and if not, then she'll find a way to warn us." He pauses. "And don't you dare blame yourself for this, because I know that that thought has been somewhere in that pretty little head of yours." I blush and look down for a moment, at our enclosed hands. He suddenly releases his hand from mine and puts it back on the wheel.

"Okay," I begin, as I guide everyone. "This...this was where we were." Eventually, we are standing over the grave of my brother.

Mostly everyone is staring at Benj's grave, just reminiscing. I decide to pay my respects as well (since I'd done a poor job at it earlier tonight), and I turn back towards the grave. There is a fresh bundle of forget-me-nots, wrapped together in tissue paper and lies down right under his grave. Next to the flowers, hangs a note. My curiosity leaks into my nosiness and before I know it, I'm reading the note.

 _Benj,_

 _I don't want to make this note too long or too emotional because I know that eventually, winds will blow and rain will fall and this piece of paper will become nothing more but a scrap that blows in the wind, making its way as litter on the streets. Yet at the same time, I know you'll read this. It may sound crazy, but I believe what Mom says about the Spirit World: it's here on Earth. I always thought that was kind of cool, and lately, I'm kind of scared about it. You're probably really annoyed at the amount of times I snoop around in your room and you can't really do anything about it because I can't see you. But I know you're there; groaning exasperatedly and trying to push me out._

 _I don't completely understand what you told me about Rose on the night you died. I'm kind of hoping that I'll learn to understand though. And maybe I do understand...I'm just scared because I know what you meant. And I'll try to fulfill the duty that you gave me, even though sometimes, I really don't want to._

 _I love you, Benj. Take care._

 _Love,_

 _Lexi_

Rose? What did he tell her about me? I suddenly wonder a thousand questions at a time. The note is taken out of my hands. My face flushes red from embarrassment at the snooping side of me, but I recover when I see that Mom is starting to read it too.

After she finishes reading, I catch a flash of emotion, and then she gently places it back on the ground, attaching it back to the bundle of flowers. Her face goes stern again and she starts to look around.

"There must be something..." she trails, and then she pauses and rests her hand on her face for a minute, deep in thought. My eyes trail the ground. They catch sight of something: a dark object lying in the dirt.

I bend down on my knees and quickly brush off the dirt and grass.

It's Lexi's phone.

"Oh my gosh..." Mallory whispers, getting down next to me and snatching the phone out of my hands. I inwardly sigh and slightly move away from her. Mallory has always been a rough girl. But she just really cares about Lexi; I mean, they have been best friends for six years now. In fact, Mallory seems to be showing more emotion that I am. And it's actually starting to bug me now.

"Her phone..." Mom mumbles. "Quick, check and see if it's turned on." But the order is unnecessary; Mom is already pressing down on the switch. We wait a few moments. Nothing. She presses it again. Waiting. Nothing. Mallory turns the phone over. The place where the battery should be is vacant.

"Search the ground for the battery," Mallory orders, and everyone gets down off their feet, brushing against the dirt and grass.

"Found it!" Someone calls, and before I can figure out who it is, the battery is tossed to Mallory. She slides it back into the phone—a little rougher than needed—but she gets it into the phone. We wait a few moments, and then the phone turns on.

Everyone lets out a relieved breath. The lock screen comes up.

"Shoot..." I mutter, seeing that she has a passcode. But Mallory quickly types in four-digits and the home screen appears. "Wait...how did you...?" I don't finish my question. Of course Mallory knows what Lexi's passcode to her phone is. They're best friends. It kind of makes me a little upset. I have best friends, but I don't trust any of them with the password to my cell phone.

Mallory goes through a few of the apps, as if there will be any clues.

"Check her photos," Leo suggests so quietly that I don't think I'm actually hearing his voice. Everyone turns towards him. "I said check the photos. It wouldn't hurt any. You never know; we might actually find something." Mallory instantly clicks onto the photo album and gasps.

"He's right..." she exclaims. "There is something! A video!"

"A video?" Raph, Casey and Mikey all ask. "Of what?"

From a downward view, we can see Lexi. Someone has a grip on her arm. Mom and I both gasp. It's a Maneuver Man. A Maneuver Man has her arm. Mallory breaks into a sob. As surprised as I am to hear that, I can't take my eyes away from the screen. But from the corner of my eye, I can see Raph slowly embracing Mallory into a hug as she continues to cry. As far as we know, there is no escaping a Maneuver Man. As soon as you get into the grip of one, you die.

Although I can't look at Mallory, I instantly think of Mom. I turn to glance over at her: she has tears in her eyes too, but there is a different emotion beneath that. I am itching to know what emotion it us, but I know that I could sit here for days and not decipher it. So I turn back to the screen.

On the screen, Lexi cries out and starts to sob as she realizes that she's about to die by the exact same thing that killed our younger brother. And it's happening right beside his grave too.

She falls to the ground. Mallory lets out another heart-wrenching sob and Raph tightens his grip around her. I feel the tears finally stream down my face as I look at my lifeless sister. From the corner of my eye, I see Noah and Donnie both peer closer.

"Wait," They both say in unison. "She's not dead. She's breathing." It would have been funny, how they're both thinking and saying the exact same thing, if it weren't for the situation we're in now.

"What?" Mallory sniffles, looking back up at the screen. I gasp: they're right. She's still breathing.

"Do you think she was playing dead?" Mikey asks, tilting his head. He sounds curious, but very grateful that we have a lead that doesn't take us to the death of my sister.

"No," Donnie says, shaking his head. "You can't release yourself from a Maneuver Man's grip unless you're killed..." He pauses. "Or unless you fainted."

"Let's hope that it's that last one," April says.

"Wait a minute..." Raph interrupts, cocking an eye ridge. "Doesn't a Maneuver Man have an iron grip? How could her fainting make it release her?" Noah grimaces and glances over at Donnie.

"Well...in normal situations, the Maneuver Man would let the victim go limp and because of the weight of the victim, it's arm or wrist would detach from his or her body as they fell." He pauses. "But these guys seem to want Lexi alive."

"Guys, look!" Mikey points. "Something's happening!" The film begins flickering from black and white static. It keeps getting worse and worse until the screen goes black.

"Maneuver Men...they can control cameras and devices...they can't move if something is watching them..." Mom whispers, shaking her head.

"But that doesn't make any sense," I speak up. "Aren't they able to determine right away whether or not there's a camera watching them?"

"They're smart, but they aren't as smart as a lot of the mutants are."

"What do you mean?"

"Clearly, since the phone was on the ground, they didn't see it until later. But when they did, they did something about it and somehow got the battery out of the phone...but they couldn't delete the video," Noah explains.

"Wait," Mallory sniffles. "So...so Lexi isn't dead?"

"To be honest, I'm pretty much 90% sure that she's still alive. Why else would they not kill her right on the spot?" Noah responds, smiling a little bit. And I can't help but smile too at his hope.

"But what if after they saw the camera, that's when they killed her?" April panics, biting her knuckles.

"We're not going to go off of the 'what ifs' unless they're positive ones," Leo decide glancing over at Noah. "We've got a great lead. A hopeful one. That's all we need to be able to find Lexi."

 **LEXI'S POV:**

Every inch of my body aches. My head is throbbing and my body from shoulders down, feels like I have just run a 3-day marathon. Twice. Even my eyes are sore and I can't even open them. I lie there and listen to the silence for a while.

Silence.

Cold air.

Where am I?

After finally wrenching open my eye lids, I suddenly wish that I had never woken up.

I'm in a cell; and right outside my cell is another cell. In that other cell sits a girl I know too well, yet not at all.

Laney.

I scream and for the second time, I faint.

* * *

My headache is gone when I wake up, but I'm shivering. My arms and legs are covered in goose bumps and my face feels icy from the cold, hard ground. I'm surprised that I hadn't hit my head when I fainted. I don't dare look up again.

"Oh, Lexi..." A voice sings, and I squeeze my eyes shut tighter. Maybe if I ignore her, then she'll go away. She'll just get bored of no reaction, and just fade back into the corner of her cell.

Biggest lie I've ever told myself.

"Oh Lexi," she repeats.

I bite my tongue to keep from saying anything. I'm still shivering but I don't think it's from the cold anymore. Now, I'm feeling a different kind of cold.

I hear her move closer and I can just picture her small, fragile hands resting; fingers curled around the bars that separate our cells. Somehow, I have completely forgotten what she looks like. Well, not completely. I remember her face; just nothing else.

"Lexi. I know you're in there; I know you're awake."

"Then why don't you leave me alone?" I gasp at myself. I don't plan on responding to her. I'm surprised. But what I am more surprised about is how sturdy my voice sounds. I swallow and bite my tongue even harder, hoping that that will devote some self-control and that I won't feel tempted to blurt something out again.

"See? There you are." I stay silent and I hear another sigh. "Lexi..." She pauses and I can picture a small little grin resting on her face. "Your family is worried sick about you." I feel a lump in my throat as she says that. Of course they are.

I feel my eyes begin to tear up, but I don't reach up to wipe them because then she will know that I'm crying. With my eyes still tightly shut, I turn completely away from where her voice is coming from. Not only do I not want to see her, but I don't want to face her.

"All of them; even that little boy blue of yours. Oh how he's so blue." Is she talking about Leo? I don't ask. Instead, I feel the tears torrent down my face even faster. I haven't spoken to him properly in a long time. He must think that I hate him. Sure, I've opened up to him more than usual...but I'm still not as open as I could be. And I will probably never see him again.

I can't help but sniffle, and then I hear that nasty voice of hers again.

"Oh, are you crying?" she asks softly. "I'm sorry." I bite my tongue even harder; so hard that I'm sure it's going to split in two. Finally, I reach up and wipe my face of the tears. I can't say anything to her; she'll somehow find a way to get into my mind. I know that she will.

"Lexi—" I'm sick of hearing my name come out of her mouth.

"Stop saying my name," I snap, and I really can't help but continue. "Why can't you just leave me alone? Be nice and leave me alone." Laney is silent for a few moments and then sighs once more.

"I'm never nice. But if you want, I can tell you about a nice girl." I don't answer, so she continues. Not like she wouldn't have if I'd spoken up.

"Her name was Laney," she begins. "Just like me. I was actually named after her. Delaney Albright. She was a nice girl; pretty too. Delaney loved to draw and she loved to read. She had books and shelves of them; everywhere. Delaney also liked to talk to people. She had lots of friends; she was friends with everybody. She loved her life." Laney pauses. "But Delaney had fears too. She was afraid of swimming; she couldn't swim no matter how hard she tried."

I want to cover my ears.

"One day, Laney was at a friend's house. Her friend really wanted her to go swimming, but Delaney refused. Finally, she agreed to just go down to the pool; not go in. That was good enough for her friend. So while her friend played in the pool, Delaney sat in a chair and laughed and talked with her." She pauses again. "But guess what, Lexi? Stories aren't happy. Happy endings are pretend."

I cover my ears, but I can still hear her as clear as day.

"Her friend needed to use the bathroom. So she got out of the pool and headed back into the house. But someone was waiting for her. She died."

I don't want to hear this. I want to open my eyes and beg her to not continue. I don't want to hear the rest.

"So you wanna know what happened to Laney?" I can't speak. "Well I'll tell you. Delaney was just sitting out in the chair peacefully...when she started to get worried. Her friend wasn't back from the bathroom yet. So Laney stood up and started to go into the house. But someone pushed her. She hit her head on the edge of the pool...and down into the pool she went. I wish I could say that she died, but she didn't." I let out a breath of relief. "Oh but don't worry, like I said: happy endings are pretend."

"Please...stop..." I whisper, covering my ears tighter and squeezing my eyes so tightly that I feel that they'll become glued that way.

"The person that pushed her had a super power. She could put bad people into somebody's head and then the bad person would become the body. And that's exactly what she did." She pauses and I can picture her grinning. " _I'm_ Delaney Albright."

I feel like I should've seen it coming, but I hadn't.

I want to faint again, but I can't.

I want to keep my eyes covered and my back towards her...but I won't.

My eyes open and I glance over my shoulder at Laney.

She isn't as scary as I remember her, but she still frightens me so much.

I bite the inside of my cheek and feel myself come closer to the intersection of our two cells.

I'm not afraid anymore.

* * *

"So you're possessing her?" I ask, leaning back onto the hard wall.

"Yes, in a form. You don't seem so scared anymore; why not?" She sounds disappointed, yet curious at the same time.

"I've always wanted to meet a demon."

"No, seriously."

I look down at my hands. "I know that you can't get to me if I don't let you. You can't take me over unless I'm afraid of you; and I'm not." I hear her laugh. I clench my fists together. She's laughing a laugh that isn't even hers. She's wearing skin that isn't even hers. There's an innocent girl trapped inside of that body.

"Oh, but I _can_ take you over. I can."

"No, you can't. Not unless I let you."

"I can persuade you that I can."

"Eventually."

"And then I can take you over."

"Long, _long_ , after that eventually."

Laney stares at me for a minute and then smiles. She leans back like I am, and looks off into space.

"You're a good one. I think I'll keep you."

There is a pit of silence.

"It's odd," Laney mumbles. "The things she says."

"Who?"

"Delaney," she responds and I freeze. That's right; when a person is possessed, usually the person being controlled is still awake—she just can't control it.

"May I talk to Laney?" I ask.

"I am Laney."

"Delaney," I correct. "May I talk to Delaney?" Laney stares at me some more and then finally, after what seems like hours, she shakes her head. I scrunch my eyebrows and tilt my head. "Why not?"

"Because that may give her more power and we don't want that now do we?"

"I do. Let me talk to the girl."

"No," Laney repeats, leaning back again. Neither of us speaks. There is a long silence that seems slow motion. Now, hours do pass by.

"Why are you locked up?" I ask. She doesn't even acknowledge me. It's as if she doesn't hear me. Although I know that she does. I sigh and cross my arms tightly around my chest. I wish that I had worn a coat to the cemetery.

More time passes by. Eventually, she's the one to speak.

"Do you really think that they're going to find you?" she asks. "Honestly. Are they that smart?" I don't know why she's asking the question. Maybe she's going to report my answer to the RBMC and they'll make it harder to find me. Or maybe she's going to plan on killing me right here, right now and just wants to ask a question to distract me.

Or maybe she really is curious.

"The question is, do they _want_ to find me?"

Laney stares at me. "Well do they?"

I'm silent for a few minutes, thinking. Then, I finally open my mouth again.

"I don't even know anymore."


	9. Trades

Considering that I'm being held captive in a place meant for mutant killers, I'm being treated really well. Okay, not really treated well, but well enough. They provide me with food three times a day, although most of the food that they give me is stale and they provide me with only the smallest portions possible.

Sometimes, my cell will be too cold and sometimes it's too stuffy. But I am too afraid to tell anyone about it. I doubt that they would change it anyway.

They never provide me with the time of day, or the date for that matter. I wake up when I wake up and that's it. Although by the bitterly plain taste in my mouth, I assume that it has been a few days. I don't feel too great.

I haven't spoken much to Laney. She mostly just sits there and mumbles to herself or stares at the wall. I make sure to stay as far away from her as I can.

The door begins to open up. I cover my eyes with my hands, preparing to prevent myself from behind blinded by the sudden light. It's practically pitch black in here and they never do anything about that. I'm sure that if I ever get out of this place, I'll be blinded for life.

The door does open though. And in walk two mutants.

One of the mutants is gray and looks like a very old and ugly mutated snake. Its facial features are scrunched up with wrinkles and its right eye is twitching. The second mutant is big and bulky and reminds me somewhat of a big red bull on two legs.

They rip open my prison cell and the gray one latches onto my arm. They both escort me out of the cell room and into the darkness. My heart is thumping inside my chest so hard that I am positive the entire building can hear it. The gray mutant's hands are bitter and frosty against my one arm, and the bull's are scorching hot on my other arm. It reminds me of the whole 'cell temperature' situation all over again.

I continue to fear that I will trip over something, but it doesn't seem like there is anything to trip on beside my own feet. The ground feels bare. So I continue to walk forward (not like I have a choice anyway) and eventually, we reach a stopping point. The bull reaches out and opens up a door, shoving me inside. They shut the door with a loud slam and I find myself looking straight ahead at a table.

On one side of the table sits a man with goggles and frizzy hair; appearing to be the exact stereotypical mad scientist. Across from him sits my worst nightmare.

"Alexandra King," Melinda Crespo hisses, her mouth strings into a straight line. I feel myself reach out to grip onto something, but there is nothing to grip onto. So I reach for the wall. It's bare, but it's something to hold my weight onto. Sitting next to Melinda is none other than Sullivan.

"Don't worry Lexi—" The scientist-looking man begins, making me grimace. I hate how much these people that I don't even know feel that they have the authority to call me by that name. "My name is Russell Burgess and I'm the 2nd in charge of the RBMC." Second in charge? But he's the first in charge...why is he lying?

I catch a smirk from Melinda's face. Do they know something about this? They don't seem too surprised. But as if sensing my confusion, Russell smiles and continues.

"The person in charge will show herself to you eventually, don't worry. But for now, we need to gather some information from you." I inwardly snort. Right; like they're going to get any information from me. I'm probably going to make a fresh comment, but I bite my tongue to prevent it. Instead, I flicker my eyes from the open chair, back to Burgess. He understands immediately, and motions to the chair.

"Please, have a seat."

I do.

"Now," he begins, leaning forward. "We just need you to tell us a little about your mutant friends." I stare at him, blinking. I don't say anything. "Lexi—"

"Don't call me that," I snap, crossing my arms tightly around my chest. All I want is to be back in my cell right now. I'd much rather be sitting there in the almost complete darkness, in either the freezing cold or boiling heat, rather than here, staring at these people.

Russell looks perplexed.

"Would you rather I call you something else? From the information I've gathered, Lexi is your most common address," he says, and I can't help but snort at that.

"From the information you've gathered..." I mutter, glaring up at him. "I'm called Lexi; just not by psychopaths." Before I can handle, I am pinned down against the table by Melinda. I'm surprised; it's usually Sullivan to do the dirty work.

"You will show respect to Dr. Burgess, do you understand, Alexandra?" she hisses and I bite my lip. My neck feels like it's going to snap right off and I know that I can't nod as a response, for that exact reason. So I simply croak a "Yes." She lets go after a moment and I straighten back up. For some reason, her calling me Alexandra isn't that bad. At least she isn't trying to adapt a bond that will never happen.

"You don't look too hot yourself," Sullivan grumbles. Of course I don't; I have been locked up in a cell for who knows how long!

"Alexandra, we will not hesitate to kill you," Melinda threatens.

"Then why haven't you?"

She doesn't respond; she just shoots me a sick glare. She can't kill me; because they need me for the help of finding the turtles. I almost laugh at the thought of that. I'll never in a million years give away the location of the turtles.

"Now, Melinda," Burgess soothes. "It's alright, we don't need answers right—"

"Listen, old man," she storms. "For months we've been trying to find these filthy mutants and now we have the chance to. We can get it out of her."

"Yes we can," he responds slowly. "But not right away."

"We can beat her; hurt her! Your stupid old 'patience' ways aren't going to do the trick. She is a human, not a mutant; she can't be trained to tell us our information. But we can make her." The way she says this gives me shivers. "Your ways are stupid."

 _Well so much for following your own advice on respecting the guy..._ I think, mentally shaking my head. This girl is some hypocrite.

But that isn't what scares me. What scares me is that Burgess looks like he's considering it. I hold my breath, hoping and praying that he won't go with that Melinda is saying.

"We've had her here for four days." Four days. "And she hasn't been easy to get any answers out of. If you truly do feel like your methods will work better..." I freeze and my heart stops. No. No! I want to shout for him to please just not give in, but I can't.

"They will," she promises.

"Alright. Take her away." Melinda reaches over and forces me to stand up. She gathers both of my hands and pulls out some thick, rugged rope from her pocket. She binds my hands together behind my back. Burgess looks somewhat sympathetic.

"I'm sorry," he says, shaking his head. "My only hope is that you give in before they hurt you too badly." Before they hurt me too badly. Thanks, old man.

I'm roughly led out of the room and back into the utter darkness of the hallway.


	10. Change

**LEO'S POV:**

The past few days have consisted of three things: worrying, napping, and watching Donnie and Noah mess around with technology. And honestly, the last one is the only thing that seems to be getting us anywhere. It has been five days and we still don't have more than a lead. And if we do, Donnie and Noah aren't telling us about it. But I think that we're all pretty confident that they know what they're doing; so all we really do is wait for them to bring something up, and we'll try to go from there.

"Leo, can you pass me a water bottle please?" Rose asks from beside Noah.

I nod and stand up to head into the kitchen, where the cold water bottles are. Throughout the five nonstop days crammed in the King's apartment, working on a way to find Lexi, we have learned a lot about each other; small things, that we probably wouldn't have known before. For instance, Rose prefers refrigerated water. I never would have known that before.

But I do in fact know that Lexi prefers her water room-temperature. She doesn't like the freezing feeling down her throat because it stops her from consuming as much as she wants. With room-temperature water, she can chug a water bottle within seven seconds. It's a pointless fact, but it's nice to know. Pointless facts are always nice to know (Donnie sure has a lot of them).

As I walk through the doorway of the kitchen, I get a sudden shock of memory. I remember the night that Lexi and I announced to everyone that we were dating. Walking towards the refrigerator, I can almost smell the heavenly food that Lexi had been cooking that day. I feel a pain in my heart when I remember the kiss that we shared right before she left the kitchen. Instead of hurrying out of the kitchen, I stay there to savor the pain before the moment leaves.

Rose doesn't bother to mention that I had taken a long time in the kitchen. She simply thanks me for the water bottle and hurries on to open it.

About an hour later, Noah and Donnie are ready to reveal their thoughts.

"Okay," Donnie begins, gripping onto the sheet that covers a machine. "I present to you...the Shifter. Aka; the way my brothers and I are going to sneak into the headquarters."

"Explain what it does, please," Rose says, leaning against the table. Donnie glances over at Noah and nods.

"Okay, so with much, much technology..."

"Some which may or may not have been legal..." Donnie continued.

"We've built a machine that—"

"Travels through time?" Mikey guesses, his eyes lighting up with excitement. I chuckle. Ever since Lexi introduced us all to Doctor Who, time travel has been in all of our dreams.

"No," Donnie says, opening his mouth to continue. "It's—"

"A machine that makes you look younger? 'Cause Raph could use one of those!" Mikey interrupts again. Raph's eyes flare with anger as he whacks our baby brother upside the head.

"No," Noah says. "It—"

"Plucks your eyebrows?" Mikey asks and Raph grabs Mikey's shoulders and shakes his aggressively. I give my youngest brother a perplexed look.

"You don't have any eyebrows to pluck, Mikey," I point out and he rubs his arm, where Raph has just stopped hitting him two seconds ago.

"Who said it was supposed to be for me?" he mumbles.

"It's a machine that can turn us human." Donnie rushes through his words so that Mikey won't disrupt again. "Through a lot of hard work and blueprints, we've discovered a way to—"

"Aw man!" Mikey complains, snapping his fingers. "I was gonna guess that next!"

"Stop interrupting!" Donnie shrieks and Raph whacks the orange-clad brother upside the head again.

"Ow! Stop hitting me!"

"Stop being a knucklehead, knucklehead!" Raph retorts, turning back to Donnie. Donnie—who looks grateful for once at Raph's violence—continues to explain further.

"I don't want to get into the specifics because even I don't know for sure how the technology works; and that's a first because I tend to like to break down every how, what and why. But all you need to know is that this machine is designed to give any mutant human qualities." He pauses and turns towards Mikey. "So to break it down for you: it's a Human Machine."

Mikey grins.

"Aww, sweet! So it produces humans?" He pauses. "Can you make it give us a hot girl?" Raph hits him again.

"No, it turns us human," Donnie corrects.

"Okay, now why do we need to be human again? You know...besides the fact that without it, we can't live a normal life?" I say, leaning on the wall. Mostly everyone is sitting down except for Donnie and Noah, since it's early in the morning and everyone wants to rest. But that's a habit of mine: standing. I'm afraid that if I sit down, I will miss some time to fight if someone breaks through the window.

"Look, we've located the Headquarters and we've also located the second in command: Rachel Bennett." As soon as Donnie says that name, Emmeline's head pops up. She looks alert, and slightly wary.

"How...how did you get that information?" she demands and Donnie looks confused at her sudden alertness.

"Oh," he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. "Which information?"

"The name," she says. "How did you get the name?"

"Oh, well we've just kind of done a lot of research—"

"Mom, why does it matter anyway? If it helps us get to Lexi, then why are you complaining about it?" Rose asks and Emmeline narrows her eyes at her daughter. But seconds later, she straightens back up and shakes her head.

"It doesn't," she says. "It doesn't matter. Donnie, please continue." She still looks tense though, and we can all see that. We choose to ignore it, or pretend to ignore at least.

"Right," he says slowly. "Anyway, once we turn ourselves human, they'll have no way of telling that it's us. We'll use the advantage of knowing about Rachel Bennett, and we'll say that she sent us to pick up a prisoner; this prisoner will be Lexi."

"Wait, if Rachel's only second in command, then how do we know that he'll give her to us?" Raph asks.

"We've also done our research on Burgess," Noah explains, chuckling. "He may be insane, but he isn't dangerous; at least, not in the same way as, say, the Dark Angels or the Foot Clan. If he has a co-worker, he works with that co-worker. Think of him like a really smart mad-scientist, but he lets people often take advantage of his work and he isn't really a...bad guy. He's just a psychopath."

"Kinda like Donnie!" Mikey jokes, standing up and making his way over to the machine, reaching over and patting it. "So, why don't we try this bad boy and see how he works?"

"We tried it last night," Noah says, glancing over at Donnie. "It works alright. It turns you completely human."

"For how long?" I feel slightly wary about this. "Is there a time limit or something?"

"Yeah." Donnie nods. "There's actually a watch that comes with it; you put on the watch and set a time for how long you'd like the human form to last for. We couldn't manage to get it over five hours, though. So once your watch battery juice is up, you gotta bring it back to this big ol' beauty here." He pats the machine. "And put the watches in the chargers. But here's the thing: if you don't get it back to the machine within a half hour, the watches stop working. Poof: months and months of hard work and blueprints down the drain."

"Okay," Raph begins. "Let me get this straight: we got watches and we put them on. As soon as we put them on, then we're human...?"

"No," Noah says. "You put the watch on and then you set it to the amount of hours you need to be human for. Then, while touching the machine with the opposite hand of which you put the watch on, you wait and we flip the switch on. After about ten seconds, you've been transformed. We'll eventually get to the point where you won't have to be touching this big machine to get the watches to work, but it'll take a while to develop that kind of technology."

"I don't know what all this talking is for! I volunteer as tribute!" Mikey exclaims, reaching his arm out to Donnie. "Beautify me, brother." Donnie rolls his eyes and takes hold of one of the watches labeled Mikey, and begins to place it on the orange-clad turtle.

"Wait, but won't it be kind of dangerous?" I ask. "I mean, without our shells and weapons and everything."

"We'll still carry our weapons," Donnie insists. "But I don't think we'll need them, if our plan goes through. But just for safety purposes, we'll carry them with us in a belt-sheath; hidden unless we need them."

"Come on bro, I'm not getting any younger here! But in a few seconds, I'll have ladies lined up beside me asking where on Earth I get my good looks from," Mikey says and Raph rolls his eyes.

Donnie takes Mikey's other hand and places it on the machine. "Wait, won't I be naked?"

"No, we've got clothes installed into the machine. Trust me; I wouldn't make everyone have to see that." That's the last thing Donnie says before there is a bright flash and suddenly, standing in front of us, is Mikey. Human Mikey.

"What do I look like? Am I hot or am I hot?" he asks, striking a pose. He looks down at his clothes; a pair of jeans and an orange shirt with a thick black stripe against his chest.

"I tried to make the clothes the colors of our bandanas, since we won't be needing them in this form. And this is in fact how Mikey would probably look as a human; can you believe it's him?" Donnie says, raising his eye ridges, clearly proud of himself.

I can believe it's him; it looks just like I would have pictured Mikey as a human.

He has short dark blonde hair and blue eyes. His freckles are more noticeable now that he has human skin.

"Man, I look good!" Mikey shrieks into the mirror that Noah has handed up. Mikey grins and turns towards the rest of us. "Well? What are you guys waiting for?"

"I ain't goin' next," Raph mutters, shaking his head. "I'll go after Leo."

"Well I'm not going next."

"You two are wimps! Donnie'll go next. Here Don; I'll put the watch on you and flip the machine switch with my new humany wumany hands," Mikey says and I chuckle at his use of the Doctor Who phrase 'humany wumany'. Donnie grimaces and hands the watch to Noah.

"Mikey I don't trust you," Donnie says. After Noah flips the switch, Donnie is transformed too. I bet that all of our eyes look like flying saucers. This whole "seeing my brothers as humans" thing will need some getting used to.

Donnie is still tall, and he's wearing a pair of dark jeans and a dark purple T-Shirt. He has a medium length hair cut with brown hair and hazel eyes. He honestly doesn't look like I'd expected, but the look really fits him **(A/N: Picture Sam Winchester in season one of Supernatural).**

"I'll go next..." Raph mutters, stepping by Donnie. Donnie picks up the watch with Raph's name on it and slides it onto his wrist. Moments later, Raph is changed too.

Wearing a dark red shirt, dark leather jacket and dark jeans, he now has short brown hair and green eyes.

I'm the last to go.

Noah hands me a mirror. I can already see that I'm wearing a short sleeve navy blue shirt with a black jacket and some dark jeans.

My eyes widen at how different I look. I have short, brown hair and light-green eyes, which are similar enough to my original hazel ones **(A/N: Picture him as Stefan Salvatore from Vampire Diaries)**

Looking around at my brothers, I realize how vulnerable we all look without our shells and without our weapons. It's almost scary. I know that we'll have our weapons with us, but the thought that we could be defeated easier kind of frightens me.

"Well," Mikey laughs, clapping his hands together. "We sure look good. Maybe we can just mosey our way through their Headquarters with our incredibly good looks."

Nobody laughs.

 **A/N: Okay yes yes yes I definitely just did the most STEREOTYPICAL TMNT FANFICTION THING TO DO: made the human machine. You've seen it before, I'm sure, especially if you're a TMNT fanfiction veteran like me. But I literally couldn't find ANY easier way to get them to be able to sneak into the Headquarters (not to mention, low-key, I've always wanted to describe the turtles as humans, so umm dream come true, I guess). Picture them however you'd like to, obviously. This is just the way I chose to describe them.**

 **Sorry if my descriptions of the turtles in human form don't fit your descriptions. If that's the case, then please just think of a different way to describe them. It doesn't really alter the story that much, so just picture them how you'd picture them.**

 **As always, I love you guys - thank you for reading!**


	11. By a Thread

Pain lingers in every point of my body. My wrists are sore from the chains that string me to the wall, as are my feet. My stomach feels like it has been sliced into pieces, due to the amount of times they've hit me. And my neck feels like it's barely hanging by a string. Overall, miserable is an understatement. I'm dying.

My favorite time of the day is when they leave me hanging by my chains, slamming the heavy door behind them. They usually leave me like that for a few hours, telling me to think about whether or not I will cooperate next time they come in. It's my favorite time of the day simply because it's the only time they aren't hurting me, emotionally or physically.

I prefer the RBMC; and that says a lot. Compared to here, the Mutant Headquarters run by that psychopath scientist seems like Heaven. Here, they don't feed me at all. I haven't gotten any water or food and it's seldom that I get any sleep, hanging by chains all day, everyday.

Overall, it's exactly how I would have pictured the Dark Angels Headquarters. Cruel, raw, and merciless. The only thing that they do give me is the time and date. Every time they come and visit me (visit is hardly the word for it), they provide me with the date and time of the day. Of course, it isn't for the right reasons. They do it to torment me; to try to convince me that I won't be rescued.

The sound of the heavy, bolted door to my cell has become my worst nightmare. So naturally, when I hear it opening, I automatically cringe and stare at the floor. I hear footsteps walk in and my heart begins to quicken.

I feel someone grab my chin and thrust it upwards. I'm staring at Melinda Crespo. After a few moments of her eyes staring down at me, she reaches up and punches my nose. I scrunch my nose up to try and cope with the pain. Tears stream down my face from the sting of it, and I have to bite my tongue to avoid letting out a cry.

I had been wrong about Melinda Crespo. There are things that even our Headquarters doesn't know. Melinda is supposedly the serpent of the pack; but she never does the dirty work; never hurts anybody with her own hands. That's an error in our data work. She's the worst of them all.

If I ever get out alive, I will sure have a lot of new, accurate information to give to the Headquarters.

"Have you thought about it?" Melinda asks me, her eyes narrowing, as if she's daring me to speak. I don't. So she kicks me in the stomach; not that she wouldn't have if I had responded.

"You know," Melinda says, backing away and staring at the wall. "You know, you really can't win this. You can fight and rebel all you want, King. The result will always be the same." She pauses. "You can fight. You may even die trying. But you will never win."

It's barely an internal punch.

"And your little friends." She pauses again. "They aren't coming for you. They don't even know where you are."

"They'll figure it out," I croak. Big mistake.

Melinda turns back to me and before I can blink, there is another pain in my stomach. Her face is expressionless, and she begins slowly walking towards the wall, just to give herself something to do.

"But they won't," she says. "And even if they do, there's absolutely no possible way that we could miss four large ugly mutants. It's impossible not to notice them." I bite my lip—which has split and is bleeding.

She's right; at least about that. It's hard not to notice four large green mutants just waltzing in.

"Or do you think that they'll somehow find a way to sneak right on in? Do you actually believe that they're capable of that?" Melinda asks, her dark eyes boring into mine. I don't respond and she kicks my stomach again.

"Your silence will get you no where."

"Talking won't either, so I don't really know where your issue lies in the matter," I retort and she slaps me, surely leaving a bright red hand print on my cheek.

"Nor will sass," she hisses and I nod my head the best I can.

"That's why I'm sticking with silence," I respond and she glares at me, kicking me in the stomach again. I'm sure that all this abuse is going to affect my health for a long, long time. Maybe even permanently.

"Well you aren't doing a very good job at it," she observes, crossing her arms. "So what is it about those mutant friends of yours? Are they clever? Are they strong? Are the determined? Smart? All of the above?"

"You missed a trait or two."

"You aren't very good at this 'staying silent' thing."

I didn't respond.

"You're never getting out of here. And if you do, it's sure not physically." I know what she means. I'm going to die in here; or at least that's what she thinks. But I know that I won't. The turtles...my family...they'll find me right? I'm positive that they are searching for me right now.

But six days. I have been missing for six days. And it has been two days since I was transported into this persecution. Have they given up? Simply buried a bodiless grave and claimed me to be dead; gone forever?

No. No, they don't give up. They'd never give up on anyone...but will they give up on me?

I try to push the negative thoughts aside and think about everyone I didn't give a reason to hate me.

Mom. She's my mother; of course she will do everything in her power to find me.

Rose. Even though we fight (a lot), I love her and she loves me. We're sisters and I'm pretty positive that despite any fights we have, she'll never stop looking until Mom stops looking.

Mallory. She's my best friend and one heck of a fighter. She's determined and strong and always has been. She'll probably still look for me even after she's down in her grave. And likely, she'll find me.

The turtles. Despite the fact that the past couple of weeks I haven't been too kind to them, the last few days before I disappeared, almost everything had been almost back to normal. Raph was back to teasing me and Mikey was back to his prankster self. My bond with Donnie never really left.

But Leo. Will he forgive me for all I'd done to so desperately push him away? I love him still, but I don't know if he knows that. Does he still love me? Even after I've constantly and persistently shown no positive care for him, when really I'm just scared?

I don't realize that Melinda has been kicking and punching me. I'm far too lost in the thought of Leo to notice; nor do I care. She's shouting in my face and I can feel her spit fly from her mouth as she screams in rage. But I manage to tune almost everything she's saying out.

Leo. Come on, Lexi. Think about Leo. Think about all the memories you have with him. Remember when you first met him? You were so scared because you woke up and you thought that you had left your katanas at the fight; but you were so relieved when Leo came in and he handed you your katanas. He had said that he knew how it would feel to lose his weapon.

And remember the time when you went shopping with all the turtles? You had barely known anything about Leo at the beginning of the day, and by the end, you both acted like you were best friends. You even started a cute little show with him: the Lexi and Leo show.

Remember the time that you woke Leo up early in the morning by taking a video of him, and it turned into a snowball fight at seven in the morning? Remember how happy you were and how the snow was as of pearls and the sunrise was beautifully blended into the whiteness of the snow.

Remember the walk that you had with Leo at the Farm House? Instead of getting a ride with everyone else after going to pick out a tree for Christmas, you two walked the rest of the way, talking and learning things about each other. You even stopped multiple times to take pictures with each other.

The video camera. Leo still has it. I wonder if he ever just picks it up and looks through the videos and pictures, just to catch a glimpse of how things used to be.

Before I know it, there's a slam of a door. I'm thrown out of 'La la Land' and find myself alone and in pain, still strung to the wall.

 **LEO'S POV:**

You wanna know what's kind of dangerous? Adrenaline and love swirled together. Especially when you're standing outside a highly risky Headquarters where evil mutant soldiers roam 24/7.

In my current situation, I'm probably very lucky to have others with me; despite how loud they're being. If I didn't have eight people's lives in my hands right now (nine, including myself), then I would have stormed in as quickly as I could. I need to make sure that Lexi is okay. And the adrenaline that runs with me as we hurry through the night doesn't mix all that well with my love for Lexi.

"Man Leo," Raph mumbles, shaking his head. "You'd think that the lair was on fire, by the way you're rushin'."

"Yeah bro," Mikey says, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Just chill; we'll get your girl back." It takes all my might not to shove his hand off of my shoulder. I want to scowl and turn to him and say that I can't "just chill".

"Whatever. Can we just...hurry?" I'm anxious to rescue Lexi and my voice lets everyone know that. So they don't question it or try to calm me down in any other way. We just continue to wait outside the building.

"Okay," Donnie begins, glancing over at everyone. "Remember the plan: we head in, with our weapons hidden. Leo and I are going to distract the guards by explaining who we are, and the rest of you need to hurry inside as fast as you can. They won't throw us out because of our excuse." Everyone looks like they understood (all except for Mikey, but we have already explained to him several times).

While everyone else hides, Donnie and I appear at the door of the building. It's clear that the RBMC wouldn't be right there on the first level—it may be a few levels down. Donnie knocks.

After waiting a good two minutes, I knock; this time, with more force. The longer we stand out here in the summer warmth of the night, the quicker my anxiety grew. What could they possibly be doing to her? Starving her? Beating her?

I'm grabbed from behind. I shriek as my arms are twisted and I'm pinned to the ground. My face is smashed into the hard floor; surely preparing to leave a mark.

"Wait!" Donnie's voice is sturdy. "We were sent; sent to come see Russell Burgess." The pain in my arms doesn't go away. I'm not being released quite yet.

"Dr. Burgess did not tell us about visitors," A deep voice from behind me says. "How do we know that you are speaking the truth?"

"We were sent by Rachel Bennett," I manage to mumble, through my face smashed against the hard concrete ground. "She sent us to pick something up." There is a pause and then the deep voice speaks again.

"Dr. Burgess, there are two men out here who are claiming to have been sent by Dr. Bennett. Verification?" The deep voice confuses me, but Donnie looks to me and mouths the word, 'microphone' and points to his ear. The man must be calling Dr. Burgess on some sort of radio. After a few moments, I'm released.

Rubbing my arms, I scramble back to my feet. I'll be sore for a couple days; the one that had a grip on me really had a grip on me. I feel like my arms are bound to fall off any second now.

"We apologize for the inconvenience," The deep voice says. "Please follow us."

My eyes widen when I see that the man from behind me isn't a man at all; he's more of an oversized lizard walking on two legs. I'm sure that that's how people see us (even though we aren't lizards).

Donnie and I follow the mutant (but not before giving a glance backward, just in time to see everyone else scurry inside and hide, before the automatic doors slam shut).

We walk for a long while before we arrive at a door. I wait for the mutants to open it but they simply look over at us.

"Go ahead." And with that, they hurry away.

"Well," Donnie begins. "Are you ready to save Lexi?"

"Do you even have to ask that?" I mumble, reaching out and twisting the knob open. I push the door and look up to see a very open room full of cells. They're all dark cells, each of them with a different aura seeming to surround them. None of the atmospheres look very good.

Standing in front of one of the cells stands a man. He has his back turned towards us. His light gray hair is frizzy and sticking up everywhere. As he stands—hands clasped behind his back—we can hear some mumbles coming from near him. He's either mumbling to himself or having a one-sided conversation with the mutant in the other cell.

"Excuse me," Donnie says, as he slowly approaches. The man doesn't turn around. "Dr. Burgess." He turns around and his eyes widen when he sees us.

"Are you the two young men that have been sent by Dr. Bennett?" he asks turning, his hands still clasped behind his back and his eyes shining with some confusing form of admiration.

"Yes," I manage to say. I wonder where my lack of confidence comes from. "We were sent from Rachel Bennett. She...she wanted us to bring back one of your prisoners." I'm struggling with my words and it's making me annoyed.

Dr. Bennett simply looks very perplexed.

"Prisoners? I hesitate to describe them as such. They're more like my pets; I train them and I help them become better; stronger." I almost laugh at that. _Right,_ I think. _Listen old man, Lexi is stronger than you could ever train her to be._

"Her name is Alexandra King," Donnie says. This makes Dr. Bennett seem even more confused.

"Dr. Burgess had no idea that we had managed to kidnap Alexandra," he admits, looking somewhat sheepish. "We were planning on surprising her; make her proud."

"Well she found out and she wants us to pick her up," I say. "Unharmed and healthy. Do you think you can do that?" The sudden fear in his eyes surely provides mine to be filled with anger.

"Oh well, you see...we have some...co-workers, I guess you could call them. They were helping us; they knew of a small family of mutants that we could very much use in our army of mutants. Alexandra knew about these mutants and we were trying to slowly get an answer out of her. We weren't pressuring her, hurting her, or making her feel bad in any way that we knew of." I don't like how he's speaking past tense. "In fact—"

"Is she here or not?" I snap, biting my lip to keep from showing my anger. I pretend to miss the warning look that Donnie shoots me. We both know that if either of us show any care more than that of the orders from Dr. Bennett, we'd be caught.

"Tell Dr. Bennett that she is no longer here," he says slowly. "The co-workers of mine didn't think that my methods would work." I open my mouth, about to ask him where she is now; but Donnie beats me to a question.

"What were your methods?"

"I give my pets room to eat, sleep and think. They're even allowed to leave their cells at times, if they're acting correctly." he answers, looking somewhat proud.

"What about your co-workers?"

His face darkens. "They're a bit...impatient. They think that violence, torment and anger are more effective ways to work."

I feel my face heat up in anger.

"And you just gave her to them?" I rage and Donnie steps on my foot hard.

"Who were your co-workers?" Donnie asks slowly, looking away from me and back to Dr. Burgess.

"They were called the Dark Angels," he says gravely. "They weren't all that wonderful of co-workers, but they had good intentions, despite their flaws which were so very—"

"Do you know who they are? Do you know what they could be doing to her right now?" I'm not just angry anymore; I'm absolutely fuming. Donnie takes my arm and pinches it, which actually hurts, considering how thin human skin is.

"We'll be leaving now," Donnie says, loud enough that wherever everyone else is, they'll be able to hear. "By the way...do you happen to know where the Dark Angels have their lair?"

"I do not," he says, shaking his head. "Please tell Dr. Bennett that I truly am sorry. I would not have given Alexandra away if I had known that she would want her healthy and unharmed." Well that's comforting.

"So you think that they might be hurting her right now?" I exclaim, clenching my teeth together.

"Well of course," Dr. Burgess chuckles. "I mean, these are the Dark Angels we're talking about. I'm sure that her life is just hanging from a tiny little thread by now." Without realizing it, I reach out to punch him. But Donnie pulls me back—as I shout angry words at him.

"Sorry, thank you, bye," Donnie calls, pulling me out of the room.

I leave the RBMC with more disappointment, fear and anger than I've ever felt in my life.


	12. Darkness

**LEXI'S POV:**

"Alexandra." It's a voice that I've grown to hate, if I hadn't hated it the first time I'd ever heard it. Like usual, I don't respond.

"You have a visitor." A visitor? What does she mean?

A few moments later, the door opens up again. I still refuse to look up. What is the point? I'm going to get kicked and slapped and punched and cut and beaten to a pulp. There's nothing and nobody that is going to be able to stop it; except for maybe the turtles. But my hope is running thin and I've started to unintentionally begin to believe all that Melinda said about the turtles not coming to my rescue.

"I present to you Oroku Saki." Those six words; those words make me stop shaking.

No.

No, anyone but him.

I don't want him to see me; especially not like this, chained to a wall, bleeding and bruised. I can't look up at him; so I can't be sure if he's really here. This could be a sick, cruel joke that she's playing with me to get me to look up—or to give up.

"Look up, Alexandra." I don't respond. "Look your father in the eyes!"

How does she know? How does she know that this is my father?

Suddenly, her hand is smashed against my forehead and she lifts my head upwards.

My eyes hit his immediately and before I know it, my vision is blurring. Tears are streaming down my cheeks and I suddenly can't hear anything. The last thing I do is let out a sorrowful cry and I black out.


	13. Driven by Love

**Leo's POV:**

"Are you absolutely, positively sure that you've got the location right?" I ask, and I can hear the strain in my own voice. "We need to know for sure."

"Positive," Noah responds, before I even end my sentence. "We're absolutely positive."

"Ya better be." Raph laughs. "'Cause last time we got sent to the wrong institution, Leo went loco." I don't say anything. I simply cross my arms and avert my eyes to the floor.

"Then let's get going," Mikey whines. "We can't wait all day."

"Mikey...just stay here until we tell you to, okay? It isn't like you'll be staying alone; you'll have Mallory, Emmeline, Rose and April here too. We just need to get some information and take down the guards. We can't all go waltzing in through their Headquarters; we'd for sure be seen," Donnie explains, but the orange-clad brother doesn't look convinced.

"If Leo and Donnie get to come with, then why don't I?" Mikey whines, crossing his arms. I feel my own arms cross over my chest out of impatience. Every second we waste is just another chance for the Dark Angels to hurt Lexi.

"Mikey," April says softly. "These are the Dark Angels we're talking about. Your brothers just don't want to see you get hurt."

"I can take 'em," Mikey insists, but he doesn't sound as demanding. "I swear, I can."

"We don't want to take any chances," I says, shaking my head. "We've only faced the Dark Angels a few times. We're hoping that we won't have to fight very many of them, but there's no such thing as being too prepared."

"Yeah, well when we did fight them, we kicked butt! C'mon, Leo! Please!" But Mikey's voice is drowned out by my stubbornness and I simply give him a pat on the back.

"No," I say firmly, turning on my heel and starting away. Raph and Donnie follow. I can hear Mikey's pleads start again, but I ignore them. We all know that Mikey could take a couple of Dark Angels; as the rest of us could. But he's the baby of the family, so it's automatically our job to look out for him.

"Okay, Fearless Leader. What do we do now?" Raph asks, crossing his arms.

"From what we've observed, there should be a hidden door."

"A hidden door? What is this, Scooby Doo?" I ignore Raph's sarcastic comment and feel the walls of the building.

"A portion of the wall you can push in, a loose brick...something." My hands push and the wall seems to shake. "I think I found it." After a few harder pushes, an uneven door breaks through.

"Nice job, Leo." Don pats me on the back and starts through the doorway slowly. I follow with Raph behind me. Moments of silence pass by. Those moments turn into minutes and eventually, we've been walking for ten minutes. Raph makes a lot of unnecessary, nonconstructive comments and Don and I try our best to ignore them. Finally—after twenty some minutes—we reach a doorway.

"Do you think this leads somewhere else? Like an actual place?" Raph asks, crossing his arms and tilting his head the slightest bit.

"We _have_ been in an actual place," Donnie points out, rolling his eyes. "This just might happen to be the place they're hiding Lexi."

"That's good enough for me," I say, reaching for the door. But before I can reach it, Raph swats my hand away.

"Whoa," he says. "Hold on, Lover Boy. Like mentioned before, we can't just waltz in there."

"Why not?" I'm being irrational and I know it all very well. But I can't help but feel eager; eager to rescue Lexi...eager to get her back.

"Because we don't know what are behind those doors," Don insists, putting a hand on my shoulder. "We don't even have a plan, Leo." I stare at my brother absentmindedly for a few moments and then instantly reach for the door again. Donnie whacks my hand away again and gives me a look.

"Leo," he stresses. "Please; just listen to me." I bite the inside of my cheek and cross my arms. But I don't say anything; I just look at him. "Okay, here's our plan. Raph'll go in through the doorway. Not as bait...but just in case there is someone behind those doors. If there's danger, we'll quickly take care of it. But if it's clear, then we'll keep going. We managed to hack into the security cameras back at the lair and as far as we know, we managed to turn the majority off."

"So assuming we've got the maps correct, as soon as we pass through the hallway, there will be another set of doors; doors which lead to their overall Headquarters. Their Headquarters is made up of one large arena and then smaller rooms surrounding every corner or so. Those rooms are used for as interrogation rooms as far as we know. Lexi's bound to be in one of them."

"You think they're torturing her?" I growl and I feel my hands clench. "We've got to get in there."

"We will," Don promises. "So does everyone understand?"

"Let's do this," Raph mutters. "I never thought I'd be volunteering to be bait."

Slowly but firmly, he pushes open the doors. I hold my breath and wait. Just moments later, the doors are pushed open again, revealing Raph. "I took care of what I could." Without waiting for him to explain, I shove past and my eyes travel to the four unconscious bodies lying on the ground.

I don't so much as glance twice at them before I head toward the end of the hallway.

"Wait, Leo—" Raph calls and I stop abruptly, but don't turn around. "Leo, we need to get everyone else."

"Hurry then," I say firmly. When neither of them moves, I speak again. "I said hurry." Donnie turns back and exits the hallway and enters the one we'd spent ten minutes walking through. "Raph, you should probably go with Don; make sure that he's okay."

"I ain't leavin' you here, Leo. No way," Raph says, arms crossed against his plastron. I sigh and shake my head.

"Raph please," I strain. "I can handle it." Raph opens up his mouth, about to oppose, but I put my hand up to stop him. So he sighs and nods slightly.

"Twenty minutes," he promises, patting me on the back. "We'll be back before you know it."

"That's what they all say." Raph gives me a look and I wave him away. "Yeah, yeah, be careful." After giving me one more look, he turns and hurries down the hallway. I watch until he's just a small speck at the end of a tunnel. Then, I turn back towards the door. As soon as I face the window at the door, someone passes right in front of it. Panicking, I slide to the side of the wall and stand there for a few moments.

Moments turn into minutes.

I wait, but my patience is running thin. Not that I really had much patience in the first place. Glancing back down the hallway one more time, I take a deep breath and open up the door slowly.

It's almost identical to the one we'd broken into so many months ago. In fact, it gives me shivers as I slowly creep in. Memories from that time flash through my mind. I desperately want it to stop, but I have already entered the Headquarters, so banging my head against the wall won't be very discreet. Not to mention, I doubt that that would work.

Somehow, their headquarters manages to be both dark and lit at the exact same time. It's quieter than I remember; as if they expect intruders, and want to be able to hear every peep that anyone will make.

I quickly dodge a few Dark Angels passing by, and I crouch behind a dark ledge that's probably only four feet high. I hold my breath and wait until the heads that are traveling across have disappeared. Poking my head up, I manage to scan the Headquarters again.

My eyes catch sight of someone I recognize.

"No..." I whisper. "It can't be..."

It's Shredder. He's speaking with Melinda Crespo—the leader of the Dark Angels. And he doesn't look happy.

I black out.

* * *

I awake to an excruciating pain in my head. I open my eyes to find myself chained to the ground. A Dark Angel must have knocked me out while I had been spying on the others. I'm lifted up by the neck.

"What do we have here?" Melinda emerges from behind a wall, arms crossed as she looks at me in disgust. I quickly assume that it's Sullivan who is holding me by the neck. When I don't respond, she slaps me. It feels kind of weird, being hit by a girl. Then, it gets worse.

From behind the wall, Shredder is shoved out; chains on his hands and restrained by larger Dark Angels.

Now a year ago, it would have been wonderful to see Shredder chained up like this. But something feels off. Weren't the Dark Angels trying to form an alliance with Shredder? As I search my mind, I realize that it has been a long time since the Headquarters had really talked about the Shredder. Somehow, with everything going on with the RBMC and Lexi, they had missed this.

"Shredder..." I whisper, and suddenly I don't know how to react. He's the Shredder: the man who has been trying to kill my brothers and I for years now. But at the same time, he's Lexi's father.

"We took your little girlfriend's father and made sure that he saw the pain she's been in," Melinda explains. "We want to make sure that he knows what he's doing if he wants to say no to being our ally."

Pain. Melinda said that Lexi is in pain. I feel myself struggling against the chains that bind me.

"Where is she?" I growl. Melinda doesn't answer. "Tell me. Did you hurt her?"

Melinda simply laughs. I feel my patience wearing thin. I continue to struggle, but it's no use. Melinda laughs again and leans in closer, crossing her arms against her chest.

"Those chains are bolted so tightly that even your idiot-gadget brother, Donatello couldn't unscrew it," she informs, and I narrow my eyes at her. How much does she know about my family? "Anyway...why do you care so much about Alexandra? I thought you two broke up after that little incident." I take in a breath full of rage and it takes me all I have not to lash out again.

"Just...let...her go..." I take a breath between each word to avoid shouting. "Please; don't hurt her. Take me, just don't hurt her."

"Too late."

"Why are you doing this? What do you want with us?"

"You? Nothing." She pauses. "Alexandra on the other hand can be useful."

"How so?"

"Oh don't act stupid."

"I'm not acting."

"I suppose not." She stops for a minute and stares at me. "Alexandra is a strong warrior. She's been trained most her life because Daddy over here left her to rot with that family of hers." I glance over at Shredder, and I'm surprised to see that he has already been looking at me. Instantly, I turned my head away. Well this is a just a tad bit awkward.

"So? There are plenty of people out there who have been trained like Lexi has."

"True...but not exactly. Alexandra has a motivation, as everyone has. For some people it's fame or fortune or friends. But for her, it's family. And not only is that her motivation, but that's her weakness," she explains, as if she has been planning this for some time now. It takes me a minute to understand but once I do, it all clicks.

"So you're blackmailing her," I realize, shaking my head. "You want her to do something, and if she doesn't do it, you'll hurt her family."

"Bingo," Melinda says, smirking a bit. "Looks like you aren't an idiot after all."

"So what is it then? What do you want her to do?"

"Oh great idea, Leonardo. Let's just tell the enemy our master plan!" She pauses and shakes her head. "Actually, I might as well. You aren't getting out of here alive anyway." I know that right this moment, everyone else is probably coming to get me. But I keep my mouth shut about that. I want her to think I had come alone.

"But before I do so, I'd like to tell you that you're friends that you brought are being taken care of right this minute." I inwardly groan. Great. Awesome, Leo. Why didn't I just stay back and wait for Don and Raph to come back? Oh that's right; because I have a weakness too: Lexi. That's something we both share. We have weakness for each other and our families.

"Still care to hear the story?" When I don't respond, she continues to anyway. "It was a few months ago that we discovered that Shredder over here was the father of the King children. After a while, we caught him on several occasions, visiting their apartment."

"Well that's just a little bit creepy..." I mutter, and from the corner of my eye, I see Shredder shoot me a look. Then, for the first time, he speaks.

"What would you do if you found the home of a family that you left so many years ago? Wouldn't you want to reminisce?" His voice isn't as deep as usual. Maybe his "deep, menacing Shredder voice" has always just been an act to disguise his real voice. Still, his words surprise me. Yet I manage to respond.

"I wouldn't have left them in the first place."

"You don't understand. I had no—"

"Silence! Haven't either of you ever learned about listening when someone else is talking? These are elementary school manners, for goodness sake, you should know this!" Melinda exclaims, and we're both quiet for a minute.

"Well my father couldn't exactly find a preschool fit for mutated turtles, so—"

"Would you like to hear what I have to say, or not?" I don't respond, and she relaxes a little. "As I was saying, we caught him going back to the apartment when the Kings were at work. Eventually, we noticed that he had a particular soft spot for his children; especially his oldest, Alexandra. We long ago decided that what's better than having Shredder as an ally is having him as a captive ally. So we decided to blackmail him, as you call it. Alexandra seemed to be the strongest of the three children, and we did some research on her. Straight A student, wonderful fighting skills...she'd make the perfect Dark Angel."

"Of course, we knew that she'd never agree to it; so we dug some more and decided what her soft spot was: her family. So we get Alexandra here, and part A of our plan is finished. Now we needed to introduce her to the idea of her becoming a Dark Angel. Of course, we couldn't have her know that that's what we brought her here for. So we asked her questions about you and your brothers, making her think that that's what we wanted; that we wanted to know about you, where you live, what your weaknesses are..." She smirks and shakes her head. "Well it looks like we found out _your_ weakness."

"Anyway, when we finally introduced her to the idea, she was hysterical. She wouldn't speak for days, no matter how much we beat her." The fact that she says it aloud—that she beat Lexi—makes me want to rip apart every last Dark Angel. "But eventually, we told her the price: if she didn't agree to our terms, we'd kill her family. Well, what left she has of it."

"Now _that_ almost got her. She still wouldn't agree to it though, as if she knew that we wouldn't actually kill her family. We are menacing, but we have our limits."

"Do you really?" I spit, shaking my head in disgust. Melinda almost looks offended that I would ask that.

"Yes," she says. "Of course we do. Different than you would expect, but yes. Now after that was where Shredder came into the picture. We invited him here, telling him that we would discuss a possible ally. But here's the thing: looking closely for the past while, we've noticed something different about Shredder. He isn't really...evil anymore. It's like knowing that his family is here in New York, now he wants to turn back and drop the crime-life. So we had to stop that too. We brought him here, chained him, and brought him to Alexandra. If he didn't agree to help us, we'd continue to beat her."

I don't know what to say or what to do. Without even thinking, I turn my head towards Shredder.

"What did you agree to?" I ask slowly as I hold my breath and wait.

"He's still a bit hazy on his reply, so we have no problem hurting Lexi during the time that he's deciding," she responds for him and rage fills my heart once more. I want more than anything to just rip out of these chains and charge at her. But I'm suddenly pulled back and the door opens up.

And in comes the rest of the gang; chained and escorted by Dark Angels.

"You've got to be kidding me..." I mutter, shaking my head and looking at the ground. The last hope I have is suddenly washed down the drain. Melinda laughs from beside me.

"You really thought I was kidding? Your friends have been taken care of. Well now that the whole gang is here, why don't we go around and introduce ourselves?" Melinda sure is enjoying this. And I hate her for it. I absolutely hate her for it.

"Where is she?" Emmeline demands. "Did you hurt her? I swear, I will—"

"Now, now, Mrs. King. Hold your horses." Melinda pauses. "Yes, we've hurt her. A lot actually. She's not enjoying it, but it's necessary."

"How is it necessary?" Rose asks. Her voice is sturdy, but her face displays absolute terror.

"Aw, Rosie...you wouldn't understand." She takes a step back and looks around. "But hey; it's a nice family reunion, right?" One by one, they all notice that it isn't just Melinda in the room: Shredder is here too.

Emmeline swallows. "Jaxon."

Shredder's eyes have so many more emotions than I've ever seen before.

"Wait, Shredder?" Raph rages. "You were in this too? Oh, so you think that it's perfectly fine that these Dark Angels are beating your daughter? Some father you are!"

"I didn't know," Shredder says genuinely. I never thought I'd hear pleading in the Shredder's voice. "They're...they're blackmailing me. And Lexi too."

"Chain them to the wall," Melinda orders. "All of them. By the end of the day, we'll have them all taken care of." And with that, Melinda leaves the room. It's so quickly, I can't call her back. I don't know why I would have wanted her here any longer though. Maybe so that if I do break free, I actually can rip her to shreds.

"Leo..." Raph begins, after the other Dark Angels have left. "Ya really thought you could break into a Dark Angel Headquarters alone and _not_ get caught? Are ya really that stupid, man?"

"I wasn't alone. You and Don were right behind me." It's a lame and weak excuse that's only half true.

Raph scoffs. "Uh, yeah ten minutes away and going the opposite direction! What were you thinkin'?"

"I was thinking about Lexi. You heard them, they've been beating her. For all I knew, they could have been beating her at that moment and the longer we waited, the more pain she'd be in," I say, shaking my head. "I couldn't let that happen."

"Well they could be beatin' her right now for all we know, and now we really can't do anything about it," Casey says, groaning. "I just can't believe you, Leo. Honestly, you're supposed to be—"

"Quiet, both of you. He was thinking about Lexi," April exclaims. "Case, what would you do if I was being held captive and beaten at every thing I said and didn't say?"

"I'd storm in there and beat those idiots until their bones were crying for mercy," Casey responds without any hesitation.

"And why's that?" April continues.

"Because I love you, and anyone that wants to hurt ya is gonna have to go through me first," Casey responds, and he finally catches on. "Alright, alright, I see you're point."

"Good," April says softly. "Now we need to get a plan together."

"What's the point of that?" Don asks, shaking his head. "We can't make a plan when we can't even reach our toes." There is a silence.

"Man, Mikey," Raph mutters. "Where's your stupid joke for that one?" There is a silence. "Mike?" We all look around: no Mikey.

"Wait...did Mikey come with us when we were captured?" April asks, looking around.

"He was there..." Don says. "I just...I think he may have hidden. There were so many of us, that they couldn't have expected there to be more."

"So Mikey could be out there still? Making a plan or something?" There is evident hope in April's voice and I'm sort of glad for that.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well, we're doomed," Raph mutters, closing his eyes and leaning against the wall.

If Mikey can follow through with a plan, I'll never underestimate him again.

Neither Emmeline nor Rose speaks. I feel the awkwardness in the air. It's clearly very weird for all of the Kings with Shredder here in the room. I hate awkward situations. And somehow, I always got caught in them.

It has been hours since Melinda had left the room and I begin to lose hope that Mikey will ever come. But that hope is restored when the door knob suddenly begins moving up and down and left and right.

"Is that...is that door knob...twitching?" Raph asks, raising an eye ridge.

"No...no, somebody is picking the lock," Donnie says, and we all stare at the door for a few moments. Soon enough, it opens and in comes Mikey and Noah. Noah. Great; of _course_ Mikey chooses (out of anyone), to call Noah.

I guess jealousy never really ends.

"Oh thank goodness," Mallory mutters. "Get over here ya goons and unchain us." Noah stands there and glares at her for a minute.

"You know," he begins. "We can just save everyone except you and leave you here to rot, Mal."

"Uh, better not. Her corpse will probably wander into your living room in mid-day, zombie form and it'll stink up the place as she howls in the sunlight about how much she hates you," Mikey predicts, getting down and picking at the locks of the chains with a lock-pick that Donnie has made for each of us. "We wouldn't want that now, would we?"

"You're a smart guy, Michelangelo," Mallory says, nodding.

"Although now I have a really terrible image of a rotting Mallory wandering into a kitchen with her mouth half full of nutella," Raph mutters, shaking his head. "But it definitely wakes me up. Now unchain me next." As soon as Mallory is unchained, she jumps up. "Wait, Mal," Raph calls. "Don't get any ideas; we don't want you running off and getting captured again."

"Fine," Mallory grumbles, crossing her arms. But then she uncrosses them and hurries over to Noah. "Dude, give me one of those lock pick thingies so that I can hurry up this process."

"As much as I like the enthusiasm, we've only got two lock picks—" Noah begins, but is cut off by Mallory slapping him lightly and grabbing the second lock pick from his hand. She instantly jumps down and begins unlocking my locks.

"Okay, that was just—"

"Done." Mallory has unchained me within seconds. Glancing at Noah, she moves on to Don's chains. Noah's expression would have been hilarious if it weren't for the situation that we're in. He looks absolutely perplexed. As she unlocks Don's locks, he turns to her warily.

"How often do you do this?" He rubs his head, and Mallory laughs a little.

"A little more often than legal." When Noah looks horrified, Mallory laughs again, this time with more heart. "Aw, I'm just teasin' ya. I only do it when necessary."

"Oh man," Raph mutters, rubbing his wrists. "Define necessary." She rolls her eyes and continues to unlock.

"So Mike," I begin, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks...this plan of yours really seemed to work. Sorry I, uh, always underestimate you."

"No problem, Leo." Soon enough, everyone is unlocked except for Shredder. Mikey looks at him wearily. "Do we want Cheese Grater over here unlocked?" I think about it for a minute. Over the few hours that we have been stuck with him, he's spent those hours trying to convince us that he's trying to be good again.

"Don't take this personally," I begin, rubbing the back of my neck. "But you kind of have been trying to kill us all our lives." He looks at me for a while, and shakes his head.

"I'll make it up to you."

"That won't make us unlock you," Raph says, crossing his arms.

"I know." He pauses. "But I promise that I'll still make it up to you."

"So you'll make it up to us even though we aren't going to unchain you?" Don asks.

"Yes."

"Then let's go," Mallory says, sticking the lock picks in her pocket and heading towards the door.

"Noah." Shredder knows Noah's name? I think about it for a moment, when I remember that Lexi has known Noah since they were in kindergarten. Of course they know each other. Noah glances over at Shredder with a blank expression on his face.

"You've grown up," Shredder observes and Noah looks at him for a minute before nodding slightly.

"We all have." Then without another word, he turns on his heel and follows everyone else. I do the same.

 **LEXI'S POV:**

"Guess who showed up?" Melinda's voice asks, and I barely open my eyes. "Little boy blue and his crew. We took care of them though, don't worry. So now, you can think about our little offer."

"You dragged my family into this," I croak, shaking my head. "Dragging my family into a blackmail situation is very dangerous."

"We know; that's why we did it."

"I'm weak; I would be of no use to you."

"Just say the word and we'll set you free. Well not free, but we'll train you and gear you up again so that you can fight. We'll ready you." She's still trying to persuade me to join the Dark Angels. She has even brought my father into this, which is a very, very dangerous move.

"What's the word?"

"Yes."

"Then no."

Melinda sighs and shakes her head. Her arm reaches out and she slaps me. A kick in the stomach follows soon after. But not long after that, the unmistakable sound of the door opening goes off. I'm suddenly hearing my name called in all different voices in all different angles of the room. Am I hallucinating? I can hardly see, but I blink my eyes several times and I'm about to make out a large number of figures.

Four of them are green.

"Guys..." I croak. "No...no...no..." Melinda kicks me in the stomach again and turns her heel towards them.

"How did you escape?" She genuinely sounds curious. And angry. Anger mixed with curiosity.

"Oh great idea, Melinda. Let's just tell the enemy our escape plan!" Leo mocks and her mouth drops open.

"No...no, you couldn't have escaped." She pauses. "That doesn't matter now. With a push of a button, I can call other Dark Angels in here. You'll be outnumbered within seconds."

"Not if we take care of you first," Leo decides, nodding to Raph. Suddenly, Raph charges at Melinda from behind. But Melinda sees Leo's nod and quickly flips Raph over, tossing him towards the wall. He goes crashing and Melinda begins to laugh.

"Oh, amateurs. Aren't they the best?" she sneers, looking around. "Who's next?" Casey goes charging with his hockey stick and knocks her to the ground. She jumps up and before he can handle it, he's kicked to the ground as well. But then Mikey comes up from behind and whacks her over the head with his nunchucks.

That's when all hell breaks loose.

 **LEO'S POV:**

Dark Angels begin piling into the room and I know that it's a matter of minutes that we'll be captured again. I need to hurry. Mallory tosses the lock pick to me and I catch it without hesitation. I rush towards Lexi and shake my head in horror.

She's black and blue with bruises and blood and dried tear-stains. I hate Melinda for doing this to her, and I hate myself for not finding her before this happened. But I don't have any time to worry about what I didn't do. I need to get her out of here.

"Oh Lexi," I whisper, getting down to unlock the chains on her feet. "Are you hurt?" Really, Leo? 'Are you hurt?' Of course she's hurt! Ugh, I'm such an idiot. "Oh, sorry, wrong question. We're gonna get you out of here." Lexi looks at me with both hope and fear in her eyes. She's shaking her head violently as I unlock her.

"Lex, what's wrong?" I ask, freezing for a minute.

"You can't...you...you...can't kill them...they're...too strong." She gasps, shaking her head even more. "They'll kill you." She begins to cry. I shake my head and hurry my process in unlocking her.

"Lexi, they won't kill us. We're going to make it out of here, I promise."

"They have my dad."

"I know." I pause. "I know." Once I manage to get her hand-locks undone, she falls straight for the ground. She's absolutely limp and numb. I catch her before she can crash and as I hold her in my arms, I realize how much they've been hurting her. She's so light. Have they even fed her at all?

"Leo, go!" Raph orders. "Casey, Don, Mike and I will hold 'em off. Take the girls." Without hesitation, I make a break for the door. Emmeline, Rose, Mallory and I hurry down the hallway. It's chaos out there too. Emmeline and Rose manage to fight off a few of the Dark Angels, and soon enough, we're in the shorter hallway. The four of us sprint and I hold Lexi in my arms.

We finally make it out of the building. The sudden silence almost scares me. Why is it so quiet out here? Can't everyone hear what was happening inside the building? I pause my thoughts and catch my breath. Then I realized that the building is soundproof. No one comes out of their homes in concern because they don't hear or see anything to be concerned about.

"Leo." I barely hear Lexi's whisper. "Leo, go get my dad." I'm not sure I hear her right.

"What?"

"Go...go get my father. Bring him with us."

"Lexi, are you sure that you—"

"Get him. Now." She swallows. "Please, Leo." As confused as I am, I can hear the urgency in her voice. I nod my head and hand Lexi to Emmeline.

"Get her into the van. We'll be out soon."

"Good luck, Leo," Mallory says and I nod. I then hurry back inside of the building. I don't run into too much trouble, and before long, I reach the room we'd left Shredder in. Luckily, there is no one in there yet.

"Leonardo?" He sounds confused. I swallow and get down on my knees, hurrying to pick his lock.

"Looks like it's your lucky day."

 **A/N: Hello, hello. I'm sorry, I know this was a long chapter but I figured it would be kind of weird to just, like, stop in the middle of all the action so I hope it wasn't too long for you.**

 **Yay, Lexi has been found! But also...Shredder. And to be completely honest with you, I have been waiting FOREVER to bring Shredder back and I knew this was the perfect time. He's honestly one of my favs and I know that he's been a bad guy for a long time but I think this is when you'll find that every bad guy was once a good guy.**

 **I know that there hasn't been a ton of Lexi/Leo action going on but there is a reason for that. This story started out as, what I had hoped would be the stereotypical Leonardo fanfiction. But it has become much more than that. It's about family and friends and life as well; not just all the cheesy romance stuff (though there was quite a bit of that, especially in the first book). I hope that you have gotten attached to the characters enough to keep reading, but if not, that's okay. Thank you for reading this anyway(:**


	14. To Mend

**Leo's POV:**

Lexi sleeps the entire ride home. Even when I lift her up to carry her to her room, she still doesn't even stir. It makes me both relieved and angry at the Dark Angels. They've hurt her so much and that's very clear. She's fatigued—both physically, and I'm positive that she's exhausted emotionally as well.

"Keep an eye on him," I tell my brothers wearily, nudging my head towards Shredder, who hardly hears me. "I still don't trust him."

"Dude, then why'd you let him free?" Mikey asks. I shift Lexi in my arms and shake my head at my younger brother.

"Lexi's orders." I glance over at Shredder again, who's now watching me. "Handcuff him or something." I'm not surprised when as Donnie takes the handcuffs out from the glove box, Shredder doesn't do more than blink to defend himself.

He'll do anything to prove himself worthy of our trust, whether trustworthy or not. I still don't trust him. But there is something that I feel; I feel like I should trust him...but I can't.

Or I don't want to.

That's a likely possibility. I don't want to trust Shredder because of all he has done to hurt not only the King Family but my own family. But my own instincts are telling me that it doesn't matter what he did before; what really matters now is that he wants to change.

But I can't take the risk.

"Bring him up with us to the apartment, but don't take your eyes off of him." And with that, I carry Lexi up the stairs of the apartment complex. As I'm walking, I hear footsteps catch up to me. I glance over to see who it is, and I notice a head full of bouncy red curls.

"You doing okay, Mal?" I ask, shifting Lexi in my arms again. She has her arms crossed around her chest, as if she's cold. I know that she isn't though, seeing that it's over seventy degrees even now at two in the morning. But I guess we're all feeling cold in one way or another.

"No, not really," she admits. "I mean...I just found my best friend beat up and torn apart. And I _really_ want to rip apart the jerks that did it."

I sigh in empathy and nod my head.

"I...I know how you feel." I don't extend on that. If Mallory knows—if anyone knows, for that matter—all the horrible things I was thinking as I was chained helplessly to the ground, I'd lose my "calm, serene" reputation for sure. In all honesty, I don't blame Mallory. I want to rip Melinda to shreds too.

Once we reach the door, Mallory unlocks it and pushes through. All the lights are off. The smell is familiar: the smell of fresh laundry and a new cupboard both mixed together. Mallory doesn't leave my side as I push open Lexi's bedroom door and lay her onto the bed, tucking the sheets around her. I don't take my eyes off of her face as I do so, and as soon as I'm done, I take a seat in the chair next to her bed.

She's in terrible condition.

Bruises are on all the parts of her face and she has a black eye and dry blood everywhere. She has cuts and wounds of all sorts, and if she looks this bad from her face, I can't imagine how bad it really is. I'd seen Melinda kick her several times before calling the guards on us. Donnie is going to have to see how bad it is. But for now, I want her to rest.

I don't realize how long I have been staring at her for.

"I think she's still in love with you." Mallory's voice drowns me from my thoughts and I tear my gaze away from the poor girl lying helplessly, yet sound asleep.

"What?"

"I don't know for sure," Mallory says slowly. "We don't talk about it all that much; she kind of avoids the topic. But I think she still loves you." I don't know how to respond, so I just shake my head and look back to Lexi.

"I don't know why she would."

"Because you were in love," she snaps. "You both were."

"I still am," I tell her, biting the inside of my cheek. "And you don't know how hard it is for someone to hate you for saving their life; someone that you have been in love with and you were absolutely convinced that they loved you too."

"Lexi did love you!" Mallory's voice is rising. "You can't just assume that it wasn't real! Honestly Leo, I thought you were better than that!" Emmeline passes by the doorway (thank goodness). She quickly gives me a look of sympathy before calling out to Mallory.

"Mallory, honey, let's give Leo some time alone with Lexi." She says it very firmly, but her voice is full of compassion. I'm grateful to have the knowledge that at least one of the Kings doesn't hate me. Mallory's stare seeps into the side of my head, but eventually she stands up. It's abrupt and it frightens me a bit. Then, she leans in closer says one last thing.

"Did you ever think that maybe one of the reasons that she dumped you wasn't because she didn't love you, but because you couldn't understand why she did?" And then, she's gone.

It takes me a few minutes to process what she has said. And after I do, I realize that she's right.

I constantly told myself while Lexi and I were dating that I didn't deserve her. I told myself that she was a beautiful, strong young lady that I could never dream to even notice me (after getting past the fact that I'm a giant, green mutant). I truly didn't understand what exactly it was that she saw.

Hours pass by and Lexi doesn't stir, which I guess is good. When Rose knocks on the door, it's early in the morning and the sun is beginning to rise. From the computer chair, I glance over towards the door. Rose gives me a small smile and approaches. She takes a seat on the end of Lexi's bed.

"How is she?"

"She seems fine; hasn't woken up yet, but she seems..." I stop. How do I describe how she seems? Okay? Tired? Fine? I don't know anything, really. All I am is the ex-boyfriend that everyone feels pity for. And I hate being pitied.

"Somehow, she looks better," Rose comments softly, kneeling down next to Lexi. The brunette takes her older sister's hand and holds onto it. Rose's eyes stare down at Lexi's face in both relief and sadness. I understand both emotions.

"It's really weird," Rose begins, shaking her head the slightest bit. "You know...I feel upset right now. I feel sad to the greatest extent. Just looking at Lexi; beaten and bruised and broken, it hurts me. I'm so used to seeing her so...so strong and...not hurt." I can tell she's struggling with her words. "I mean...it's weird to see her helpless. It's really scary, to be honest. Lexi's always been the one that helps us when we're down. I don't think I even remember much of a time where I've seen her like this." She pauses for a long, long moment. "But I'm also relieved."

"You just said that you're sad."

"I'm both. I'm sad to see her like this, but I'm also relieved to see her like this." I must have given her a funny look because she quickly adds onto her words. "I mean...man, that sounds terrible. I'm not _relieved_ relieved to see her like this; I'm just glad to see that she does have a breaking point."

"You've been seeing her breaking point for a while now," I remind. "Ever since Benj passed."

"I know," Rose responds, shaking her head again. "But this is different. Then, she had an emotional breaking point and that was really clear. But until now, I haven't really seen a physical breaking point. Now, here I see her all beat up and helpless...it's really odd." She pauses and groans softly. "This is really hard to explain."

"I think I understand." I don't really; I'm just saying that to keep her from making the situation even worse.

Rose nods and turns back to her sister. I want so much to just get down next to Rose and hold Lexi's other hand. I want her to wake up and listen to me tell her how much I love her, over and over again. I want to kiss her and I want to comfort her. I want her to know that she's safe with me.

But is she really? How could any of this even qualify as safe? She had been kidnapped by the Dark Angels and beaten to a pulp. And now, her father—Oroku Saki, the man who has been trying to kill my family for so many years—shows up, ready to be good again. None of this is okay, despite the fact that I want it to sound like it is.

"Leo," A voice calls. I look up towards Rose, but it isn't her who has spoken. Glancing towards the door, I find that Mikey is standing there with his arms awkwardly at his sides. I can tell that he's afraid for Lexi just as much as I am. We all are.

"Master Splinter wants us all home." He pauses. "All of us." I nod, without saying a word and get to my feet. I look down at Lexi one more time. Mikey walks over without saying anything and ruffles Lexi's hair softly. There's a ghost of a smile on his face. "I hope you're okay, Lex."

Before I know it, my brother and I are both leaping across the rooftops, trying to keep up with my other brothers. None of us say a word.

 **LEXI'S POV:**

I wake up to absolute, utter silence. And pain; a lot of pain. But I'm used to that; what I'm not used to is the atmosphere. There's something different about the atmosphere. It isn't cold. I don't feel afraid anymore.

My eyes open and I find myself in a room that I recognize.

I am in my bedroom.

I'm home.

That means that I've been rescued; I've been saved.

I would have jumped out of my bed, right then and there, and sprinted towards my door. But I know that I'll fall to the ground on the first second of trying to walk. How long have I been out for? How long had I been locked away? And where is everybody?

"Hello?" I try to say, but it ends up sounding like a very weak croak. I doubt anyone hears me. I'm exhausted. In fact, I have to take a few minutes to catch my breath enough to say it again. "Hello?"

Nobody comes.

I look around my room and I feel a wave of comfort rush over me, despite the fact that I'm alone right now. My window is closed and the blinds are shut, but I wouldn't assume anything different, knowing my mother as well as I do. After being kidnapped for well over a week and finally returned safely home, I would hope that she wouldn't leave the blinds and windows open for anyone to see.

I try to focus on the injuries I can feel, but everything feels numb to the pain, so it's really hard to decipher. After lying there for well over an hour longer, I decide that the majority of the pain is located in the stomach area. I can feel dried cuts on my lip and the area around my eye hurts immensely. My wrists and ankles don't hurt, besides the fact that they feel sore. I most likely won't be able to walk for a few weeks.

I fumble around for my phone, but I can't find it anywhere. That's when I vaguely remember dropping it while captive by that Maneuver Man.

"Great..." I muttered. "Just perfect." I tried to call out several more times (each time didn't turn out to be more than a light croak). Out of patience and options, I decide what I'm going to do.

The trip to the carpet is a short, yet deadly trip. I manage to crawl out of my bed and land on the beanbag chair, but my stomach erupts with pain. I groan and bite my tongue to keep from shrieking; although maybe my cry will finally get someone's attention. After I recover from the fall, I begin crawling my way towards the bedroom door (which is shut...lucky me).

"I feel like I'm on I Shouldn't Be Alive," I mutter to myself, shaking my head. "Benj must be laughing so hard right now." And I can picture it: my brother, laughing at how I'm practically reenacting an "I Shouldn't Be Alive" episode, right here in our own apartment.

I reach for the door knob several times before I can actually grab it, and once I do, I shove the door open. It swings and lightly hits the wall. I continue to crawl through the hallway, into the main room. Once I reach the room, there's still dead silence. This is really beginning to bug me...

I hear a high-pitched scream. The suddenness of it makes me scream as well. So me and whoever else is screaming, we just sit there, screaming for about fifteen seconds.

"Lexi!" Someone shrieks, and I scream again, flipping over and landing on my back. I shriek in pain and groan, shutting my eyes tightly as I try to recover.

"Ow..." I whimper.

"Oh my gosh." I recognize the voice as Rose's. "Are you okay? Do you need anything? What are you doing out of bed?"

"No one was answering me." I still haven't opened my eyes. Suddenly, I'm being helped up.

"I didn't hear you calling," she admits, and I finally open my eyes. The lighting takes a few moments to get used to, but once I do, I'm able to fully see my sister. She genuinely looks worried sick.

"I've been awake for over an hour," I mumble, rubbing my eyes. "Rose, how long have I been out for?" She lets go of me, but I instantly go tumbling towards the ground. She gasps and helps me up again, looking sheepish.

"Oops, sorry. I didn't know you couldn't walk. Here, let's get you over here to the couch so you can sit down." After sitting me down, she takes a deep breath and shakes her head. "You've been out for a day. We came and rescued you yesterday..." She pauses. "Should I call Mom and—"

"No!" She gives me a strange look at my outburst. "Rose, I just want to relax right now. You know how Mom is..." I'm almost pleading her not to call Mom.

"I really feel like I should call her..."

"Please don't."

"Okay," she decides wearily. "Who do you want me to call then?"

"Anyone but her."

"I'll call Noah," she decides, picking up the phone. "You want Mallory here too?" Although I really don't want Mallory freaking out, like I know she will, I also know that she'll never forgive me if I don't let Rose call her.

"Yeah," I say. "Noah and Mallory. That's good for now."

The next thing I know, I wake up to voices. I open my eyes—still feeling groggy—and realize that Mallory and Noah are sitting on the couch in front of me.

"Oh shoot," I mutter. "I'm so sorry...did I fall asleep?" Noah laughs and raises his eyebrows, glancing over at Rose, who is standing in the kitchen, cutting an apple.

"Yeah," he chuckles. "Rose said that she turned around for three seconds to get you something to eat, and when she turned back around, you were snoring."

"I don't snore."

"She said you sounded like a grizzly."

"I _said_ she sounded like a dog," Rose corrects, waving her finger at him.

"Like that makes much of a difference." I involuntarily let out a groan as I try to sit up straighter. All the laughter in the room ceases and everyone turns to me with fretful expressions on their faces. Rose puts down the apple she's cutting and heads over to me quickly.

"Maybe I should call Mom—"

"No!" I say, much harsher than I intend. "I mean...no. Sorry, but...no...I don't want everyone worrying."

"We're going to continue to worry until something is said about your injuries," Noah informs, crossing his arms and narrowing his gaze at me. I know what he's thinking. He wants me to go to the lair; check in with the turtles. I'm sure that that's what everyone wants, since they're the closest friends our family has. They want me to let them know that I'm awake and okay.

"Something _has_ been said about my injuries," I say, turning away from Noah so I don't have to bear his "you know what I'm thinking" look. "They're injuries, they hurt, and they'll heal."

"Not quickly though; we don't even know what we're dealing with," Mallory points out, cuffing my ankles with her hands. "Noah, get her wrists. We're taking her to the nearest hospital."

"NO!" I screech, trying to wriggle out of her grasp. But if there is one thing worse that being captured by Mallory, it's being _injured_ and being captured by Mallory. "No, please...I'll...I'll..." I search for anything to say; anything. I desperately want to stay out of the public's eye and I certainly don't want to be checked into a hospital that will likely ask how I received such terrible injuries. "Take me to the lair and call April down. She'll take a look since she's trained in that kind of thing, and then Donnie will do the stitches and stuff."

All is silent. I want to stare at the ground—avoid everyone's gazes—and just wait until someone says something. But to fortify my plead, I know I have to make eye contact. So one by one, I look up at each of their faces and look them in the eyes. Finally, a sigh comes from Rose.

"Why not?" she decides softly. "Injured girl's orders."

"Thank you, Rose," I whisper. And I mean it.

Mallory leaves to go call April, Rose leaves the room and Noah tries to entertain me. Rose has never been too good at that, and she knows it. But neither have I; entertaining isn't exactly our thing.

"So, what do you think about your dad suddenly showing up?" Wrong question, Noah.

" _Why_ would you ask that?" I exclaim, utterly astonished that that's how he'd start a conversation. "I'm bruised and broken...and you ask how I'm enjoying my villainous father returning from the dark side?" It's clear in my voice that it's a rhetorical question, but Noah—like Mallory—isn't afraid of my menacing voice. Anyway, I'm pretty ill...my menacing voice probably doesn't sound any bit more threatening than a newborn kitten asking for milk.

"Yes..."

I sigh and shut my eyes tightly, laying my head back and shaking it slightly.

"I don't know, Noah. I don't know." There is a silence.

"Well, you let him go."

" _I_ didn't let him go."

"You ordered Leo to let him go." There is another silence. My eyes pop back open and I sit up as much as I can, trying to ignore the pain that is sprouting through my body.

"He...he let him go? Leo actually let him go?" I'm shocked. Over a decade of my father trying to kill Leo and his family...and he let the man go just because I had told him to do so. I'm utterly taken aback.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't he?" Noah pauses. "Okay, let me rephrase this conversation: he didn't exactly let him go...but he released him from the building. As far as I know, your dad is locked up under the watch of one if not all of the turtles. We arrived early in the morning and Leo told Don to handcuff him."

"And he didn't put up a fight?"

"Don? No, he's usually a pretty obedient guy when—"

"I meant Shredder." I swallow. "He didn't try to fight back?"

"No." Noah is quiet for a moment. "I know; we were all really surprised. But I think that he's serious about this whole good guy thing again. Aren't you happy about that?"

"He can't stop being a villain just like that," I say, ignoring his question. "That's...it's just irrational."

"Maybe it wasn't just like that. Maybe he's had time to think about it."

"How, by breaking into our apartment while we're out and reminiscing, wishing back the days when we was presentable?" I joke, chuckling softly without humor.

"Maybe."

Neither of us speaks for a while. I suddenly wonder why it's taking Mallory so long to talk to April. I'm about to mention my thoughts, when Noah speaks again.

"I know you're under a lot of stress," he says slowly. "And I know you're angry and scared and hurt and...and confused. And it's only natural to act out on those emotions. But Lex, I hope you know that lashing out those emotions on us isn't going to make anything better. It'll only hurt more people."

He stares at me for a long time, as if trying to make sure that I understand what he's saying. I nod stiffly after a while, just to wave his gaze away. More minutes pass by of silence. I have a lot of time to think.

Noah's right. He's absolutely right. Ever since I woke up, and much before that, I have been acting like the world's biggest brat. I have resulted to blame and pointing fingers and sarcasm and all the things I never like in a person. I have become the person I have only had nightmares of becoming. My heartbeat seems to stop as I realize that.

Maybe things aren't as bad with Leo as I thought they were. Maybe he's trying his best to show his love for me and be there for me and keep me safe and all I have done is shove him away and spit in his face and leave him to think about what he's done, when he hasn't even done anything wrong. Maybe _I_ am the monster; maybe _I_ am the problem. Maybe _I_ need to apologize.

I glance over at Noah, staring at the floor, completely silent—totally unlike Noah.

Yeah; I need to apologize.

"Noah, I'm sorry..." The apology comes out awkward, like it's also a foreign concept to my lips. And that makes me feel about ten times worse. "I truly am sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me. With Benj and the whole breakup with Leo and...and everything..." It's then, in the middle of my sentence, when I realize another thing.

The breakup with Leo; it would have never happened if I hadn't have been a brat. If I hadn't have pushed him away...if I hadn't have hated him for saving my life; we would still be okay. It's my fault.

"Oh my gosh, Noah...what have I done? I'm a monster..." I whisper and I can't take any of the emotions anymore. I break down. The speed at which the tears run down my face surprises me. It's as if they are waiting for me to realize my mistakes, before actually rushing down my cheeks. But I'm even more surprised at how quickly Noah comes to embrace me.

He's considerate over my injuries and holds me so very lightly, but enough to make sure that I know that he's there for me. And to make sure that I know that he cares...and that he knows that I'm sorry. That makes the tears stream even faster, and with my injured arms, I put them around him and cry into his shoulder. I'm hurting, physically and emotionally right now. But I think they cancel each other out and somehow, the pain is numb to me. All I know is that I'm being held and that I can cry.

And I'm glad.

Fixing something isn't easy. But somehow, it isn't as bad when you know that you're the one who broke it.

 **A/N: Whoa...is...Lexi...actually...beginning to apologize? I told you guys it would come(: she is finally at that point where she is thinking clearly and recognizes how much she's been pushing people away (it only took her a near-death experience). Now let's see how she handles her dad being back in her life too. Good stuff, guys. Good stuff**


	15. Tell Me

Being in the lair again is, at first, a little uncomfortable. It's familiar, yet foreign. There are so many things that have happened, so many memories I have here...it's almost like a dream. Never did I ever think that I'd hear the sound of Mikey's video games and the guys training in the dojo.

And it feels like years since I've heard Mikey's voice; and it feels like never since I've heard him sound worried.

I reach over to give him a hug, but Noah scoops me into his arms and rushes me down the hall.

"Sorry Mike," Noah apologizes. "April's already in the infirmary room; she wanted us to bring Lexi to her as quickly as possible." Noah and Mallory pretend not to see Mikey's disappointed face because it's a face that nobody can resist. I give the orange-clad turtle an apologetic smile.

"Sorry Mike," I say, just as Noah had. "But don't worry; I'll be patched up soon and then I'll get that big turtle hug of yours." That makes him smile again and his smile makes me smile. That's the thing about Mikey's smiles; they truly are contagious. Sometimes, you don't even know that you're smiling back; it's just a natural thing.

I turn my head away from Mikey and towards where Noah and Mal are taking me. My breath catches in my throat when Leo comes around the corner. His eyes seem to pop out of his head when he sees me.

Leo opens his mouth, trying to say something but nothing comes out. He starts to say my name a few times, and once he finally does, we're already past him.

"Sorry, Leo," I call, trying to turn my head around. "I'm on a train that only goes forward and no stops. Maybe I can reverse the track in like an hour and a half." I turn to my friends. "Guys, I can walk now."

"No you can't," Mallory insists, as we enter the infirmary room.

"You only say that because you enjoy being in control of my every action," I point out, and suddenly, I'm set down. I look up and see April, bringing her medical tools in a box. She smiles sadly as she looks at my face, which is probably hideous seeing the amount of bruises I have. She gives me a hug.

"We were all so worried about you, Lexi," she tells me, shaking her head. I try to smile to let her know that I'm okay, but to be honest, I don't actually know if I am.

Noah, Mallory and Rose leave the room and April looks over my injuries and writes down every single one she can find. I don't know what I expected; maybe about one hundred pages full of injuries and broken bones and each and every little bruise I had received. It isn't that bad; in fact, the list looks like it's only a page long and that's better than anything I could have expected.

"What hurts that most?" April says after what seems like forever. She steps back and takes a seat on a stool that's behind her.

"My stomach," I say honestly. "She kicked me a lot in the stomach." April purses her lips, thinking.

"Yeah, that would make sense; the stomach area and rib cage are very badly bruised, but somehow, you don't have a single broken rib."

"Thank goodness," I mumble, genuinely glad. "Do I have a broken anything?"

"No," she says, smiling a little. "That's the good news."

"What's the bad news?"

"Your cheeks have been badly bruised, your nose has clearly been beaten a lot and you've lost a lot of blood from it. Your ankles and wrists are badly swollen, and you may be walking with a limp for a little bit. You have a really bad black eye one your right, and your left looks like there used to be a black eye there, but it's been given the chance to heal so it isn't as bad."

There is a brief silence.

"So basically what you're trying to tell me is that the bad news cancels out the good news and makes it all just...terrible news," I conclude bluntly.

April laughs. "Not quite; I'd have to add a few more things to make it terrible news. Honestly, you're really lucky that you didn't break anything. Sure, the other things will take some time to heal but you're very lucky that breaking a bone didn't come under your fate."

I take a deep breath and collapse on my back onto the infirmary bed.

"Ow," I mutter as my stomach fills with pain again. She sighs and gives me a sympathetic look.

"Lexi," she says softly. "I know that you're scared and I know that this seems like too much to ask—"

"It doesn't," I say quickly. "Honestly, I totally understand. Great power comes with great responsibility."

"That quote doesn't fit in this conversation at all."

"It felt right."

"Well it wasn't." She laughs and so do I. It feels really good to laugh again, even if it does make my stomach hurt. Man, that's going to be a huge pain; not being able to laugh without my stomach hurting. "But seriously...none of this was your fault."

"Some of it was." There is a silence.

"What are you talking about?"

I sigh and look at the ground, feeling my smile fading from my face.

"April...April I've been acting horrible since Benj passed away. I've been...I've been so horrible."

"No you haven't—"

"You haven't seen it, April," I say, shaking my head. "You didn't have to see the worst of it." She is silent, as if she knows that I'm going to continue. And I do. "I don't know what it was. I don't know why I was acting that way. It feels like...like a daze. I don't even remember the thoughts or the reasoning for why I acted like that...I just remember that it seemed fair for me to treat Leo like that." I don't mean to mention Leo, it just happens. "I mean...I mean I didn't mean to treat anyone like that."

"I think we both know what this conversation is really about," she says softly, reaching for my hand. "It's okay, Lexi. I think that when break up with somebody...we often don't realize what we're doing. We're just so hurt and feel so damaged inside that we decide that we need someone to point fingers at. And that's normal."

"But it doesn't make it right." I take a deep breath. "In general, I have been acting like a brat. Rolling my eyes, being overly sarcastic..."

"That sounds like Raph."

"That's my point; I don't want to be Raph." I laugh softly, and then look to the ground again. "But I think that I've hurt Leo the most. He saved my life, April. He was there for me when I didn't want anyone there for me except Benjamin. He was there for me and I shoved him away so hard. And it isn't fair that I thought that he deserved it. And it wasn't really until today that I realized what a monster I've become."

"You are _not_ a monster," she insists before I even finish my last word. "You are the exact opposite of a monster."

"Maybe before but—"

" _Now_ ," she disagrees. "You are still the same person that you were before, you just know better and you're wiser because you've experienced things that the person you were months ago would never understand. Do you agree with that?" I swallow and bite my lip, but I nod. Her eyes soften and she squeezes my hand. "Benj doesn't want you beating yourself up."

"I know." I feel numb right now, but it's a good numb. That all goes away when there is a knock at the door. April permits the person to come in, and the door opens up. Leo stands in the doorway. His eyes instantly lock with mine and I have trouble looking away, so we both stare at each other for a long, long time. Even as he speaks, he still looks at me.

"Can I...um..." He pauses and starts over. "How bad is it?"

"Not as bad as it could be," April says. "I had some good news, and I had some bad news. But according to Lexi the pessimist, the bad news is so bad that it cancels out the good news and makes it all terrible news." Leo laughs a little bit, but it seems like the full laugh is stuck in his throat. I miss his laugh.

Then, he takes a deep breath and looks down, like he's embarrassed.

"Um...can I talk to...can I talk to you, Lexi?" He keeps his eyes glued to the floor for a few moments, and then lifts his head the slightest bit and locks eyes with me again. The look on his face makes it impossible for me to say no.

April exits the room to give Leo some time to talk to me. I try to sit up, but even that's a struggle. Leo reaches out and lightly takes my arms, helping me up. My breath is caught it my throat when his hands touch mine. It's a feeling that's pre-historic to me. It's a feeling of excitement and love and hope.

I feel like my own breath is caught in my throat again and I find myself looking down at my hands. I don't know what to say. I haven't really spoken to Leo in a long, long time. And there is so much to sort out and so many things to say, that part of me doesn't want to pretend it's okay and just wants to sort out the hard things now. But I don't do that; because that could take a lifetime.

After maybe five minutes (neither of us dare to speak first), a pair of green hands wrap around my own. I bite my tongue when I feel my heartbeat quicken. There are so many things I have missed about Leo. And my hands in his hands is one of them.

I don't know I was going to, but I suddenly jump up and wrap my arms tightly around him. I bury my head in his neck and squeeze my eyes shut, hoping that I won't start to cry. The words, "I'm sorry, Leo." Are on the tip of my tongue but I just can't say them. I can't apologize and I don't know why. And it's making me really upset and I feel disappointed in myself.

It's when I feel his arms embrace me as well, that I find the sudden courage to say them.

"I'm sorry," I say quickly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Leo, I—"

"Lexi," he says softly, yet firmly. When I don't respond, he pulls away and I feel a sudden coldness at the absence of his arms. But when I see his face, the cold disperses. "Lexi, you don't have anything to be sorry for."

"I have everything to be sorry for. You've been...you've been there for me this whole time and you've been trying to comfort me and trying to reach out to me and I've just pushed you away and you didn't deserve that but I thought you deserved that and I don't even know why I thought you deserved that. You didn't."

"Lexi," he says firmly. "You don't have to apologize."

"But I _am_ apologizing," I say quickly. "I'm sorry, Leo. For everything." His hand lifts my chin up so that I'm looking him in the eyes. His big hazel eyes are tearing into mine and it takes everything in me not to look away. Because I'm scared of what he's going to say.

"Then I accept your apology," he decides, nodding once. "I really do." I swallow and nod back, finally looking away. I don't know what to do now. I don't know what to say or even what to think. "And I'm sorry for not trying harder to get you back."

"What?" I look back up at him.

"I tried so hard to reach out to you when you broke up with me," he says slowly, looking into my eyes, as if searching for something. "But I didn't try hard enough. So I'm sorry for almost giving up on you."

"I'm sorry for giving you a reason to."

* * *

"Guys, where's Shredder?" I ask.

Nobody speaks. I groan and bite my tongue, holding back from demanding someone to answer me. I can't do that; I had apologized for being a brat, and I need to stick with my promise of refraining from it. So I wait.

"In the interrogation room," Donnie says finally from across the room. I raise an eyebrow curiously.

"What kind of turtle has an interrogation room?" I ask.

"What kind of turtle has an infirmary room?" Mallory challenges and I purse my lips and tilt my head to the side in agreement.

"Touché," I say. "So...what exactly have you done with him so far?"

"Not much," Donnie responds. "We all wanted to wait until you woke up before we did some major interrogation."

Of course nothing has been solved. I don't know why, but I just assumed that once I woke up, everything would be fine and dandy. I had assumed that I wouldn't have to do any fixing. But clearly, that isn't the case. From the looks of it, I'm not only going to have to work on fixing the things I broke, but fixing the things that somebody else broke.

"Then we'd better get started."

"Lexi, are you sure that—"

"You waited until I was awake, did you not? Well I'm awake and we have a suspect in the other room." I say, looking around at everyone. "Okay?"

The next thing I know, we're all right outside the door. I'm just inches from being inside the room and all I have to do is turn the knob and push. And to be completely honest, I don't think I've ever been more scared in my entire life.

"Lexi," Leo says softly, and I feel his hand on my shoulder. "You don't have to do this."

"Yes I do," I whisper, shaking my head to myself. "And I have to do it alone."

"No you don't," he insists. "You don't have to do it alone, I mean. You don't have to be strong on your own, you know. I know it hurts because I feel like that a lot. But you don't have to do it on your own. You don't have to be alone."

After a moment of hesitation, I turn my head to look at him.

His big dark eyes stare into mine; oh, those eyes that I've missed so much. I swallow and nod after a while.

"Okay," I say weakly. "Come with me." He looks the slightest bit shocked, but that shock is instantly replaced by relief. He's relived that I'm not going to do this without backup. And I'm relieved too.

The two of us walk in quietly. Leo shuts the door and I look at him as he does it. His eyes meet mine encouragingly and he gives my hand a soft squeeze. I can almost hear him saying, "You can do this." And that gives me hope and that helps me speak.

I sit down in the chair in front of the table. At first, I avoid looking at my father. I can't look at him. I can't do this. I can't.

But out of nowhere, I remember something.

 _"... isn't that all you've ever been? Strong? Your name," He laughed a quiet, sad laugh. "Alexandra King. You are strong and you always have been. And I know that this will only make you stronger."_

The sudden memory from the last time I saw Benj really shocks me. Where did that come from? But it doesn't matter where it came from...what mattered is that it is completely relevant to the situation right now. So I look up.

"You've been seen committing hundreds of crimes on countless dates and you've never been caught," I begin, forcing myself to look up at him. "Your henchmen—on typical days, the Foot Clan—never seem to be captured either. After knowing what you could do and how you're quite cunning when it comes to escaping, it causes confusion to all of us on why you're still here."

I'm surprised at myself for getting all of that out so easily. No stutters, no pauses and no tears. His helmet covers most of his face, but I know that if he takes it off I'll begin to bawl because I'll recognize him as my father—not as the Shredder.

"Because I want to be here. I'm exactly where I want to be."

"And where is that?" I ask, biting my tongue to keep from letting out a cry. He doesn't sound like the Shredder. He sounds like my dad. And I don't know what to think of that at all.

"Near my family."

Neither of us speaks.

I bite my tongue even harder and look at my hands, which are softly folded together atop the table. The only sounds that can be heard are the sounds of breathing and the muffled voices from the other side of the door.

There is a question I can't help but ask. I don't plan on asking it; at least, not yet. But it slips.

"Then why did you leave?" I whisper, looking back up at him. "Why did you leave us?" My voice sounds weak and broken and I want to hide. I hear Leo catch his breath, like he's going to come over to try to comfort me. But he stops himself and I'm glad he does. I don't need any comfort right now. I need answers.

"It's a long, long story, Lexi."

"We have time."

"A story I don't know if I want to repeat ever again. I'd like your mother, sister and brother to all be here when I tell it."

This time, it's my breath that stops. He doesn't know. He doesn't know about Benj.

"He's dead." I blink back the tears, but I feel my face redden as I feel like I'm suffocating just by my own words. "Benj died." My father's eyes widen for a brief moment and he doesn't respond for a long, long time.

"He..." He clears his throat. "He's dead?"

"Yeah. I thought you knew."

"How would I have _known_?" He sounds broken...and I don't think there has ever been a time where I'd seen or heard the Shredder sound so torn apart. _Welcome to my world, Dad._

"It was a long time ago."

"It couldn't have been," he says out slowly. "I saw you all together as a family just months ago."

"July," I correct. "It was July, so I guess it wasn't that long ago. It...it feels like a long time ago, I guess."

"I'm sorry." He shakes his head. "I'm so sorry, Lexi."

"I don't...I don't specifically know what you're sorry for," I begin. "But I assume it all starts with your incredibly long story."

"Yes," he says quietly. "I suppose it does." Neither of us speaks for another long while, although the silence doesn't feel all that long. "I guess I'll start now." I want to point out that he'd said that he wanted to wait for everyone else, but I don't.

"I've made mistakes," he begins. "We all have made some pretty big mistakes in our lives. But my biggest mistake...the one that I regret so, so much...is choosing money and power over my own family." I don't like the story so far and it has just begun. I want to get up and leave and cry and admit to myself that my father is gone. But Leo's hands rest on my shoulders from behind and I know that he knows that I want to leave. But he also knows that I'll regret it if I do. So I stay and I listen.

"These men...they showed up at the doorstep one day. They told me that they had something to offer me. I began to tell them 'No soliciting' but then they mentioned a job. They told me that if I gave up my home life in Carlsbad, that they'd reward me with a powerful job in New York City. I fell for it, and I took the job. That was mistake one and the faults I made didn't stop from there."

I listen for a long time to his story. I cringe at many parts and feel like I want to cry at others. The pains that he has witnessed and had to go through all because of one single mistake. I would have felt bad for him if I didn't have that one part sticking to my mind like glue: he gave us up for power. But that changes soon when he mentions something.

"But before you get up and hate me even more, I want to tell you something. Alexandra, I had good intentions. Clearly, I didn't think that they'd be offering me a job as a villain. I instantly thought, 'New York. That's a great place and with a job as wealth-providing as they make it sound, I could really build a wonderful life for my kids.' You and Benj and Rose were still so young, so I assumed that moving wouldn't be that hard on you. I had good intentions and I really just wanted to make your lives the best it could be. But I guess it didn't happen that way."

I have tears in my eyes now. Everyone makes mistakes, as he said. I swallow and suddenly feel sorry for him. All these years, just assuming that he'd left us for the criminal life. He truly does love us.

"Dad..." I mumble, biting my tongue, but not even trying to hold back the tears. Suddenly, the door is thrown open and Mom comes storming through.

"Get away from her," she says, locking eyes with Dad. "Stay away, you monster."

"Mom, no!" I shriek, jumping up. "No, no, he's okay! Mom, he isn't bad."

"Isn't bad? He's destroyed everyone's lives. I am never letting him get _near_ you!"

"Mom, I'm eighteen years old and I can speak with him if I'd like. If you'd just hear his story...hear what he's been through..."

"I will not listen to what he has to say." She grabs my arm and looks at me. "And what do you think you were doing, leaving the apartment without even telling me? You and your sister are in so much trouble!"

"Mom." I am absolutely flabbergasted at how she's acting. "Mom, you aren't yourself. What's wrong?"

"He's a problem." She points to Shredder. "He's always been a problem and you need to stay away from him. Leonardo, escort her out of here." Stunned, I look up at the blue-clad turtle. If he actually listens to her...

"No." All movement stops and everyone turns to look at Leo. "No. All due respect, Emmeline but I've been here this entire time and I don't think I've heard a single thing come out of this man's mouth that would even hint that he's got something planned."

Now it's my mom's turn to be surprised.

"This man has been hunting your family since the time you can remember, and he's also the reason that my family has been in danger for so long. Again, I suggest that you escort her out of here," Mom states, but Leo doesn't budge.

"If it's a mere suggestion, then I think I'll stay here. And so will Lexi. This is her father and she wants you to hear what he has to say." I'm surprised at Leo and how he is standing up to my mom. She's a scary person when she wants to be and now is one of those times. But still, Leo doesn't as much as flinch at her fuming.

"Mom," Rose says from the doorway. "I want to hear what he has to say."

"Rose, go back into the living room," she orders, but Donnie steps in front of her.

"Emmeline," Don says firmly. "Listen to your daughters, please." Nobody speaks for a long while. Finally, Mom sets her jaw and nods once.

"Fine," she decides. "I'll listen to what he has to say. But after that, I'm calling the police and he will be arrested."

"No!" Rose and I both shriek, but our father stands up.

"Okay," he agrees. "You can call the police and I'll let them arrest me. Just hear me out first."

It's probably no later than seven at night when the police arrive. Cars of them too, not just one. After handcuffing him, they put him in the police car and the sirens shut off, but the lights keep flashing. I bite the inside of my cheek and watch as one of them speaks with my mom about what had happened.

"You okay?" Leo's voice says from beside me. I sigh and nod, not tearing my eyes away from the police car.

"I'm fine." After a few moments, I glance over at Leo. I smirk and chuckle a little bit. "Nice skin." Everyone had filled me in about Donnie and Noah's "human machine" and to be honest, it probably would come in handy with things like being out in the public casually. But still, I personally prefer the turtles in their mutant form.

"Thanks." He smiles for a moment and then the smile disappears. "But how are you, really?"

"I'm okay."

"Are you really?"

"No." I try to smile. "I'm terrified."

"You don't have to be."

"Yeah I do," I disagree, shaking my head. "My dad is good again and he's being arrested and my mom is absolutely convinced he's got some plot to try to escape from prison. She's convinced that he's got something up his sleeve."

"Well what do you think?"

I pause and look back up at him. His eyes shine with sincerity and I smile a little bit.

"I think he's serious. And I also think that there wasn't a word that he said that wasn't true."

A cop approaches us.

"Your father says he'd like to speak with you."

"Just me?" I ask. The officer glances over at Leo and laughs a little bit.

"Yeah," he responds. "He said that he can have a talk with the boyfriend later." I feel my face redden and before the cop can laugh any more than he already has, I hurry towards the cop car where my father is.

The door is open but he's handcuffed, so he can't escape (not that he would have if he could). He sees me coming and looks up. I feel a shock in my heart when I realize that his helmet has been taken off. He looks like my dad. He _is_ my dad.

My dad is being arrested.

"Oh Dad..." I mumble weakly. "You're...you're going to jail."

"Yeah." He swallows. "I know. Better late than never."

I get down next to the car and look at him.

"The cop said that you wanted to talk to me," I say and he nods.

"Don't use all that your mom said today against her," he says. "You know that she's angry and she has a right to be. She is completely right to be upset with me and I don't want you to ever be upset with her about that. In fact, she probably should have been even angrier that she seemed. I'm surprised she even listened to me."

"She wasn't about to."

"I know. But you definitely have quite the friends; they sure helped convince her to listen to me." He pauses. "It honestly did feel awkward though, seeing that I have been trying to...uh...hunt down their family, I guess you could say. Are you dating the blue one?"

"No, Dad." I sigh. "I mean...not anymore."

"Not anymore?" He raises his eyebrows. "Is there some turtle head bashing that I'm going to have to do after all?" For some reason, that makes me laugh.

"Sorry Dad," I laugh. "But you're just a tad bit late on the whole 'bash-the-boyfriend's-brains-in-if-he-ever-hurts-my-daughter' thing."

"So he _did_ hurt you."

"No." I pause. "No, I just thought he did. In reality, he saved my life."

"And you were upset about that?"

"Dad, it's...it's a long story that is really difficult to explain."

"I assume you two are okay then now."

I narrow my eyes. "What gives you that impression?"

"It's clear that you two care a lot for each other. Let's leave it at that." His eyes are fixed on something behind me. "Well, it looks like the officer's coming back. My time to go, I guess."

"I'm proud of you," I say. "For everything."

"Everything?"

"Okay, not everything," I decide. "But for starters, letting them arrest you. You could have escaped, but you didn't." I glance over at the officer, who is signaling that we need to wrap it up. "I'll see you, Dad."

And then he is just another cop car in the distance.

* * *

"Thanks for escorting me back," I thank Leo, smiling. "Also, thanks for changing back to your turtle self." Leo laughs and rubs the back of his neck, grinning.

"Yeah, no offense, but human skin is sort of uncomfortable. I don't know how you people do it," he admits and I grin.

"Now why would that offend me?"

He laughs softly.

We both stand by the window. The warm wind brushes against my face and I look down from the rooftops. He reaches out and brushes my arm. "So are you okay after today?"

"Stop asking that," I say smiling. "I'm fine."

"Fine is never good."

"Fine is never fine, but I'm fine!" I exclaim and he raises an eye ridge.

"So basically what you're trying to get across is that you're not fine."

"No. I mean, yes. I mean..." Leo laughs at my frustration and I roll my eyes. There is silence for a few minutes, and eventually Leo speaks again.

"Lexi, what that police officer said today..." I feel myself blush as he brings that up. "I just want to know..."

"I love you," I say, avoiding his eye contact. "I love you. But I still just...feel like we need time. I don't know."

"I still love you too," he says softly, lifting up my chin so I look at him. "And Lexi, I completely understand. But I just want you to know that my feelings for you have only strengthened since we split. So...whenever you're ready for a relationship again, I'm here."

I stare at him for a few moments and then nod. I want to kiss him. I want to forget all the tension that has been between us in the past few months. I want him to hold me again and tell me it's alright. But clearly, I'd be asking for way too much. He just told me that he still loved me. What more could I ask for?

But I still know deep inside—despite how much I want to be in a relationship with him again—that time will have to heal itself. I can't rush things back together with him. If we ever want to be a couple again, we need to take it step by step just like we had the first time; except hopefully it won't take as long.

"Goodnight, Leo," I whisper, giving him a quick hug. When I pull away, he watches me for another moment, and then disappears into the night. I sigh and lean against the wall, shaking my head to myself.

For now, I have to be patient. With everything as hectic as it is with getting saved from the Dark Angel lair and my father returning and all that chaos, the last thing I need are stressful confusions with Leo. But my dad is still in prison and when he is released, things are going to be a whole lot different around here.

I cross my arms tightly across my chest and shake my head to myself once more. I walk over to the window, which is still opened. I reach out to close it, and then pause. I gaze out at the stars and sigh.

"Benjamin," I mumble. "I need you more than ever right now."

 **So, a lot has happened: Lexi is back & alive which is GOOD NEWS. Shredder is in prison...and...is...a decent human being? What? Huh? Keep reading to find out more about that(: also I'm sorry, don't hate me for Lexi & Leo not getting back together right away but y'all know they will. Give it time.**

 **As always, thank you for reading**


	16. The Call

My head feels like it's being torn to pieces. I bite my tongue and reach for the water bottle sitting nearby. Even after taking a long gulp of it, my head only throbs even more. In frustration, my lip quivers and I cover my head in my arms.

"Lexi, please take something," Don pleads. "You're only making it worse by not taking anything."

"Medicine never helps," I groan, shaking my head slightly.

"It's the only way your headache will go away," Raph stated. "Well, that and getting off of that stupid computer."

"I'm trying to figure out more about the RBMC. Wouldn't you like to know the people who gave me up to the Dark Angels?" I ask, glancing over at the turtles. "Seriously, I'm going to find out whether you help me or not."

"We're going to help you," Leo says softly, placing a hand on my shoulder. "We just want you to be healthy. And obsessing over finding them again for two weeks straight isn't going to cause your condition to continue on the fine line."

"Well what else am I supposed to do?" I shut the laptop. "Rose hardly comes out of her room now, like she's afraid that she'll get kidnapped too and I'm not allowed to go anywhere but my apartment, or here in the lair because of my injuries, which mostly healed a week ago! And my mom is never home anymore; she's always working."

"It's not that you can't handle yourself," Leo says. "We know you're physically fine. But you are the number one target right now to all the villains in New York City. They know who you are. And now that they know that Shredder was arrested after seeing you and your family, they're all going to jump to conclusions pretty quickly and you're going to be on their 'I want her dead' list, if you aren't already. We want to protect you because you need protecting. And I'm sorry if you don't like that."

I bite my lip and look up at Leo. He genuinely looks apologetic. I know that he knows that I don't like being babied. But he knows that I know that I need to be, especially at this time. So I try not to let my stubbornness get in the way of my words and all I do is nod. He smiles quietly.

"Thank you," he says. "Now is there anything we can get you?"

"One of Mikey's quesadillas would be nice, actually."

"One Michelangelo Masterpiece, comin' right up." Mikey shoots up and heads towards the kitchen, getting out all of the ingredients. As he rustles through the cupboards and fridge, a loud beeping noise sounds through the computer. My eyes widen and I open up the laptop in a flash.

"Donnie!" I exclaim. "I think I've found a location, but I don't know. Can you track what I've got?"

Donnie approaches me quickly and I move so he can sit down.

"I'll try. Depending on how close and constant the signal is, I might be able to locate it. Hold on." The sound of his fingers clicking the keyboard fly throughout the room and the beeping noise continues. It seems to get louder and faster, but I might be just hearing things.

Five minutes have gone by, and by now I know that it's getting louder and quickening by the minute. The intensity in the room is absolutely blasting and I feel like we're all going to have one giant heart attack. Even Mikey has come over to watch. I can't imagine being in Donnie's situation right now.

A few minutes later, and the beeping stops abruptly and the screen goes completely black.

"Crap," Donnie mutters. "They shut it down."

"Who shut it down?" I exclaim. "What?"

"RBMC," he begins. "That was obviously it, but they somehow could tell that we were tracking them. They shut us out before we could get too close."

"Couldn't you get any part of the location? That sound was blasting our ears in; it had to have meant something," Raph asks and Don shakes his head, disappointment screaming in his facial expression.

"We probably would have only had to wait a few more seconds. They shut it down just in time, on their part. Even if we did know where they were or even had we had a lead, they're very likely getting up and moving locations as we speak."

"Aw man," Mikey mutters. "We were so close..." There is a silence and then we all become alertly aware at the burnt smell coming from the kitchen.

"Mikey!" I shout. "My quesadilla!" Mikey cringes and sprints towards the kitchen, shutting the stove off and staring at the burnt tortilla that is sitting before his eyes. He then scoops it up onto a plate and sheepishly sets it before me.

"Uh...sorry about that..." he mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck.

After disappointment at the lair in more aspects than one, I end up being escorted back home by Raph.

"I'm sorry that we weren't able to find the RBMC," Raph says as we approach the window. "We'll keep looking." I sigh and shake my head.

"Thanks. But you guys are right. I'm starting school soon. I can't afford to waste my mind capacity with this RBMC crap."

"It isn't real a waste of mind capacity," Raph says slowly. "I'm not disagreeing that it's crap, but it's definitely worth knowing if you wanna beat these idiots to a pulp."

"I don't think it's the RBMC that I want to beat to a pulp..." I say, turning away from Raph.

"What do ya mean? They gave you to the Dark Angels; the most vicious gang in all of New York! If you don't beat them to a pulp, I sure will," Raph insists, punching his fist.

"Raph, you didn't see them..." I start. "They...they were...they were gentle with me. They gave me food and water and they were kinder than I ever would have expected."

"Lexa, you were the one obsessed with finding them for the past two weeks. You've been looking nonstop; you pretty much brainwashed us to believe that they're pretty bad."

"I know, but I'm sleep deprived, of course I'm not thinking straight! Raph, they were actually really kind to me."

"They were fattening you up for the real beast."

"They weren't going to give me to the real beast." I'm losing my patience here, but I choose to keep going. "They were planning on just using their methods...which was treating me somewhat nicely. Melinda changed his mind; she's very persuasive and you know that, Raph."

"That doesn't change the fact that they gave in."

"Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone." I pause. "All I'm saying is that they aren't the real culprits here. He's a mad scientist, he is. I've seen it and I believe it. But he isn't evil; I don't really think he is. He's just curious. He needs a place to belong, that's all."

"What about a mental asylum..." he mutters and I groan.

"Nevermind," I say. "You know, I just want you to think about it. Please, that's all I'm asking. Just tell the guys what I told you."

But when I say goodnight to Raph and we go our separate ways, I know that he isn't going to tell them.

I come into the apartment to find it empty (or so to seem). I know that Rose is in her room and Mom is at the Headquarters. That's pretty much how it has been the past two weeks. I'm either here or the lair. Mom is at the Headquarters and never seems to come home. And Rose sits in her room, sometimes coming out to eat or use the bathroom. I have tried to tell her several times that a kidnapper would be just as likely to get her inside her room, as he would outside of the room. But she's too afraid to listen to me.

I miss Benj a lot. It's really hard, not being able to call him or talk to him or see him. Sometimes I just sit in the family room alone and look at old photo albums because I'm afraid that I'll forget what he looked like. He and I would just sit here and talk about how crazy our lives were, if he were here. We'd just sit and eat store-bought enchiladas and watch Animal Planet, trying to drag reality away.

For the first time in a while, I turn on Animal Planet. Cats 101 is on. And I watch it.

I fall asleep on the couch. I wake up to rustling around and I instantly become frightened. I can see a figure in the dark and without even thinking about it, I switch the lamp on. It's just Mom.

"Mom." I put a hand over my heart. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry." She looks...different. I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing. "I didn't know you were out here. I was just coming back from work." She glances at the TV and laughs a little. "Cats 101? Don't you hate that show?"

I look over at the television to see that it's still on.

"What time is it?"

"About midnight."

I nod slowly. "I'll get to bed then." I stretch and then give her a hug. "I'll see you in the morning. Depending on how early you leave for work." Without saying another word, I head down the hallway and into my bedroom.

I fall asleep in an instant.

* * *

I wake up sweating.

After a few minutes of heavy breathing, the sweat turns cold and I feel even more afraid. I swing my legs over the bed and head down the hallway, knowing exactly where I'm going. I turn the doorknob and push it open.

I stand in the doorway of Benj's bedroom. It's the only space in the house that doesn't seem to have a haunting aura to it, and that seems completely backwards. Nobody has opened his door since about two weeks after his death, when each of us would randomly come and sit on his bed just reminiscing. And then we'd cry and wish he was there.

We all stopped very quickly, seeing that it clearly wasn't helping us cope with his absence.

So naturally, seeing all his old things triggers an emotion from the depths of me and I softly and quietly begin to cry. I don't want Mom to find me crying, so I shut the door and take a seat on the carpet. I try to breathe deeply but that only makes me cry even harder. I find my breath feeling rugged and cut short and that hurts me a lot. But in a way, it feels good to cry again.

I finally look up and gaze around the room. He had his football trophies placed here and there and photo albums under his shelves. My favorite part about his room is always the amount of pictures of family that he had. On his wall, there is a picture of each of us with him and some family pictures too. He really, really valued us. And my crying grows just a little over the line of 'silent'.

I have random memories, as everyone does. Some of these memories are just of sitting here in Benj's room on the ground, while he sat on his bed and listening to music out loud.

It's almost insane how he was four years younger than me, yet I felt like he was so much more mature than me. He was a comfort to me because no matter how difficult things got, he was always there because he was my brother and we grew up together. And not to mention, my bond with Rose had never been that great, so when he vanished, that left me with less than a minute bond with her.

My eyes catch sight of his iPod, which is sitting on the iPod doc on his old nightstand that sits at the corner of the room. I stand up and cross the room. Curiosity overcomes me and I find myself plugging the doc in and pressing play. After a few moments, the album cover pops up on the screen of his iPod and it reads: The Call by Regina Spektor.

 _"It started out as a feeling,_

 _Which then grew into a hope._

 _Which then turned into a quiet thought,_

 _Which then turned into a quiet word."_

 _"And then that word grew louder and louder,_

 _Until it was a battle cry._

 _I'll come back when you call me,_

 _No need to say goodbye."_

 _"Just because everything's changing,_

 _Doesn't mean it's never been this way before._

 _All you can do is try to know who your friends are,_

 _As you head off to war."_

 _"Pick a star on the dark horizon,_

 _and follow the light._

 _You'll come back when it's over,_

 _No need to say goodbye."_

 _"You'll come back when it's over,_

 _No need to say goodbye."_

I find myself shedding some more silent tears and suddenly, I'm clutching my chest in pain. No, I know that it isn't physical pain; it's emotional pain. It's a sudden jolt of emotion and realization that it feels so real. I curl up into a ball and I focus on my breathing, but the crying doesn't stop. I feel so many different emotions that I never really want to feel at the same time. The emotions come from somewhere inside of me and I can't remember a time before Benj's death that I had cried this hard. And despite all of this, the fact that this was the last song that he had listened to really comforts me.

 _"Now we're back to the beginning,_

 _It's just a feeling and no one knows yet._

 _But just because they can't feel it too,_

 _Doesn't mean that you have to forget."_

 _"Let your memories grow stronger and stronger,_

 _Til they're before your eyes._

 _You'll come back, when they call you..._

 _No need to say goodbye."_

 _"You'll come back, when they call you._

 _No need to say goodbye."_

Then I feel a hug. But nobody is there.

 **Hello hello! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I miss Benj a lot): he was honestly one of my favorite characters.**

 **I know, the King family is basically the most messed up family in all the history of messed up families. I mean, let's see...the dad left to serve as an evil villain all the way across the country, the family moves to that part of the country and joins an Undercover Headquarters to the point where they meet mutant ninja turtles and Lexi ends up dating one of them but then they break up because her brother is killed by a killer Weeping Angel Mannequin creature who is actually created by this mad scientist that kidnapped Lexi for quite some time and then soon to find out that Shredder is actually good now and so he's thrown in prison for coming clean and now Rose sits in her room and doesn't socialize (except maybe Tumblr or something idk) and Lexi is watching CATS 101 LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD**

 **There are a lot of more things that I wanted to add to that paragraph ^^^^ but I can't because spoilers(;**

 **I hope you had a good read & keep enjoying the story!**


	17. New Life

If you were to stand in my doorway and look at my room, you'd be probably laugh.

In the past couple of months, I've been kidnapped twice, I've been beaten, broken, blackmailed, I dated a teenage mutant ninja turtle, but then broke up with him after my brother was killed by a live mannequin. I faced my father in an underground interrogation room, almost died several times, I was given to a dangerous gang, by a kind, yet insane old man who turns things into mutants for a living, and I've been slowly mending my friendship with the turtle whose heart I broke.

So packing up my room to be shipped off to CTU is probably the most normal thing I've experienced in a while.

I sit on the ground of the apartment, with clothes in my hands and a pool of brand new cardboard boxes surrounding me. Only a few of them have been opened, and the ones that have are awkwardly put together. The flaps stick up in weird ways and the bottoms aren't folded properly.

"This is the saddest looking box I have ever seen," I hear the blue-clad turtle's voice say. I don't even look up because I know he's referring to practically any box I've attempted to put together.

I snort and shake my head, tossing an unfolded box at him. "Like you could do better."

"I probably could."

"You've never moved in your life."

"And you've moved once."

"Hence the fact that my boxes look like crap," I say, shaking my head. "I'm going to be the worst at everything in college."

"What makes you jump to that conclusion?" Leo asks, taking a seat next to me on the carpet.

"I can't even fold a cardboard box the correct way," I say, finishing folding some clothes up.

"I bet you that half the people you're going to be around won't even know how to do their own laundry," he says, chuckling. "You'll be fine."

We're both quiet for a few moments. He glances over and stares at me for a few moments before speaking.

"When do you leave again?" It's the question I knew he would ask, but it still makes me think. Not because I don't know the answer, but because I don't know how to answer it specifically to Leo. We've kind of avoided the topic, but as I sit here, packing up my things, it's hard to avoid it now.

"The first day of school is September 12th," I say slowly. "I'm leaving tomorrow for the dorm."

"Tomorrow." When he repeats the word, he sounds surprised, yet not surprised at the same time. He knows it's soon, and he probably even knows it's that soon. But hearing the word out loud gives the realization a different feeling to it. It makes it all a lot more real.

"I'm going to visit, Leo," I promise.

"I know, I know," he says, shaking his head. "I know. It's just..."

"Going to be different?"

He smiles a sad smile. "Yeah. It's going to be different."

I look at him for a few moments. Things have been slowly mending between Leo and I. I don't know what you would call it at this point. We're friends, I guess. He meant it when he had told me to take all the time that I need. But I know deep down that it's hurting him to watch me go.

I reach out and embrace him. Instantly, without hesitation, he embraces me back. I feel awful, leaving him behind. Even though CTU isn't too far away, it stills breaks my heart to know that I won't be able to come by and visit him whenever I want, nor will he be able to visit me whenever he wants. Though things have been mellow between us, and we haven't been spending every second of the day with one another, it still hurts to leave.

We sit there and hug for a few moments. I find myself putting my head onto his chest, and breathing in and out slowly. I feel like I'm going to cry. I feel calm, but the tears are bound to spill if I don't watch myself. As I try to even my breathing, I hear a sniffle come from Leo. I don't know whether to hug him tighter or pull away and ask what's wrong. I guess asking what is wrong would be a stupid question, because I already know the answer.

So I hug him tighter and remain silent. I don't know what to say. I've run out of comforting words because I've said them all.

"I want you to have a nice time at CTU," he says quietly after a while. "I want you to live your dreams and live to your fullest potential like I know you can and I know you will. I want you to forget all the bad things that have happened, and start fresh and have a wonderful, wonderful life." He pauses. "But I never want you to forget me."

That's when I pull away. I look up into his warm eyes. They remind me of that night on Christmas Eve, when I danced with him.

 _"What are you thinking about?" Leo asks, tilting his head the slightest bit. His voice is soft and swaddled in care._

 _"Your eyes are like chocolate...with hazel nuts and marshmallows," I say._

 _He chuckles softly and I just now begin to realize how beautiful the sound of his laughter is._

 _"You must be hungry," he says._

 _"Maybe I am. But seriously...it's like...dark chocolate overall...but little mists of white and burnt marshmallow. It's really beautiful, actually."_

 _He smiles, looking down and blushing. Wow...someone who is brave enough to ask a girl to dance in the middle of a cabin is embarrassed when I comment on his eyes._

 _"Thanks...no one's ever told me that before..."_

 _"Well, I wouldn't expect them to. I can't imagine Raph ever telling you that your eyes are beautiful."_

 _He laughs again and his eyes crinkle as he does so._

 _"Right...there's something terribly wrong with the thought."_

The memory makes me smile, as I continue to look into his eyes. They're just as beautiful as they were that night, if not, more.

"Leonardo," I say slowly. "I will never forget you. Don't think for a single second that I ever could or ever would." I pause. "And trust me when I tell you, I never would."

His eyes bore into mine for the longest time. Nothing seems to move for a while.

There's a burden on my heart as I pull out of the Apartment Complex, with Mallory in the passenger seat. The wind blows through her hair. We have all the windows down. We barely get to the street before we both hear a shout from an energetic voice that we both have become so accustomed to hearing.

"I love you Lexi! I love you Mallory!" The orange-clad turtle's voice makes both of us smile broken-hearted smiles. Mallory then grins and looks out the window at the turtle, in his trench-coat.

"Love you too, Mikester! See you soon, Bud." By the time she blows a kiss, we are already out of the Complex completely.

I feel strange. It's like this mixture of excitement and freedom, yet sadness at the same time. I miss my family already. Or what's left of it at this point. Rose has been coming out of her room more. I think she assumes that now that I'm not living at home anymore, she'll be safer. Dad is still in prison, and Mom is practically never home. I suddenly feel bad for Rosalie. If things seemed empty while I was there, I can't imagine how she's going to feel being the only one at the apartment.

* * *

"Lexi, you need to actually talk to real human beings."

I look up at my red-head friend, smile, nod and then avert my eyes back to the screen of my laptop. I scroll the mouse over to the "Next Chapter" button, and right as I click it, I hear Mallory groan, and from my peripheral vision, I see her throw her head back in frustration.

"I thought going to college would help you get new friends, not strengthen your friendships with your fictional ones." She truly does sound frustrated, but I don't really feel all that bad about it. She throws her hands up, and strolls over to the window. "It's a beautiful Saturday night and you want to sit inside, read fanfiction, and finish up leftover lasagna from two nights ago."

"It's an appealing situation, honestly."

"It's a sad situation, actually," Mallory says, shaking her head. "Lex, please. The guys invited us to come down to the park and just hang out. We're all planning on getting pizza afterwards. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

At first, it sounds fun. But that's because I forget for a moment that by 'the guys', she doesn't mean the turtles: she means some of the guys we'd just met a few weeks ago, James and Isaac. They're both nice guys and everything (though James kind of makes me uncomfortable), I just truly would much rather sit at home, eating leftovers and reading fanfictions.

Mallory is right. That _is_ a sad situation.

"Look, Mallory..." I begin, taking my eyes off of the screen and crossing my arms. "I think that the guys are really cool to be around. Don't get me wrong: I love being with them. But with school and work and the Headquarters and everything...I don't have much time to relax."

"Which is why you should come with us," Mallory says. "Your fanfictions will always be there. Maybe not the leftovers, but you can live without that." I laugh at her comment, in agreement. Our roommate, Samantha, always ends up eating the leftovers that nobody has put their name on. We have two roommates in our dorm: Samantha and Andrea. I get along with Sam more than I do with Andrea. Andrea—from the start—just didn't seem like she liked me very much. Sam always tries to assure me that there's nothing I did wrong, but something about it makes me upset.

"Mallory, that sounds fun and everything—"

"Then come!"

I look at her for a few moments.

"I'll think about it." When Mallory opens her mouth to speak, I keep speaking. "How about this: you go ahead and meet them. I'll catch up with you later."

Mallory narrows her gaze at me, crossing her arms. "Do you promise you'll come?"

"No," I say evenly. "I promise that I'll think about it."

Mallory opens her mouth again, like she's going to spit out more persuading words, but I know already that they won't budge my decision. And she must know that too, because she then closes her mouth. She grabs her purse, and looks at me for a few more moments.

"Please do think about it," she says, smiling a little bit. "The guys really do enjoy being around you. You can't be a recluse forever."

I laugh. "I can try."

When Mallory is out of the room, I look back to my computer. The soft, quiet sounds of the song 'Put Your Records On' plays and that's the only sound I can hear, besides that of the overhead fan and the ticking of the clock. Those last two are unnecessary, but constant. Sam likes to have a normal clock on the wall because she says it makes her feel at home, and Andrea gets mad at me when I turn the fan off ever, even though it's been like 50 degrees outside.

New York in the Fall is really beautiful. Every time I go outside, colors swirl together and just make things even more beautiful. I barely even notice the yelling and honking of angry drivers, or the smoke in the air, or even the crazy traffic. The colors seem to drown all the pessimistic things out. It's nice.

When the little hand on Sam's clock hits the number eight, I sigh and decide that I can't keep sitting here. I promised Mallory that I'd think about it. And I _have_ thought about it. What's the hurt in just going and hanging out with them for a little bit? It isn't like I have to stay for hours anyway.

When I walk outside the bedroom, I find Sam in the kitchen, placing a hot pocket into the microwave. When she turns around and sees me, she drops her mouth in mock surprise.

"Is Lexi actually going outside on a Saturday night?"

"You're so funny."

"I know." She takes leans against the counter.

Our kitchen is small, but livable. With four girls being squished into one room, a kitchen the size of a short hallway and what you might be able to call a living room, things get really crowded.

"Mallory is meeting up with the guys." She's got me saying that now.

"And she's making you go," Sam finishes, smiling.

"Not necessarily making me," I say, laughing. "But I don't exactly want to."

"She gave you a guilt-trip, then," Sam concludes, as the microwave beeps. She turns and opens the microwave, almost burning herself. She jumps back a little, mutters an "Ouch..." and then finishes the process.

I laugh again and shrug. "No, I gave _myself_ a guilt-trip."

Sam rolls her eyes, and picks up her hot pocket, taking a bite into it. Her eyes widen and she drops the hot pocket onto the table.

"Ouch!" she shrieks. Her voice sounds funny, so I assume she burned herself trying to bite the hot pocket.

"You're an idiot," I say laughing. "You're supposed to wait two minutes before eating those things."

"That's a waste of two minutes of my life." She picks up her hot pocket, which has landed right next to Andrea's book-marked novel that she'd left there from this morning. I'm the kind of person who never leaves out my books or things important to me, but Andrea doesn't have to fear people taking her things. None of us dare to bother her or do anything that _might_ bother her.

"Well I'm going to leave you and your hot pocket crisis to work things out with each other," I say, shaking my head.

From where I stand, there are trees waving in the wind, sprinkling their leaves all over the grass. I look up at the sky. It's dark, and there are a few clouds out, but none of them even come near the moon. I'm a little chilly, since my leggings aren't as thick as my sweats, but I don't go back inside the dorm to change because I don't feel like Sam making fun of me for not knowing what to wear at night in New York City in October.

I love the CSU campus at night. It truly is so beautiful. It's much different than the deep cities of New York, busy and loud all day, everyday. Not to mention, I feel safe here. Where I used to live, I hardly ever walked around the city at night, unless I was heading to Mallory's house, which I usually walked to. And that isn't just because Leo always told me how dangerous it was.

"Lexi!" A voice calls out. I turn and barely have time to blink before I'm engulfed in a hug. I recognize the arms and laugh, as I hug him back.

"Noah!" I pull away and look at him. Towards the beginning of our time here at CSU, we were practically inseparable. But lately, with things getting busier and busier, we've only been able to see each other a few times a week, and during the classes we have together. He's probably the only reason I even go to my Biology class. Not just because he explains things better than the teacher, but also because it's fun to watch him sass the people around us.

"Where are you going?" Noah asks, ruffling my hair. "Can I come with?"

"I don't know. Can you?"

"Oh, shut up," he says, waving his hand in dismissal.

"I'm gonna go visit Mallory, Isaac and James for a little bit."

"Cool," he says. "I'll join you then. Do you know where they are?"

I laugh. "Not exactly."

"Well their location might be important information to know."

I pull out my phone and text Mallory. After a few minutes of walking with Noah, I get a response saying that they're at the pizza shop down the street.

When we get to the pizza shop, I instantly spot Mallory, Isaac and James, sitting at a table, already eating some pizza. Noah and I sit down at the table too, and it takes Mallory a moment after devouring her pizza goodness, to realize that we've sat down.

"Oh hey Lexi," she says, her voice muffled. "Hey Noah."

"How are you, Lexi?" James asks, reaching over and grabbing my hand. I try to smile and nod at him.

"I'm doing well. And you?"

"I'm good." He doesn't release my hand, and now I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable. James is nice and everything, but he's very touchy with pretty much everyone. Luckily, Noah gets the hint and reaches across the table—breaking James' hold from mine—and grabs a piece of pizza.

We all talk for a little while, but it's all just mostly small talk. I enjoy being with the guys, but I'm not really super close to either of them. James, I can't really understand. He's nice, but sometimes serious, but when he jokes, he jokes seriously, so I don't know what's a joke and what isn't. And Isaac is a really nice guy. I think he and Mallory would make a really good couple. Mal and Justin broke up right before we started school, since Justin was going to a school out-of-state and they were afraid that things would be too difficult. Things were hard for her the first few weeks, but she's okay now.

I stay longer than I expected I would, and that's probably because Noah was there with us, and I really enjoy spending time with him.

I close my eyes and breathe in. I need this. I need to get used to this. But normalcy hasn't been very normal for me in a long while.


	18. promotion & demotion

"Alexandra King, in thanks of your phenomenal service, we promote you from the title of an Agent, to the position of Detective. We thank you for your service as Agent for these many years, and wish you much luck in your new position."

Out of all the awful things that have happened throughout the past while, all the things which have broken me and beaten me until I thought I couldn't get back up again, this is something that makes me smile.

My face is surely glowing as I accept the badge of Detective King. I'm the first in my family to acquire such a title, and that knowledge just makes me smile even wider. I feel a sense of joy as I see all the people I've worked with for years looking up at me and clapping. Friends, family, people I've practically watched grow up.

Rose and Mom: only half of my biological family, but I have other family.

April and Casey stand there, clapping and smiling at me. April glances over and laughs at Casey, who is cheering my name loudly, as if he's at a football game. They've been like cousins to me, even like siblings sometimes. April has been like an older cousin, always there for me, and just the easiest person to talk to. And Casey is like an older brother: always looking for an opportunity to tease me, but also there when I need someone to listen.

I have the turtles, who look up at me each with their animated faces. Don looks like a proud older brother, and he really has been such a good friend to me. Over the time where I was being a brat to Leo (still a period of my life that I regret), I gained such a solid relationship with Donnie, and that relationship has remained.

Raph stands there, clapping as well, with also a proud look on his face, but it's different. He's got a smug smile on his face—like he knew for a fact that this would happen eventually. It looks very confident, and it gives me confidence.

Mikey is going crazy. He's jumping around, pumping his fists in the air and his shouts beat Casey's, as Mikey's practically screaming at the top of his lungs. His cute green face is animated and his grin is so wide I think it might break his face into two. When we make eye contact, his smile somehow gets wider, and he shouts even louder.

"Go Detective King! Go kick some ninja butt! And now you can cut lines like Detective Lassiter!" Mikey cries.

I laugh at his Psych-referenced joke. Whenever I have the time—for a long, long time now—Mikey and I take every opportunity to watch Psych together. It's good bonding time, and somehow, it helps him understand more what we do in the Headquarters. Not to mention, it's entertaining.

His excitement reminds me of Benjamin. I can almost see my little brother, standing next to the orange-clad turtle, having a cheering competition, seeing who could cheer for me louder. The thought makes me sad, but it also makes me smile. Because I know that he wouldn't miss this for the world.

And Leo. When I look at him, I still get those butterflies. I love him, and that hasn't gone away. As I look at him, standing there next to Mikey, grinning and clapping, I realize I haven't told him that in a while. I decide then that I need to gather the courage to do that.

He and I look at each other, and it seems like the longest time. His eyes crinkle as he smiles, then his eyes trail to look directly into mine. I smile at him, and then quickly look away, embarrassed that I've been looking at him for so long. But I can feel his stare still. And I don't mind. The fact that he still even talks to me makes me happy all in itself.

I realize now how different things are.

* * *

"You're telling me you've never owned an article of clothing that you regretting ever even looking at?" I ask April, shaking my head and laughing. "I don't think I believe you."

"It's true though! My mom never let me buy anything that she knew I would regret wearing."

"What about after you moved out?"

"By that time, I'd adopted my mom's mentality and I didn't look at anything that I thought that she'd shake her head at."

I laugh, and I catch my eye on a figure entering the room, heading straight towards the door.

"Hey Mom—"

"Lexi, I don't have time to talk. I have to go." Without another word, my mother grabs her coat, opens the apartment door and exits.

I flinch back at the quick and blunt tone in her voice. I'm really hurt at her behavior, and it's not just today. For the past few months it's been like this. And it's almost physically paining.

When I sit there—mouth agape, but no intention of speaking—my friends instantly jump into action. Everyone has a different reaction.

Casey mutters something under his breath, tightening his arm around April's shoulders. April gives me a sympathetic look, like she wants to say something encouraging or comforting, but she can't find the words. Rose looks up at me, biting her bottom lip, not saying a word. Raph mutters a, "Lexa, don't worry about it. I'm sure she don't mean to hurt ya."

Don has looked up from the experiment he and Noah are working on, and the purple-clad turtle gives me an encouraging smile from across the room. Mikey—who sits next to me—squeezes me into a death-grip hug, saying, "That was strange. Your mom didn't congratulate you at all today." Regardless of his sweet and innocent efforts, Mikey's response probably made me feel the worst, out of all of them. But I can't let him know that.

Although I'm not looking his direction, I feel Leo's presence next to me. He doesn't touch me, and he doesn't say a word. He just sits there, waiting. I haven't any idea what he's waiting for. He's just...waiting.

"I just..." I'm surprised when my voice breaks. "She never wants to even look at me anymore."

"That isn't true—" Donnie begins.

"But it is true, Donnie, and you know it."

"Why do you have to over-react about every single thing?" Rosalie pipes up for the first time pretty much all day. "Seriously. Whenever something happens, you're always the first to make a huge deal over it."

I stare at my sister for a few moments, and then shake my head slowly.

"Well I'm sorry that I care about what my mother thinks of me." Sarcasm drips from my voice.

"You really shouldn't care. She's been acting that way towards everyone and everything."

"Rosalie, she can't even look at me. What's that all about?" I run my hands through my hair and then groan.

"Whatever, Lexi. You really need to stop complaining about everything that goes wrong in your life. You bring a really negative attitude to everyone." I hear her walk away. But when I think she's gone, I hear her speak once more. "Things are sure a lot simpler when you aren't around."

Ouch.

Her words hurt more than I'm willing to let her know. I don't like letting Rosalie know when she has hurt me, because I know that she'll feel bad. She's a tender-hearted person and sensitive towards people's feelings, but for some reason, it's often different towards me. Probably because I rarely break down in front of her. She thinks I'm indestructible, even though she has seen my destruction on several occasions. She thinks I'm immovable, when people push me around constantly. And she thinks I don't have feelings because there was a period of time where I thought I didn't either. You become as you wish to seem (another proverb Dad used to carry a lot).

I don't look up until I know that she's out of the room. And I only know that because I hear her bedroom door close, not quiet enough to be casual, but not with enough force to be slamming it.

I look up for a brief second, but then hang my head once more. Everything happened so quickly that I don't know whose fault it even is. I begin to silently debate whether I should talk about it or pretend nothing happened.

Apparently, there is no real need for talking. All conversation ceases, but the noises continue. I listen for those noises, in hopes that they'll distract me from my thoughts. For a few brief moments, they do.

I can hear April's nails tapping on her phone as she types. Donnie and Noah are silently continuing to work on their experiment, at the table. I hear the bumps of elbows at the table and the sounds of metals clashing together accidentally. The sound of the impact of Raph's fist hitting the pillow as he repeatedly throws it up into the air and catches it. Mikey has brought one of his video games from the lair, and I hear the default music playing. Out of all the sounds, Mikey's soothes me the most. It makes things seem normal. It makes me feel like every aspect of my life _isn't_ falling apart.

Wow, maybe Rose is right. Award to the most Cynical Pessimist goes to me. What an accomplishment.

One by one, the others leave until it's only me, Leo and Mikey.

"Lexi," Leo says softly.

I don't respond.

He sighs. "Lex."

"Why does my entire family seem to be against me right now?" I say with more force than I mean to.

I think I scare Mikey because he jumps a little, and slowly turns his head towards me, but then pauses. He recognizes that this conversation is between me and Leo. So he continues with his game, but with a cautious pose.

"What makes you think that?"

"My mom never wants to see me, neither does my sister. My mother seems to think I'm a disgrace and my sister thinks I'm a pessimistic nuisance."

Silence—besides Mikey's video games, which both Leo and I have tuned out—fills the room. After just a few brief moments of feeling emotionally cold, I feel his arms wrap around me tightly.

And that's all I need to know that I want him to hold me forever and never let go. I want to kiss him. I want him to be mine once more. I wish to be able to laugh and smile with him, as I used to. But as time goes on, things seem to get harder and harder. We aren't the same as we were when we met.

"It's almost a year," I mumble into his shoulder.

Leo pulls away slightly, but still somehow manages to hold onto me.

"Hm?"

"Almost one year since we met," I say once more. I lift my hand up to stroke his face, but then I stop myself. I'm still not sure if he even feels the same way anymore: how can I even risk such a move?

The words he says next changes my mind about my lack of risks.

"The best year of my entire life."

His face is rough, but familiar as I place my hand on his cheek and smile softly. He smiles back. Such a beautiful smile. A smile that I've frightened away so many times. A smile that I love.

"Um...if you guys wanna kiss or something, I can leave..." Mikey says awkwardly. He has paused his video game and is scratching the back of his neck.

Leo and I both laugh in unison. They aren't fake laughs or laughs of pity. They aren't forced or molded in anyway. They're genuine and they're true. They're slightly sheepish, and sort of cheeky. My hand drops from Leo's face and I lean onto his shoulder, still laughing. Leo smiles down at me and chuckles some more.

Neither of us deny Mikey's proposal.

The orange-clad turtle grins a little bit, with now a little mischievous glint in his eyes.

"I'll even turn around," he says, turning around and covering his eyes. "I won't be able to hear you smooching now."

"Mikey, there are so many errors in that statement," I say, laughing.

"Like the fact that you now hear with your eyes," Leo adds.

Mikey groans and shakes his head. He turns back towards us slightly. "Are you gonna kiss or what? I'm not gonna stand like this all day."

"It's night."

Mikey groans again, and shakes his head to himself. "Smart alec..."

I laugh, but then my laughter dies down. I glance over at the blue-clad turtle, and he looks at me. The turtle whom I am so madly in love with, even after all this time.

His hazel eyes bear into mine and my stomach does flips. He still seems to be searching my face for a few moments, but then he pauses. His hand slowly—very, very slowly—reaches up towards my cheek. His hand is warm and comforting and he places it on my cheek. I bite my lip and look down for a few moments, feeling my face heat up. His thumb rubs against my face a few times, and it's when I look up, that I find him leaning in.

Just a few inches. I can hear his breathing and I even think that I hear his heartbeat. Or maybe that's my heartbeat. All I know is that I want to be close to him right now. And it seems he wants the same.

I'm centimeters from his lips. My mind is in ten billion places right now.

My phone rings.

The abruptness of the phone call makes both of us jump. Part of me just wants to take his face and quickly kiss it, but I've already pulled away. I feel myself blush an extreme amount, and yet I can't look away from his eyes. I can now see he is breathing quickly. So am I.

I finally break our eye contact, and look down at my phone. It's Sam.

"It's my roommate..." I mumble. "She's never called me before."

"Well maybe you should answer," Mikey says, turning back around.

Without another moment of hesitation, I answer the call.

"Hello?"

"Lexi." Sam's voice is quiet and I can hardly hear it.

"Sam?"

"Lexi, where are you right now?" She's whispering.

"At my old place..." I begin, shaking my head. "Sam, why are you whispering?"

There are a few moments of hesitation, and some movement.

"Someone's here," she whispers. "In the dorm."

"Who? Are you sure it isn't—"

"Mallory is at her old place, and Andrea is on a date."

"Were all the doors locked?"

"I don't know. I don't remember." Her whispers seem to be getting softer and more distant. "I don't know...I don't...I don't remember."

"It's okay, Sam..." I say. "Just try to stay calm. Where are you right now?"

"You know that closet over by the hallway to the kitchen?" She pauses. "Over there."

"Where is the intruder? Did you see anyone?"

"Hold on."

Silence. I hear some moving around again. Shuffling, and some more movement. This goes on for several minutes. I realize quickly that I've been holding onto Leo's arm, and that he's been stroking my hand with his other hand. I look up at him, and bite my lip. A look of concern covers the entirety of his face. Without thinking about it too much, I take his hand and enclose it in mine.

Minutes go by. Five minutes have gone by, and I begin to doubt that she's even still on the line. I'm beginning to get really, really worried. Leo feels my tension and squeezes my hand tightly. I squeeze his hand back. My foot begins to tap rapidly.

More shuffling. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah," I say, releasing a breath I didn't know I've been holding in. "What happened? Why were you gone for so long?"

"I was trying to see if I could peek through the door and check out who it might be. I don't recognize them, but they don't look like thugs, Lexi. They're like...like ninjas almost, but not. You've gotta get down here right now. This isn't good. This really, really isn't good." She sounds out of breath. And she sounds terrified.

The Dark Angels.

No.

No..

No, they are not doing this.

I try to keep my cool. "Should I bring backup?"

"Backup from who?"

I bite my tongue when I remember—after the fact—that Samantha doesn't know about the turtles.

"I mean, do you think I should like call the police or something?"

"I did, like ten minutes ago. Nobody has showed up."

"Samantha, you need to be as quiet as you possibly can. In fact, please, don't say another word. Stay on the line, but don't speak. I don't want to risk them hearing you."

"Lex, they haven't heard me yet, I'll be fine." But she sounds terrified.

"Please just don't say another word. Stay on the line though. I don't want you to get hurt," I plead.

Silence.

"Sam?"

Nothing.

"Okay, well, stay on the line, okay? Thank you for not speaking. I just...I just really don't want to see you hurt. I don't have a good feeling about this."

A few seconds pass.

The line is disconnected.

* * *

The Headquarters doesn't seem as crowded as it used to. It feels dead. Less busy, less active...less familiar. More foreign. It doesn't seem like a 2nd home anymore.

"Detective King, we need you over here," A voice calls. I look up at my friends and bite my lip. It's going to take getting used to, hearing that title. Even though as a kid, I could only dream of being addressed that way.

I leave my conversation with the turtle brothers with a wave.

"So from the looks of it, there isn't a forced entry," I hear as I walk over to the group huddled together around a table. "No forced entry, nothing seems to have been tampered with. The only real evidence is that we have a missing person."

Detective O'Connor smiles at me, as she sees me approaching. I smile back. I've always looked up to Detective O'Connor, or Angela. She's the kindest and wisest Detective I've ever met. I really aspire to be like her.

"Detective, please tell us what you know."

It took me a few moments to realize they were talking to me. And I only realized because they were all staring at me.

"Well," I begin, sitting down. "Samantha called me, saying she was hiding in the closet. She said there were people in the house. She disappeared from the conversation for a few minutes, and then returned. She described the people she saw as wearing dark clothing, sort of like ninjas, but not. I kept telling her to stop talking, but stay on the line. Then the line was just...it was cut off, I think. The call was ended."

"What was the last thing she said to you?"

"Um..." I search my mind for her exact last words. "I think she had told me not to worry. She was just...she was insistent that they weren't going to hear her."

Detective O'Connor nods her head, and glances at the other Detectives. "Does anyone have any input?"

A guy with short, curly black hair raises his hand quietly, the slightest bit.

"Detective Rasmussen, what's your proposal?"

He holds out his hand in my direction. "May I see your phone? I have an idea..."

When I hand him my phone, he nods in thanks. He looks at it for a few moments, and then pulls out a few cords, and plugs my phone in. After a few minutes of waiting, he bites his lip again and raises his eyes up at me.

"Your phone was being tracked."

He speaks so quickly that I hardly hear him.

"Excuse me?"

"During the time period where you were on the phone with Samantha, it was under normal circumstances. But at about 7:12 PM, her phone was being used to track yours." He jots down some of the information he has found, and then unplugs my phone, handing it back to me. "How long had you been on the phone with her for, before she disappeared for a few minutes?"

"Like...I don't know...maybe five minutes?" I say. "She called but there was some movement and shuffling for a few minutes, so we didn't talk for long."

"My conclusion is that it was just her on the phone for a little bit." He pauses. "I think after she was gone for a bit, she was caught. The Dark Angels were probably making her stay on the phone for longer because they wanted to track your cell."

"But...they cut the line off at a certain point. Why would they do that if they hadn't tracked me yet?"

There is a silence.

"King," one detective says gravely. "I think your friend risked her life for your safety."

"Ugh!" I throw my hands into the air in frustration. "People need to stop doing that!"

"We've gotten a few leads on where their new Headquarters might be. But we can't be sure that your friend would be there. In fact...we can't be sure she's anywhere at this point."

I bite my lip and look down. I know exactly what she means. If Sam risked her life for me, in front of the Dark Angels, there is a slim chance that she is alive.

My throat becomes extremely dry and I know I have to get out of here as soon as possible. I can't risk crying in front of all the Detectives. So I just sit here and wait to be dismissed. And it's honestly one of the most difficult moments of my life. Thoughts are attacking my brain at all angles and I can just sit here and take it.

After what seems like forever, Detective O'Connor dismisses us. But before I can even stand up, she stops us.

"Wait." She turns to me. "Detective, we forgot to announce this earlier today. Your Detective Partner will be Detective Nicholas Rasmussen."

I lock eyes with the dark haired boy who had tracked on my phone that someone had been tracking me. I smile at him, and he smiles timidly back. These would be exciting circumstances, if it weren't for the actual circumstances.

* * *

"You aren't to speak with him, or look at him, or breathe in his direction. Have I made myself clear?"

Yes, she's certainly made herself clear.

"Mom," I begin slowly, standing up, with my arms crossed. "I know it's going to be really difficult to have him back around. But all our lives, you've taught us to forgive. You've taught us that—"

"Well forget what I taught you." Her voice comes off as bitter, and I think she feels bad about it because her face softens. "I'm sorry, girls...I just..." She closes her eyes, and shakes her head. "I don't know what's gotten into me."

Rose's face softens as our mother's does. She stands up, and proceeds towards Mom. My sister puts her hand on Mom's arm gently.

"I know this is going to be difficult for you. Keep in mind that it's going to be difficult and strange for all of us." Mom smiles at my sister, and I try not to feel bad for myself. How is it that Rosalie can make her smile, and I no longer can?

"So since he comes home in three days, I was thinking about—"

"Thinking about what?" Mom turns to me once more, with that bitter look. "Letting him stay here?"

I'm taken aback at her sudden change of attitude towards the situation. Trying to recover from my shock, I recompose myself and stand up straighter.

"Yes, I was thinking that. But I mean, if it makes you uncomfortable, then I don't see why he can't stay somewhere else," I say reasonably.

"I don't see why we have to even let him _near_ the apartment," Mom says, incredulously.

"Mom, you didn't speak to him when he was here. He explained himself. He was sorry. He doesn't want to hurt us. If you'd have spoken with him, you would've seen..." I try so hard to defend him, but our mother won't listen to me.

"There is no way I'm going to let him near you girls, ever again. He did nothing but damage our family. We've lost so many people because of him. Benjamin! You lost your brother, Lexi! My only son, I lost!" she exclaims, shaking her head and looking at me as if it's my fault.

"None of that was Dad's fault, Mom, and you know it."

"Oh really?" She laughs without humor. "If he hadn't have left us—"

"Mom, you didn't listen to him!"

"I didn't need to listen to him! I know exactly what happened!"

"No, you don't. You don't know anything!"

"You can get out!" Mom shrieks.

"This is my apartment too!"

"Not anymore. You aren't even supposed to be here, Little-Miss-College! Go on home! You left us a long time ago." These words—as they come out of my mother's mouth—sting every inch of my body.

I stand there, staring at her for a few moments. I look to my sister.

Rosalie—for the first time in so, so long—looks absolutely torn. Usually she just takes Mom's side instantly, regardless of the sense she's making. But standing here, in this moment, Rose's dark brown eyes look lost. Her face is breaking and her eyes seem panicked. I don't expect her to say anything, but part of me wishes she would. And right now, it isn't that she agrees with Mom: it's clear that she doesn't. But she doesn't want to see how Mom would react to her acting up too.

So she remains silent. But her eyes aren't silent. And her face isn't silent. And her hands—clenched, and rubbing her arms—nothing about that is silent.

My feet take me to the lair. It feels more like home than my apartment has in a long time.

Raph is lying on the couch, with a pillow over his face, snoring loudly. Don is working at a table nearby the television, glancing up every once in a while, but mostly focusing on his project. His forehead in creased in concentration and his mouth is slightly agape. Mikey sits next to Leo on the couch, watching T.V. Leo and Mikey are having a conversation about the show they're watching, which is Psych.

None of them notice I've entered the lair.

"Look, all I'm saying is I think Jules and Lassiter might be a nice couple together," Leo says, holding his hands up in defense. "There isn't anything wrong with having an opinion."

Mikey stuffs a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "Yeah." He scoffs. "Except for the fact that your opinion is wrong."

"An opinion can't be wrong," Leo defends. "It's an opinion."

"It can be when your opinion defies fact."

"What? You're just making stuff up now." Leo pauses. "And stop hogging the popcorn." He reaches for the bowl, and Mikey curls up instantly and hugs the bowl. A few pieces of popcorn fly out of the bowl and land on the ground.

"Go make your own."

"Very funny, Mikey." Leo reaches for it again.

"Go on, Leo. Do it. Go make some popcorn." Mikey snickers, popping some more into his own mouth and grinning.

"Mikey," Don looks up from his experiment, taking off his goggles. "It isn't nice to tease the disabled."

"I am not disabled!" Leo defends, his voice getting high and defensive. It makes me laugh.

"You're disabled in the arts of the kitchen," Mikey says, snickering and finishing up the bowl of popcorn. He hands Leo the empty bowl. "Here ya go, sport."

"Thanks." Leo grimaces. "Just what I wanted: a bowl slathered in butter, cheese and pepper. Compliments to the chef..."

Donnie sighs and looks over at the orange-clad turtle. "Mikey, did you put shredded cheese on your popcorn again? You know how badly that stuff sticks to the bowl!"

"Not when you rinse it off right away!" Mikey says defensively, waving his hand in dismissal.

"Yeah, but who's going to rinse it off right away?" Leo asks, raising his eye ridges.

Mikey stares at the blue-clad turtle for a few moments, and then pounces at him, locking his arms around his brother, squeezing his eyes shut and smiling up at him.

"You are, my beautiful big brother, because you love me more than almost anything in the whole entire world." He pauses. "Except maybe Lexi. I think you love her more."

Leo laughs, amused, and scratches his younger brother's head. "I do love you, baby brother. But that doesn't mean I'm going to scrape the cheese off the bottom of the popcorn bowl. Although I will in fact stand from afar and be your moral support."

"Can we give you pom-poms?" Donnie asks, raising his eye-ridges. "I'd sure like to see Leo with Pom-Poms."

Mikey groans and looks over at the red-clad turtle, who is still fast asleep. Suddenly, the youngest turtle flops to the ground and crawls over to the couch where Raph lies. He reaches out a few times before finally shaking him awake.

"Raph...Raph...Raph...Raphie..." Mikey says quietly, shaking his brother. "Raph..."

Raph begins to stir, and mumble. "I don't want any kernels..." he mutters, shaking his head and turning away.

"Raph...Raph...Raphie..." Mikey tries again.

"What, Mikey?" he mumbles, not opening his eyes.

"Do you love me?"

There is a silence.

"Sometimes," he mutters. "Now shut up, will ya?"

Mikey turns back to his brothers. "That means he'll probably do it," he whispers. "I'm gonna ask him."

"No," Don begins. "That means he _might_ do it."

"You guys would be the best reality show ever," I say finally, smiling, leaning again the wall with my arms crossed.

"Lexi?" Leo looks up at me, surprised. "How long have you been here for?"

"A while."

"Lexi!" Mikey shouts, jumping up and springing towards me.

Raph is so startled, he nearly falls off the couch. When he realizes it was just Mikey, he groans and picks up a pillow, chucking it at the youngest turtle.

"Well now everyone knows who's here." Raph yawns. "Hey Lexa."

"What's up?" Don asks, setting his project down and looking back up at me.

I grimace, and don't respond. But I guess my facial response is enough of an answer.

"Things at home?"

"Eh..."

"Your dad comes home in a few days, doesn't he?" Leo asks, tilting his head. "Is it about that?"

I sigh. The smile that was on my face has now vanished.

"Look...things have just been more stressful than they were before. I don't know exactly what happened."

"As life goes on, Alexandra, the stronger the storms will become. Never let it get the best of you." The wise old rat's voice makes me smile. I turn around and face Master Splinter. His eyes are warm and gentle. I wish I saw eyes like that more often.

"Thank you, Splinter."

I spend a while here, in the lair. Things seem so normal here. And that worries me, because I am in the home of four teenage mutant ninja turtles and their rat father. The normalcy in it would make me seem insane.

The later it gets, the more exhausted the turtles seem. But they still stay up. I begin to wonder why.

It's when Raph almost falls asleep with a pizza halfway into his mouth, and Donnie's head is almost impaled by his screwdriver, that I speak up.

"You guys are obviously really tired," I begin. "Why don't you just go to sleep?"

Leo yawns and then looks over at me. "We never get to see you anymore. It's been forever since you've come to visit us in the lair. You don't usually have the time to."

"Well trust me, I'll be making the time more often. It isn't worth you guys losing your sleep over, believe me," I say, smiling. It does make me feel good about myself that they care so much to stay up as late as they can just for me.

"Promise?" Mikey says, as he yawns a loud, big yawn.

I laugh and nod. "I'm absolutely, 100% sure. I promise."

"Well," Raph says, clapping his hands once. "I ain't gonna stay around then. G'night, Lexa. Hope ya feel better, about whatever it was ya were worryin' about. We love ya, remember that, okay?" Raph gives me a short hug, and then before any of us could blink more than a few times, he's gone.

Those words—coming from Raph—really mean a lot to me.

Don packs up his project, and passes by me as well, giving me a hug too.

"Goodnight, Lexi. Raph's right. We do love you."

Mikey tackles me in a hug, almost squeezing the life out of me.

"I love you sooooooooo much, Lexi! You're my best friend!" Mikey exclaims.

I laugh. "Love ya too, Mikester. Get some sleep, okay? Maybe I can come by after school tomorrow, and after work."

"That'd be awesome!" he exclaims, grabbing another slice of pizza. "Night, babe."

"Goodnight, Mikey."

"And then there were two," Leo says from beside me, smiling.

"You should get some sleep too, Leo," I say, smiling back at him. "I saw some yawns over there. Don't pretend like you aren't tired."

"I'm not pretending." His voice sounds sleepy and his eyes look like they're struggling to be kept open. It's actually really cute.

"Hey," I say, laughing a little bit. "I kinda already promised Mikey I'd stop by here tomorrow. You'll see me tomorrow."

"But I want to see you right now."

"You are seeing me right now."

"But..." He doesn't say anything after that. He just sits there, with a tired smile on his face.

I bite my lip and stroke his hand softly.

"I promise, Leonardo. I will try my very best to come over and hang out with you guys. My very best."

He sits there for a few moments, with his eyes half-opened. Then, within seconds, his eyes are wide open again, and he's looking directly at me.

"Lexi," he says softly. "What happened tonight?"

I'm silent for a few moments.

He waits.

I take a deep breath.

He waits some more.

I close my eyes and bite my tongue to keep from crying, as I think back at the memory of just a few hours ago.

His hands wrap around mine.

That helps me speak.

"My dad..." I swallow. "My dad is coming home in three days. My mom was...upset about it. She still doesn't want us to have anything to do with him." I pause and bite my lip. "She just...she doesn't understand, Leo. She didn't speak with him. She doesn't know."

Leo rubs my hands against his own. It's comforting.

"I mentioned something about him staying at our apartment. She didn't like the idea and she got angry. She said some really hurtful things..." I close my eyes and shake my head. "...and then I said some things I didn't mean..." I take a deep breath. "Leo...I don't belong there anymore. She doesn't want me there. And she hasn't for a while."

"What makes you think that?"

"Other than the fact that she said it?"

"A moment of anger costs a thousand moments of regret."

I laugh in spite of the situation. "You're a walking proverb."

"I blame you," he says, smiling.

I open my eyes my eyes and offer a weak smile back.

"I just...I don't know what to do. I feel like I belong here more than I belong there."

"Do you think it's because Benj is gone?"

"I think it's because everyone is gone," I say, laughing without humor. "Mom, she's gone. Rosalie is practically gone. Dad is gone, although not for long. And Benj...yes, he's gone. I'm gone, in a way."

"Not to me." Those three words make me look at him incredulously and thoughtfully.

"Leo...I left you for so many months. I...I betrayed you."

"You never betrayed me, Lexi."

"I didn't stand by you either."

"I should've fought harder to keep you."

"Leo..."

"Listen to me, Lexi, okay?" His hazel eyes sink into mine and I feel weak suddenly. All I can do is nod. He stops stroking my hands, but now just holds them firmly.

"Ever since day one, you have been a blessing in my life. You showed me how to be stronger. Better. Kinder. More genuine." He pauses, thinking. "Those months that you...as you put it 'left me'...I only felt like I wanted to be near you more. I couldn't, and I respected that. But those months didn't make me want to leave behind everything. It only made me want to be by your side even more. Regardless of whether you wanted me to be there for you." He swallows. "Because..." He pauses again. "Because..." He looks at me. Studies my face, for a few long, long moments. "Because, Lexi...because I love you."

My breath catches in my throat. I continue to look at him, with my mouth slightly agape. Thoughts are swirling through my head, and I can't sort them out properly. I can't think. I can't speak. I can't move.

Well I guess I can move. Because I lean in and I kiss him.

He doesn't reject it. Not even a little bit.

My arms wrap tightly around his neck and they tighten as he pushes me forward deeper into the couch with passion. His arms wrap around my waist and he kisses me with more eagerness than I think he's ever kissed me with. I feel his fingers caress my hips. His lips are a foreign canvas that I used to know so well. And I can finally paint again.

I take another breath and whisper those words back to him.

"I love you too, Leonardo."

 **A/N: I know, I know, this was a pretty long chapter. And definitely not my best piece of writing. But it's late and I'm ~sleep deprived~ so this is what we get for now. I promise it'll get better haha I'll edit it later and make it much better. But for now this is what we're working with.**

 **Emmeline is definitely acting weird...but why? Is it because she's missing Benj? Is it because her husband's sentence is almost up? Is it because of climate change? WE WILL NEVER KNOW (actually that's a lie, we will know, I promise I know where this story is going, there is a METHOD TO MY MADNESS).**

 **Yessss Leo and Lexi did kiss bUT wAIT their relationship is still complicated, they're not back together but there is definitely that weird tension going on so like ~something~ needed to be done about that. There will be more where that came from but we must be patient(:**

 **Thank you for reading this, and staying with me thus far. If you are new to the story and this is the first chapter you're reading, my goodness you are probably so lost, please read the other two books because none of this will make sense otherwise.**

 **Alright guys, I'll see you next update(: love you all. take care of yourselves**


	19. Pieces

"Do you have everything?" I ask, as I glance behind me to see if my sister is still there to make sure she hasn't changed her mind. But I'm comforted and feel a little more secure when I see that she's right behind me. She has a gentle, almost half-hearted smile resting on her face. She looks a little tired, but still manages to maintain her stunning beauty. Her hair is perfect as always, and her makeup is perfect. I already know that she looks so much better than I do. Not that I care much, anyway.

"What time is he released?" Before I'm given the chance to answer my sister's question, an uninvited visitor pops up.

"Who?"

Rose and I both freeze. From my peripheral vision, I see Rose turn towards my mother. I don't though. Whether it's out of fear or shame, or maybe a childish sense of shunning, I just stand there, facing the door. I don't want to look over.

Rose tenses up. "No one."

I almost laugh in spite of the situation. Rosalie carries on the 'Awful Liar' legacy in the King family children. We're all awful liars, no matter how hard we try to perfect ourselves in the skill. Not that it's a very good skill to have in the first place.

"Just...uh..." Rose tries to find another thing to say. I would help her if it weren't for the fact that I'd probably make the situation even worse and then we'd have two really awful liars, stuttering and making lame excuses. I don't really want to double the awkwardness of this situation.

"Where are you going, Rosalie?" Mom always targets Rose in situations like this because she knows that my sister is not only an awful liar, but she panics when she's put on the spot. She doesn't want to be in trouble. I don't blame her though.

Rose stares at Mom, with wide eyes and a slightly frightened look on her face. But she's trying to be brave: she's tensing up a little bit and her face twitches every few moments, as she struggles to keep a brave face on.

I can't take it.

"We're going to meet Dad," I say. "He's released today."

Mom's stare doesn't linger on Rose for another moment. It's now fixed on me. I'm shaken up a bit by it, but I try to hold my ground.

Mom looks a mix of exasperated and upset. "Alexandra, I told you how I feel about you going to meet up with him! I don't know what you girls don't understand."

"You don't understand, Mom," I say, almost pleadingly. "Please, just give him a chance. You won't even hear him out. You won't even listen. You won't even try to understand!"

Her beady eyes bore into mine for what feels like eternity.

"Go."

Silence.

I stare back at her. "What?"

"Go. Before I change my mind." The tone she says it in clearly states that she doesn't want us to go, at all. But something inside me says she doesn't want us to stay either.

I look at her for a brief moment, and then it hurts to do so. I open the door and hurry out, hoping my sister can catch up with me.

My feet take me down the flights of stairs quickly, and I can barely hear Rosalie's little feet following. A gust of wind welcomes me at the bottom.

I can't anymore. I hate fighting with her, more than almost anything. I love my mom. I hate how things have been the past few months. I hate it so much. My mind can't understand what happened. A beautiful, healthy relationship between mother and daughter transformed to a monstrous association. And it wasn't one big thing that made that transformation...I think it was a collection of little things that added up to big things.

When I climb inside the car, I'm given the time to look at my surroundings.

Orange, red and brown, everywhere. The streets seem to glow with a reddish aura of leaves and new beginnings. Even though it's close to when the sun should be setting, there isn't a beautiful disarray of colors in the sky, like there usually is. Instead, the air is misty and the sky is pale and colorless, like it usually would be during the wintertime. It's strange, but refreshing nonetheless. It's just as beautiful as the normal sunsets are.

I feel bad for leaving Rosalie in the dust, but this beauty and silence is nice, even if it's just for a little bit.

When my sister climbs into the car, I pause for a moment before I start the engine. I wanted to look at the beauty longer, but I know that Dad is getting released soon, and I don't want him to think that nobody was looking forward to it.

The prison is about ten miles from our apartment complex, so we have to hurry if we want to make it there by 6:30 PM. But the rush-hour traffic is still going, and I begin to worry that we won't be there on time.

"Lexi, it's okay," Rose soothes. "We'll make it. You're doing the best you can."

I bite my lip and feel my forehead crinkle up. "I don't want him to think we forgot about him..."

I want to listen to music, but I'm so anxious that I can't help but turn it down when Rose turns on the radio.

I give my sister an apologetic look. "Sorry..."

She laughs a little bit. "Lexi, you are the biggest worry wart I've ever met in my entire life."

"I have good reason to worry!"

"Well, right now you do, but usually your reasons are stupid."

I grimace. "Thanks."

My phone buzzes from beside me. The light turns green, so I don't have the chance to glance down at my phone.

"A little green turtle texted you," Rose says, picking up my phone. "Want me to respond?'

That makes me smile. "Depends on which one."

"The one that's in love with you."

"There's a little green turtle in love with me?"

Rosalie groans.

I laugh. "What did he say?"

"He said, 'Lexi, I'm in love with you. Please marry me. We can buy a dog and name it Loki, like you've always dreamed.'"

"Awesome." I glance over at my little sister. "Now what did he really say?"

Rose laughs. "He said, 'Hey, Lexi. I hope you're doing well. Have you seen your dad yet? Tell me how that went/goes. I hope to talk to you soon.'"

"Aw," I say. "Let me text him back."

"No," she says. "You're driving."

"But I wanna text him back!"

"And I want to live," she responds, raising her eyebrows. "I'll text him. What do you want me to say?"

"No, you'll do it wrong!"

"How on earth will I do it wrong?" Rose asks, looking slightly amused.

"You might capitalize the wrong things, and put incorrect punctuation!"

"Lexi, I'm sixteen. I know the correct etiquette of texting."

"But he'll know it's you and not me."

She groans again. "You're so fanatical, you know that?"

When we arrive at the prison, the sky is still pale, but it seems to be getting darker and darker. Clouds blanket the sky and what would normally be a sunset is now just a blank space.

We rush into the jail, and when I ask to see Jaxon King, they tell us that he was released ten minutes ago. I try not to freak out, and Rose and I leave the jail to look outside and see if he's anywhere to be found.

She and I survey the area, and search the parking lot frantically. Well, I'm the one searching frantically. Rose is acting like a normal human being, and I'm sort of spazzing out. We search for about ten minutes, and still can't find him.

"Maybe he started walking," Rose says. "Let's get in the car and go look. We'll cover more ground that way."

We both rush back to the car and I start the engine before Rose has even finished getting in. The sky is getting darker and darker by the minute. It's almost seven at night.

"It's getting dark, Rose..."

"We'll find him. Let's just start driving. Come on, turn left here."

I do what she asks, and we both scan the area, looking for him. She looks on the sidewalks and I stare straight ahead, trying to see if I can find anyone walking from far ahead. The sun has almost set by now, and I bite my tongue to keep from saying something that would make the situation even more stressful.

"I think I see him. Over there!" Rose points out, and I follow her gaze.

In the darkening night, we've reached Central Park. There are couples and families walking and taking strolls throughout the park, but there's a figure standing by the warmth of a small fire over near the trees.

"What makes you think that's him?" I ask, looking closer. We can't see the front of the figure: just the side.

"He looks so...out of place."

When we approach the figure, Rose and I walk with our arms linked together. Neither of us is absolutely positive yet if this is our dad, and we've both had a lot of experience in the art of getting kidnapped. I'm usually a huge target for the major killer ones. Lucky me.

But as we close in on the figure, I recognize him. The way he stands. The hard look on his face, that didn't used to be so hard. Now it's more of a confused look than anything. I recognize this just as he looks up at us.

I'm silently hoping Rose will have something to say. Anything! I dread this moment so much: just three familiar, yet distant faces staring at one another, in absolute silence, in the darkening evening in New York City. Why can't I think of anything to say? I glance over at Rose, but she doesn't look back at me. Just looks at our father.

One word comes out of my mouth. And the three faces (including my own) can't help but laugh at the word.

"Hi."

The awkwardness dies down within about ten minutes, and that shocks me a lot. But I don't complain about it, nor do I comment on it. I possess the skill of making awkward that weren't originally awkward.

We talk with him. Really, talk with him. The range of conversation is pretty broad, and that's nice. None of us feel under the pressure to deeply discuss the death of Benj, or thoroughly converse about our friendships with the turtles. Instead, we discuss the color of the sky. We talk about the way the people across the street from McDonald's neglect their lawn, and how the grass has died. We critique to ourselves the lack of enthusiasm of the sign twirler for "Rodney's Pizza Parlor".

"He looks like he's so done with everyone right now," I say, shaking my head. "I wish he'd listen to some music, like some sign twirlers do. Maybe that would pump up the party for him."

"He's glaring at the entire world. Poor Rodney," Rose says, shaking her head as well.

"Should we go eat there?" Dad asks, glancing at the pizza parlor, as we come to a stop at the stop light.

"Out of pity? Or desperation?" Rose asks.

We all turn to look at the boy, frowning, glaring into his cell phone, holding the sign that reads: "Rodney's Pizza Parlor: 30% off any pizza you buy, until Saturday, October 10th".

"Out of hunger," Dad says. "Or the fact that the pizza is 30% off until October 10th. And today is October 10th."

We park in the lot of the pizza parlor, and get out. As we enter the building, the delicious smell of dough and cheese and ovens reminds us that you can't judge a book by its cover.

"Now let's see if it tastes as good as it smells," Dad says, and the three of us make our way to the front counter.

We order a cheese pizza, and decide to eat it inside, because even though it's just chilly outside, we're still Californians at heart. And anything below 60 degrees is considered cold.

The parlor isn't the nicest, but I still feel comfortable here. The red and blue paint is peeling off the walls, the wooden tables are chipping at the corners, and the colors in the parlor seem to be dull, and fading away. It's an old place. With the exception of us, there are probably about three or four other people in here.

But I like it. I like that it isn't perfect. It shows that once upon a time, it used to be. Perfectly painted, perfectly sculpted, and full of life. That once upon a time must've been sometime ago (or according to the menus, since 1955). The employees look tired and worn-out, but not of a long day of work. More like exhausted in a manner of trying to keep up the bills, or keep the place running. Thinking back on it, Mr. Sunshine Sign Twirler on the sidewalk had the exact same look, the exact same aura. I immediately feel bad for making fun of him.

I think I like it here because it's a good representation of my life. No, not the pizza...although, when you've got the turtles in your life, pizza is a sole representation of life itself. But it's the faded colors, and the chipping tables, and the peeling paint. The workers who are tired and worn-out, yet they still keep going because whether or not you get up, or stay down, the sun is going to rise and life goes on. These are all symbolic, in a way, to my life. And especially since we just got Dad back. It wouldn't make sense to go to some extravagant restaurant to feed him. Because we aren't some extravagant family right now...not at all. We're still broken, but we're being mended. Mended through more brokenness, but the idea that brokenness can be mended. Brokenness and pizza. Everyone needs to start somewhere, and take those little steps. Our first step is a broken, worn-down pizza parlor.

Right as we're beginning to dig in, I get a phone call. It's Mom. I think about not answering it, but then I think about how I really want to mend my relationship with my mother. And I highly doubt that ignoring her calls would do the trick.

"I'll be right back," I say, standing up and heading to the side of the pizza parlor, to answer the phone. The shop is so quiet that if they wanted to, Dad and Rose could listen to my conversation. But I'm grateful to find that they're talking, when I look over at them. I smile, but my smile immediately fades when I hear Mom's first words.

"Where do you suppose you're going to take him?"

"Who?" I lower my voice. "Dad?"

"Yes. Your father."

I notice the way she doesn't say "Your dad." Or "Dad." Like she used to. It's "Your father." As if he doesn't deserve the title of my dad. I just brush it off. Maybe it's just me being overly observant.

"Well...I'm not exactly sure." Somehow, I dare to say what I've been thinking, and I begin to regret it before I've even finished saying it. "I was thinking that maybe he could stay with us."

She scoffs. "Lexi, I can't believe you're saying that."

"Well I mean what else are we supposed to do? We can't just leave him on the streets!" I hold my breath, waiting for her to say something despicable about how we should do exactly that.

"I know, Lexi." She pauses, and I feel bad for thinking her to be a cruel human, when she isn't. She's just hurt. I need to stop underestimating people. "But we don't need to bring him home either." My heart lightens a little when she says something else that kind of shocks me. "At least not this soon."

This is one of the most reasonable things she's said in a while. It makes my head hurt, because I don't know where she stands on this whole issue. I know she's clearly hurt with Dad, but the fact that she doesn't want to just leave him to fend for himself shows that she still cares.

"Well do you think the turtles would take him?" It's a dumb question, and I know it. But for some reason, today of all days, I'm not too scared to say what's on my mind. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

"No, I don't think so." She says this in a matter-of-fact manner. "Would you want the man who has been trying to kill your family for years, to be living with you?"

I don't answer, because I don't know. And even though I'm a writer, and perspective is my forte, I can't seem to put myself into the turtles' situation right now. Because in a way, I can't even put myself into my own situation.

When I don't answer, Mom sighs. "Lexi, you got yourself into this mess."

"I got myself into this mess?" I say, slightly surprised at her words. "Mom, what else was I supposed to do?"

She doesn't respond.

We sit here, silence puncturing the air, waiting for someone to know what to say.

"Well you need to figure it out soon. It's getting late. Don't bring him home. And don't ask the turtles to babysit him either. Don't do that to them. There's only so much they can take of this, Lexi." And with that, she hangs up.

The sound of the line cutting off—the three short beeping noises that indicates the sound of someone hanging up on you—hits my in the heart. But I keep the phone to my ear, because I don't want Dad and Rose to know I'm done with the call. I don't want to have to go back there, with no idea of what to do.

I have to be responsible. I have no other choice.

I quickly leave to stand outside the front of the parlor. The building is way too quiet, and I know that Rosalie and Dad would certainly be able to hear my words, and see the distress in my face. Outside, in the dark, nobody can see my facial expressions.

The ringer sounds three times before a familiarly comforting voice answers. His simple voice caresses my worries and I know everything will be okay.

"Leo." The only word I can get out, and it comes out more like a croak. I fear that I'm going to cry, but I set my jaw and stand my ground. I can't cry. Crying won't solve anything right now. I'm an adult. It's time I begin acting like one.

"Is everything okay?" I don't respond, in fear that I'll croak again. "Lexi?"

"Can we bring my dad to the lair?" My words are quick and scrambled together. I actually cover my mouth once I say them, but this doesn't retrieve them. I've said it.

 _Wow, Lexi._ I think. Way to go. _You're smart._

Leo doesn't respond, so I continue, trying to make it better.

"I mean..." I pause. "I mean, you don't have to. It's just that we don't have anywhere to bring him and we just picked him up and we're at a pizza parlor but then my mom called me and she doesn't know what to do with him." I pause again. "But I mean, maybe she does know what to do with him, she's just not telling me because she thinks I got myself into this mess, but Leo I didn't." I pause. "But I mean maybe I did. She told me I can't bring him home and she told me not to ask you and I wasn't going to ask you but I did and now I'm asking you and I wasn't supposed to ask you, and Leo, a large pizza only lasts for so long!"

That was by far one of the most humiliating and lamest rambles I have ever spoken. I feel my face heat up in embarrassment. Why can't I just keep my mouth shut? If I had any sense, I'd probably hang up right here and right now.

Leo actually responds, which is a shock to me.

"Do you trust him?" Leo's voice isn't comforting and soothing towards me anymore. It's calm and collected, but stern and reserved. It demands honesty and it demands it right now.

"Yes." I don't have to think about it for a second, but I hesitate anyway.

"You hesitated."

"I trust him," I say. "I do."

He doesn't respond.

I wait.

"Lexi, your dad has been trying to kill our family ever since I can remember. He's done some really horrible things." He doesn't say anything for a moment. "We all have, I suppose. But do you know what I mean? It's kind of hard to trust somebody so instantly like that. Especially someone who has threatened us to such a degree. Do you understand?"

"I'm sorry I asked—"

"Do you understand?" he repeats, solemnly.

I swallow and nod, even though he can't see me. "Yes."

Leo is silent for a long, long while. So long that I'm beginning to lose feeling in my nose and cheeks, because of the chilly weather. So long that I'm afraid he's hung up. But I never hear that dreaded beeping noise, which indicates he's still here.

"We can't trust him to know where the lair is. That's giving him too much trust...too much power. He's clever. And he's strong and he's got a very, very cunning mind. We've all seen it. We all know it." I hold my breath, waiting for him to continue. I don't want to interrupt him. "You know how much I want to preserve the safety of my family. They mean the world to me, and I don't ever want to put them in danger, no matter the cost."

That's it. I think. He's made up his mind. He isn't going to let him stay with them.

"But," he begins. "Your safety also matters to me, just as much. And your family's safety. And your family's happiness. This goes without saying. I want to do what I can to help preserve your safety and your happiness as well. You really do mean the world to me, Lexi." He pauses. "I'm going to come meet you. I'll bring one of my brothers with me. With their consent of course, we'll blindfold your dad and bring him to the lair. The interrogation room. He can stay there."

"Leo, thank you so, so much. You honestly don't know how much that means to me. You don't know how much that's helping me and my family."

Leo doesn't respond very well to praise. Usually when you're complimenting him to his face, he'll smile shyly and look at the ground, mumbling a "thank you".

"Where is he? You said you're at a Pizza Parlor?"

"Rodney's Pizza Parlor."

"I know where that is," Leo says. "Had to pick Mikey up there once when we were like ten. He thought he could make friends with the pizza guy. Is the food there good?"

I can hardly believe he's asking about the pizza at a time like this, but I'm grateful for his serene attitude.

"I actually didn't get to try it. I've been talking to either you or my mom."

"Right," he says. "We'll be on our way. Bye, Lexi."

"Bye, Leo. Thank you again."

He mumbles something along the lines of "Mhm" or "Sure thing". Then I hang up before he can.

I don't go right back inside though. I wait for a few minutes, looking out at the night. Dad and Rose come out, with little black containers.

I look over. "How was the pizza? Sorry, I was on the phone."

"It was better than we thought it'd be," Dad says. "We saved you some. Is everything alright?"

I look at him, and then I look at Rose. "Yeah. Um..." Should I lie? I'm a bad liar. Should I make something up? Can't. Should I change the subject? What would be the point?

"Dad, we're going to take you somewhere to stay. Some friends are coming to take you, but they have to blindfold you." I don't mention who, where or why. I only say what I know to be true, and hope that's enough.

"Oh." Is the only word that he says.

I don't really know how to expand on my words, so I decide to change the subject until Leo gets here. I open out my arms to the little black containers that supposedly contain pizza.

"So is it still warm?"

"Yeah," Rose says, handing one container over. "You're the lucky one. It burned our mouths when we first got it because it was straight out of the oven. The cheese was still sizzling, practically."

I open up the container and find the warmth of the pizza breathing on me as I hold it up to my face. I take a bite and close my eyes. I'm not sure if it's because I'm so hungry, or if it actually tastes as heavenly as I think it does, but I mumble, "Mmm."

Rose and Dad laugh.

About fifteen minutes later, Leo and Raph come around the corner quickly, and I hardly see them coming. They're both wearing their long, dark trench coats and hats. Fall and Winter are probably really nice for them, because they don't have to try and look discreet with trench coats. A trench coat isn't really a summer look after all.

Dad looks a little shocked when he sees that it's the turtles. But he doesn't say anything. He just lets them blindfold him and they lead the way. Raph has a grip on Dad's arm, leading him, and Leo makes sure he doesn't try and escape. I try not to take this personally. They're only taking precautions and being careful.

Rose and I follow uselessly behind.

Once we get to the lair, they still don't take his blindfold off. I don't say anything: I just wait. They bring him into the interrogation room. On their way over, Leo glances back at me and shakes his head, indicating that we can't follow. I bite my lip, but nod my head slightly.

I take a seat next to Mikey, who is playing video games next to me. He glances over at me, grins, and ruffles my hair playfully.

"Hey, Dudette," he says. "It's all gonna be okay."

Don looks up from the toaster he's fixing.

"You don't know how much convincing it took," Don mumbles, shaking his head. "I can't even believe Splinter agreed to it."

"Agreed to what?" I ask wearily.

"To bringing Shred—I mean, your dad here. To bringing your dad here." He corrects himself.

"Really?" Rose raises her eyebrows.

"Well, I mean you can't blame him. We can't just ignore the fact that we've been his number one target for how many years now?"

"You're right." I shake my head to myself. There's really no use in getting offended or taking any of this personally. They're being smart, actually. A little stern and strict and grave, but they sort of have to be. Nobody really, truly knows what's going through Dad's mind right now. And although I'd like to believe it's laughter and pizza and Contemporary Christian music, nobody knows for sure.

"So who was doing the convincing?" I ask grimly. None of the turtles seem too excited about this situation. Not even Mikey, who is usually pretty excited about pretty much everything.

Don presses the toaster button down, and watches it pop up with ease, indicating that it's fixed. He stands up and places it on the counter, then plugs it in. He turns to me and laughs without humor.

"Who do you think?"

"Leo?"

"Bingo," he says. "All I can say is that the guy must really love you. If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't even consider being near the Shredder, let alone harbor him in the comfort of our home."

"The gooey comfort of sewer stench, no proper heating system and five-day old pizza," Mikey says, leaning forward towards his video games.

Rose grimaces. "Yeah. Home sweet home."

"Look, Rose, your home is your home, and my home is my home," Mikey says defensively. "Stop dissing my five-day old pizza."

"Stop telling us that you harbor five-day old pizza!"

"Stop judging me for it!"

Rose is about to open her mouth again, when Leo comes into the room.

"He's going to sleep in the Interrogation room tonight. It's a one-way window, so we can keep an eye on him. Plus, the doors are practically indestructible." He looks to me and Rose with a murky expression. "So unless your dad is an aspiring chemist, we should be safe."

"Can we see him?" Rose asks, crossing her arms across her chest.

Leo looks a little bit wary, and doesn't answer for a few moments.

I look away from Leo's grim face, and look to Donnie instead. Then, when I realize that Donnie has the exact same expression, I turn to Mikey. But even embedded into his video games world, he has a ghost of a mindful expression. So I end up just looking to Rose, who is looking at Leo in expectation. My eyes find the floor. I can't stand to look at anybody right now, so I wait.

"Yes," Leo finally says after a while. "For a bit."

Rose and I look to each other and instantly stand up and follow Leo down the hall. We walk silently.

We stop at the door of the interrogation room. The door is shut. Leo doesn't even glance at us at this point.

"Don't stay in there too long," he says. "It's getting late and we need to lock the door again before we all go to sleep." I look to him, but he doesn't glance my way. I inspect his face.

His forehead is creased like he's thinking really hard, and his mouth is open partially, as if he's debating saying something else. He must fight against it, because he utters nothing more before leaving the area.

Rose opens the door before I can have the chance to even look away from the blue-clad turtle.

I follow her in.

"Hey Dad," Rose says, crossing her arms and shivering a little bit. The room is much cooler than it is outside of it. "How are things?"

"As good as they can be, given the circumstances," he says, smiling a little bit. "It was sure kind of your friends to let me stay here." I open my mouth to say that it took a lot of convincing on Leo's part, but he keeps talking. "Of course, I realize that with this comes terms and conditions."

"Like being confined in an underground interrogation room with mutant turtles and a mutant rat roaming outside the door," Rose says. I can hear the laughter in her voice and see it in her eyes.

"Exactly that," Dad says, shaking his head. "Who ever saw this coming?"

There's silence throughout the room for a few moments.

"How's...your mother handling everything? Is she doing alright?" Dad asks softly, raising his eyebrows the slightest bit.

Rose and I glance at each other, unknowing of how to respond. But when I meet her eyes, I see that she's looking at me to help. She wants me to come up with what to say, because she doesn't know. I see my little sister again. It's been so long since I've felt this sudden responsibility on my shoulders, that I almost panic.

I avoid looking at Dad as I take a deep breath, and try to be careful with my words.

"She's...confused, I think. Right now, with everything that's been going on...she kind of just...wants you to figure things out before you come back home. Sort everything out, and then we'll talk about our family again." I don't have to look at Rose to know that I have her approval and that my response has comforted her. I feel her relax from beside me, and I finally look up at Dad.

He has sort of a distant look in his eyes, but he's looking at me. He nods after a few moments, and doesn't stop nodding for a good minute or so.

"That...that makes sense," he mumbles, and then he stops nodding, and begins shaking his head. "I'm one big mess right now."

"That's not a bad thing," Rose says weakly.

"How is that not a bad thing?" Dad and I both say in unison. I almost feel ashamed for saying that, but I'm comforted when I see Dad laughing a little bit.

"Look," I say, shaking my head. "We'll figure things out. Step by step, piece by piece, moment by moment. 'Here a little, there a little.' Remember that scripture, Dad?"

He chuckles. "I remember, Lexi. Isaiah knew what was up."

While we're talking, I catch a glimpse of Leo, from the corner of my eye. I look over. It looks like he's entering the dojo, but he stops at the doorway. He reaches up and hangs one of Splinter's old artifact helmets on the wall above it.

Either Leo is very particular about how he positions this artifact, or this is his discreet, polite way to indicate that visiting hours are over. Rose doesn't seem to notice though: she keeps chatting away with our father.

"I think I'm going to get ready to go soon," I say, looking over at Dad. "It was really great to talk to you, Dad. We'll visit tomorrow, okay?"

He nods. "Thank you both for coming and finding me. That...means a lot. It makes me feel like I did something right."

That breaks my heart a little.

"Dad, you did do something right. You believed you could change. And here you are now." I smile, and give my dad a brief hug. "Rose'll stay a little bit longer. I think I'm going to go talk to Fearless over there." I nudge my head in the blue-clad turtle's direction. "We wouldn't be here if it weren't for him."

We all look over at Leo. He's still positioning the artifact mask. I laugh to myself, and shake my head. "Goodnight, Dad."

I make my way over to Leo, and take a stand next to him. I can't help but laugh again, when he continues to shift the mask's positions.

"You know, I think you had the perfect position ten minutes ago," I say, chuckling and shaking my head. "Way to be discreet, Leonardo."

"I thought I was being pretty subtle," he says defensively, glancing over at me, and continuing to fix the mask.

"You were. But after about five minutes, I realized that you can't be that obsessed with it."

"Well thanks for blowing my cover," he says, chuckling. He finally leaves the mask how it is and turns to look at me. He suddenly looks perplexed. "Why are you talking to me? Don't you want to visit with your dad?"

"First off," I say. "You were hinting that we should finish up."

"I was not."

"You _so_ were." I laugh. "You might as well have had a gigantic sign on your forehead that reads, 'Hi, you can leave now, bye, there's the door.'"

He laughs and shakes his head. "You're crazy."

"No, I'm just right." I grin, but then my smile softens. "And Leo, I haven't talked to you in forever. And I certainly didn't want to forget to thank you."

"For?"

"You know what for." He doesn't respond, so I continue. "For letting my dad stay here. Don and Mike both told me how you did everything you could to persuade Splinter to let him stay here. That really means so much; more than you could understand."

He doesn't respond.

"Leonardo," I stress. "You really don't take enough credit. You're amazing. Do you realize where my dad would be right now, without you? No where. He would be on the streets, probably freezing to death, with all sorts of people, both good and bad, after him. So many people want to kill him right now." I stop.

Leo smiles sadly. "It runs in the family then."

I laugh without humor. "Yeah. Runs in the family. The 'everybody in New York wants to put a knife through my heart' gene. Forgot to tell you about that one when I was explaining my family's genetics."

Leo raises his eye ridges, and then shakes his head. "You don't need to thank me."

"Shut up, Leo, yes I do!"

"You really don't." I'm about to open my mouth and defy his response, but he holds up his hands in surrender. "Hey, hear me out, Lex. Your dad is a great man." He pauses for a moment. "He's done many things I'm sure he regrets, but everyone has. For many, many years, he's been trying to hurt this family; so naturally, I'm very protective over them."

"Yes, of course. I wouldn't expect anything different."

"Yeah. But he's your dad. And you love him and Rose loves him, and even though it doesn't seem like it now, I think your mom still loves him too. Lexi, you've taught me a lot of different things, in the time we've known each other. One of those things though—one thing that just changed my life forever—was that it's important to see others the way you don't usually see them."

"I...don't understand what you mean."

He sighs and leans against the doorway, and looks at me.

"You...you help me open my eyes. You help me realize that even the worst person deserves same exact second chance that I do. And third chance. And forth chance. All the chances I get to better myself or to redeem myself, other people get those same chances." Leo shakes his head. He looks frustrated. "I'm not good with words, so I'm sorry for wording this kind of awkwardly. But what I'm trying to say is that...well...Lexi, you help me see people for who they truly are. Not their mistakes, not their past, not their heartaches or pains or history. Because of you, I see people for who they truly are."

I look at him and smile softly. "And Leo, who do you think they truly are?"

"Just people trying to live life. And you can't live life without mistakes. You have joys, but you have pains. Some pains we don't ask for, but some we bring on ourselves. Regardless, we're all just trying to get through. We're all just trying to get by." He pauses. "I would say 'We're all human', but..." He chuckles.

I laugh too. "Leo, I think you're more human than any actual human I've ever met."

His eyes light up a bit as I say that. "Do you mean that?"

"Yes," I say gently. "I do."

He smiles a small, humble smile, and looks immediately to the ground, and mumbles an almost inaudible, "Thank you." This is the usually result you get when complimenting Leo, and it never fails to make me smile.

We're quiet for a few moments.

"And thank you, Leo," I say. "I'm really glad I've been able to help in some way. It means a lot, for you to say that. It really does." When he just smiles and nods, I laugh at him. "See, I can actually take a compliment the right way."

"I said thank you, didn't I?"

"You mumbled it."

"But I said it nonetheless. You're so stubborn, you know that?" he says playfully.

"Is stubborn bad?"

"Not necessarily," he says. "I like everything about you. Even your stubbornness."

That gives me butterflies more than I've had in a long time.

 **Rose's POV:**

"They're so in love..." I mumble under my breath, shaking my head and smiling a bit. I can't help but notice.

"What was that?" Dad asks, and I turn towards him.

"Nothing."

But he catches on before I can cover it up. He smiles a bit when his eyes land on Lexi and Leo. Leo's leaning in the doorway, and Lexi's leaning on the other side. They're talking. What they're talking about, I don't know. But just looking at them is enough to tell how they feel about each other.

"So what's the situation with them?" Dad asks. "I thought they..."

"Broke up? They did. But they aren't fooling anyone. They might be fooling each other, and themselves. But not me, no sir-e-bob."

"Was he Lexi's first boyfriend?"

"Nope. She had one when she was fifteen, but that didn't end well." I don't elaborate because I'm not sure if Lexi would want me to. "Anyway, I still ship it. Lexinardo, I mean."

"Lexinardo."

"Yes. Don't judge it, Dad."

"I'm not judging it," he says chuckling. "Just clarifying."

"I just wish they could see how perfect they are for each other. I mean, they didn't have a perfect relationship. Sometimes Lexi would be too dramatic or sometimes Leo would be too stubborn and hurt her feelings. Sometimes they'd fight and argue, but I think that's what made them to perfect. They were so real."

"What exactly happened between them? Why did it stop?"

I don't respond for a few moments. I'm not entirely sure how Lexi would feel about me talking about it with Dad. I mean, I don't know if she'd ever tell Dad about it, just because I doubt she'd ever want to relive it.

"Benj left us. That's why."

This time, it's Dad that doesn't respond. Suddenly, the atmosphere seems to go perfectly still, and we can almost hear Lexi and Leo talking in the doorway. I heard Lexi's laugh, and see Leo's face light up at the sound of it. But here—in this soundproof room—with the door wide open, we're confined in a solitary space of nothingness.

I can't imagine the thoughts going through Dad's head right now. I can't imagine the regret he feels, knowing that his son is no longer here and that he never got to congratulate him for all he accomplished. He never got to watch him grow up and he never got to really be there for him, besides when he was just a kid.

We both turn to look at Lexi and Leo. They now look like they're in deep conversation.

"When Benj died..." my voice breaks on the word 'died'. "Lexi was destroyed. She wanted to die with him. She was clinging to him, but we had to pull her away, or else she would die too. We couldn't save him. There was absolutely nothing at all that could be done." I find myself stopping short of that last word, and really going deep into thought about the whole thing. "Nothing. We couldn't have done anything..."

I haven't thought much about it since it happened. I didn't want to. Lexi's days of depression were difficult days of darkness. Every morning wasn't really a morning because nobody had gone to sleep because every night wasn't really a night because we were all kept awake by Lexi's continual cries and sobs, which made us all shudder.

"She was broken. We all were. But Lexi and Benj were best friends. They did everything together and they were practically inseparable. When Benj left...a little piece of Lexi died with him."

"Lexi, for the longest time, was so furious with Leo. She had convinced herself that it was all his fault, but that it was all her fault too. She wasn't herself. It was just miserable for everyone because she was just a mess and she wouldn't let anyone help her. She just sat there in misery and cried her heart out every moment of the day. The only person she would talk to was Donatello. It really damaged Lexi and Leo's relationship, but that's just how things were."

"But things are okay now, right?" Dad asks quietly, but confidently. "She seems like she's been doing much better."

I nod. "Yes." I don't mention that sometimes, when I can't sleep at night, I can hear Lexi crying in the night, or I can hear the reactions to her nightmares. She always calls out for Benjamin.

"I'm such a horrible father..." he mumbles to himself, shaking his head. "I can't believe this..."

"You're not. You aren't a horrible father."

"I am," he chokes out. "I've missed all my children growing up. I missed their joys and pains and trials and overcoming of those trials. I missed their birthdays and celebrations and graduations. And I missed their heartbreaks. I was never there to comfort any of you when you felt broken."

I laugh and shake my head. "If it's us feeling broken you're concerned about, you don't even need to worry. We'll be broken plenty more times, Dad. Trust me."

 **Hello, hello back again(: and so is Lexi's dad! Gosh I love that guy. I mean besides the fact that he's been trying to kill the Hamato family for all these years, and has been NYC's big villain, he's a really good guy. He was just confused and lost himself in a situation he never asked to be in. You know, that doesn't justify any of the things he did, but it explains it. Explanations are not necessarily justifications, that's what I like to say.**

 **but what happens now? I guess you'll have to keep readinggggg(:**


	20. A job poorly done

The trees look like they're trying to escape. They thrash and pull and beat in the wind. Each leaf that manages to free itself ferociously slips away, whipping in the wind. I've never seen trees want to be that free before. For some reason, it reminds me of myself.

I take another painful sip of water, finish chugging down the last droplets of water. It's painful because it's the fourth water bottle I've chugged all morning. And it isn't on purpose either; I'm just frantic.

Noah raises his eyebrows at me. I'm not entirely sure if it's out of concern or amusement. I have a feeling it's a little bit of both.

"Careful, Lex. Just because we're 70% made of water, that doesn't mean you should drink the entire ocean. You know, back in California, we're experiencing a drought. That water could be going to some good use, rather than making you hurl and pee every ten minutes."

"Poor Californians," I say, as I pull out another water bottle from my purse. I break it open and instantly take some sips.

Noah shakes his head at me in mock shame. "You're a disgrace to the California Redwoods."

I swallow and roll my eyes. "The California mascot is a grizzly bear, smart one."

"Actually," Noah says, and I instantly know I'm losing this one. "the grizzly bear is the state's mammal. The state's tree is a California Redwood." He pauses. "You're also a disgrace to the Golden Trout."

"How do you know these things?"

"And the California quail."

"You just put the word 'California' in front of quail."

"It's an actual thing," he states solidly. "Also, those desert tortoises aren't very happy with you either."

"I'm best friends with four turtles. The desert tortoise can give me a break," I say, shaking my head. "Anymore state-info you can give me?"

"Purple needlegrass."

I close my eyes, laugh and look up at the ceiling. "What on _earth_ is purple needlegrass?"

"Hey Dad, have you thought about a job?" Rose asks suddenly, looking up from her laptop.

"Of course I have," Dad says. He laughs without humor. "But I don't think my resume would be any bit successful. I haven't accomplished much in the past eleven years."

I snort. "What are you talking about? I think becoming the leader of some pretty exciting gangs, ninjas and thugs in New York City deserves a standing ovation and a gift card for something." We all laugh, but none of us think it's funny.

"Well what would you want to maybe consider doing? What field?" Rose asks.

Dad sighs and rubs his eyes. He's exhausted. And I don't think it's because of his lack of sleep.

"I could always try to go back to the old stuff, engineering. But even if I was able to get a job interview, it might be a little hard to explain why I've been officially unemployed for the past eleven years."

"Yeah, that might cause an uproar of questioning."

"I would offer you a job at the Headquarters," I begin sheepishly. "But I mean...your face has kind of been plastered all over the place for the past ten years. Not in a good way."

"It's the thought that counts."

Rose gasps and shuts her laptop. "I know! What about April and her shop? I'm sure she could always use a hand around there."

"Do you think April is going to trust your dad that easily?" Noah asks, raising his eyebrows. He quickly turns his head towards Dad and shakes his head. "No offense, Mr. King."

"None taken. You're right."

When I look at my dad, my heart breaks a little. He looks so tired. And it isn't just the bags under his eyes. It isn't just the way he slowly moves his limbs. It isn't just the way his eyes aren't wide open in wonder like they used to be. It's the tiredness in his eyes. The windows to the soul.

"Maybe if I worked there too," I say, sighing. "I mean, I could easily get a job there. I kind of need one anyway."

"Well, there's no hurt in calling April up and asking," Rose says.

"I'll be sure to mention it to her." I gather my things.

"Where are you headed?"

"I don't know. I need to get out." As I leave, I'm grateful they don't question me. Because they understand what it feels like to need to breathe.

Outside it seems like it would any normal day in New York at 5 PM. The color of the trees pop against the surprisingly pale color of the sky. I'm just beginning to wonder why it's so pale, when I feel a drop on my neck. When I swipe at my skin, my hand comes off wet. More drops bombard my skin. I begin to think it's just a drizzle.

Ten minutes later, I'm practically sprinting down the street. At first I'm aiming for my apartment, but find myself at April's doorstep. I hold up a stiff, cold fist—dripping wet—to knock, when the door is pulled open. I jump a little, startled.

"Get in here! It's freezing," Casey says, grabbing my arm and pulling me in. I hardly have any time to make a sound. He closes the door and before I know it, April has wrapped a towel around my shoulders and is hugging me from the side.

"What, do you guys just stand there looking outside the peep-hole, waiting for me?" I say, laughing a little. I'm still startled.

"Not usually, but there's always the occasional spying," Casey jokes, taking a seat on the couch.

"Not to mention...Lex, your breathing is one of the loudest things I've ever heard. They can probably hear you all the way in Tokyo!" April says, chuckling. "How on Earth are you a spy?"

I start to sit down on the couch, but Casey stops me.

"Whoa, whoa whoa...you're soaking wet. I ain't gonna let you soak my furniture."

"Case," I say, rolling my head. "It's literally just water. At least I didn't come in here covered from head to toe in blood."

April hands me a cup of hot chocolate. It smells of mint and the warmth cradles my shivering hands. I curl my fingers around the mug.

I thank her and turn to Casey. "See, this is how you treat a guest," I say, motioning to April. "Now really, how did you know I was at the door?"

"Sixth sense."

"Really."

April laughs. "Leo called and wanted to know if we knew where you were. When the storm started, he got worried because he ran into your sister and dad and they didn't know where you had gone to."

"Oh?" Is my only response.

April smiles at me and raises her eyebrows. It's like she's waiting for me to say more.

"That's sweet of him." Is the only thing I add.

Casey scoffs, rolls his eyes and flips on the TV with the remote. "You're _so_ bad at pretending like you don't care."

I turn to April and rub the back of my neck. "Hey, April? You know how I'm like one of your most favorite people in the whole wide world and you would do absolutely almost anything for me?"

"Mm that's a little bit of a stretch..." she says with a smile. She takes a seat at the table and curls her fingers around her mug, just as I had with mine. "What do you need?"

"A job."

"For?"

"Me..." I pause. "And a friend."

"Ahh," April says, raising her eyebrows. "So who's the friend?"

"My...father..." I say awkwardly.

There is silence throughout the room for a few moments.

"What, is he gonna be our new doormat?" Case mutters.

"Casey!" April exclaims. Her fingers tighten around the mug. I absentmindedly try to do that around mine as well, but can't take the heat. Her fingers must be sizzling off. "So...he needs a job?"

I would be an idiot to miss the tenseness in her voice. I'm not sure at first if I should pretend to not notice it, or if I should acknowledge it.

"I know what you're thinking..." I begin, but stop. I shouldn't have said that because I _don't_ know what she's thinking. I take a sharp breath and bite my lip. I don't know what to do so I look down.

"Do you now?"

I rub the back of my neck sheepishly. "No."

April sighs and runs a hand through her hair. "I don't know, Lex..."

"Hear me out, April." When she doesn't respond, I continue. "Okay, if you give me the job and him the job, I'll be able to keep an eye on him and if you don't trust him, you'll know that I'm there—"

"Yes, because we all know how good you are at escaping the bad guys," Casey says sarcastically, rolling his eyes and pushing his legs up onto the couch.

I shove them off. "Let me finish."

Casey raises his hands in defense. "Hey, I'm only speaking the truth. Let's count all the times you failed to escape the bad guys on your own. The Dark Angels, that's one. RBMC, that's two. The Shredder—"

"He is _not_ a bad guy!" I say sharply.

"Oh, okay, so what exactly qualifies for you as a bad guy? Someone who doesn't give warm hugs and sing you lullaby's every night?"

I glare at him. "Casey, shut up."

"I'm just sayin'. Right, April?"

April sighs. "Casey, shut up."

"Anyway," I press. "I'll be there. He's shown absolutely nothing but reasons to trust him and although I agree with you guys that he's done bad things in the past, those bad things don't define him. He's still my dad. And he needs to start somewhere. I would really appreciate it if—as one of my closest friends—you'd give him a place to start."

"And I would really appreciate it if I could leave my shop without the growing fear that the place it going to be burned to the ground." April pauses. "I'll have to think about it. I'm not giving a no, but I'm not giving a yes either. I just need to think about it."

Thunder rumbles the floorboards beneath us.

"That's all I need. For you to at least think about it." Thunder rolls again. "I should be heading home."

"In this rain? Great idea, let's just get struck by lightning, why don't we?" Casey mutters.

"Hey." I point at him. "Your sarcasm isn't really all that appreciated tonight."

"Whatever," Casey mutters. "I'm goin' out."

"Casey—" April's call it cut off by Casey slamming the front door.

"I'm sorry, April...I caused this," I say, looking down.

"Lexi, no, it isn't your fault," April says. "Casey's just not been having the best day. None of us have been."

"Why not? Is something wrong?"

April sighs and shakes her head to herself. "Stuff with The Dark Angels. We've been trying to hard to figure them out. Casey almost more than any of us. There's never really seen a gang that wasn't even the tad bit afraid of him. Casey takes things like that personally." She pauses. "He ran into some of them last night. Escaped them at the last second. His goal was to beat them. The outcome was less than failure to him."

"That's unreasonable," I say, shaking my head. "I mean, Casey is awesome. But it's one man against The Dark Angels. Not just any gang. But a gang that even the police don't believe exists. They're dangerous in the most subtle ways. They're horribly awful and awfully horrible."

"I know. I know that."

"Does he know that?"

"I think he does. He should. He's seen enough to know that." She runs her hands through her hair. "I just don't know what to do. I want him to be safe. I know he lives a dangerous lifestyle, and I can't imagine how I'd feel if something ever happened to him. But at the same time, I know he won't be completely happy until this whole Dark Angels thing is put to bed. The problem is that I don't know if it ever will be."

"April," I say. "Casey is a smart guy. He's got lots of experience with the bad guys out there in New York. And although he might be irrational at times and act before he thinks, but he knows what's smart and what's just plain stupid. He knows the difference. He'll be okay. Just make sure to look out for him."

April smiles halfheartedly. She looks tired. "I'll let you and your dad work in the shop. You're right. Everyone has to start somewhere."

"Thank you so much, April." I feel a weight lifted up from relief. "Thank you."

"It sounds like the storm has stopped," April observes. "Want me to walk with you home?"

I stand up. "No, it's alright. Thank you though." I lift up the now empty mug. "And thank you for the hot chocolate. And the job opportunities. And for everything."

She laughs. "Glad I was able to help a bit. See you later, Lexi. Have a nice night."

The bottoms of my shoes stick to the wet pavement as I cross the streets of New York City. It's about seven-thirty, and the traffic is raging just as it does every moment of the day. I shiver as I walk through the streets. I hadn't thought to wear lots of layers, since it wasn't supposed to rain. I have on jeans and a flannel. Wind occasionally whips me, pushing my flannel back, revealing my shoulders. I quickly push it back over, shivering.

After a few minutes, I recognize a familiar sound from behind me. Breathing.

I instantly go into panic mode. Should I continue to walk, and just pretend to not notice? Should I press the panic button on my phone and notify the turtles? Where would I go while waiting for them? Should I just go into a public place? Make a scene? The thoughts of what Casey said earlier, about me not being able to escape most villains comes back to me. The thought doesn't comfort me a ton.

Without thinking, I turn around and my fist goes flying. It hits something hard.

"Ow!" a voice shrieks, and I see a dark figure fall to the ground.

My first thoughts: I recognize that cry of pain.

"Leo?" I say hesitantly, coming a bit closer.

"Yeah," he says tensely, standing back up, rubbing his jaw. "Thanks for the warm welcome."

"I'm sorry," I say, cringing. "I thought you were A Dark Angel."

"Tip number one," he says, rubbing his jaw once more before letting his hand drop to his side. "If you can hear me, I'm not a Dark Angel."

"Noted. Now why are you following me?"

"Because it's raining."

"You failed to notify me previously that weather changes gives you a sudden stalker status."

"It's a birth defect. It's embarrassing and I don't like to talk about it."

I laugh. "Okay, really, now: why were you following me?"

He rolls his eyes. "Definitely not to get punched in the face. Where would that have gotten you if I was a Dark Angel?"

"Knocked out."

"You seem pretty content with that."

"I've gotten used to the feeling," I say. "Let's see, The RBMC, Maneuver Men, The Dark Angels..."

"Almost The Dark Angels twice," Leo adds. "If I happened to be one."

I laugh. "You haven't answered my question."

"That was deliberate." He laughs when I roll my eyes at his response, and then he continues. "Okay, so I might have sort of possibly come to April's because I ran into Casey and he told me you were there. I just wanted to make sure you didn't get struck by lightning or anything."

"In April's apartment."

"You never know. Natural phenomenon can be unpredictable."

"You would know, with your whole birth defect."

Leo laughs and shakes his head. "I want you to know that I'm probably exceeding my brothers' expectations of my wit."

"They don't even think you have wit."

"Which is why I'm exceeding their expectations."

I laugh. "So it's our little secret I guess."

He grins. "I guess."

I smile, and then sigh. "Walk with me?"

"That was my purpose all along," he says, and the two of us take off down the sidewalk.

"Alright so give me your advice on something. April is giving me and my dad jobs in her shop. Yay or nay?"

"Oh?"

"That wasn't an option for an answer."

"I don't know." He rubs the back of his neck. "Is he gonna burn the place to the ground?"

I groan and throw my hands into the air. "Why does everyone keep asking that?"

Leo walks me back to the apartment, and it feels like a blast into the past. Like everything could be normal all over again. I hug him and within moments, he is gone.

He always disappears so fast.

I push open the door, but stop dead in my tracks at the sight in front of me.

A scream leaps from my throat.

 **A/N: So let's see. Lot's of plot holes. I'll fix those. I SWEAR I know like 97% of what I'm doing here. That other 3% still needs working on. I'll fix it. It'll be good.**

 **ANYWAY...PLOT TWIST CLIFFHANGER AT THE END! You're probably like, "Oh man, what was it? Why did she scream?" Or maybe you don't care. That's okay. All are welcome here.**

 **Just know that I have the first word for the next chapter written already. That word is "blood" (comforting, I know).**

 **As always, I love you guys & thank you very much for reading(:**


	21. Hard Things

Blood. Sinking into the tile, the chairs, and the counters. Dark red blood. But what makes me cry out the most is that my mother is lying on the tile, seemingly knocked unconscious. Hopefully _only_ knocked unconscious. My heart is racing as I approach my mother. I kneel down and find that her hair has streaks of dried blood. She's been here a while then.

I shake her. "Mom...Mom..." I mumble. "Mom, please wake up."

Nothing.

Tears well up in my eyes, and I force myself to stay calm. I hold my breath and listen carefully.

Faintly, so faintly that I almost don't believe it's there, I can hear her breathing.

I let out a breath and close my eyes. Okay, she's alive. She's still alive. Things are going to be okay.

I pick up my phone, and notice myself shaking as I do it. I mean to call the turtles, but I find myself dialing Rose's number instead. She answers within two rings.

"Hello?"

"Rose. Where are you?"

"With some friends at Target. Why?"

At first, I don't know what to say. Too many things rushing through my head. So many things to say and tell her and spill but I don't know which is the most vital for her to know.

"Blood," I choke out. "Mom. Apartment. She's bleeding. There's blood. I don't know what happened." My words barely make any sense. They're just that: words.

"I'll be right over. Stay where you are." She hangs up.

She arrives in less than ten minutes. When she opens the door, she stops dead in her tracks. I can see her tense up. And then, she does something I'm very, very surprised at.

The Rosalie from a year ago would have seen the right in front of her and broken down into tears. She would probably begin hyperventilating and look around for someone to fix the situation at hand.

But this Rosalie is stronger. She simply maintains her composure, and comes over and kneels down next to me.

"Grab the first aid kid. I'll get some towels and wet them down. We'll take care of her first and then we'll get to the damage done on the apartment."

Without hesitation or questions, I follow her orders. I find the First Aid kit we keep in the bathroom, and grab some rags from the cupboards. When I get back, she's already cleaning Mom's wounds. I hand her the First Aid Kid, without a word. I stand there awkwardly for a few seconds. I always feel like I'm in the way or I have no way of helping. I know how to treat wounds but it seems like Rose has it all under control.

"I'm going to call the turtles." I don't wait for her reply before I hurry away to dial their home phone.

It rings three times before being answered.

"Hello, Hamato Residence speaking," Mikey's perky voice says. "And just may I say...how you doin'?"

"Not now Flynn Rider," I say rolling my eyes. "Can I talk to serious Mikey right now? Or is he not home?"

"Nah, he's here." Mikey's tone changes a bit. "What's up, babe? Everything okay?"

"Well my mom is unconscious."

"Oh crap!" Mikey shouts. "What happened, Lex?"

"I don't know. I came into the apartment and she was unconscious. There's blood everywhere."

"Why are you so calm about this?" Mikey exclaims.

"Well would you rather me call you screaming?"

"That would be reasonable."

"Just get over here, please. Bring your brothers. This wasn't supposed to be a conversation. It was supposed to be a cry for help."

"Sorry, I'm not good at answering those," Mikey says, sheepishly.

I sigh. "Then don't answer the landline, Mike."

After hanging up with Mikey, I go back to Rose. The majority of Mom's wounds have been cleaned, and Rose is dabbing a cloth on Mom's forehead.

Slowly, after a few minutes of this, Mom begins to stir. She breaks open her eyes and then looks around for a few moments. Suddenly, she sits up perfectly straight and looks around frantically.

"Where did they go?" Mom asks, panicked. "Where did they go?"

"Who?" Rose and I both ask at the same time.

Mom looks at me, and then Rose. Back to me, and then back to Rose. Then, she looks down at her hands. I've never seen her act this way before.

"Mom," Rose says gently and I envy her ability to always be in my mother's favor. "Who did this to you?"

"The Foot," Mom says. "Karai leading."

"The Foot did this?" I exclaim, raising my eyebrows. "They're nowhere near the violent type."

"Actually," Rose says quietly. "They have been lately. Remember? Karai killing those innocent people? They've been striking out lately."

"But what do they want with Mom?" I turn to her and tilt my head. "Mom, did they tell you what they wanted?"

"Your father," she says, shaking her head. "They wanted your father."

"Why did they think you knew anything about his whereabouts?" I ask.

"Well he technically is still my husband," she says.

There's a knock at the window and we all jump. In the dark, we can hardly see the turtles' figures, waiting for us. I jump up and go to unlatch the window. As soon as I do so, they're all piling inside, asking a million questions at once.

"Emmeline, are you okay?" "What happened?" "Who was it?" "Where'd all the blood go?" "How long have your wounds been patched?" "Lexi, when did you get here?" "When did you find her?"

"Okay, okay, everybody calm down," Rose says, shaking her head. "All your questions will be answered." She glances at me. "Not even all of ours have been answered."

Mom sighs and shakes her head. "The Foot Clan...they broke in. But I think they'd been in here for a while because I didn't hear them actually come inside. They beat me. They asked me where Oroku Saki was. I told them I didn't know. I told them I hadn't spoken to him since before he was arrested. They didn't believe me. They beat me. They kept beating me. After a while, they mumbled something in Japanese and then left. I guess I was knocked unconscious."

"Why do they want to know?" Leo asks, shaking his head. "We haven't heard from the Foot Clan in forever."

"Not since that whole 'Karai-on-meds' fiasco," Don says, raising his eye ridges. "We almost forgot about that. I was hoping maybe she found a doctor."

"Do you mean a foot doctor?" Mikey says, then pauses and waits for a laugh. When nobody makes a sound, he drops his hands, groans and flops onto the couch. "Right. Sorry. No jokes during a crisis."

Silence pierces the room. Nobody knows what to say, and if they do, they don't say it. It seems incredulous that with each passing day, the thought occurs that things couldn't get worse. Then of course, it gets worse.

Mikey rubs the back of his neck and sits up. "Why would they be interested in Shredder anyway? He's clearly not their problem anymore. He gave up his ways."

Donnie shakes his head. "Mikey, it's more complicated than that. He worked with the Foot Clan for ten years. For all they know, he could betray them and tell everyone exactly where they are. To be completely honest with you, I think they care more about their reputation than about if Shredder is actually okay."

"They know he knows too much," Mom says. "They won't let him go that easily. Not alive and knowing that he could very well tell the whole world all he knows."

"So they came here because..." Mikey trails.

"Because they thought I knew where he could be," Mom says. "I mean, they thought he _was_ here."

"They probably want revenge. Revenge for getting up and leaving them like that. Or revenge for possibly telling people about them, in the future," I say.

"Or..." Leo begins, but then pauses. He suddenly looks like he's analyzing everything all at once—like he doesn't want to say the wrong thing. "Or maybe he knows something that they don't want anybody to know. Like...something really important. A game-changer."

"Well, there's only one way to find out," Donnie says, leaning forward on the chair he's sitting in. "We've gotta ask him. As soon as possible."

Everyone, one by one, ends up turning and looking at Mom. She's staring down at the floor, thinking hard. Finally, she looks up and bites her lip hard.

"I'll come. I'll talk to him."

"Are you sure?" Donnie begins. We've all seen how Mom has reacted just simply by the mention of my father. "If you're uncomfortable..."

"Whether I'm uncomfortable or not, it's my responsibility to see what he knows, because it's important information. We have someone who knows something, so we're going to ask them. Just like we would in the Headquarters." She sets her jaw and sits up as straight. Well, as straight as one can after just being beaten up by the Foot Clan.

Another silence fills the room. And again, Mikey is the one to break it.

"So what do we ask him?" he asks. "And when?"

"Now," Mom says quietly. "We ask him now. Is he at the lair?"

We all exchange looks. Nobody formally informed Mom that we'd decided to take Dad to the lair to keep him there. The turtles nod at her question. I'm not surprised when Mom turns her look towards me.

"Lexi..." she looks exasperated, and puts her hand on her head. "What did I tell you about finding a place for him?"

I give her a sheepish look and rub the back of my neck. "You told me... _not_ to bring him to the lair."

"And _what_ did you do?" she presses, looking up at me and crossing her arms.

I hesitate to answer. "I...asked the turtles..." I suppress a smile and glance over at Leo, who looks slightly amused at my confrontation. "And _then_ I brought him to the lair. It's all about the order of things, really."

For the first time in a long time, Mom's face softens and she almost looks amused too. The slightest bit. It's not exactly under a circumstance I would expect, but I'll take it over anything.

"Do you deliberately do the opposite of what I tell you to do?"

I laugh sheepishly. "Live in spite, is what I always say..."

The amused look remains on her face for a few more seconds before it's soon replaced with a look of fatigue. She turns away from me, and to the turtles. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding in, glad that she hadn't scolded me for too long.

Mom wraps her arms around herself, like she's cold. It's something she does when she's nervous, and it's a trait both Rose and I have taken on as well. "I know it's getting sort of late, but I would rather us figure this whole thing out tonight than wait until tomorrow."

The turtles exit through the window and we plan on meeting them back at the lair in a few minutes. The room is left with Rose, Mom and I. It's the first time we've all been in the same room together without arguing.

I don't consciously decide to speak, but I find myself doing so.

"I'm really proud of you Mom." The words come so quickly, I'm barely even sure that they're said. "I can't imagine...how hard this is. For you." My words come out really choppy, but I don't expect anything different. I didn't even plan on speaking in the first place.

My mother holds her gaze on me for a few moments, and then shakes her head to herself. She opens her mouth, like she's going to say something, but then closes it. Neither Rose nor I speak. We want to know what she has to say.

"Are you sure you don't want us to come in there with you?" Donnie looks concerned. He glances through the one-way window, where my father sits at the table, not expecting that anyone else is on the other side.

"No." She shakes her head. "No, I think it's best that I do it alone." She begins to proceed towards the door, but her hand freezes on the knob. Slowly, she turns towards me and Rose. "Actually...I want my girls with me."

No word, phrase or paragraph could describe the feeling that encompasses my heart as she says those words. Her girls. She wants us with her.

Rose and I share a quick look, and then proceed with our mother. She closes her eyes, and keeps her hand on the doorknob a few moments longer. Nobody says anything; nobody rushes her. We feel it's an incredible stroke of luck that she willingly came here in the first place. She deserves a few moments to prepare.

Then, without warning any of us, she opens the door and walks through. Rose and I follow immediately.

The door closes behind us.

Then, in a voice which I haven't heard in many, many years, a voice that used to echo throughout the halls of our home, and a voice that sounds so suddenly broken, my mother opens her mouth to say two words.

"Hello, Jaxon."

Never have I heard my mother sound so broken.

I look up at her.

You wouldn't be able to tell by looking at her from afar, but just several feet beside her, I can see her hands are shaking. Her skin has gone pale and her eyes are wide and look like they've seen many things that they wish to unsee. Her usually worried, older-looking face suddenly has the expression of youth.

Never before could I compare her to a child. A young, frightened child.

A heartbroken child. And no child should ever have to feel heartbroken.

I almost can't bring myself to turn towards my father to see the look on his face. Only am I able to when Rose—standing beside me—takes my hand and squeezes it. I glance over at her. She doesn't look over at me; just faces forward. The look of courage on her face gives me the strength to look forward too.

It's like looking in a direct reflection: they both have the exact same broken look on their faces.

He looks like he wants to say something, but she beats him to it.

"I wouldn't be here right now," she begins. "I wouldn't have even agreed to come see you...if it weren't for what happened tonight." Dad doesn't respond. He just sits there and waits.

That's one thing I'm glad he hasn't forgotten: that Mom likes to take her time. I remember countless times at a young age, noticing that whenever Mom was trying to explain something to him, or yelling or anything, he would just sit there. He would listen, of course, but he wouldn't say a single word. He would just wait until she was done.

I remember asking him once why he did that.

"Well you see," he had said, squatting down so he could be on my level. "Sometimes the best way to listen is to not say anything at all."

"But what if she says something you don't agree with?" I'd asked.

He had grinned. "It doesn't matter if I don't agree with her. I listen to her. She can say all she needs to say, and more. And I'll listen. But when you're fighting with someone, sometimes the best thing to do is to just stay quiet." What I didn't realize was that after the fights, when they would go to sleep, he and Mom would stay up late talking about everything and that's when he would tell her how he felt. He would mention things she'd said that that offended or hurt him, or were just inaccurate altogether.

But he would always let her finish.

So Mom continues after a few moments. "I'm not here to talk about our family. Honestly, I don't want to. Not right now." She pauses. "But I do want to talk about what has been putting the family in danger. Not just the family, but many other people too. You've been associated with the Foot Clan for years, and have planned and led many schemes to hurt many people." She stops herself, and looks right at him. "And now...now they're hurting people without you."

"Tonight they came to the apartment." She didn't need to explain what they did, for she looks beaten and battered. "They thought I knew where you were. I didn't." She smiles in spite of the circumstances. "Now I do. Of course, they're just a tad bit late. Though I wouldn't have told them where you were even if I had known."

She begins to walk around the room. Staying in one spot is getting too much for her; she has so much to say, so much on her mind and she can't get it all out quick enough by simply standing her. So with every step, she seems to unload a new sentence.

"I was knocked out after a while. They didn't believe me when I told them I didn't know where you were. But eventually, they left. Once I woke up, I couldn't figure out why they wanted to know where you were so badly. Did they think you needed saving? Were they planning on 'rescuing' you from the risk of losing your title as a villain? Do they care for you? I couldn't figure it out." She glances out the one-way mirror and even though we can't see out it, she's looking to Leo. She at least wants to silently give him credit.

"Then an idea came to the table." She turns and faces forward again. "What if the Foot Clan knows something...something that they're afraid will get out?" She stops, and then looks directly at our father again. "Something that when you left, you took with you. It's not just a secret in their hands—it's in yours too."

A spark of recognition lights Dad's eyes for a brief moment, but then he masks it. It's there though, and clearly I'm not the only one who has seen it. Mom faces him completely and crosses her arms over her chest.

"You need to tell us everything you know." She sets her jaw. "Everything."

He waits a few minutes before he replies. Why, I'm not sure. Whether it's because he wants to make sure she's finished talking, or because he wants to gather his thoughts.

"I will tell you everything I know," he says. "Just give me a place to start."

"The beginning." She answers without hesitation. Dad grimaces and Mom gives him a sharp look. "Is there a problem with that?"

"It's more complicated than just...the beginning. I don't even know where the beginning is."

Mom doesn't respond to that. She just looks at him. After her stare has melted into him long enough, I decide to pipe up.

"Then start with what you know," I say, and Rose soon follows.

"You know something," my sister says carefully. "You know something that they're afraid that you know. So start with that."

Dad looks at all three of us, each one by one. Then, he faces the wall (which is actually the other side of the mirror).

"The Foot Clan had always been...the top. They didn't fear anyone—but everyone feared them. And that's exactly how they liked it. Top of the food chain, it seemed. When Karai came to power, she prospered like no Foot leader ever had. She had a particular spark that made all the other gangs and all the other clans fear her. Sure, there were those gang rivals still. But even the Purple Dragons didn't dare go willingly against Karai."

"Then the Dark Angels sprung up, seemingly out of no where. People started...disappearing. They'd be found murdered. Mothers, whose sons had brutally murdered them just to be part of this gang. Brothers who fought side by side in the gang, but when one was found to speak too much of the gang, one killed the other. All the weak ones were weeded out and the strong ones were formed. They took on a new degree of danger: one formed with incredibly perfect proportions of what you'd see as the perfect gang. They were strong and fierce, like the Purple Dragons. But they were quiet and sneaky like the Foot. They were like...ninjas. Brutal...fierce...poisonous ninjas."

By now, Mom has stopped pacing. She has taken a seat in the chair directly on the other side of Dad, facing him. Her hands are folded into one another, resting right below her chin and she is listening intently.

Dad takes in a breath, and looks up, first at Mom, then at Rose, then at me.

"So you ask me where it all started? The Dark Angels. They were the very beginning. Everyone had feared Karai before. For all anyone knew, she was the most dangerous, the most clever and the most feared in all of New York City. But as soon as the Dark Angels came into place, people began to see what real danger was. Danger doesn't threaten to kill—danger _does_ kill. And that's something they hadn't known before."

"You see, the thing that frustrated Karai beyond measure..." He shakes his head, almost like he's seeing into Karai's thoughts. "...was that she couldn't figure out where they came from. Not only did they seem to just come out of no where, but it seemed almost as though they'd been a gang for years. They were by no means new. And that's something that to this day, Karai could never wrap around her head."

"As the other gangs were beginning to see the poison of the Dark Angels, they began to fear Karai and the Foot Clan less and less. Smoke pellets and black eyes were nothing compared to murder. Karai began to lose her power. People still feared her, yes, but they also knew that they had more to worry about. And this made Karai very, very angry. It was unfair to her. And she spent many years trying to figure out the Dark Angels."

"She developed depression after a period of time. It got really bad. The Foot soldiers...they began getting her anti-depressants. She took them for a while and it helped. But then no one could provide them for her anymore. She had gotten hooked onto them, so she began to search everywhere she possibly could for more. I'm not sure if she ever found some, but there were definitely some days where she just seemed...off." I immediately think of when we found Karai had dropped a prescription bottle for schizophrenia. I decide not to mention that to him now.

"Karai spent the years competing and trying to be better than the Dark Angels. But there was only so far she could go without breaking her personal code of how she'd run the Foot Clan. Finally, that line was crossed. Karai began to kill people." His voice gets softer and he shakes his head to himself. "She wanted so badly to outdo the Dark Angels, and that was the one way she could: so that's what she started doing."

"After a while, that got to the Angels. They started to realize that Karai was beginning to kill people, and that seemed to impress them. They requested to meet with the Foot on several occasions, in which Karai denied each time. Finally, I decided to accept for her. I was a leader too, after all."

"Karai and Melinda did not get along at all. I swear; they were both at each other's throats whenever we met. We were finally going to settle things and join forces...when they brought me to their lair and...and I saw Lexi. That was the day they'd taken over your guys' Headquarters. They had attacked and kidnapped and wanted to show me. But as soon as she said your name..." He looks at me. "Alexandra King. That's when I knew I wouldn't even consider joining them."

"I told them I just wasn't interested. But they must've known. I don't know how they found out, but somehow things started to click. I was Alexandra King's father, and with that information, they could do a whole lot. Back in June..." He grimaces a bit. "They offered me one more opportunity, but no longer was it a warm invitation. They brought me into their lair and showed me...Lexi. Beaten and bruised and..." He squeezes his eyes shut, and it takes all there is in me not to do the same.

Those days and nights haunt me. The kicks to the stomach. The heavy door slamming as Melinda exited, and left me in the dark. The amount of times I threw up, from getting kicked so many times, and how I finally stopped throwing up because there was nothing left in me to throw up. How they always updated me on the time, with a smirk because they could see the hope draining from my eyes; hope that my family would come for me. The way my eyes adjusted to the dark; how the first few nights, I felt vulnerable and afraid, as I thought I was seeing things. But after those first few nights, I realized that the real thing to be afraid of wasn't what I couldn't see, but what I _could_ see.

The way all the days morphed into one period of time, and it got harder and harder to cry. The pain grew numb. It grew numb, but it never got easier.

"I knew..." He opens his eyes. "I knew I couldn't work for them. Not for or with them. That is when I knew I needed to stop."

"All that time...ever since that night where I saw my family for the first time in years, I knew that I needed to stop. Whatever I was doing...everything I was doing...I needed to stop. I just...didn't know how to. I wanted to. But something like that..." He's suddenly struggling with his words.

"Can't be changed just like that..." Mom says quietly. The three of us are taken back by her words, and we all turn to look at her. She isn't looking at any of us. Her stare is melting into the table. "A mistake that turns into a lifestyle...it can't be turned off like a faucet."

"Exactly." Dad is staring right at Mom, even though she doesn't look at him. "Exactly. But I wanted to. I wanted my family back, even though I knew I didn't deserve it. But that's what I wanted." He looks at me. "But then when I saw what they'd done to Lexi, I knew I couldn't keep taking those baby steps. I needed to do something big. And I knew that even if my family didn't want me back in their lives, then that would be okay. Because it was more than that now. It wasn't just about how I'd hurt my family; it was now also about how I'd hurt New York City. How I'd made people fear me. Titles I didn't want anymore, but titles I had earned."

Nobody says anything for a few moments. I knew that Mom had told him she didn't want to talk about our family, but I think we're all glad that he did. She doesn't look angry anymore. She looks up at him, and I see my mom again. The one who always told me that our father was still good at heart and that he would always love us.

"But regarding Karai..." His voice darkens. "It didn't matter what my choice was anymore. She was determined to outdo the Dark Angels. Whatever the cost may be."

"Right before I decided to take that big step to change, Karai came to me and she told me something. She had a plan. She was finally going to allow herself and the Foot to join together with the Dark Angels and work with one another. To the Dark Angels, the plan was that they would join together and essentially take on the villain world together. But to Karai...it was more than that. She plans on adapting the skills of the Dark Angels, and then taking them over. She wants to destroy the Dark Angels once and for all, so she can rise to power once again."

"But...she can't..." I say, shaking my head. "She's powerful and skilled, yes, but the Dark Angels...they're..."

"To her, that doesn't matter. She's willing to do whatever she can. And she knows that I know that." He turns to Mom. "Emmeline, I think that's why she came to you to find me. That's why she wants to find me in the first place. She knows that I know her plan, and she's the only one who is supposed to know. And now that I've officially left the little villain business, there can't be any witnesses."

"You've officially left, but at the same time you haven't. Now, everyone has it out for you. They all want to find you and kill you before you say too much," Rose realizes.

I laugh darkly. "Welcome to the club, Dad."

He laughs too but he's not amused. "And that, too, is my fault. Nobody would want to kill you, Lexi, if it weren't for me."

"It's alright. Father and Daughter, escaping all the people who want to kill us." I raise my eyebrows. "It's a fun business."

"Yeah," he says, looking down. "Well...that's it. That's why I think they're after me. And believe me when I tell you, I wish more than anything that I hadn't gotten involved in any of this. I had no idea that one little decision would result in all of this. It's a mess I've gotten myself into and unfortunately it's dragged in the people I love."

There is silence.

"Thank you for your cooperation," Mom says after a while, but her voice sounds shaky and broken. I turn just in time to see a tear slip down her face and onto the table before she is up and gone. Rose looks back at her, and I keep facing forward.

"I didn't mean to make your mother upset..." Dad mumbles, staring out at the door after her. "I just..."

"It's okay, Dad," Rose says, turning to face him again. "Thank you for telling us all that you did." She smiles a small smile and then exits the room.

I sigh and shake my head. "Every mess seems to be entangled into another mess and it's just turning into one big..."

"Mess," Dad finishes.

I laugh and nod. "A mess. Exactly."

Dad shakes his head. "You know...I've done a lot of wrong things in the last few years. A lot. But this is one thing I've done that I know is right. Before, I would feel like I'm betraying Karai by telling you guys all this. But now, I would feel like I'm betraying you guys by not."

"It's all about what's important to you," I say.

"I wish I could've remembered that all along."

I'm about to respond, when my name is called from the doorway.

"Lex," says the blue-clad turtle. "Your mom wants you to come meet with us right now."

"Okay," I respond, and then glance over at my dad again. "Thanks again, Dad."

He just smiles sadly, and looks down.

As I stand up and head towards Leo, I see the blue-clad turtle staring at my father. He speaks.

"Thank you for telling us all you did, Mr. King," he says, and my father looks up. "We appreciate you doing it, even though it's hard."

"The right choices usually aren't the easiest," Dad says quietly. "So I'm glad it helps."

As I walk beside Leo down the hallway, he shakes his head and glances over at me. "I see now where you get all your on-demand proverbs from."

I laugh and hit him lightly. "Individuality is a key that unlocks doors that lead to places never visited before." I then walk faster to meet everyone else in the front room.

"There you go again!" He laughs, and catches up to me. I think we all feel a lot better knowing what we do. It's heavy knowledge to handle, but it's better than not knowing anything at all.

"The Purple Dragons...the Foot Clan...the Dark Angels," Mom says, looking around at each of us. "These are the people who have learned how to control our lives. They've found a way to claw at everyone important to us, and get to those who we love most." I don't know where everyone else's thoughts go, but mine go to all the people who have been harmed in any way because of these gangs.

Me. Noah. Kylan. My siblings. Casey. Sam.

Benjamin.

Mom sets her jaw. "They've controlled us for far too long. But not anymore. This is going to be challenging. This is going to hurt. This is going to risk more than I think we've ever risked in our lives, but you know what? If we're going to get hurt, we might as well get hurt on our feet, fighting back, because we aren't going to let them control us anymore." She shakes her head. "Dark Angels, Foot Clan, Purple Dragons, whatever they are, it doesn't matter anymore. The scale of danger was broken when I had to bury my own son."

Silence.

"We've lived far too long in fear of these people and although that fear won't go away, we aren't going to let it destroy more people we love. Not without at least trying harder than we ever have. We aren't going to take it anymore." She looks directly at me now, with a fire in her eyes. But the fire isn't directed at me. It's showing me that we are going to fight side by side. Together. "Not anymore."

 **A/N: Yay Emmeline isn't DEAD! And YAY she's talking to Shredder! AND YAYYY THEY ARE STANDING THEIR GROUND AND ARE GONNA TAKE BACK WHAT'S RIGHTFULLY THEIRS.**

 **But how? Well, I guess we'll have to see(: obviously everyone is SUPER emotional and on edge at this point. My goal is to show that these things are affecting EVERYONE. The return of Jaxon King does not just affect Lexi and Rose, but affects Emmeline. And it doesn't just affect them, but it affects the Foot Clan, which affects the Dark Angels which affects pretty much everyone. Everyone is connected in some way. Just like Jaxon said: it isn't that easy to fix.**

 **Good thing I'm the writer & I have SOMEWHAT of an idea of what I'm doing(: **


	22. Reconciliation

"Wait, be careful with that! Those are antiques!"

I look up to see a very frantic-looking April. Her fiery hair is in a frizzy, worn-out ponytail that looks like it's been through some tough times. Her skin is a décor of sweat, not from heat but because of the rise of her nerves. I haven't ever seen her green eyes this wide. I try my hardest not to laugh.

My father, on the other hand, looks suddenly very alert. His entire body freezes, grasping the box he's holding onto with dear life. He tenses and sets his eyes on April, who looks like a ravenous beast at this point.

I accept my failure at holding in a laugh, and just let it out.

"Hey April," I say laughing. "I think we've got it covered, okay? We'll finish unpacking these boxes, and I'll lock up." I walk over and put a hand on her shoulder. "You uh..." I hold back laughter once more, but a smile seeps through my mouth. "You look like you could use a nice bubble bath."

She opens her mouth to object. "But—"

"Nope! Bubble bath!" I exclaim, shaking her shoulders. "Lot's of bubbles. Nice Indie music. Casey can give you a foot rub."

"I did _not_ volunteer for that!" Casey pops up from behind the counter, slamming a box onto it. It rattles some of the other things near it and April cringes. She looks back at her husband and gives him an incredulous look.

"Casey! Those are antiques too!" she says, exhaustion dripping from her voice. Her head shakes and she puts her head in her hands.

Casey winces. "Sorry, babe."

April sighs and looks over at me. "Maybe I do need a break..." But I don't miss the nonchalant glance she takes at my father. I can't blame her for not trusting him completely yet. But her going home early could give him a chance that he can be trusted. He and I have been working at April's store for about a week, and yet her anxiety over the situation has yet to die down.

"Yes," I press. "You do. And remember: a foot rub from Casey. He owes it to you for possibly breaking those antiques."

April looks hesitant, and then she lets out a breath. She takes the key from the lanyard around her neck and hands it to me. "Lock up, but call one of the turtles to come with you to bring the key back to my place."

I don't have to question why she doesn't want me bringing it to her place alone. In a world where the infamous Shredder and his daughter are now the top course meal to all the villains in New York, vulnerability comes easily, seeing that we're now just lowly shop workers.

When April leaves, my father and I get back to unpacking the boxes. He opens up the boxes that had set April off the edge. Eyebrows lifted, he holds up the plastic rubber duckies that fill the box.

"Antique," he says in a solid, matter-of-fact voice.

I laugh. "Well, it's antique to _somebody_."

He shakes his head to himself and unpacks the box, placing each of the rubber duckies into a large braided basket on one of the shelves.

"She's just on edge with, you know..."

"A former New York gang leader unpacking her store?" He laughs slightly. "Yeah. Most people would be, I guess."

"Everyone is still getting used to it all." I pause. "Speaking of which, how're things at the lair?"

He places his hands onto the side of the empty box and laughs. It's good to see him laughing a lot more, but I would be a fool to miss the worried and worn look in his eyes so often.

"They certainly haven't gotten used to it, so I definitely haven't gotten used to it either."

"I mean, you've been trying to kill their family for how long now?"

"Too long." He shakes his head. "I'm lucky that they even allowed me to stay with them. Even though I stay mostly in the interrogation room and they usually slide my meals under the door, it's still better than I would expect. You know, after all...after all I've done."

I snort. "Sliding your meals under the door? They're treating you like a prisoner."

"I mean, granted, they don't know how else to treat me. They're not rude or anything...just...cautious. Splinter has kept his distance and doesn't speak much. Michelangelo will sometimes tell me jokes, but most of them keep their distance. Leonardo will ask me how I'm doing and asks if there's anything he can get me or do. Very polite. Very civil."

I can't help but smile at that. "Yeah...that's Leo."

"Don't you have school in a few days?" Dad asks. He takes a seat and leans against the wall.

I suck in a quick breath and then look down. "Um...yeah. I've actually wanted to talk to you about that." He looks at me, indicating he's listening, so I continue. "I know this is going to sound like I'm giving up, but I'm not. Just hear me out."

I sigh. "With everything going on with the Dark Angels and the Foot Clan and you know...everyone wanting to kill me, I've decided that I'm going to take a...break from college. Just for now."

He doesn't reply, but he looks like he's deep in thought.

"I already talked to Mom about it, and as much as she wants me to continue my education right now, she knows that it just wouldn't be safe for me to keep living away from home."

"Have you thought about maybe living at home, but still attending college? It's not too far, right?"

"I did consider it," I say. "But I just feel that right now, balancing school, work, and everything going on at the Headquarters would be too much right now. I don't exactly want to take on the title of a college dropout or anything, but I mean..." I don't finish. He continues with his look of thought and we sit in silence for a bit before he speaks up again.

"Ultimately, it's your choice. I know personally I would rather you continue your education, but I understand that all of this has been very stressful. I know you're a very hardworking and determined girl, so if you feel that this is the best decision for you, then I will support it one hundred percent."

I let out a sigh of relief. Although he's missed the last eleven years of my life, and those years we'll never get back, I feel grateful that I've at least got him for now. There are more years to come.

 **Leo's POV:**

"Die, die, DIE!" Mikey jumps up, screaming at the television screen. His fingers fumble on the video game controller, and his eyes are glued on the character.

Raph groans from the couch. He's covering his eyes with a pillow. "Master Splinter, can ya tell Mikey to shut up? His stupid zombies are giving me a headache."

Splinter looks amused. He walks through the kitchen with his cane, and opens up the cupboards to fix something for breakfast. "Michelangelo," Splinter says, with his back faced to all of us. "As long as you're not killing live people, then you have my consent."

"Awesome!" Mikey shouts. He sticks it tongue out at Raph. "I've got Splinter's _consent_." He pauses.

A timer goes off and we all look at each other. Raph moves the pillow from his eyes, and instead, rubs the sleep out of them. "Alright. Who's turn is it to feed him?"

"I think it's yours, Raph," I say, scratching my head. "Don gave him dinner last night."

"Nah, I gave him lunch though. Yesterday." He points at Mikey. "It's Mikey's turn."

"Hey guys," Mike says, continuing to engage his eyes in his video game. "You know I'll never miss a chance to tell a new joke." Each time it's Mikey's turn to give Lexi's dad his meal, our young brother always has a joke up his sleeve. Since none of us ever laugh at his jokes, he'll take any opportunity to find someone who will.

I cringe as I remember his joke from yesterday. Something about bagels. Mikey laughed harder than Lexi's dad did.

"No thanks," I say, grimacing. "I think we've had enough of those. I'll do it." After gathering a collection of fruit and cereal (things I don't have the capability of burning), I take off down the hallway to the interrogation room, where Lexi's dad is kept.

I don't exactly know what to call him. I mean, I _do_ know what to call him. I should call him Jaxon, because that's his name. But it's just odd. I keep catching myself from saying "Shredder", although Mikey and Raph don't mind calling him that. Don mostly just refers to him as "He" or "Him". I know it's kind of silly, but it's just an awkward situation for all of us.

When I walk into the room, I find him reading. I place the tray onto the table in front of him and he looks up.

I hold my hands up. "Don't let me interrupt you. Just bringing your breakfast."

He smiles a small smile and nods. "Thank you, Leonardo. And you're not interrupting. I've read this book a number of times."

I don't know what else to say, so I just nod. I could certainly continue the conversation, but it's just awkward. Although maybe I'm the one who's making it awkward. Still, I don't have any intention of breaking that barrier.

After standing there awkwardly for a few moments, I turn to leave the room.

"Do you like to read?"

The question stops me dead in my tracks, and the intensified awkwardness makes me cringe. The question from his mouth sounded so rushed and almost like he was trying so hard to say something before I left the room. I don't know why though; I don't know why he would want to have conversation with any of us.

Still, I turn back around to face him. I try to picture him as someone else; I try to avoid looking at him as the man who has been trying to kill my family for the last ten years.

I try to picture him as Lexi. Maybe it would help me understand him better.

Then I realize that it makes it even more awkward to picture him as the girl you're in love with. So I try to picture him as Jaxon King. But I don't really even know who that is. I have a feeling that this is the closest we'll get to him in a long time. But from what Lexi's told me, he's a really, really good man.

I realize that I haven't answered his question. I fidget a little bit and then look him in the eyes.

"Um...yeah." I turn to face him even more. "I mean, I haven't read in a while...but I used to read a lot."

"What do you like to read?"

I try to kick myself out of the daze I'm in. Besides the casual "How are you?" and "Can I get you anything?", Lexi's father and I don't really converse. None of us really do. I've seen Lexi and her dad interact but none of us really join in; not like we would with Emmeline.

"Uh..." I begin, scratching the back of my neck. "Lot's of things. I really like non-fiction stuff. You know...historical..." I mentally beat myself up for sounding so boring and awkward. Sure, this is the former Shredder, but he's still Lexi's dad! Lexi, whom I still have hopes that she'll get back together with me. I really don't want her father to have a bad opinion of me. "I know that kind of sounds boring."

He shakes his head. "No, not boring at all. I like to read historical things too. It's interesting to see how the world has changed, and the way our history has grown to determine who we become."

I nod. "Yeah. Exactly." I pause, and then try to continue. "But I've been getting into fiction more lately. Lexi asked for a bunch of book series for her birthday and almost one hundred percent of them were dystopian societies. I'd never had much of an interest in those, but she managed to get me hooked."

"Yeah, she seems to really love those," he laughs. "I'm not surprised. When she was little, she was always one of those 'What if' people. You should hear some of the things she used to ask people."

I tilt my head to the side, suddenly intrigued. "Really? Like what?"

He laughs. "She would look at everyday objects and go, 'What if toast was never invented? What if we didn't have soap? What if people could fly to work instead of drive?'"

I can't help but laugh at that and miraculously, I'm feeling myself loosen up. "Did she ever get answers?"

"Oh she got answers, but not exactly the ones that she wanted." He shakes his head. "She was a really curious child. We had to tell her multiple times that sometimes we don't know the answers to everything. But that doesn't mean she didn't try."

"She's stubborn," I say smiling. I soften. "Or determined, I should say."

"Yeah." His face softens. "Determined. Very."

There is silence again. Before it grows awkward again, I find myself speaking before my mind can tell me not to.

"Would you like to come sit out here with everyone? It's just me and my brothers. And our father." I look around the interrogation room, which consists of almost nothing but a pile of books and some papers. "But it sure beats sitting in this room of nothing for the rest of the day."

The look in his eyes switches to something that only a fool would miss: gratitude. And a bit of surprise too. But he doesn't object.

"I would like that a lot." He follows me out of the room, and into the front of the lair. He carries his plate of food with him.

The front of the lair is almost exactly how I left it. Mikey is still playing video games, Raph is covering his face on the couch, and Donnie is fixing the tv remote. The only real thing that has changed is that Splinter is now sitting at the table, eating his breakfast quietly.

"Here," I say, motioning over to the coffee table by the tv screen. "The couch might be more comfortable. And you can put your food down on the coffee table." When I say this, the rest of my family looks up at me. I don't miss the shock in each of their faces, but I pretend to. None of us have voluntarily let Lexi's dad out of the interrogation room without the presence of one of the King's.

He thanks me, and takes a seat. He sits next to Mikey, but a few feet away still. Mikey continues playing his video game, but then glances over. "Ayyyy look who decided to join us!" My younger brother looks at the fruit on the tray. "Oooh wanna hear me make a fruit joke?"

"No, Mikey," each of my brothers (me included) say in unison.

Mikey glares. "I wasn't asking _you guys_!"

Lexi's dad laughs a short laugh. "Go for it."

"Mikey..." Raph mutters, shaking his head. "Don't do it..."

"Aw Raphie..." Mikey coos. "That makes me feel..." He lifts up a piece of watermelon from the tray. "...MELONcholy."

Lexi's dad manages to dodge the pillow Raph chucks at Mikey, but Mikey doesn't.

"Oof..." he says, from behind the pillow. "Orange you glad I paused my video game?"

Another pillow flies across the room, but this time, Mikey dodges it. He suddenly jumps up, excited, then turns to Donnie. "Hey Don! This one is for you!" He picks up a piece of pineapple. "If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple!"

"Thanks, Mike. Means a whole lot."

"You're _berry_ welcome!" When we all groan, he laughs. "Okay, okay, guys, I'm done."

"Ya better be done," Raph mutters. "I ain't got anymore pillows to throw at you."

"And you are _not_ throwing this remote again," Donnie says, placing it lightly onto the table. "I just fixed it for the fourth time this month and am ready to sue you in Court Donatello if you so much as lay any aggressive finger on it."

"All Raph _has_ are aggressive fingers," Mikey says, laughing. "But hey, Court Donatello sounds awesome. Donnie would make a sick lawyer."

"I think we'd all _get_ sick of Donnie being a lawyer," Raph says, snorting. "Already his smart-alec shell never sits itself down, but imagine that same shell in law school."

"I'm glad to know you'd all support me in any of my life decisions," Don says sarcastically. "I really feel the love."

I look over at Lexi's dad. He doesn't look uncomfortable or tense. He actually looks amused. He looks a lot happier than he did all by himself in the interrogation room.

"So guys," I say leaning back. "Lexi's dad told me some pretty funny stuff from when Lexi was a kid."

"Oooh tell us all the good secrets!" Mikey says, excited. "I'm running out of things to blackmail her with."

None of my other family members say anything for a few moments. I know they've been trying to pretend like Lexi's dad isn't in the room because just like earlier, it can be awkward. But I want to try. Because I know that he's trying, so why shouldn't we?

Surprisingly, it seems Raph feels the same way.

"Alright big guy," Raph says. He uncovers his eyes and sits up, facing us. "Whatdya got?"

He tenses up a little bit, but then he looks over at me. I smile at him, and I'm surprised when I find that it doesn't seem all that forced. He relaxes a little, and then looks at each of my brothers before proceeding.

"Did Lexi ever tell you about the time that she accidentally dropped Benjamin into the skunk exhibit at the zoo?"

 **Lexi's POV:**

I walk through the sewers, shivering. My thick cardigan is suddenly not as thick as I thought it was, and I find myself rubbing my arms and moving as quickly as I can to warm up as quickly as I possibly can. I reach the lever, pull it and enter the lair.

The first thing I hear is laughter. Laughter unlike I've heard in the lair in a long, long time.

The lair always has a very warm, gingery feeling. That feeling hasn't changed. But I find a new sense of warmth when I walk in and see what's right in front of me. I feel a sense of warmth I didn't know existed.

Donnie is lounging in his old beat-up chair. Leo is sitting on the couch, laughing and Mikey is on the ground, leaning forward with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Even Raph is laughing, as he's leaning against the wall.

And they're all facing my father, whose face is more animated and more alive than I've seen it in a long time. I try to remain quiet. I want to know what's making them all so happy.

"Wait, wait, wait..." Leo says, choking up a few more laughs. "So she didn't even tell you she was getting back there?"

Dad shakes his head. "Nope. Just jumped right in the back of the trunk. Brought both Benjamin and Rosalie with her. Nearly gave their mother a heart attack."

"What was her plan?" Raph snorts. "How'd she even know that you'd find them back there?"

"I mean, when I heard the unmistakable crying of my three children, I knew something was up." Dad takes a drink of water, and then shakes his head. "You should've seen the looks I got from people who passed by."

"Are you guys _gossiping_ ?" I say from behind, but I can't hold back laughter.

Raph is laughing harder than I've ever seen him laugh before. He's still leaning against the wall, but he's wiping his forehead with his hand. "Lexa," he laughs. "You were such a dumb kid."

"I was not dumb! I was...adventurous!"

Donnie laughs. "Lex, you snuck you and your siblings into the trunk of your dad's car just so you could scare him when he got to work."

"And you dropped Benjamin into the skunk cage at the zoo," Leo adds.

"On accident!" I defend. "Did he happen to mention to you guys that it was an accident?"

"Well that's implied regardless. Don't think that would be your choice of getting rid of someone." Don smirks.

I roll my eyes. "I come here to spend time with you people, and instead I get this."

Mikey ruffles my hair. "Aww ya know we're just messin' with ya, babe."

I look at my dad and rub my temples. "How many stories did you tell them?"

"We've been talking since breakfast..." Dad says, glancing over at the turtles. "So...a lot?"

"Great. There goes my last strip of dignity." But I can't be angry. I can't even pretend to be angry. Because I've got a sight in front of me that I only dreamed of: my best friends and my father getting along.

I continue to sit there and hang out with everyone, and conversation goes on. After a while, I find myself on one of the couches, just waiting and listening.

"How was work?" Leo asks, looking at me smiling. The smile that still gives me butterflies.

"It was alright. We learned some stuff...I came here to talk about but I'm sure that it can wait until tomorrow."

Leo's face grows serious. "Are you sure? We'd all be glad to listen." I look over at my dad and the rest of the turtles. They're engaged in their own conversations.

I shake my head and look back at the blue-clad turtle. "It's okay. I'll tell you guys later, I promise. Right now, I'd rather keep the light mood."

He pauses, but then he nods in understanding. I smile and take his arm.

"Thank youuu..." I say, and he laughs.

"Of course, Lex." He pulls me in for a hug and I'm suddenly wishing for his lips. Each day, I want him more and more. So what's the problem? Why can't we just get back together?

I'm scared. I'm scared and I don't know what I'm scared of. All I know is that I'm scared.

I lean in closer to Leo. I try to make it casual, but obviously he notices. But that's okay, because when he does notice, he pulls me in tighter. My stomach erupts into butterflies, and I feel my heartbeat quicken. I look over at him once more and can't help but smile.


	23. Into Another's Eyes

Not that most people would know this, but the sewers are the least pleasant during the summer time. This is mainly due to the intense heat, and humidity that manages to seep into the sewers, lingering and intensifying the smell. Because of this, I'm really grateful it's almost November, since it's cooled down a significant amount. Yes, it still smells like a sewer, but at least I'm not sweating buckets.

Mallory is by my side. It's a Saturday evening and what better place to spend one of those, than the turtles' place?

When we get to the lair, Mallory and I are both surprised to find it vacant. Or almost vacant.

"Hi Splinter," I say, looking around. "Where is everybody?"

"Good evening, Alexandra. It's wonderful to see you here." He nods to Mallory. "As well as you, Miss. Kress." He looks back to me. "My sons have gone for a night patrol tonight, but they should be back soon. They left about an hour ago. If tonight is particularly clear, we should be expecting them soon. Feel free to make yourself at home while you wait."

"Thank you," I say, as Mallory sits down and takes the remote. "There are some things that we've found out in the Headquarters, and I wanted to share those things with you all."

Splinter looks curious, but he keeps his arms tightly around his walking stick. "Well, I do look forward to hearing those things. Thank you for coming." He slowly makes his way over to the kitchen, where I realize that he had made a plate of nachos. "If you don't mind, I'm going to sit here and watch my shows." Mallory hands him the remote and he nods a thank you, soon after turning on one of his soap operas.

"So how's school been going?" I ask Mallory.

She rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out. "Awful. It's school. You wouldn't know because you quit."

"I didn't quit," I say, shaking my head. "I'm taking a break. I've got a lot of pressure right now."

"Right," she says. "Sorry. No time for stressing over logarithms when you're stressing over getting kidnapped."

We sit there for a while, talking and watching Splinter's show. During commercial breaks, he turns to us and joins in on parts of our conversation. It's the first time in a while that I've been able to talk to Splinter without the guys being around, and it's nice. He's like a grandfather. And he's got lots of stories to tell. After all, he wasn't always a rat.

"Long, long ago, I lived during a time of war. I lived through several times of war. I remember my family and I coming on a large ship, from Japan. I was a young boy, but I remember it vividly. It had been nearly a decade since Pearl Harbor had been bombed, but grudges remained with the Americans against the Japanese." He takes a long sip of his tea. "I remember being ridiculed as a young boy. Discrimination was strong, and persecution even stronger."

"I only had two friends for a great portion of my childhood. And in spite of the bullying, great it was." He smiles. "My two closest and only friends, Seiichi Hashimoto, and Susan Weatherby." Splinter laughs to himself. "Susan would get upset when anyone would call her Susan, so most everyone called her Suzy. Except I called her Susan a lot, to upset her. I was...what one would call, obnoxious."

"Without them, I don't know how I would've gotten by. I had my family, yes, but as a little boy moving to a brand new country, it's hard to get by without friends. But vice versa, it's hard to make friends. Seiichi had also moved from Japan, only a few years before I had. He was a bit of my mentor for getting through the persecution. And Suzy was certainly something. She was the only little white girl whose parents didn't restrain her from talking to Japanese boys. It was a sad time that had come, but I'm certainly glad I had them."

"Where did you learn all your ninjistu, Splinter?" I ask him.

"Well, at about the age of twelve or so, my father insisted that I learn the ways of defending myself. Both Seiichi and I received lessons, though Seiichi seemed to progress much faster than I did. He always seemed to be that way. I was the straggler." He pauses and thinks for a few moments. "One thing I regret was not using my power in a wiser way."

"How did you use it?" Mallory asks. We are both taken back—Master Splinter is the wisest we know.

He shakes his head. "Like the coward I was. I grew arrogant for a while. I began to grow more skilled in my ways of ninjistu and began using it to intimidate and hurt people. The bullies whom I once feared, now feared me. My mind, at the time, reasoned and rationalized and decided that it was okay to hurt them because they had hurt me."

"One day, a group of police officers showed up at my doorstep. They took my father away, and took me away too. They arrested him for teaching me ninjistu, which to them, was practically asking for another Pearl Harbor incident."

"That's not fair though..." Mallory's eyebrows draw together. "You were just defending yourself."

"That's what I tried to rationalize with," Splinter says. "But what started out as self-defense, Miss Kress, ended up being much more than that. I abused my skills, and brought shame upon my family."

"Did your father get released?"

"He did." Splinter pauses. "But the legacy I had left remained. People kept an eye on our family. I felt so ashamed. My father was beyond disappointed in me, and he made sure to let me know. And I knew I deserved all the lectures. I had abused the power he had given me, and ultimately, if just indirectly, betrayed his trust."

"Still, Seiichi and Suzy stayed by my side. The night after all of this had happened, Seiichi and Suzy came over. I cried for hours, and they just sat there and listened. Seiichi tried to cheer me up, and Suzy made me some hot cocoa. I was grateful that she wasn't treating me any different, for being different."

There is silence for a few moments.

"Is that why you taught the turtles ninjistu?" I ask slowly. "To defend themselves? Because they're different?"

"I certainly kept in mind that my sons were different. But I taught them ninjistu so that they'll use it wisely and only when necessary. Self-defense is one thing. But humility must be maintained or else your power will conceal the weaknesses you still have. When I taught them ninjistu, I taught them well. But I also taught them to be humble about it. They must understand that not everyone has the luxury of being taught such skill."

"So, show mercy, essentially."

"Yes. Show mercy. I taught them to recognize that they have more skill and power than most people have the opportunity to. I taught them things my father taught me, over fifty years ago. And those were things his father taught him over fifty years before that. These are skills that not everybody is able to obtain, so I only hope that they recognize that."

Splinter pauses, and then leans in, to look at both of us in the eyes. "I always tell them that if there is a point where they are in a fight, and they have the opportunity to kill a person, no matter how horrible that person is, if that person is unarmed, do not kill them. When you have the greater power, hold that greater power and hold it closely, but never feel the need to use it unless drastic measures draw near." He swallows. "It's something I need them to learn. They must learn from my mistakes."

I feel like Splinter has unrolled an entire layer of himself that I didn't even realize was there. But then when I think about it, it makes sense. No one is that wise simply from doing nothing. It's experience and mistakes...those are the things that make us wise.

We continue sitting there, talking for a while. Time flies by quickly (with lots of new things to learn) and soon, the turtles come into the lair. And they definitely make it known that they're here.

"Dudes!" Mikey shouts at the top of his lungs. "That was awesome! I feel so alive!" He does a little spin. "Did you see those guys? They were like BOW! Then we were like POW! Then they were like OW! Then we were like...wow!" Mikey punches the air and kicks. "We probably knocked last night's dinner out of 'em. Right, Raph?"

Raph comes in, with just a few cuts on his face and a few on his arm. "I'm gonna knock last night's dinner outta ya if you don't stop talkin' about it."

Mikey snorts. "My dinner was already knocked out of me. Remember? Leo cooked last night." He snickers and glances towards the blue-clad turtle.

Leo clutches his hand to his upper arm, and winces a bit. "Thanks, Mike."

"I'm off to my room to go properly treat my wounds. Anyone else who doesn't want an infection is free to come along," Don says. He sees me and Mallory sitting. "Hey girls."

"Treating wounds? Nah bro, I'd rather keep these battle scars!" Mikey flexes his muscles.

"My sons!" Splinter barks sternly. "You will allow your brother to address your wounds."

They obey.

Splinter shakes his head to himself, and then looks at us. "I teach them to be humble. But of course, some things go in one ear and out the other."

"Do you ever worry about them while they're out patrolling?" I ask. Splinter's soap opera comes to an end, although he stopped watching it a while ago. He turns it down a bit, but leaves the television on.

"They are my sons," he says. His voice has a slight sense of helplessness. "Of course I worry for them. I love them. But I trust that they will take care of themselves, and more importantly, take care of each other. And if something does happen, I just keep faith that they'll return to me and we figure everything out. It's the best way to learn."

"Well even though they don't show it much, I know that they care for each other. A lot. They're brothers, and of course they're gonna fight, but I've seen them fight together," Mallory says, smiling at the rat. "You've done a really awesome job raising them. Even if they're always at each other's throats."

"OW! Donnie, stop being so aggressive!" Mikey shrieks. "GAH! Stop! No more needles, no more needles, ow..."

We all laugh, as Mikey continues to complain. After a few minutes, he comes out. His lower lip juts out and he's looking at the ground.

"Aw..." I say, smiling. "Does somebody need a hug?" He just looks up, and nods. I grin and shake my head. "Come here, Mike." While cupping his freshly bandaged arm, he comes to me and sits down on the couch. I give him a hug and can't help but laugh. He digs his head into my shoulder.

"You're like a giant dog," I say, laughing. "Down, boy." He immediately drops to the ground and starts rolling, sticking out his tongue. Mallory and I both look to each other and burst into laughter.

"How come you can call Mikey a dog, but when we do it, it's 'rude'?" Raph mutters, shaking his head.

"Okay, guys," I say, leaning back. "There's an actual reason I came here. I found out some stuff about Karai and I wanted to tell you guys."

"Should we go get your dad?" Raph asks, rubbing his bandaged shoulder. "Is it stuff he should know?"

I nod. "Yeah, that would be good. Thank you." Raph heads down the hallway, just as Donnie and Leo come through.

As they stand side by side in the frame of the hallway, that's when I realize how similar they look. Not just their similar mask colors, but their personas are very similar. Leo is composed, and so is Donnie. They both stand up very straight, and both tend to have really calm looks on their faces. Maybe that's one reason I liked Donnie's presence during the time right after Benjamin's passing. He wasn't Leo, but he was similar to Leo. He reminded me of Leo, but not enough that it hurt.

I feel immediately comforted when Leonardo sits next to me. I fight every part of me just to not inch closer to him, but I lose that battle and end up doing so anyway. He doesn't seem to mind, if even notice.

"We've been doing a lot of research on Karai and the Foot Clan right now, since they're currently the most vulnerable. They're newly without a leader, so Karai has really taken charge unlike ever before. We've seen her on only a few occasions talking with Dark Angels, but that's mainly because the Dark Angels are very, very careful about being seen."

"Where do you usually find them?" Raph asks, flopping onto a chair.

"Dark alleyways and rooftops. Usually rooftops, since regular criminals tend to stay on the ground. Dark Angels aren't regular criminals, and neither is the Foot Clan." I shake my head. "Karai has been getting more and more involved with the Dark Angels."

"Have you been able to track her to their lair?"

I laugh without humor. "Not a chance. We've gotten close, but Karai has picked up a new hobby of throwing smoke pellets. She's really dedicated to this whole 'Dark Angels' thing."

"Not for long," Donnie says. "You know...once she fulfills her plan with taking down Dark Angels, who knows what she'll do?"

"Come on, Donnie. Do you actually think Karai will be able to take down the Dark Angels?" Mikey drags, leaning back on the couch.

"Karai can do a lot when she's determined," Dad says quietly. "She's to be feared more than you realize."

"But didn't ya teach 'er all she knows?" Raph asks.

Dad sets his jaw. "I did. But the thing about teaching somebody so much is that you lose power. And more importantly, they can use it against you." He pauses. "Yes, I taught her all she knows. But she learned through experience, and that power only grew and grew."

"Mr. King is right," Splinter says gravely. "Karai may be someone we've dealt with for a long time, but that doesn't mean that she isn't dangerous. We mustn't ever underestimate the enemy."

"Of course, the Dark Angels certainly are," I say, shaking my head. "From the looks of it, they have absolutely no idea of her plans. Dad, you said you were the only one she told, right?"

Dad nods. "To my knowledge."

"Then she's pretty darn good at keeping secrets. We've seen her with The Dark Angels, but we haven't seen much else. All we know is that they're working together, and it seems like they're working together for something in particular. We don't know what that is yet, but we're going to try our very, very hardest to avoid them getting it. Whatever it may be."

"Dudes..." Mikey says, shaking his head. "Karai's bein' really fishy."

"Well she has to be," Leo says. "Betrayal isn't uncommon. I don't think she realizes what she's getting herself into, but I also think the Dark Angels are underestimating her. Either way, both sides are going to be caught of guard."

My phone buzzes.

 _Rose: LEXI_

 _Me: ROSE_

 _Rose: I NEED YOU_

 _Me: WHAT_

 _Rose: I NEED YOU_

 _Me: WHEN_

 _Rose: NOW_

 _Me: FOR WHAT_

 _Rose: JUST COME_

 _Me: WHY_

 _Rose: PLEASE_

 _Me: OKAY_

 _Rose: GOOD TALK. SEE YOU SOON._

I laugh and shake my head, sliding my phone back into my pocket. "I'm sorry I've gotta leave so early guys, but Rose needs me."

"Let me escort you home," Donnie says, standing up. "I'm sorry; I know you don't like it, but..."

"But everyone wants to kill me," I say, and take in a breath. "Onward, my noble steed."

Donnie and I walk through the sewers in silence for a few minutes.

"How was patrol?" I ask him, rubbing my hands up and down my arms. It wasn't nearly this cold coming down to the lair, but I guess it makes sense since it's become darker and the night is growing on.

"It was...interesting."

"Where'd you get your battle scars?" I ask, grinning. Donnie gives me a look, which I can barely see in the dark, but I can see enough to know the look is there. I laugh.

"Some Purple Dragons who think it's fun to throw knives."

"Ooh," I grimace. "What kind of knives?"

"Butter knives." When I laugh at his response, his shakes his head. "You laugh now, Lexi. So did we. And that was a mistake. Who knew butter knives could hurt so much." He rubs his arm, which is all stitched up. "It's all about the person _throwing_ the butter knives."

I hold in another laugh. "Okay, okay. I'll be careful around the next shady baker buttering his toast."

Donnie glares at me. "Be careful, or _I'm_ gonna start throwing butter knives."

I laugh. "I'm just kidding, Donnie. I'm glad you guys ended up being okay."

"Yeah..." He looks like he's gonna say something else, but he doesn't.

I tilt my head. "What?"

"Debating whether or not I should tell you something..."

"Well, if it's a debate, then the answer is yes. There, problem solved. Spill."

He hesitates. We reach the lid of the sewer. He climbs up, and then helps me out when we reach the top. We short-cut through the alleyways (usually a stupid idea, but I've got a ninja turtle with me, so it's okay).

"You've gotta promise not to tell Leo I told you. Or Master Splinter. So will Raph and Mikey if they know what's good for them."

"I promise," I say. "What happened?"

Donnie sighs. "Before I tell you anything, just know this: Splinter specifically told us not to be seen. If we save somebody, it's important to try our very hardest to save them, and then get out of there as soon as possible, with almost no trace that we were ever there."

"Alright. That makes sense." We reach one of the alleyways that leads up to my apartment. As if on cue, Donnie gets in front of me. I hop onto his back, link my arms around his neck and hang on tightly. He begins to scale the wall.

"Well...tonight, like you heard, we ran into some Purple Dragons. But they..." Donatello pauses. "They had a kid with them. Well, two kids. A baby and the other kid looked about five."

"You're kidding me," I mutter. "That makes me so angry that they would drag children into their crap!"

"Yeah," Donnie grunts. "Well, it made us irritated too. Leo in particular." He keeps climbing. "Look, what Leo did? It wouldn't have been that bad if he had stopped at saving the kids. It's what he did after that was risky."

"What'd he do?"

"So we got into some nasty fights with the Purple Dragons, as you could tell, but it wasn't as bad as it could've been. We were carrying some smoke pellets, and we tossed those as soon as we got our hands on the kids. Once we got out of there, the plan was to just put the kids in a really busy place where obviously someone would find them and help them. We didn't know where they came from; we had no idea where to look, and we couldn't disobey Master Splinter's orders in regards to being seen. There was no other option." He takes in a breath. "Well, Leo thought there was. He...started talking to the kid."

"The older one?"

"Yeah. That was mistake number one. I mean, it's one thing to save the kid but to actually present himself right there was kind of dumb. But he asked the kid where he last saw his mom. The boy was really scared at first, but he kind of calmed down after talking to Leo."

We reach my window. I put my finger to the keypad Mom had installed, that would open my window. We can't risk leaving it unlocked anymore. It beeps a few times, and then I hear a click. I open it up, and allow Donnie inside. He's not done telling his story, so I take a seat on my bed and listen. Donnie closes the window, and looks out it for a few moments before shaking his head to himself. He turns back to me with a strange expression on his face.

"It was so...weird." He scratches the back of his neck. "I've never seen Leo interact with a kid before. But he...he really interacted well. I mean, it was just...unexpected. He like, got down on his knees to talk to him, and he picked up the baby and held her in his arms. It was..." He shakes his head. "Besides the point. Anyway, the little boy opened up a bit. He told us his name was Aidan, and that his little sister was named Mia. He said he was getting ready to on a walk with his mom and little sister, just a walk around the park. The last place he saw her was in his apartment."

"Did he know where it was?"

"Kind of. We had to try long and hard but we finally found essentially where he lived. There was just one problem..." Donnie shakes his head. "In order to find it, we had to take the halls of the actual apartment complex. We weren't just risking being seen by two little kids anymore. Literally anybody could see us. It was dangerous and reckless and completely irresponsible and..." Donnie stops, and looks over at me.

He's obviously very upset about it.

"Lexi...don't tell him I told you. Agh...I just...I'm really upset that he'd risk our family like that. All for...all for two little kids we don't even know. Is that insensitive of me?"

I shake my head slowly. "It's just you being protective. You love your family and you prioritize your family. That's not a bad thing. But Donnie, I think Leo was trying to put himself in someone else's shoes. Imagine that poor mother who lost her two little children in New York City. That's hard on a mother. Really hard. It's scary, so naturally, I think Leo was just trying to do what would make the mother most comfortable."

"Yeah," Donnie mutters. "Well, I'd prefer Leo to keep his motherly instinct outside of business hours."

I laugh. "Try not to worry about it too much, okay, Don?"

He rubs his neck. "Right. Sorry. I just needed to vent a little I guess. Since ya know, it would be a really bad idea to tell Splinter. As irritated with Leo as I am, I wouldn't do that to him."

I smile. "You're a good brother then," I say. "I sure hope the others are the same."

It's only moments after Donnie leaves, that my door flies open and Rose appears in the doorway.

"BOYS."

"What?" I scream.

"Boys!"

"Why are you telling me?"

"Because all my friends hate me right now!"

I laugh and shake my head in disbelief. "As if," I say. "Okay, who's the boy?" Rose hasn't had a steady boyfriend since she declared a while ago that she was going to try not to be in a relationship for a while. But naturally, being the beautiful and social person she is, she still talks to quite a bit of them. Usually she friendzones them right off the bat, but I know she has crushes.

"Okay." She pauses and scrunches your nose. "First of all, your room smells like sewer water. Let's go into the living room." Without waiting for me to reply, she turns and heads out of my room.

My eyebrows draw together, and I start to follow her. I then stop, and pick up a bottle of "Twisted Peppermint" perfume, spraying it probably more than necessary, before leaving the room.

"Who's the boy?" I say laughing. Rose is leaning over her phone and pressing it against her chest.

"Okay," she says. "So there's this guy named Nate and he's super sweet and nice and funny and he and I have been texting. So just a bit ago, he was like, 'So...you going to prom?' and I was like, 'Ummm no, I'm homeschooled' and he was like, 'Hmm...well what if someone asked you to prom?' which is essentially him hinting that he's gonna ask me to prom but then there is this other guy named Brett and he's really nice and stuff but he's really clingy and he has this huge crush on me and he actually texted me and asked me to prom and I haven't replied to him because I don't know how to without sounding rude but—"

"Ha!" I laugh and clap my hands together.

"It gets worse!" she exclaims.

"Worse than two boys wanting to go to prom with you?"

"Yes! So anyway, Nate and I were still texting and he was eventually like, 'Hey, I know this is kind of informal and random, but do you want to go with me to get some coffee sometime?' and I screamed—"

"Naturally."

"But _then_ ," she pauses to catch her breath. "But _then_ , I went to respond right as Brett texted me to ask if I was still there, and because I'm an idiot, I restated Nate's question by being like, 'I would love to get coffee sometime!' but guess who I freaking sent it to?!"

I hold back laughter. "I'm guessing it wasn't Nate, but it's just a hunch."

She groans and flops backwards onto the couch. "So now Brett thinks I want to go get coffee with him and he was like, 'Oooh really? Well, how does five tomorrow sound? I'll pick you up.'" She pauses and looks me directly in the eyes. "And you know the worst part of it all?" My response is just a suppressed smile. "He sent me a _winky face_!"

I can't stop the laughter. "Oh girl," I say, shaking my head. "The winky face means business!"

She looks upset, but can't help but laughing too. "What do I do?"

"Have you responded?"

"No!" she exclaims. "How am I supposed to clear things up?"

"Honestly," I say sheepishly. "If you really want him to get off your back, literally tell him that that was for someone else. Sure, it sounds rude and insensitive, but that isn't your fault. And if he gets offended, then that's his fault because you're really sweet and nice and you don't mean to deliberately hurt him."

"What if he gets all overprotective?"

I smile. "There are restraining orders for a reason."

This makes her laugh. She finally looks like she's calmed down. She looks down at her phone and sighs. "Okay...I'll text him back. What should I say?"

My sister and I talk for a little bit, discussing what she should say to him. When she finally sends the message, she freaks out when she remembers that she didn't ever reply to Nate. After the whole fiasco is over, she looks exasperated.

"Thanks, Lexi. I would've died without you." She pauses. "Hope I didn't interrupt any make-out sessions with Leo."

"Ha-ha," I say. "Very funny." She just snickers. Then I remember something that she had said when I first walked in. "Wait...why did you say all your friends hate you?"

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "They're so overdramatic. Like, okay, I think Nate is cute and stuff and I want to go on a date with him because he's really sweet and I like being around him. But Bethany is the one who introduced us, but she's had a huge crush on him. The thing is, I didn't know that, literally at all. She just told me today, after he and I had already been talking."

"Okay," I say, leaning my arm against the couch. "That's not fair to you. At all. You had no idea. If she wanted to make a move, she should've. And if she wasn't, she should've at least told you."

"Exactly!" she says. "Like, I totally respect the whole 'Don't date the guy your friend has a crush on/has dated unless they say it's okay' rule. But I had no idea, so honestly it isn't my fault."

"What about Liz and Andrea and everybody?"

She laughs bitterly. "They all sided with Bethany. Like, Liz was nice and tried to stay neutral, but I don't know, I'm getting vibes from her that she believes all the things Bethany says."

I laugh. "See, that's why I have two friends, and four turtles. No drama."

"Well from the sound of it, it seemed like Donnie had some drama going on." She pauses and looks at me. "Don't worry, I didn't hear anything. Just passionate muffled turtle ranting."

I laugh. "Well that's essentially what it was."

Rose's phone lights up. She squeals and jumps around. "Ahh! Nate wants to Facetime me!" She's already headed to her room. "Thanks, Lexi!" I laugh and give her a little wave.

I don't know if it's just me not wanting to see her grow up, or if it's the fact that for a while, she had been trying to grow up to fast. But I prefer this Rose. The Rose that squeals over crushes and gets excited and nervous and makes stupid mistakes like sending a text message to the wrong guy. It makes me happy because she seems happier and more herself than she ever was in any of those other relationships.

I jump at the knock at the window. My eyes meet with those of a dark shadowy figure. As I hesitantly move closer, I realize it's Leo. His katanas stick out the sides of the sheaths on his shell, and he's holding something. When I open the window, that's when I realize it's my jacket.

He quietly hops inside and looks at the ground. He smiles a bit, but avoids eye contact with me. "You forgot your jacket." The sound in his voice is unmistakable: he's upset. More importantly, he's hurt. I have very rarely heard this emotion in his voice before but the few times I have, it broke my heart each time.

My first instinct is to ask this: "Did Mikey and Raph tell Splinter what you did?" And I almost do. I shut my mouth after starting the sentence with "Did". He doesn't seem to notice. He just looks at me with such hurt in his eyes, and then looks at the floor again. His forehead creases.

"Can I..." He swallows. "Can I sit down?"

"Yes..." I whisper. "Yes, of course."

He sits down on the couch, and puts his head in his hands. "Why is it...why is it that every time I try to do something right, it ends up being so wrong?"

I slowly come and sit down next to him. I don't know what to say. So I just sit there and wait.

He suddenly sets his jaw. "I'm not going to ask if Donnie told you what happened. He seemed really angry at me; angrier than Raph even. I wouldn't be surprised if he blew off some steam while he was taking you home." Even though I don't say anything, he looks to my face. It's almost like he can read me in an instant: like he knows Donnie told me.

He turns away from me, and puts his head in his hands again. "I...I thought I was doing the right thing, Lexi. I couldn't just...I couldn't just leave them there. Sure, the idea was to leave them in a public place. But at night? In New York City? There are so many predators out there...so many people who would hurt them...I just..." His voice cracks, like he is broken. "I just couldn't let that happen."

"But no. I'm 'putting my family in danger' just by trying to help somebody! I care about my family so much, no one has the freaking right to tell me that I don't care about our family's safety! I care about our family's safety so freaking much but you know what? Maybe I wanted to think about somebody else for once. We aren't special. There are other families that need to be safe too!" He sounds really angry all of the sudden. But when I look closer, I see that tears are pouring out his eyes.

He's hurt, and that's being expressed through anger.

"They say I'm being selfish!" He laughs bitterly. "You know, I thought Raph and Mikey would keep their mouths shut. But Mikey can't even do that for a few minutes. Just minutes after you left the lair, he mentioned it. And that set Master Splinter off. I haven't seen him that frustrated in a long time. He said I brought dishonor by not following his orders." Leo squeezes his eyes shut, but more tears come. "He doesn't understand, Lexi..."

"I know..." My voice sounds broken too, so I decide it's best I don't speak. Just listen. But I bring myself closer to him, so that I'm sitting directly in front of him. He's no longer hiding the fact that he's crying.

"Yes, I recognize that I put my family in danger. And I dragged my brothers into it too. I risked our safety, and you know what? I fully accept that it was reckless and irresponsible." He pauses. "But for them to tell me that I don't care about the safety of the family..." His voice breaks again. "That's a stab right in the heart."

I bring myself closer to him, so my knees are touching his. "Leo..." I whisper. I take his hand into mine. "You care about your family. Everyone knows that. You care about your family so much." I pause. "What you did tonight...that was brave. And you know what? It was selfless. Because even though you knew it might risk your family's safety, you recognized that there were other people's safeties to worry about too."

The tears keep coming, but he sniffles and looks back up at me. I offer a small smile, and lift my hand up to wipe his tears away. He closes his eyes when I do that. When I'm done, I leave my hand on his face. He puts his arms around my waist and pulls me closer. His eyes remain closed. He's still listening.

"Leo. You are an incredible leader. And one attribute of being a leader...well, it's doing things that others might not agree with. It doesn't mean those things are wrong. What you did tonight...you restored two little children to a mother. A mother who was probably worried sick." I pause and smile, rubbing my thumb against his face. "And you made some new friends."

He laughs quietly, and sniffles once more. His tears are mostly gone, and his breathing has steadied.

"I know you're hurt that your family doesn't understand. But...just remember, it's okay. Sometimes, people aren't going to understand why we do the things that we do. In fact, sometimes we won't even understand why we do what we do." I bring my voice to a whisper. "But you know what? That's okay. Because the point is that we do them. And that we do them because they make sense to us."

This is what makes him open his eyes. He slowly lifts his hand and brushes my hair behind my ear, and the other hand he keeps around my waist. He looks at me for a few moments and leans closer.

"They make sense to us..." he whispers. He looks like he's thinking hard.

"Yeah," I whisper back. "Because it feels right."

He holds my gaze for a few moments, until I find us both leaning in. He tightens his hold around me, and I grip onto his plastron, and close my eyes. Our foreheads are now together, and I can feel his breath as he whispers to me.

"You make sense to me."

I smile. "And you make sense to me."

I'm millimeters from his lips.

Moments from his kiss.

I swear, I feel his lips touch mine for a millisecond.

"Lexi!" Rose calls.

I pull away immediately, but Leo sits there. He looks down at our hands, and has a distant smile on his face. He looks like he's in a daze. I don't blame him—so am I. My heart is still racing from being so close to him. The passion still seems to be running through our connected hands.

I find his eyes, his beautiful eyes, and I smile. I pretend like I didn't hear Rosalie calling my name; I pretend for just a few seconds.

"You did something good tonight, okay? Even if your family doesn't realize that now. You realize it." I pause. "And I realize it too."

He smiles back, and squeezes my hand.

 **A/N: HI YES I AM TERRIBLE, PLAYING WITH Y'ALLS HEART STRINGS LIKE THIS. But to be completely honest, nothing is as simple as it seems. You could say "oh why don't Lexi and Leo just get back together?" It's an emotional matter though as well as circumstantial. Given the circumstances, a relationship is scary. But the spark is clearly still there(:**

 **Also how'd you guys like getting a little look into Splinter's childhood? I think it's cool to remember he was a child once too. He isn't the way he is for no reason.**

 **I have so many plans I can't wait for you guys to see what happens next(:**


	24. Halloween

"Sexy Luigi coming through!" Rose shouts jokingly from the table. She looks cozy in her pajamas—a tank top and polka dot pajama bottoms—and her hair is in a messy bun. She's got a deck of cards on the table, which she's playing with one of her friends.

"Dang. You could set a house on fire." Her friend Liz whistles from beside her.

I roll my eyes at them, and shake my head to myself. "Shouldn't you children be out trick-or-treating?" I tease, which earns a pillow smacked in my face.

"Shouldn't you be going to the club you're off to?" Rose shoots back, with a smirk on her face.

"Ha-ha," I say. "Funny. But no clubs tonight, Rosie. Not only am I underage, but I have absolutely no interest in jumping around with a bunch of sweaty drunk people."

"Okay well you sure look like you're going to one," Rose says, shaking her head and laughing. "How'd Mallory get you to wear that?"

I look in the full-length mirror next to the front door, and take a look at my outfit. I'm wearing a green short-sleeve shirt tucked into some black shorts that aren't exactly the longest. I've got a green cap with the letter "L" on it (standing for Luigi). Mallory and I will be wearing the same outfits, only she's Mario.

I throw my hands up. "Look, it isn't like I even want to go to this stupid party."

"Are you serious?" Rose exclaims. "You're going to a college party! Where there will probably be a bunch of really hot college guys! With degrees in like, neuroscience." She lets out a sigh, closing her eyes and grabbing onto her friend's arm. "Liz, imagine a really hot Australian guy."

Liz closes her eyes too. "Oooh I'm imagining it..." Her faces lights up, but she keeps her eyes closed. "And he's got heavy scruff...not a long beard, but not bare-faced."

"Strong arms..." Rose says.

"Sweet but intimidating..." Liz continues.

I snort. "Okay, you guys just described Liam Hemsworth." They both open their eyes, and I shake my head. "I highly doubt that Liam Hemsworth or anyone similar will be at that party tonight. Probably just a bunch of drunk undergraduates."

"So one step below that club you can't go to."

"You got it." A few moments later, Mallory has barged through the door (knocking is a joke in this house).

It's not meant to be one of those ironic things, but red really is Mallory's color. Her fiery red spirals of hair compliment her sassy and bold attitude, which is often associated with the color red, which happens to be a color that accentuates everything about her. Tonight, she's got a short sleeve red t-shirt on, with the same black shorts as me, and a red Mario hat.

"We're gonna be late!" Mallory exclaims, grabbing me by the hand.

"Have fun avoiding the sweaty drunk undergraduates!" Rose calls after me.

"Say hi to Liam Hemsworth!" Liz adds, just as Mallory closes the door.

Her red spirals fly behind her back like a cape as she hurries down the hallway, but not in an anxious way. She has a slight bounce to her step, almost seeming to glide across the ground. I smile. She's excited. Mallory has always been one of those people to live the life of the party. I, on the other hand, am a little more comfortable with a book and some hot chocolate. But if you get me together with a bunch of friends I really enjoy being around, I'm just like Mallory. Noah used to throw parties all the time in Carlsbad. The only difference was that those parties had ice cream and snow cones and ended before nine-thirty.

I run to catch up with Mallory, and link arms with her. "Slow down there, cow girl," I say laughing. "Why are you so excited?"

"It's Halloween! My favorite holiday of the year!" She grins and looks around. "I just love all the pumpkins and the smell of cinnamon and..." She sniffs the air, even though the scent of car gas covers up any possible cinnamon scents she might think she's experiencing.

I look around, and I can't help but notice that she's right. There's something happy in the air; something light and warm. It's a gingery feeling, despite the chilly air. Our ears are so used to hearing cars speeding past, and horns honking that we hardly notice it. An ambulance sounds in the distance, and there are more horns. As people push past us on the sidewalk, their feet all click onto the sidewalk loudly, as if it's no different than any night. The amount of taxis has multiplied, and Tony's Pizza Parlor looks like it will burst completely if another person walks in.

We reach a quieter side of the city, but not too quiet, since it's still the city. I hear a loud noise—like something crashing to the ground. Even though I've been hearing loud sounds all night, something seems off. The gingery feeling is gone and I feel myself slowing down, and eventually coming to an entire halt. I find myself next to a building. My eyes rise to the top, and I notice that many of the windows are either broken or sealed up with wood.

Mallory stops walking, and turns around to face me. "What's up?" She walks closer, and then follows my eyes to the building next to me. "Did you see something?"

I hesitate, though I don't know why. I didn't see anything, but I heard something. I don't know what it was, but I know it was something.

"No..." I say slowly. "I just...heard something."

"From the building?" she asks, and I nod. She looks back up at the building, and eyes the smashed windows. "It looks abandoned. Are you sure it was coming from that building?"

"No," I say, unsure. Then I shake my head again. "No."

We both stand there for a few more moments.

Another crash sounds, this time, much louder and clearer. Now it's certain that it's coming from the direction of the abandoned building. I look to Mallory to see if she heard it too, but I don't have to look at her face to determine that because she is already pressing forward into the door of the building.

"Wait!" I exclaim, reaching out and grabbing her arm. "We don't know what's in there."

She raises her eyebrows. "Let's find out," she says, like it's the most obvious thing ever. Without waiting for me to stop her, she proceeds to try the door. It's locked. I find myself walking over to her, and her muttering under her breath. "Now why would an abandoned building be locked..." she asks quietly, then looks both ways. People are still busily walking but none seem to pay any attention to us.

I blink, and barely have time to see Mallory disappear behind the corner of the building, near the alleyway.

"Mallory!" I whisper-shout. She doesn't turn back or answer me. I groan and follow her around the corner. When I turn, I find her fixing her foot on some loose bricks on the ground. "What are you doing?"

"Shh!" Mallory whispers. "I'm going to see what's going on!"

"No," I press, crossing my arms. "You're going to get kidnapped."

Her jaw moves as she shifts her weight onto one of the window sills to a window that isn't broken. She attempts to open it, but it doesn't budge. Her eyes lift up to the window above that one, which is a good twenty feet off the ground.

"Well," she grunts. "If they're both happening, I can at least see what's going on before they gag me." She continues climbing. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but Melinda once revealed to you her 'master plan' because she was under the impression that you wouldn't escape." She flashes a grin. "But you did."

"You can't generalize off of my circumstances!" I exclaim, which earns another shush from Mallory.

"You're also doing what is known as breaking and entering." The sudden new, low voice makes us both jump. Mallory shrieks, and loses her grip on the wall. I watch in horror as my friend flies backwards, heading fast for the concrete. I blink and she's being held up by a red-clad turtle.

I let out a breath. "Raph..." I close my eyes. "You almost killed Mallory..."

"Oops," he says. "Sorry." He doesn't sound sorry though, as he's grinning.

Mallory punches Raph hard in the chest, but it doesn't seem to affect him much. He puts her down, and she crosses her arms against her chest. "I was trying to investigate, jerk!"

"No." Don comes out of the shadows. "You were trying to get yourself killed. Do you know who's in there?"

Mallory purses her lips. "No...do you?"

Donnie rubs the back of his neck. "Well...no..."

"Then let's all find out together," she decides, grinning and beginning to climb again. Raph grabs her shoulder and spins her around.

"Not so fast, Red," he says, shaking his head. "We're gonna go investigate. The two of ya are gonna go back to the apartment and stay safe."

"Also..." Mikey says, rubbing the back of his neck. "Not to sound rude or anything but like...why are you guys dressed like that?" He pauses. "Like, you look good; it's just...like...why are you dressed like that?"

"Well, we were headed to a party..." Mallory says. "Halloween party. You know: the holiday?"

"Believe me, we know what Halloween is," Donnie says, shaking his head. "It's the only night Splinter will let us go out without having to worry too much about being seen."

"Are you out here for patrol?" I ask.

"We were. Until we heard something suspicious." Leo comes out of the shadows. He raises his eye ridges and looks at both me and Mallory, before smiling a teasing smile. "You guys really need to work on being quiet. Lexi, you're a spy so you don't have an excuse."

"Well," Mallory says, leaning against the wall. "It'd be six against however many foot members there are. I say our chances of victory are pretty high."

There is a ground-breaking boom that comes from the building again. Every one of us pauses, even Mikey, who has been swinging his nunchucks around confidently. We all stand there for a few moments, silently, until Mallory finally moves.

"I'm going in there," she says sternly. She shoots the turtles a glare. "And if any of you try to stop me, you're gonna be sorry." Even though we all know that if they wanted to, they could take Mallory down, and they don't try again.

Raph sighs. "Well, if yer gonna try ta break in again, why don't ya do it right?" He begins climbing the wall, and reaches the window that Mallory had gotten to when she had fallen. He slides it open, and pokes his head in, before jumping in completely. He hardly makes a sound.

Mallory moves forward again, but Donnie steps in front of her. "Before we hurl you through a whirling window of darkness and possibility, we gotta make sure Raph isn't currently being mauled." Mallory looks like she's gonna protest, but Mikey comes up and grins, swinging his nunchucks around.

"Sorry, Mal," he says grinning. The two of them one by one get through the window, and Mallory steps in front again before Leo can get to the wall.

"I'm going next," she says fiercely.

Leo holds up his hands in defense. "Be my guest. I'll be the caboose. Make sure nobody follows us in."

Once Mallory gets to the window, she hops in as well. I glance over at Leo and give him a helpless smile. "I really didn't want to get involved with anything tonight..."

"I know," he says, smiling a bit. "But trouble seems to be attracted to you, doesn't it?"

I laugh. "Something like that."

The inside of the building is darker than I thought. It was dark outside, but inside, the only light that dwelt was the light of the buildings and streetlights outside of the window we'd hopped through. From what I can see, many of the windows are sealed off with wood.

"I would do a head-count, but I can't really see any heads," Leo says. "Is everyone here?"

"Dudes, maybe this was a really bad idea," Mikey says, and I can hear the whoosh of his nunchucks. I hear a loud thump, and laugh a little when I imagine Mikey rubbing his head. "Ow..."

"We heard explosions," Mallory says. "Of course it was a bad idea. But you know what's an even worse idea? Ignoring it." I hear her shuffling through the darkness. "Put your hands on the walls and try to find a way into another room."

"If there's a bad decision, and a worse decision, don't look for a good decision, just choose the bad one," Don says. "Wise words of Mallory Kress."

"Shut up, brainy, and feel the wall," Mallory shoots. "All of you, just feel the wall and stop being children."

"Ya know, Redhead, you somehow seem a lot less angry in the dark," Raph snickers.

I place my hands on the wall and try to follow it. After a bit of doing this, I feel someone next to me. Hands brush against my own; they're large and obviously one of the turtles.

"Lexi?" Leo's calming voice fills my ears.

"Yeah," I say. "How'd you know it was me?"

"Well there are only two humans among us currently. Process of elimination."

"Oh, okay." I don't bother mentioning that it could've been Mallory. For some reason, it makes me happy to think that he knows my hands.

There's another loud crash, but this time, it sounds closer.

"I think I found a door!" Mikey says. "Should I open it?" But without waiting for anybody's consent, he opens it. Nobody has time to yell at or stop him. As the door opens, an immense ray of light pushes through.

"Agh!" Raph says. "What is that?"

I inch forward slowly, and Leo grabs onto my arm lightly. I glance over at him. He looks me directly and firmly in the eyes.

"Not letting you get kidnapped again," he says. I nod slowly, and hold on tightly to his hand. All of us proceed slowly. The closer I get, the less powerful the light seems, and more clearly I can see.

I find that this room that the door leads to isn't a room at all. It leads to the back of the building, which outside, had been blocked off by a gate in the alleyway. There are several large black vans parked, and just as expected, some Foot ninjas. They look like they paused right in the middle of transporting something. They've all frozen in place, staring at the same direction.

I look to see they're staring at Karai.

"If any of you dare to make the same mistake that they did, you'll end up just like them," she says. "Don't drop it." There's a particular darkness in her tone, one which I've rarely heard used by Karai.

We are all still a fair distance away from them, but Leo locates a dumpster to hide behind, and motions that we follow. We all stand there, practically breathless, straining our ears to hear what's going on.

"Those ones go in that van," Karai states. "Those are highly explosive. The easiest things to set off. They're staying here, and the van remains locked. The rest I'll be transporting to the Dark Angels Headquarters myself."

I take in a sharp breath. Leo and I both glance at each other. I bite my lip. I need to look and see what's going on. I have to know which van contains the highly explosive things because if it remains in the back of the building and something triggers it, it could kill lots of people.

I peek my head around the corner. I see foot ninjas loading the vans again, and Karai standing back and looking around. She's keeping an eye out for anyone who might be watching.

I hear a whooshing sound beside me, and look over to find that Mikey is swinging his nunchucks again. "Mikey," I hush. "Stop it. You're making too much noise."

"You're the one talking," Mikey whispers loudly. "I'm trying to listen and my nunchucks help me listen."

"Your nunchucks are gonna get us caught," Leo retorts. "Save it for later."

He continues swishing them around, defiantly looking at Leo. "I'm not doing anything wrong, Leo. I'm preparing to fight, just in case." Raph opens his mouth to say something, but just as he's beginning to, Mikey's nunchucks collide with Mallory's head.

Mallory lets out a yelp and then a growl.

"There are witnesses!" Karai says quickly. "Search!"

"Well, Mikey," Raph grumbles. "You were preparin' ta fight. Hope you're happy."

"We have to get out of here, Raph," Donnie says. "We can't fight them tonight. There's too many of them and they have explosives." He turns to me. "I'm sorry, Lexi." Then he shifts his look to Mallory. "And I'm sorry, Mallory. I know you girls want to get to the bottom of this, but we have to retreat. You guys saw how many of them there were. We can't take them tonight."

"Well we'd betta get outta here because I think they've found us!" Raph shouts, putting out his sais. Several foot ninjas jolt around the corner and spot us. They immediately lunge at us. They reach out to kick, but I jump out of the way and follow Leo towards the door. The turtles fight off the ones we run into along the way.

We sprint through the door, and Raph slams the door shut. He stands in front of it, digging his feet into the ground, trying to hold it back.

"Climb back up through the window!" He grunts. The Foot Ninjas bang on the door. "I'll hold them back."

Leo turns back and stands next to him, putting his weight on the door as well. Mikey hurries to the window and helps me and Mallory out. Donnie follows quickly after. I land on the hard cement and feel the gush of wind from earlier return, but this time, it doesn't make me cold. It kicks me out of the daze I'm in. Now, I'm shaking but it isn't because I'm cold. Everything happened so quickly, and the burst of fresh air is like pouring ice water on my face. I didn't realize how warm it was in there.

Almost immediately, the rest of the turtles hop through. I collapse on the ground, and slide down the wall, panting. I close my eyes, and try to steady my breathing. Even if it wasn't the Foot Clan who had kidnapped and tortured me, Karai reminded me a lot of Melinda tonight. And that's what brings back the trauma.

"Lexi..." Mallory says, getting down next to me. "Lexi, it's okay. We're safe. I'm sorry for making you go in there." It isn't until she says that, that I realize I'm crying. I'm crying and I'm shaking.

I try to speak, but I can't. My heart feels like it's racing a hundred beats at once, and I can't focus on one place. So I close my eyes, sit back and try to breathe.

"We need to find out what's going on," Donnie says, quietly. "Because now we really do know that something is going on. And whatever it is, it's highly explosive."

"Why would the foot clan need explosives?" Mikey asks. He doesn't swing his nunchucks around carelessly anymore.

"Ever since Karai got involved with the Dark Angels, I've had a really bad feeling." Leo's forehead scrunches. "And explosives aren't exactly the best sign."

"The Foot Clan and the Dark Angels are planning something," I say quietly. "It's something big. And we just happened to get a little sneak peek of it tonight." Leo holds out his hand to pull me up. I take it, but when I stand, I don't let go.

Another explosion comes from the building, and we all flinch.

But we do nothing.


	25. To Be Grateful

Thanksgiving dinner is always something to be thankful for.

And the people who eat it should be grateful for the one making it. Because it's a lot of work.

Mom and I have propped the door to the kitchen open, and are whisking away. In the past, it's been filled with laughter, warmth and Benjamin barging in, asking when dinner would be ready. This year, all of that will happen except Benjamin. There's a little hole in the atmosphere, with him missing. I never thought I would wish to have him bothering me about the wishbone of the turkey.

Mom has been more of herself lately. She hasn't been as harsh or strict. But there are still moments where the strangest things will make her nervous or start to cry. Sometimes when we're in the lair, and Dad is talking about how he regrets so much, or whenever anyone brings up the Epidemic that happened so many months ago...those things just seem to send something cold down her spine. And sometimes, like times like now, there's something distant in her eyes. She's always thinking hard about something, and although I don't know what it is, I have a feeling it's the same thing.

"Why did Rose go to the lair? Just to hang out?" I ask, tilting my head. Rose doesn't go to the lair very often, unless she's with me or Noah.

Mom pauses for a split second, and then continues chopping the fruit. She dumps the fruit into a bowl, and then rests her hands on the glass, cupping the bowl gently. She bites her lip, and then glances up at me for a moment.

"She went to get your father," she says, then looks away. "He's coming for Thanksgiving dinner."

"He is?"

"Yes." She pauses. "She asked me the other day, and I..." She tightens her grip on the bowl. "I think it's okay. He's...he's provided us with lots of information that's been helpful and he's still..." She stops, and stares into the bowl.

"He's still part of the family," I finish, drawing a half-smile.

She looks up at me again. "Yes," she says quietly. "He's still part of the family."

Neither of us moves for a few moments, and it isn't an awkward pause. It's like pausing time; just pausing time to think for a little bit. The only reason either of us moves is because the timer on the turkey goes off. I move towards the oven to take it out, but Mom pushes forward first.

"You go ahead and bring the salad and fruit to the table," she says. She smiles a small smile. "Remember what happened last time you tried to remove the turkey from the oven?"

I scoff. "That was three years ago!"

"And you've still got the scar to prove it."

"There weren't any oven mitts!"

"Paper towels weren't a very good substitute, sweetie."

"I was fifteen! Give me a break!" I carry the bowls out into the front room, and onto the table. Since we've had the kitchen door propped open while cooking, the heavenly smell of Thanksgiving has sifted throughout the apartment.

As I'm setting the bowl onto the table, the front door opens, and in walks Dad and Rose. Rose is bundled up in her pink coat and hat, but both of their noses are red from the cold. Seeing it's almost December, it's been getting colder and colder. The beautiful rustic colors of leaves are transforming to dead ones, and snow is becoming more common on the weather channel.

"It's ready," Mom says, coming out of the kitchen. She's carrying the giant plate of turkey.

Dad reaches out to help her, but she's already shaking her head and setting it on the table. He awkwardly hops back into place, and rubs the back of his neck.

"I've been doing this for the last seven years, Jaxon," she says. It comes off as a little cold, so she tries to fix it. "Besides, it builds upper arm strength." The joke softens her tone in the first response.

"Lexi needs upper arm strength," Rose says.

"I have plenty of upper arm strength!"

"You complain every single time you have to lift a box at April's store," Dad says, suppressing a smile. "You could work on that."

"Well sorry, Mr-I-Like-To-Break-Antiques!"

"I didn't know they were antiques!"

"Dad, April's whole store is antique," Rose laughs, shaking her head.

"Then why does she keep telling me that they're antiques?"

"Because you keep forgetting," I say, turning around and taking a seat at the table. Rose and Mom both take seats too, and Dad is left standing. He hesitates. When we all look at him with expectation, he joins us.

Mom says a blessing on the food, and then we all dig in. Conversation is halted for a bit. I'm not sure if it's because we are all eating, or because nobody knows what to say. But the silence seems to drag on longer than it should, so I'm glad that Rose finds something to speak about.

"Lexi, you took literally all the salt. You're going to have a heart attack." It's criticism, but I'll take it.

We laugh together. Something we haven't done in a long, long time. The tension was strong at the beginning and now almost feels like it was never there. I don't quite understand how such tension could die down like that, but I'm glad it did. I feel complete. And I feel happy. The warmth coming from the food and the house is nothing compared to the warmth radiating from my heart, and from each of the faces of my family members.

We reminisce and tell stories from when we were young. Mom talks about the way Rose was always afraid of everything, and how I always thought that I knew everything there was to know (and according to Rose, I still do). Dad tells the story of the time that I accidentally dropped Benjamin into the skunk exhibit at the zoo (he sure loves to tell that one). It seems that we'll never run out of stories and we'll never run out of breath to tell them.

And I haven't felt a love this strong in a long time. It doesn't feel uncomfortably tight—it feels like it encompasses the entire table. It feels like something is tugging at each of us, bringing us closer to one another.

And for some reason, I have a feeling Benj has something to do with it.

 **Leo's POV:**

The toast makes me jump a little when it pops out of the toaster, but I try to mask it, and casually pick it out, and set it onto my plate.

"Wow, Leo," Mikey says, laughing. "You can fight Foot ninjas, no biggie, but it's the toaster you gotta look out for."

I roll my eyes and pull out the butter. I don't really have anything to say to that, so I just make a face, and butter my toast.

"Mikey," Raph calls out, throwing his door open. "How many times have I told ya to turn the tv down? I'm trying ta sleep."

"Raph, you're _always_ sleeping!" Mikey complains, collapsing onto the couch, and throwing his arms up in exaggeration. "Spend time with us for once!"

"There ain't nothing to do down there with you guys," Raph says, waving his hand in dismissal, and starting towards his room again.

"Hey," Donnie looks up from the television, and grins. "I think we should all congratulate Leo on not burning his toast this time."

I set the butter knife down slowly and shoot him a glare.

Mikey laughs and looks over at me. "Hey, man, way to go! That's one less thing Donnie will have to fix!"

"Congrats, Fearless." Raph laughs. "Now if ya could only ask Lexa out again."

I pick up the butter knife and point it directly at him.

Raph snickers. "What'cha gonna do with a butter knife?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong," I say slowly. "But we recently ran into some Purple Dragons who were quite skilled in the art of throwing butter knives. You've still got the battle scars to prove it."

Mikey's face drops. "I wanted to keep my battle scars! But Donnie wouldn't let me."

"Great idea, Mikey." Don picks up the bowl, originally filled with popcorn, that now contains just remnants of popcorn and butter. "Let's all get infections because we didn't clean our wounds. Listen, if that's the route you wanna go down, Doctor Donnie will have no pity towards you when he has to amputate your arm."

"Can I have a peg-leg?" Mikey asks with excitement.

"For your arm?"

"Yeah! Like, a peg-arm!" Mikey takes a sip of his soda. "I wanna fight crime with a wooden stick."

"Donnie already does that and look how it turns out for him," I retort.

"C'mon, this isn't Diss Donnie Day. We were making fun of _you_ ," Donnie reminds me, crossing his arms.

"And I'm oldest, therefore, I start and finish when I'm being made fun of."

"Is that what you tell yourself?" Raph says, raising his eye ridges. "Does that make ya feel better?"

"When _are_ you gonna ask Lexi out again?" Mikey asks, tilting his head. "I mean, if you're gonna do it, you'd better do it soon. She's gonna be swooped up real fast."

I shake my head to myself. "I know..." I close my eyes. "I know, guys. I just don't want her to feel pressure. She's got a lot going on right now. She just got her dad back, she's trying to crack the case on Karai, and she's been working at April's. She doesn't have a lot of time as it is; I doubt she'd want to carry the burden of a relationship on her shoulders."

"But Leo," Mikey drags. "You're _in love_. You're _supposed_ to take risks. I don't know personally all that mushy stuff, but I know that if you don't at least let her know that you want her again, she's gonna be taken real fast."

"Who wouldda thought that Fearless would be most afraid of a girl?" Raph says, leaning against the railing.

"And the toaster," Mikey adds, grinning. "He's afraid of that too."

"What would I say?" I ask.

"I dunno..." Mikey says sheepishly. "I guess I don't really know what you should say."

"You guys are the worst at relationship advice," I say, shaking my head.

"Look," Raph says. "Just get her a flower or something. Let her know you're still interested, or else she might look somewhere else. Ya don't have to ask her to commit to anything: just let 'er know you still like 'er."

"That's...actually good advice. Thanks...thanks, Raph." I pause, and then look at my brothers. "I think...I think I'm gonna go do that."

"Where are you gonna find a flower?" Donnie asks, as I head towards the door.

I wave my hand. "I'll find something."

"Okay, don't go robbin' a flower shop or anything," Raph says. He yawns. "I'm goin' back to bed."

The air is bitter, as it's getting closer to wintertime each day. It's only eight so there are still people rushing busily through the night. There are signs all over the city about Black Friday sales. Taxis drive quickly and stop for almost no one. The traffic lights are almost blinding in the dark night. Just like every night in the city.

I have to move swiftly and in the shadows, more than if it were later at night. On the way to the apartment complex, I begin a conscious effort to look for flowers for Lexi. Since the weather hasn't exactly been the best for growing flowers, all I can find are bushes and dead trees. I find myself looking harder than I probably should be, and I'm very tempted to go to the flower shop that's tempting me across the street.

Only two problems: I don't have any money, and I'm a giant green turtle. Both obstacles seem equally road-blocking.

Seeing that it's getting late, I decide to settle on a really pretty leaf that I find on a bush, and decide that she can use her imagination. As I'm closing in on the apartment complex, I realize that I should write a note too. I scavenge through my sheath of my katana—which is where I sometimes put old receipts—and just by mere luck, find one from pizza last night.

When I reach the apartment, I look into the living room through the only partially open window. I see Rose, Lexi, Emmeline and Lexi's dad, all sitting together. Rose and Lexi are sitting on the ground, laughing and Emmeline is sitting in a chair next to them. Lexi's dad looks like he's telling a story.

It's the happiest I've seen them all at once in a long, long time. I don't know how this happened—Emmeline's transformation from not wanting anything to do with Jaxon, to being willing to have him back for Thanksgiving dinner—but I'm glad it happened. I've never seen Lexi smile so brightly.

And I don't want to ruin it.

I find myself instead, by Lexi's bedroom. I look around and make sure nobody is following me, before I press my hand to the hand-scanner on her window. When it unlocks, I try to be quiet as I hop into her bedroom. I close the window immediately.

"Breaking into her bedroom..." I whisper to myself. "Not the creepiest thing you've ever done." I turn on the light, and look at the offerings in my hand. The leaf was much prettier in the dark, and the receipt is really crinkled and has a remnant of a pizza sauce stain on it.

I decide I don't really have any other choice, and as sad as this all looks, it's the effort that counts.

I quickly jot some words onto the receipt using a pen on her desk, and awkwardly set the leaf and the receipt onto her bed. I rub the back of my neck awkwardly.

"I'm _really_ bad at being romantic..."

 **LEXI'S POV:**

Rose walks Dad back to the lair, and I sit in the living room with Mom. The dishes were cleaned hours ago, and we've all just been talking and sitting together.

"That was...really nice. Thank you for letting Dad come over," I say softly.

She smiles a small smile, but doesn't say anything. I think we can both feel his absence. It was nice to have him for a bit.

There's silence for a little bit, and then she turns to me. "Lexi...you know that everything I ever did...it's all for you. I've made mistakes before..."

"We all have, Mom. Nobody is perfect."

"Yes but..." She doesn't finish. She just looks down at her hands.

I wait for her to say more but she doesn't. So I do. "Yes, Mom, of course I know that. You care about us each a lot."

"I would never intentionally put any of you in danger. Just sometimes...things..." I've never seen my mom struggle so much with her words. She finally just shakes her head. "Nevermind." I'm curious, but before I can say anything, she does. "You should get some sleep. I'm sure all that socializing made you tired."

"Yeah, I don't socialize very often."

"You should do that more. Maybe get on one of those dating websites."

I laugh. "Great idea. I've already got enough stalkers—I don't need more."

It isn't until I get into my bed to go to sleep that I notice something I didn't notice before. On my bed, there's a large leaf and a receipt. Curious, I pick up the leaf and look around it. It doesn't look like anything special. Then, I turn to the receipt and see that there's writing on the back.

 _Lexi,_

 _Please imagine the leaf as a rose because that was the intention. But Raph advised me to not rob any flower shops tonight, so here's what you ended up with. I'm sorry this is so lame and really, really weird and I'm sorry for breaking into your room but I just want to tell you that_

He wrote something, but scratched it out. It looked like he continued to scribble out things, and I laugh just imagining him getting frustrated with himself over not writing the right things. Finally, at the bottom of the receipt, he finishes.

 _Okay as you can tell I'm really indecisive on what to say. This was kind of an impulsive decision. But what I want to tell you is that I love you, Lexi. And if you don't want to ever get back with me, I understand. I just wanted to tell you. I love you. A lot. And I'm sorry I only have a leaf and a pizza receipt to show it._

 _All my love,_

 _Leo_

 **A/N: Hey guys(: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it probably seems weird that the King family is inviting Jaxon back right away but it's just a weird time for everyone and I think Emmeline is really trying to accept the way that things are. After hearing Jaxon's side of the story, she's able to kind of have more of a reason to forgive him. It doesn't mean his actions were right but it's an explanation.**

 **Let me just say I LOVE Leo's little gift for Lexi. It's so cute because it's so lame, it's a leaf bc he couldn't find a flower, and he wrote a note on a receipt, like wow me too, Leo.**

 **We love a classy turtle(:**


	26. To Lose

"Warmth!" I cry out, as I collapse onto the couch. I snuggle up into the worn-out piece of furniture in the lair. For a couch that's easily twenty years old, it's really comfortable. I close my eyes and bury my face into the pillow.

A laugh dances above my head. "C'mon, Lexi, it can't be _that_ cold outside."

I immediately recognize it as Leo, and I turn to face him, without opening my eyes. I hold out my arms. "Hug. Warmth. Please." He laughs, but comes closer and takes me in his arms. I snuggle into his chest. He brings me closer and I feel immediately warmed. He gently strokes my back, and I feel like I could fall asleep just like that.

"Righttt," Raph says. "Not dating..."

"Was I supposed to deny her a hug?" Leo asks.

"Well sorry to poop on your party," Mikey says. "But we're goin' training topside, and little boy blue is leading us." Hearing that, I pull Leo closer, and he laughs.

"We'll be back soon," he promises. "Just gonna go out for an hour at the most. We'll be back before you know it."

"Yeah," Dad says. "C'mon, talk with Splinter and me. We aren't that bad. Old people have wisdom."

"Hey, yeah." I sit up. "Splinter, maybe you could tell some more stories from your childhood!"

Splinter smiles at that. "I would love to, Alexandra."

Leo stands up and ruffles my hair. "We'll be back soon."

"Be safe! Try not to get anymore battle scars!"

 **LEO'S POV:**

"Ya know, you'd think that with Karai and the Dark Angels busting so many butts, there'd be more action out here," Mikey says. He's dangling from a ladder to a water tower up on the rooftop we're on. "But this place is a ghost town. Besides, ya know, the eight million other people out here."

"It's definitely out of character." I cross my arms and survey the city.

"You guys think Karai knows we're onto her?" Donnie asks, twirling his bo-staff.

"I don't know how she could," I respond. "We haven't really talked about it to anyone besides the Kings and the Headquarters."

"Still." Mikey swings up and down on the latter. "She's a ninja. Her job is to get in people's business without them knowing she's getting into their business. It's what we do too." Mikey swings upwards too hard, and goes flying. He hits the roof hard, and we all cringe.

"Ya know," Raph says. "I say we're overestimating her. She ain't as dangerous as we all keep sayin' she is. We've been fighting Karai for how many years now? I think she's all about the title more than anything. She's just a girl."

"Mallory's just a girl, and she could kick your butt in an instant," Mikey says, laughing. He stands up, and rubs his head. "What if Karai has some secret moves we've never seen before?" He chops the air in front of him and spins around. "Ya think she'd teach them to us?"

"Yeah," Don scoffs. "Right before she breaks open our skulls."

"I say we're focusing on Karai too much," Raph says. "What about the Dark Angels? They're the real threat here, and it seems like nobody cares anymore!"

"We care, Raph," I say. I turn to Raph and find that he's gripping the edge of the roof, not because he's afraid, but because he's angry. "Listen, the Dark Angels are really hard to track. It's a miracle that we have someone like Karai to go off of. She could lead us to the Dark Angels."

"So what do we do next time Karai is out?" Raph asks. "We gotta fight them."

"No we don't," I say firmly. "We won't be fighting them any time soon."

"What are ya talking about?" Raph's forehead crinkles and he stands up in an instant. "Are ya telling me we're just gonna sit here and eat popcorn and blueberries next time we see the Foot attacking?"

"I'm _telling_ you that we don't know everything that's going on and it's a really bad idea to underestimate anyone, including Karai."

"Ya've really downgraded us, Leo," Raph says bitterly. "We could take down those Foot ninjas in an instant. We always have!" He rolls his eyes and mutters. "Very noble of you to try to tell us to lay low and not get involved with crime when just _you_ were the one risking our family's safety for two little kids!"

I set my jaw, and I can see Mikey tense up, and draw in a breath. After that night when I got badly scolded by Splinter and my angry brothers, we all decided to never speak of that incident. Not only is Raph bringing it up, but he's using it against me.

"Raph, we know more now." I've clenched my fists and am fighting everything in me to not lash out. "But there are still things we don't know."

"There are always things we don't know!" Raph exclaims. "Only you always seem to think that you know everything, don't ya?"

I grit my teeth and don't respond.

"But Raph, what if Karai has taught the Foot some of her secret moves? Or what if the Dark Angels have taught Karai their secret moves?" Mikey inquires. "And then maybe...maybe Karai taught the foot ninjas the secret moves that the Dark Angels taught her?"

"We ain't as weak as ya think, Mikey," Raph says bitterly. "We could take them down in an instant."

"Are you out of you _mind_?" I can't keep my cool anymore. "Karai is getting more and more dangerous the more time she spends with Melinda. So what, we've been able to beat Karai in the past. But she's not that same Karai. She's been killing people. It isn't four turtles up against a clan of people with the same skills as us anymore. It's four turtles up against a clan of killers working with another clan of killers. What about that don't you get?"

"Guys—" Donnie says, but Raph is boiling.

"What about this do _you_ not get? I ain't listening to this crap any longer. You wanna keep hiding behind your little wall of fear that you pretend you don't have? Go ahead. See if I care." He gets close to me, and shoves me hard. "But I'm gonna actually do something about all this crap. I ain't scared, unlike you. Lay low?" He laughs bitterly and shakes his head. "Give me a break...that's all you ever do, Leo. Lay low until it's too late."

I open my mouth to respond, but I don't know what to say. Even if I wanted to speak, Raph runs off before I can. I watch him as his legs carry him across the rooftop. The rain makes it difficult for me to see him very clearly. I let out a breath, and close my eyes.

"Uh...Leo..." Mikey says slowly. I feel my brother latch onto my arm beside me.

"What, Mikey?"

"You said not to look for or get involved with any trouble tonight." He pauses. "What if the trouble finds us?"

He isn't looking at me; he's looking forward. But before I can follow his gaze to see where he's looking, my eyes widen at the sight behind him. Just feet away from my younger brother are several bodies, their faces decorated with scars.

Dark Angels.

"Mikey, look out!" I scream, shoving him out of the way. My brother goes flying, and hits the ground hard, skidding across the rooftop because the rain has made it slick.

"Leo!" I hear Donnie shout, and I feel something swipe over my head. Donnie hits a Dark Angel with his bo-staff. But the Dark Angel immediately removes it from his hands, and snaps it right in half.

Donnie's eyes widen, and he slowly backs away. His eyes scan the area for something to use as defense, but several Dark Angels come up from behind him. One of them kicks him forward, and he crashes to the ground. He groans and is kicked in the head, knocking him out.

I whirl around, towards the direction Raph had gone running. He's still running, but it looks like he's slowed down. With a strength and volume I've never before had any reason to use, I scream my brother's name.

"Raph!" I feel every part of me rumble as I scream his name, and I realize that my voice sounds broken and afraid. Immediately, Raph halts and turns around. I can't see his facial expression very well, but the next thing I see is absolutely unmistakable.

I've never seen Raph sprint so fast in my life. His feet seem to glide off the ground, and he nears us, but he's still very far.

"Leo!" The broken voice of my youngest brother tears my heart right out of my chest. "Leo! Please help!" I whirl around and make a dash towards Mikey, who is being cornered by Dark Angels. I watch in horror as a knife is shoved directly into Mikey's stomach.

A sound escapes his throat that I've never heard come from any creature before, but it has to be the universal sound for agony. I feel tears spring from my eyes, and I scream, pushing forwards towards him. I'm thrown back, and find that Sullivan himself is gripping me. He throws me at the ground, and someone kicks my face into the cement. I look up the slightest bit and see Karai and a number of Foot ninjas slowly approaching.

Karai has a smile on her face. She has something in her hand, and when she throws it in Raph's direction, it makes an incredibly loud noise, and seems to shake the ground.

The last thing I hear are Mikey's sobs and Raph's screams.

 **LEXI'S POV:**

"They've been gone for a long time," I say, slowly. "Master Splinter, are they usually gone for this long?"

Splinter's eyebrows scrunch together and he sits there for a few moments. After a while, he shakes his head and looks over at me. "No, Alexandra. They should be back by now. I hope nothing has gone wrong."

"Me too." I pause. "I had some important stuff to tell them. I didn't expect them to be leaving for training though, so I decided I'd tell them afterwards."

Splinter looks curious. "What does it pertain to?"

I take in a breath. "We've found out a few things about the Dark Angels and Karai. We've discovered what they've been planning."

"Does it have anything to do with those explosives you found them with recently?" Dad asks, leaning forward.

Master Splinter takes the remote and shuts off the television. He then turns his full attention towards me.

"Well," I begin. "We don't know everything. So we don't know how the explosives are involved but we do know this: Karai and Melinda have been planning a kidnapping. We don't know of whom, but we know that they're definitely planning on kidnapping someone."

"How do you figure this?" Splinter asks, tilting his head.

"We've been watching Karai for a while, as you guys know. She's been careful not to let on any trails to the Dark Angel Headquarters, but we've overheard a few conversations she'd had. We've sent spies to track her. She's spoken a few times about an abduction, and a few things that hint that she's planning something."

"But you don't know who she's planning on—"

The doors to the lair open. Nobody enters for a few moments. Then walks in a red-clad turtle. Slowly. He's moving so incredibly slowly; more so than I've ever seen him move before. He's still lingering in the shadows, and he's holding something.

"My son..." Splinter says slowly. "What troubles you? And where are your brothers?"

He hesitates. And when he finally comes forward, I notice two things.

One, he's holding Donnie's broken bo-staff. And two, his eyes are bloodshot and face tear-stained.

He comes in alone.

"I..." He stops there, and doesn't finish. Well, doesn't finish with words, at least. Tears begin spilling from his eyes, and his cheeks are soaked within moments.

Master Splinter has risen from his chair, and is immediately by Raph's side. I forget that he's a ninja too.

"Raphael," he says evenly. "Come sit, my son, and tell me what has happened." His voice sounds gentle and kind. It isn't all that often we see Raph like this. I think the only other time I've seen Raph cry was a bit at Benj's funeral.

They near the couch, and as Raph's shaking gets stronger, he collapses onto his knees. He breaks out into a sob.

"Master Splinter..." he cries. "I'm so sorry. I got angry. I got really angry. Leo was tryin' ta tell me what ta do and I shoulda listened to him. He's always right." Raph lets out another sob. "He's always right and I always make fun of 'im for it but he was only tryin' ta protect us. He told us not ta get involved with anything tonight, because we didn't know enough about the Dark Angels and Karai and I just..." Raph squeezes his eyes shut tightly and punches the couch. "I said some things. I said some things I didn't mean."

We all wait for him to finish, as he sniffles and tries to compose himself. But as soon as he opens his mouth to continue, he breaks out into another sob. It breaks my heart to see Raph this way, and it scares me because I know that something really bad has happened. The scariest part is that I don't know what.

"Master Splinter...the Dark Angels took 'em. All of them. My brothers." He sobs and bangs his head against the wall. "I was running away, and I heard fighting from behind me. I didn't turn back because I'm an idiot. It didn't...I didn't process it until I heard Leo scream for me."

Raph looks up and Splinter. "Father...it was the Dark Angels and the Foot. They were workin' together. They broke Donnie's staff." He sets it down in front of Splinter, whose gaze lingers on it for a few moments, before he looks back up at the red-clad turtle. "I didn't see what they did to 'im. But they stabbed Mikey...right in the gut. They knocked out Leo—pushed 'im down, and cracked his head on the rooftop." He takes in a breath, and shakes his head. "Those explosives...those explosives that Karai was messin' with the other day...I found out tonight what they were usin' 'em for."

He pauses again and wipes his face. "They were usin' 'em to cover their tracks. They bombed the place. Karai threw one. I tried to jump out of the way, but it got near me. The entire roof caved in, Master Splinter." He swallows. "I thought I was gonna die in the rubble, but I made it out. Think I broke somethin' but that don't matter." He lets out one last cry. "That don't matter because my brothers are gone. And it ain't nobody's fault but mine."

Silence fills the room, with no other sounds besides Raph's sniffles and Splinter's steady breathing.

The phone rings, but nobody goes to answer it. Splinter's eyes are closed, and it's obvious that he's focusing hard on his breathing.

"Hey guys, I'm watching the news and I saw something about an abandoned building that caved in tonight. Explosives...and a lot of them. It's on the news right now, and I'm just calling to see if you guys are okay." April is leaving a voicemail. "I really hope you guys are okay..."

Dad has the remote and immediately switches the news on.

"—luckily, nobody was hurt and there was not much inside the building. Firefighters are currently digging through the rubble to make sure that nobody was affected, but police are investigating the causes or owner of these explosives. There are said to have been several trucks full of bombs directly behind the building, though no one knows why or to whom they belong. More information will be reported when discovered."

It cuts to another story, and Dad shuts off the television again. We are left in silence once more. Raph's breathing has steadied, but his tears remain on his face for the most part. He looks like he's afraid that if he says anything else, he'll break down again.

Splinter comes closer to him and wipes the rest of his tears from his Raph's face.

"My son," he says slowly. "You let your anger get the best of you, it's true. But it may have saved you this time."

"But what does that matter if it didn't save my brothers? What if that's the last time I'll ever see them?"

"It will not be," Splinter says firmly. "My son, we will get back what is rightfully ours. Your brothers will return, for we will not stop searching until they are found. We are a family. We fight for one another because we love one another." He pauses and looks directly at Raph. "And Raphael, I still love you. Go, my son, and rest. For in the morning, we will begin our journey to retrieve tthe missing pieces of our family."

Raph hesitates, but he stands up and nods. He wipes his face once more and heads towards his bedroom.

"If Raph hadn't gotten angry like that, he would've been taken too," I say. "I'm not saying anger is ever good, but you're right, Splinter: this time it saved him. And it gives us a lead on what has happened to them."

"It does," Splinter says slowly. "But Raphael will blame himself for quite some time."

"Lexi, I don't think you should go home tonight," Dad says. "Even if the Dark Angels and Foot clan took the turtles, I'm afraid for you. I don't want them to get you too."

I don't object.

"Alexandra, you may sleep wherever you please," Splinter says gently. "I'm going to phone April and let her know what has happened."

My feet wander the halls of the Hamato residence, and they take me to Leo's room. When I walk into Leo's room, it's very chilly. The turtles don't really get cold, so I'm not surprised when Leo's bed only has a thin blanket. My eyes shift to a pile of big blankets in the corner of his room. He keeps them there because whenever I come over for a movie night, I get really cold, so the turtles have learned to keep blankets here.

I wrap myself in Leo's blanket first, because it preserves his scent, which is a very earthly smell—a mixture of herbs. Something you might smell in a garden, but mildly. I then pile the other blankets on top of me. My head sinks into his pillow, since it's not meant for a human head, but I'm okay with that.

I don't fall asleep right away. Even with all these blankets, I'm still incredibly cold. I'm shivering and can't send my mind to sleep. My brain replays Raph's descriptions of Mikey getting stabbed, and Leo's head cracking against the cement. I think about what the argument between Raph and Leo must've been like. The scenes in my mind are running so quickly, and I can't seem to fathom it all.

Tears pour out my eyes, and I squeeze them tighter, hoping that all the images depart. But they remain. I try everything I can to imagine happier things, but I'm shaking. I'm scared. I know Master Splinter said that we'd find the guys and that they'd be okay, but I can't know that for sure. None of us can.

It makes me sick to my stomach to imagine someone stabbing happy-go-lucky Mikey in the stomach. It hurts me to think of someone snapping Donnie's staff in half, and then knocking him out. I can't imagine the guilt Raph feels for getting so angry.

And it breaks my heart to think of what Leo might have to endure, along with what he'll have to watch his brothers endure.

I think of the pain I felt when I was being held captive by the Dark Angels. The torture. The hurt. The numbness that eventually came and the trauma which still resides. I think of the broken bones, broken faces and broken hopes that will come to pass. I think of how Leo's younger brothers will have to watch as the person who they've always seen as strong, will be beaten to a pulp and I think of the screams Leo will let out while he has to watch his own brothers tortured.

So I cry and cry and cry, and don't try to stop it. But I do try to think of better things.

I imagine Leo's arms around me, and I imagine him being alright. I imagine that when we go rescue the turtles, we'll go away from all danger and from all hurt and all sorrow. We'll go to a place to escape and we'll be away from the danger for a while.

I drift off to sleep with the image of laughing and Mikey catapulting into the lake on a bright summer day.

 **A/N: This is definitely a darker chapter with a certainly darker ending. Gave me TMNT 2007 movie vibes, like when Leo and Raph got into that big fight and Leo was taken. I thought about only having Leo be taken but there is a reason why the Dark Angels want more than just him, and you guys will see in due time. Lexi isn't the only one that the Dark Angels have had their eyes on.**


	27. Brothers

**LEO'S POV:**

I wake up cold. My eyes remain closed, but my ears are open. I can feel I'm in a place that I don't recognize, but I'm afraid to open my eyes. It's when I remember all that happened on the rooftop that I find the ability to emerge from my state of fear.

Even with my eyes wide open, I can't see a thing. I never thought a darkness like this was possible, but it is. I try to move but find that I'm tied against something. I can feel myself fall into panic mode when I realize that I can't hear a single thing. I squeeze my eyes shut, and then open them again, but find that the room is just as dark as before.

"Mikey?" I whisper. "Donnie?" No response. I try again, but to no avail. I feel my panic start to increase when I realize I can't hear anybody's breathing besides my own. My brothers aren't in the room with me, and that scares me beyond everything because that means I have no idea where they are or what is happening to them.

An intense light is cast through an opening in the wall, and I have to shut my eyes tightly because of the abruptness of it.

"Rise and shine, little boy blue," a voice says teasingly. I know it's a female voice, and I recognize it, but barely.

My eyes remain closed, but for a different reason now. I don't want to see her, whoever it is.

"Silent treatment, hey? That's okay. I'll propose my little...offer once we get everything settled. Let your eyes adjust a bit, right?"

"Your offer has been declined."

"I haven't offered it yet."

"And it's already declined." I groan at the pain in my head. "Feels good, doesn't it?"

"Not exactly the nicest way to treat your future leader," she says, laughing bitterly. "I highly encourage you rethink your attitude."

I scoff. "Future leader. You're insane." I finally open my eyes and find that Melinda Crespo, leader of the Dark Angels is in front of me. I should've guessed.

"Well you'd certainly better think about it if you want those boo-boos on your head patched up." She pauses and leans close. Her dark hair slides over her shoulders and her dark eyes seep into my own. "They look...critical."

"I don't need any help from you. If it's join you or leave the injuries, then the boo-boos remain," I say bitterly. "I'll never join you, Melinda. You or Karai."

"Now who said Karai was any part of this?" she asks, tilting her head.

"She was there. Threw a bomb. I'm not blind." I silently wheeze at the ever increasing pain in my head.

"So it appears." She pauses. "Let's discuss this further."

"There's nothing to discuss. I said no, Melinda."

"You have skill. You could easily become one of the Dark Angel leaders. Not to mention, your ever-growing connections with the King family."

"You're wasting your breath."

"And you're wasting yours."

When she says that, I stop responding. She straightens her pose and narrows her eyes at me.

"Well, you can think about that. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go check on your little look-alikes. They're undergoing...similar circumstances." She grins when my head bobs up at the mention of my brothers. She knows that they're my weakness. Somehow, she knows. She knows way too much.

"What are you doing do them?"

She looks at me innocently. "Well nothing. Nothing yet, at least. As I said...similar circumstances." She heads towards the door, and pauses. She casts her eyes back at me once. "You turtles all better cooperate. Or you're going to get a little taste of what your girlfriend got."

The door slams hard.

 **DON'S POV:**

I hardly get migraines, but when I do, it feels like the end of the world.

I wake up to a cold presence, and moments later, a door flies open, and a light turned on. In front of me, I see Melinda Crespo, leader of the Dark Angels. Her forehead is creased at first but then it softens when she looks at me. I try to hold my head up high and not let her heavy stare get to me.

"Hello, Donatello. How'd you sleep?"

I don't respond.

She groans. "Don't tell me you're going to give me the silent treatment too. Is that a family thing?"

Through that, I know she's seen one of my brothers. Leo or Mikey.

"What do you want, Melinda?" I groan.

"I want to talk." She pauses. "You're very smart, you know."

"Butter it all up, Melinda," I say bitterly. "You aren't getting anything out of me."

"Oh really," she says. "What if I told you that you could find a place that cares for and values your intelligence? A place where you can use it to your fullest abilities?"

"I already do that."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. And a wonderful part of it means that I don't have to work for an insane killer, like you."

"Why did you jump to that conclusion?"

"It was implied."

"Ah," she says. "See, you are a smart one."

"Didn't say I wasn't."

"Which is why you and I would both benefit a great deal if you'd join us. Donatello, think of all the things—"

"Thanks for the offer, but not interested."

She pauses and sets her jaw. "You too, huh?" She sighs. "Tsk tsk...this is going to be fun. Two torture victims practically volunteered already. One more to go."

"What are you talking about?" I ask sharply.

I don't miss the smirk on her face as she turns partially towards me. "I'll say hi to your orange friend for you." Without another word, she leaves me alone in the darkness with nothing yet everything to analyze.

 **MIKEY'S POV:**

"Dude..." I mutter, shaking my head. I try to pull my hands down to my stomach, which is erupting with pain, but I find that my arms are chained up. "Are you kidding me?"

A light enters the dark room, and I turn my face away from it by instinct. A woman with dark hair walks in. At first, I think it's Karai but then I realize it's not. It's the leader of the Dark Angels.

"Aw crap..." I say, breathing in. "I know you..."

"You do?" Her voice sounds friendly. "Well we haven't even done formal introductions yet. I'd be glad to meet my new friend."

I raise an eye ridge at her. "Do you usually chain your new friends to walls?"

She laughs. "It's a new thing I'm trying. It means they can't run away." Her light-hearted attitude and voice are polar opposites from what I've always been taught about her. I know she's a cold-blooded killer, and it takes everything there is in me not to be fooled.

"How's that workin' out for you?" I ask slowly.

"Not so well, actually. Hoping it works better with you."

"Well you've kind of already given off a bad impression," I say. "Sorry."

She looks at the ground for a few moments, and then looks back up at me. "Michelangelo, do you feel like you're appreciated?"

"What?"

"Appreciated. Do you feel like people see who you really are?"

"I mean...sometimes I feel—" I pause and narrow my eyes at her. "Wait...I don't trust you. I'm not telling you anything."

"It's a simple question, my friend."

"I'm not your friend."

"I thought we established my new method of making friends."

"I'm turned off by it and you're freaky," I say. "No offense."

"Michelangelo..." she begins. "I want you to know that I appreciate you."

"So much that you've chained me to a wall."

"It's _because_ I appreciate you that I chained you to a wall. I know that you can do incredible things, and I know that many people fail to see that. They fail to see your true potential. But I see it. I do." Her voice sounds so convincing. I haven't heard anyone tell me those things before, except maybe Lexi.

Lexi. I can't do this. I can't fall for Melinda's trap. And I have to do this for Lexi.

"No."

"No?"

"No," I say. "I'm not falling for your tricks, Melinda. I may be an idiot sometimes, but I'm not an idiot all the time."

"Michelangelo," she says calmly. "You're not an idiot at all. That's my point."

"If you're gonna ask me to join you, the answer is no."

"Now why would you jump to a conclusion like that?"

"This is one of those times I'm not an idiot," I say dryly. "Plus real friends don't chain people to walls unless you're preventing the person from doing something that's gonna get them arrested. I'm pretty sure that you're the one who should be getting arrested."

Melinda closes her eyes tightly and shakes her head to herself. "I tried. I gave you all chances." When her eyes open, I flinch. The warm and friendly look in her eyes is now replaced with a sinister one.

"Sorry, lady," I mutter. "But I don't work for you. And I never will."

"Hope you don't regret that decision." Without another word, she spins around and leaves me.

 **RAPH'S POV:**

It's strange to be at the Headquarters without any of my brothers; in fact, I don't think I ever have been here without my brothers. And I can feel it too: it feels strange to not have to worry about Mikey doing something stupid, or Donnie being a show-off or Leo making googly eyes at Lexa.

"Raph." I'm awakened from my thoughts, and find that everyone is staring at me, Lexa being the one who had spoken.

"Yeah."

"Did you hear what I said?" Agent Serena asks.

"No. What did you say?" I don't bother apologizing. They all must know that I've got lots on my mind right now.

"Did you notice anything else? Anything specific that you can remember that might lead us to where your brothers are?"

I try to answer evenly, but patience isn't really my thing.

"I told ya guys I don't know anything else but what I told ya before," I say, crossing my arms tightly across my chest. I'm not used to being the one with all the attention, since I tend to try to stay under the radar. And I sure don't like all these people looking at me.

"I see," Serena says slowly. "Well, keep in mind that any information that you can pick up from your memory could help quicken the search for your brothers." She turns to everyone else. "You're all dismissed." She gives me one more look, and then leaves too.

"I don't know what 'er problem is," I mutter, tightening my crossed arms. "If I had any other information, don't ya think I'd tell 'er?"

Lexa smiles a half-hearted smile. "We know you're telling the truth, Raph. It's just that Agent Serena likes to try and get the most information she can. She knows that we can often remember more if we really set our minds to it. She just thinks that maybe you might be able to remember more if you try. You know, like the small details."

"I ain't Donnie; I don't notice things like that," I say, shaking my head. "He shoulda been the one left behind. He woulda had things figured out in no time. I'm useless."

Lexa's eyes soften. "That's not true, Raph. You're good at so many other things."

"Name one other thing I'm good at."

"Well..." She pauses, and then her eyes light up. "You're incredible at riding motorcycles! You've never been pulled over once. And you work-out like everyday and never seem to get tired, even after loads of training."

"Both of those I use against crime though. Lexa, admit it, I can't do anything but destroy." Lexa opens her mouth to deny it, but she's called by her sister. She looks at me apologetically, and then goes to see what Rose needs.

I let out a breath and rub my forehead.

"You seem troubled," A voice I don't recognize says from behind me.

I slowly turn around to find Lexa's sensei, Master Makai. He's short with dark brown hair, and big understanding eyes, eyes bigger than I've ever seen on a human man.

"Yeah." I wave my hand in dismissal. "I'm fine though."

"Would you like to talk about it?" Makai asks, standing next to but still slightly behind me. He holds his hands behind his back, and doesn't look at me, but looks straight forward.

I don't expect myself to tell him so easily, but I do.

"I feel like this whole thing is my fault," I grumble. "None of this woulda happened if I hadn't've been such a jerk."

"Did you see Karai and Melinda coming?"

"No, I was runnin' the other way. I'd gotten angry at Leo. So if I had've stayed, I woulda been able to stop it."

"Did you know they were going to attack?"

"Well...no," I say. "I didn't know."

"Was there anything you could've or would've done previously about going outside for training?"

"No. We were gonna go no matter what, because we didn't know we were gonna be attacked."

"Then Raphael, this 'whole thing' would have still happened, even if you had've stayed with your brothers. You know what the only difference is?" He continues looking straight forward.

I roll my eyes. "I know, I know: I woulda been taken too and we wouldn't have any lead at all. I've been told that a hundred times."

Makai smiles a small smile, and glances at me for the first time. "Yet that knowledge doesn't put you at ease. You continue to blame yourself."

I lean against the wall. "Well what else can I do?" I ask. "I feel like the most productive thing I can do right now is wish I coulda done somethin' different. I can't use any of that 'photogenic memory' crap Serena was askin' for, but Donnie would be able to. I can't inspire and lead anyone, like Leo would be able to." I laugh bitterly. "I can't even make anyone laugh, like idiot Mikey would."

"So because your brothers are absent, you're seeing their contributions," Makai verifies. "Is that right?"

"Yeah. Doesn't help much though."

He shakes his head. "No, not with this particular mindset. Because while you're finally seeing the piece of the puzzle that each of you is, you're also failing to see how you contribute as well."

"All I can do is hurt things. I ain't good for anythin' else."

"Now who told you that?" Makai asks, looking directly at me now.

"It's true. I'm not smart like Donnie or a leader like Fearless, and I can't make people laugh and smile like Mikey. It shouldn't've been me here—they shoulda taken me and left my brothers."

Makai is silent for a few moments. Those moments turn into minutes, which at that point, I am opening my mouth to say, "Thanks for the help, old man". Before I can, he speaks.

"Have you ever thought that maybe your brothers are thinking the same thing?" When he says that, I don't respond. "Not how you're thinking about yourself, but how you're thinking about them, only reversed roles."

I stand there, trying to figure out what he means. It doesn't soak into my brain, so I finally give up. "What do ya mean?"

"Let's say that, wherever they are, they're thinking, 'Wow, I wish Raph was here. He'd be a huge help because he knows how to beat people up really well.'" I laugh when he says that, but he continues. "You think that violence is all you're good at; but consider this: they're likely wishing they had your skill right now, just as you're wishing that you had theirs." He pauses. "While you're feeling like you're useless where you're left, they may be feeling the same thing."

"Huh," I say. "I didn't think about that." I look at him for a hard, long minute. "Ya know, you're pretty wise."

"Wisdom is simply experience." He smiles, and as he says that, a student from nearby calls him over. "I hope I was able to be of some assistance. Please try not to blame yourself, Raphael. All things happen for a reason." With that, he starts over to the student who had called him.

Master Splinter catches him before he can though, and they both immediately break out into a full-on conversation, filled with laughter after a few moments. They both suddenly resemble one another: small, old and wise.


	28. Kindly, a Psychopath

**Leo's POV:**

"Leo!"

My eyes fly open when I hear my name called. After my eyes have adjusted to the light, I see that Mikey and Donnie are in front of me. Although they're in the tight hold of some Dark Angels, I let out a breath of relief when I don't see any indications that they've been hurt or tortured, besides the bruise on Donnie's head, and the puncture in Mikey's gut.

"Mikey! Donnie!" I reach my arms down to run to them, but am pulled back. I look up and remember that I'm chained.

"Not sure if it was a collective little something you all decided, but each one of your declined my little offer," Melinda says monotonously. "Although I know you'll regret it, I'll have to respect your decisions."

"If you respected our decisions, you'd let us go," I say coldly.

Melinda smiles. "I respect your decisions; I just don't agree with them. Thus, I'm keeping you all here."

"You know, you can't get through life like that," Mikey says. "You can't just kidnap everyone you don't agree with until they agree with you."

"Well I can certainly try." She pauses, and then glances over at the men who are holding my brothers back. "Chain them." Following her order, they both proceed to chain Donnie and Mikey to the wall. We are each chained to one side of a wall, and I can't help but feel a missing piece of our family when I notice that Raph isn't here. I almost ask Melinda if she has him, but I bite my tongue. I just hope that Raph made it out safely.

She dismisses the Dark Angels that brought my brothers in, and soon enough, it's just my brothers, me and Melinda left in the room.

"I must warn you," she says slowly, a smile creeping up on her face. "Mercy isn't in my vocabulary."

"And surrender isn't in ours," I shoot back.

Her cold eyes linger on me for a few moments, and then before I can contemplate what's going on, she's slapped me across the face. The burning sensation from my cheek comes both from the impact and a sense of humiliation. I'm not used to being hit by a girl. In any other circumstance, my brothers would probably laugh at me. But they're not laughing now.

"Here are the rules," she says, glaring into me. "Any wrong answers, you'll be punished." I feel like her stare is going to burn right through me. "Got it?"

I don't respond.

I feel a kick directly to my stomach, and hear my brothers call my name in surprise. I groan and drop my head. Melinda grabs my face and holds a blade up to it. I feel the cold blade pressing against my cheek, and immediately feel vulnerable.

"No answer counts as a wrong answer," she growls, taking the blade from my face. "This is going to be a long, long fight if you all keep resisting." I feel an odd mixture of pressure yet relief that she is focusing on me rather than my brothers.

"Let's start out simple," she says. "Where can we find Oroku Saki?"

"I don't know of anybody by that name." Although this earns another kick in the stomach, I'm not lying. Shredder no longer goes by Shredder, and after things softened out, I no longer even consider him the Shredder. He's Jaxon or Lexi's dad.

"Lies," she sneers.

"Is it though?" I ask. I know I'm pushing the limit, but I want to do all I can to prevent her from turning towards my brothers. If she's going to hurt anyone, I want it to be me. I couldn't stand to see Mikey or Donnie beaten right in front of my eyes, and not be able to do anything about it.

"Is he living with the Kings?" she asks, and she pulls out her blade again. I have the full knowledge that this serves as a threat, but I'm not entirely sure that she'll use it.

"You know, Leonardo..." I cringe when she says my name. "If Oroku Saki is hidden in the King residence, we will find out. We'll go through whatever measures we must. And as I said before, mercy will not be taken into consideration." At this, I almost open my mouth. I want to at least set straight that Jaxon isn't at Lexi's place. I don't want to put them in danger. But at the same time, if I let them know that much, they'll know that I know where he is.

Someone solves that conflict for me.

"He's not at Lexi's house," Mikey says. Melinda and I both immediately turn to face him. "So don't look there." His big blue eyes make my heart break a little when I see Melinda begin to stride towards him.

"So he's not at Alexandra's...where is he then?" she asks. She twirls her blade around in her hand.

I see Mikey's gaze flicker to the blade, and back to Melinda. He looks over at me, and then back to Melinda, and then back to the blade.

"Um..." he begins, and I can see him begin to get visibly nervous. "Uh...I don't know." I can see Melinda is amused at his clammy behavior.

"Yes you do," she says slowly, inching closer to him. "You know exactly where he is. It's just all about what I need to do to get you to tell me. I could punch you, yes. I could slap you – that'd wake you up." She stops twiddling the blade, and locks eyes with him. She places the blade onto his face, and he can't stop her because he's chained. "Or, I could inch my way through this...slowly..." She presses harder. "Painfully."

Mikey's face is filled with a pain I've never seen on my brother before. He bites his lip hard as Melinda's knife digs into his cheek. He's trying so hard not to cry out. Mikey's eyes lock with mine, and I let out a whimper, almost like he's transferring his pain to me. I would give anything for that to happen; I can't stand seeing Mikey in this pain, and knowing that there is more of it to come.

"Stop!" I cry out, and Melinda freezes. Her gaze remains on Mikey.

A blade sudden flies at me, nicking the side of my face and slamming into the wall right next to me.

"Your resistance will only make things worse, Leonardo," she says coldly, still not looking at me. After a few moments, she slowly turns to Donnie. "What about you, smarty-pants? You've been awfully quiet."

Donnie's wide eyes look like they're analyzing everything that's going on. When Melinda addresses him, he doesn't respond. He just continues to stare at her.

Melinda laughs darkly. "Don't try to conjure up a way out of here," she says. "There isn't one. Not even you could figure out where you are. Believe me; you mutants aren't going anywhere any time soon, except hell and back."

"Can't wait," I mutter under my breath.

Melinda's fiery yet cold eyes shoot at me, and she kicks me in the stomach. Her stare looks smug. "You won't have to." Without another word, she leaves, slamming the door behind her.

"Maybe try to keep off the mouthy side, Leo," Donnie says quietly. "That's what I'm trying to do."

"Guys...am I bleeding?" Mikey asks, even though I'm pretty sure he knows the answer. I look over at him and see that his cheek is seeping blood. I don't want to lie to him, but I don't want to let him know exactly how much he's bleeding. So I just nod.

We sit in silence for a long time. Whether it's minutes or hours, I don't know.

A glass-shattering scream is heard in the hallway, along with some punches and kicks. Then the sound of a body dropping to the ground. I shudder. My mind can imagine so much right now.

"I don't want to be here," Mikey says, and his voice is shaking. "I'm scared."

"We all are, Mikey," Donnie says. "It's okay. It'll be okay..."

* * *

Time has lost its meaning, for we no longer know what it really is anymore. They don't provide us with the time of day, and we haven't been out of this room. The only times they unchain us is when they transfer us to torture. Frequently, Melinda comes in with Sullivan and several other Dark Angels to take one of us out into a room nearby and begin torture and questioning there. I'm not entirely sure what the purpose of doing that is, but I have a feeling that the fact that we can hear each other's screams perfectly has something to do with it.

Melinda comes in and without a word, proceeds towards me. Sullivan, however, heads towards Donnie. I'm immediately confused. They've never taken two of us out at once. We don't question it though, and the last thing I see is Mikey looking up at us with his big blue eyes. They have a sadness that should never be seen in Mikey.

 **Mikey's POV:**

It's probably just my imagination, but the cell feels about ten times colder once my brothers are taken. Even though the place is super dark to begin with, it always makes me feel better to know that they're in there with me. Even when one of them is gone, I at least have the other one. Right now, I feel alone and I feel afraid.

Melinda and Sullivan are so much more brutal than we ever thought. Melinda was right: she's merciless. My brothers and I are bruised and battered worse than we ever got in any fight before. Time is nothing anymore, since they never share it with us. I don't even know how long we've been gone for, but it feels like an eternity. Melinda was right about another thing: they're definitely trying to make it seem the most like hell as possible.

My heart starts racing even faster when I hear the cries of my brothers. I feel panicked, and try looking around. I don't know exactly what I'm looking for. I sure wish Raph were here right now. I hate being alone in this place.

After waiting alone for a few minutes, the door to the cell opens. My eyes squint to try and see who has come in. They carry a large lantern with them, so I can see a lot better than before. He's got glasses and is an older looking man. I recognize him from somewhere, but I can't put my finger on where.

"Hello, Michelangelo," the old man says. His voice sounds kind, and I'm not getting any weird vibes from him. But then again, Melinda's voice sounded kind too, until I declined her offer to join her and her army of psychopaths.

"Hi." I don't trust myself to say more, and I've been conditioned to believe that it's dangerous to say anything less. However long we've been here, we've all learned this much: Melinda is going to hurt us and that's inevitable. But we can avoid getting hurt as much by responding to her neutrally, rather than aggressively, sarcastically or staying silent.

"I brought you some food," the old man says. He smiles a little bit, and his eyes light up mischievously. He lowers his voice. "I threw in some extra things, but I wasn't supposed to. But I feel like you deserve it. It's the least I can do." By the way he's talking, it seems like he knows me. That makes me even more curious as to who he is and where I've seen him before.

"Is it poisoned?"

"Of course not!" he says, laughing. "I mean, it may not taste the best, but you can be the judge of that."

I look down at the plate of food in his hands. There's a small loaf of bread, some fruit and a couple potato chips. "What are the things you added?"

"The potato chips," he responds. "That's why there are so few of them. Do you mind if I feed you? I know it might be a little uncomfortable, but it's really the only way to do this."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Are you sure you're not trying to poison me?"

"Positive." He pauses. "Why would I do that?"

"Well the people here don't seem to like me very much," I mutter. I look back down at the food on the plate. "Can I have the bread?"

He's right: it is a little awkward for him to feed me, but my hands are chained and there's no other way around it. I haven't eaten in forever, and even if it is poisoned, at least my stomach will be full. Full of poison, but full nonetheless. As he's feeding me, he talks.

"I'm terribly sorry for all the violence," he says. "When I teamed up with Melinda, I had no idea she would be so violent. You see, violence isn't at all my mechanism of training. I'm a lover, not a fighter. I'm all about patience. With my own prisoners—well, I call them my pets, or friends—I feed them and try to keep them as comfortable as I can. Melinda obviously has a different way of doing things."

That's when things click.

"Hey...you're the crazy RBMC guy," I say. "No offense."

He laughs. "Ah, none taken. And yes, Russell Burgess is my name. It's a pleasure to formally meet you, and I apologize it isn't under better circumstances." He pauses, and I finish up the bread. He offers me the potato chips, which I eagerly take. "You know, the other leader of the RBMC...she phoned me recently and when I told her that I knew where you were, she asked me to find a way to release you."

"Really?"

"Yes." He pauses again and shakes his head. "If only it were that simple. You see, you're not in my possession. You're in Melinda's possession. And partially Karai's. I no longer have the authority to do so. But my friend really wants to release you and your brothers and bring you safely back home. She just doesn't know what to do. Nor do I."

"Who is she? Does she know us?"

Dr. Burgess is quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry—I can't speak specifically about it."

"Oh. That's okay."

We are left in silence again. My head jolts upwards when I hear Leo's cries and screams. Melinda's muffled shouts can be heard too, and I start to shake again.

"It'll be alright," Russell says calmly. "I know this is all frightening and doesn't seem fair. But everything will be okay." We both hear many footsteps in the hallway. Russell picks up the tray and starts for the door. "I have to go. I wasn't supposed to stay and talk."

"Thanks for the food."

"You're welcome, Michelangelo." With one last smile, he closes the door. I'm in darkness once more. I try to maintain the feeling of another person in the room still, but it's difficult to do that, especially with screams in the background.

I close my eyes and try to keep my breathing steady. "It's going to be okay...it's going to be okay..."


	29. All Around Me Are Familiar Faces

When I was about six or seven years old, I had a dog named Chester. I loved that dog to pieces. One day, Chester ran away. I searched everyday for him. The first few days, I would wake up and remember that he was gone. After crying, I would set out on my search for him, with Benj, Rose and Mom. We made lost dog posters and hung them all around our neighborhood. I even had Dad take them to his work. I was determined to find my beloved dog.

It went from a thought after eating breakfast, to a daily, immediate thing. Each morning, my first thought was to look for Chester. It became part of my daily routine, so much that it started to feel like second nature. We looked for him for months, and never found him. Eventually, Mom sat me down and explained to me that we might never see Chester again. I cried and cried, and she got me some ice cream, which made me feel a lot better.

The same thing, essentially, is happening. My first thought in the morning is to head down to the Headquarters as soon as possible or patrol with Raph to look for anything that could lead us to the turtles. I've been training hard with my partner Detective Rasmussen, preparing for when we do have a lead. Rose and I search every single day for clues, and we have been for weeks, as the turtles have been gone for a couple of weeks.

The only difference really is that ice cream won't solve this one.

"Any signs of Karai or Melinda?" I ask Detective Rasmussen (or Nick, as he's called in his unprofessional environment). I look into the screen of the computer he's sitting in front of. The screen displays a security camera placed on one of the most common places for Karai to be found.

"None," Nick says, shaking his head. "Not for weeks. Not since the turtles were taken." He turns to look at me. "It's like they've disappeared from the face of the Earth."

"Karai must be hiding really well," Rose says, leaning against the desk. "Deliberately, I mean. She has to know that we're onto her and that she's gotta be careful about where she let's herself be seen. Because eventually she's gotta go back to the Dark Angels, and when she does..."

"We'll follow her there," I finish. "That's why she's been so under the radar."

"Then what are we supposed to do?" Rose asks, running her hand through her hair. "We don't have a lead if we don't have Karai. We seriously haven't seen any of her Foot soldiers?"

"None of them," Nick says.

There is silence. We are all left in our own thoughts for a few moments.

"Is there anyone who might...have connections with the Foot?" Rose asks slowly.

Nick laughs without humor. "None that we want to get involved with."

"I don't really think we want to get involved with any of this anyway, so what could be worse?"

Nick cringes. "The Purple Dragons. They might know a thing or two. If we can get through their hideout with our heads still attached to our bodies."

"They've taken up a new hobby in butter-knife throwing, so I don't think it's our heads we should we worried about," I say, shaking my head. "Let's bring armor."

"It's a really bad idea," Rose says slowly. "We're already involved with the Foot Clan and the Dark Angels. Do we really want to get involved with the Purple Dragons too? They might not even know anything."

"It's worth a shot though," Nick says. He stands up from his desk. "We really don't have any other options. Gangs seem to have interesting connections with each other."

"Yeah," Rose says, laughing incredulously. "Like trying to murder each other."

"Nick's right, Rose," I say. "It's pretty much the only option we have right now, if we want to find the turtles as soon as possible."

Rose rolls her eyes. "You guys are crazy." She stares at us for a few moments and then laughs. "Okay. Run it by Serena. You do realize though that you're gonna have to bring like five bodyguards with you. With butter-knife proof vests."

I smile. "That can be arranged."

If there were a food chain of gangs, Dark Angels would obviously be at the top. Seldom do people ever beat them, and few make it out of their captivity without any injuries. They're poisonous and merciless.

The Foot Clan would be second. Karai is very clever, and very sly. She's extremely deceiving and knows how to make people uncomfortable. The Foot ninjas are very skilled, and have almost the same amount of skill as the turtles. Not to mention, there are a lot of them.

The Purple Dragons would be last on that food chain. They're certainly not safe by any means, and they're to be feared, but compared to the others, they are nothing. Many of them are teenage boys who had no where else to go, and wanted something exhilarating in their lives.

Teenage boys aren't hard to locate.

The Purple Dragons hideout is in the basement of an abandoned building. I'm not surprised that the police haven't found it yet. Passing by the building on the street, you might hear some yelling, but the traffic of New York City drowns out most of the chaos. If you were to go inside of alleyway by the building, and into the basement, you'd find a very large group of teenage to middle aged guys and girls who are doing a mixture of shouting and beating each other. Usually both.

I try to stride in as confidently as possible with Rose, Nick, Raph and Casey. Firmly packed into the space we're walking in, we also have warriors from the Headquarters.

I don't want to be cliché and say that the room went dead silent the moment we walked in, because that's not what happened. You couldn't hear a pin drop. Nobody froze when we walked through the doors. It happened gradually, and somehow, that was a little worse.

One by one, Purple Dragons slow down their movements and turn to face us. Some cross their arms over their chest, and stand up straighter. I know exactly what they're doing: they're claiming their territory, and making sure we know that we don't belong here. Well they don't have to do that—we wouldn't be here if measures didn't call for it.

I know who I'm looking for, but I don't see him. The more moments that pass by, the more pairs of eyes I feel are glaring into us. I finally find who I'm looking for.

"Hun," I say, standing up straighter as I look the Purple Dragon leader in the eyes from across the room. "We're coming here to request something. We need your help."

He glares into me for a few moments, and then starts to laugh. I suddenly feel uneasy. I notice that the Dragons around me are getting closer and closer. Some are holding broken pipes or bats. I look over at Casey, who has a grip on his own bat.

"The Purple Dragons don't help just anybody, little girl," Hun booms.

"And we sure don't like strangers trespassing," a tall, buff guy says. He's one of the people holding a broken pipe. The pipe looks a little out of proportion with his body, but I'm sure he can do some damage with it. And I sure don't want to be a test subject for that.

"Just hear us out," Rose says, putting a hand in front of me, as if that'll protect me. "We just have a request."

"Ooh two pretty little girls," another guy from the crowd says. He's got rusty yellow teeth, and small whiskers. He stands really close to us, and smells of beer. "We gon have lots of fun here."

"Don't even think about it," Raph growls, stepping in front of my sister and I.

"Hey man," the tall buff guy from before says. "You came into our territory. We can do whatever we want with you." The man makes eye contact with me, and then my sister. He grins. "And we're gonna have a lot of fun with these two."

My stomach feels queasy, and I'm not as confident as I was when I first walked in. I feel unstable on all sides – like someone is going to jump up from behind me, even though I know we've got some Warriors behind us.

"I think I'll take this one," a guy says, reaching out to grab me. He looks like he's in his late thirties, and I automatically get awful vibes from him. I look to Raph in a panic, but before he can intervene, another voice comes from the crowd.

"Don't touch her."

I notice that we are the only people who turn to see where the voice comes from. This tells me that everyone else must know the voice very well.

I'm not shocked that I don't recognize it. It's a voice I spent a whole lot of time trying to forget. Time, tears and tons of ice cream.

Tristan looks about the same – just older. His brown hair is still styled nicely, especially for a Purple Dragon, and he's well-dressed, again, for a Purple Dragon. He's wearing a loose grey tank top, some dark jeans and some white shoes. His brown eyes find mine, and I only hold his gaze for a few moments, before looking down.

"Let's hear what they have to say." When he says this, I find myself looking back up again. But Rose speaks for me, and I'm grateful for that.

"We need information," she says. She turns to Raph, who pulls out a large bag of money. "And we are willing to pay as much as you want for it."

Several of the Purple Dragons reach out to grab it, but Tristan intervenes.

"Get away, Dragons," he says sternly. He brings his gaze to Rose. "What kind of information do you need?"

"None about you," she says, crossing her arms. "Just information about Karai and her whereabouts."

"What makes you think we have any information about Karai?" he questions evenly, crossing his arms.

"Fair question," Rose says, nodding one. "Well, it's an assumption. We know the gangs in New York tend to be connected."

"How do you know about the gangs of the area?"

"That information is irrelevant," she responds smoothly. "Now back to the matter at hand: do you or do you not have information about where Karai is?"

"We can," Tristan says slowly. I suddenly wonder why he's the one who seems to be doing all the talking. I thought Hun was the leader of the Purple Dragons. And he still looks like it; but Tristan is the one who seems to be answering all the questions. And no one is stopping him.

"You can?"

"Yes," he says. "We can acquire information." I almost laugh in spite of the situation. Tristan definitely doesn't seem like a Purple Dragon – especially if he uses words like 'acquire'.

"The question is will you?" my sister asks, scanning the room of hundreds of Purple Dragons. "You should probably come to a consensus with your people."

"Ya said we gonna get paid," one of the Dragons says. He takes a large bite into an apple. His lips spit out small fragments of the skin as he talks. "Do we all get that much money?"

"We'll provide you with a sufficient amount of money for your help and also for your silence. Which means that this business stays here, and no where else. If you don't go telling anyone else, we'll pay you your promised reward." Rose faces Tristan. "So? What do you say?"

Tristan is quiet for a few moments. He looks around at all the other Purple Dragons. He almost seems to look them all square in the eyes. Finally, he looks back at Hun. Hun continues to glare at us, but his face softens when he sees the bag of money again. He locks eyes with Tristan and gives a single nod.

Tristan turns back to face us, and nods his head as well. "We'll give you the knowledge we're able to find, and we'll stay silent about you being here."

"As long as we're paid," one of the Dragons reminds.

"You'll get paid," Rose promises. She looks up at Tristan and nods. "We'll be back."

Then, she turns and starts back up the stairs. We all follow. But before doing so, I lock eyes with Tristan once more. His eyes are screaming questions but every other part of his face and his body seems like he's never seen me before. I tear my eyes from his and follow my sister up the stairs.

I feel the stares of the Dragons the entire way up.

I couldn't help but be impressed at Rose's strength and boldness when approaching the Purple Dragons. I knew that before she wasn't super thrilled with the idea of working with the Dragons, but she really took initiative.

"Rose...are we really working with the Purple Dragons?" I ask, cringing.

"Yes," she says, and she sounds exasperated. "I don't want to talk about it."

 **Leo's POV:**

Growing up with Mikey for the last nineteen years, I've learned two things about his sleeping patterns.

First of all, he's always snored really loudly. Even with his door closed, we can all hear him.

Secondly, he can sleep anywhere.

Even chained to the wall of a cold, dark cell.

Donnie is either asleep too, or he's really, really good at being quiet.

The door is thrown open. Mikey cries out and jolts awake.

There's a laugh that comes from the doorway, but it isn't Melinda's. It's a laugh I don't recognize. It's clearly a male voice. Whoever it is turns on the light, and I automatically squint my eyes, since the light isn't something I'm used to anymore.

There's more laughter. "Wow, you guys look awful." Once my eyes adjust, I look up to see someone I don't recognize. It looks like just a teenage boy. I immediately wonder why he's here with the Dark Angels, but then I remember that many of the Dark Angels are in fact teenagers who did really, really vile things.

Then I realize I've seen him before.

The guy must mistaken the surprised look on my face as fear.

"Don't worry; I'm not here to kill you. That's my uncle's job," he says smugly. He leans against the wall, and we sit in silence. None of us ask who his uncle is. We don't even entirely know what he's here for. "My uncle is Sullivan."

"Sullivan is your uncle?" Donnie asks, looking up in surprise.

"Duh," he says, nodding his head. "That's what I just said."

I already don't like this kid's attitude. But if there's one thing I've learned here, it's that even when you don't like somebody's attitude, don't let them know that. Because here, they have all the power.

"Okay, well, did he send you in here?" Donnie asks.

The guy shrugs. "No. I'm not really supposed to be in here. But I'm bored." He nods his head out to the hallway. "None of the guys out there like me too much. I think they're just jealous that Sullivan is my uncle."

 _Yes, I'm sure we all want psychopath uncles,_ I think to myself. I have to actually bite my tongue to keep myself from saying that.

I have a feeling Donnie and Mikey are doing the same because none of us say anything.

"You know," he continues. "They're gonna be sorry they weren't nicer to me. One day I'm gonna take over my uncle's position. No one will fear Sullivan anymore. No, it's going to be 'Fear Daniel Howe'. I tell you, that's what's going to happen." The longer I look at the kid, the less intimidating he seems. He looks maybe nineteen at the oldest. He's really skinny and maybe a few inches shorter than my brothers and I.

"Do you have any other goals? Aspirations?" Donnie asks. "College?"

"Well, yeah, I go to Bolivar Ranch. It's not bad. Meet a lot of hot girls there." His eyebrows draw together. "But none of them want to be with me. I always pull out the pity story about how my parents died when I was thirteen. That gets them for a while, but they always leave."

"Well did your parents die?" I ask.

"Yes," he says. "Well...my mom did."

"Did you kill her?" I ask dryly.

He shoots a look at me. "Why do you ask?"

I shrug, but it hurts to even do that. "Usually to get into the Dark Angels, you've gotta do something really horrible, like kill a family member."

He pauses all his movements, and then looks both ways, even though there's no one here besides us.

"Honestly," he says, lowering his voice. "That's what everyone thinks. They think I killed my mom and blamed it on my dad. That's the only way I could get into the Dark Angels."

"So you didn't actually kill her?" Donnie verifies.

"Of course not," he says. "You think I could do that?"

"Well a lot of the others did," Mikey says. "So how did you figure that out?"

"I have ways." He leans in closer. "Connections." When none of us reply to that, he sighs and leans against the wall again. "Man, they're really gonna wish they had been nicer to me."

"Who? The other Dark Angels?"

"Oh yeah," he says. "And the girls at my college. They don't know what they're missing out on. All they'd have to do is give me one night to show them—"

"Okay, okay, we really didn't ask for all your teenage boy hormone drama," I mutter. One thing I've gathered in the ten minutes he's been here is this: he's not dangerous. Saying one sarcastic thing isn't going to be the end of the world.

"Yeah, I didn't really ask for it either, but here we are," he says, grinning.

Screams are heard from the hallway. He jolts up.

"I'm gonna go now," he says, as if it's a choice. But I can tell that he's just afraid. "Nice talkin' to ya frogs." And with that, he's gone.

The first normal conversation I've had with someone in weeks. And it was a teenage boy talking about how he pretended to murder his mom.

Normalcy is an illusion.


	30. Living Nightmare

**Leo's POV:**

I wake up sobbing. My heart is racing, and I feel dizzy.

"It's okay, Leo," Mikey says softly. "It was just another bad dream. Everything is okay."

Once my heart rate finally goes down, I close my eyes.

"Are they the same?" Donnie asks quietly.

"No," I say. "The dreams are getting darker." I know we have to have been gone for at least a few weeks. I'm not entirely sure when the nightmares began, but it was sometime after Sullivan's nephew came to visit us.

"Do you want to talk about this one?" Mikey asks.

I stay silent for a few moments, still trying to comprehend reality. My heart rate is slowing, but I'm still shaken from my dream. I look up, and see Mikey and Donnie looking at me expectantly.

"They found Lexi. She was walking to the lair; she was alone. The Dark Angels...they found her and they took her. They beat her, and they tortured her..." I trail off, and close my eyes. The images remain in my head, no matter how much I try to cast them out. "Even worse than anything they've done to us. She was screaming, and there were people around but nobody heard her. The Dark Angels were in plain sight and yet nobody did anything."

"It was a dream, Leo," Donnie says softly. "You know people would do something in real life."

"I know," I whisper, shaking my head. "It was just...hard to see. They took her to the Brooklyn Bridge. She was screaming the entire way. They tossed her off the bridge. I woke up while she was falling." My brain hurts from the replayed images. Lexi's tormented and terror-ridden face. Her screams. Melinda's look of satisfaction.

And the fact that I could do nothing to help.

"Were you there in this dream? Could you do anything?"

"Nothing," I say. "It was like...watching a movie. A sick, twisted movie. I could only sit there and hope that the ending turned out alright. I wasn't in her reach – couldn't do anything." I squeeze my eyes shut. "I couldn't do anything..."

"You've been having a lot of those," Mikey says. "Do you think there's a meaning behind it?"

"I don't care if there's a meaning. I just want them to stop," I say. I feel helpless. I haven't had nightmares like this since I was young. And even then, they were much less graphic and less frightening. Most importantly, they were less likely to happen.

"I think it's a reaction to you being away for so long. It's a sense of helplessness. Not only are you unable to be near her physically, but you have no idea what's happening right now. Even if she is safe, your mind doesn't know that. So naturally, it roams and your imagination can come up with a lot of different things. But like I said, it's out of your reach. So it's showing itself through dreams," Donnie explains.

I don't really ask him to explain or give me his scientific reasoning, and quite frankly, I don't want it. It doesn't change the fact that I've been having these nightmares for what I'm pretty sure has been weeks, and they're only getting worse.

But for some reason, his explanation helps a little bit. Even if the dreams don't go away, the explanation puts me at ease for now.

My brothers and I always tease Donnie about how he always acts like he knows everything. And usually, he does know nearly everything. It can get annoying sometimes. But it's times like this that we're grateful for his explanations. Even if it's just him trying to reassure himself, it gives us some sort of security.

 **Lexi's POV:**

I don't delete things and I don't throw things out. It's one of the biggest problems I have, because my life is one cluttered mess of memories. I have phone numbers from people I haven't talked to since the seventh grade, and I'm still holding onto selfies I took on days where I didn't look as good as I thought I looked at the time. My room is a canyon of cards and notes. I've got a rock that a boy who had a crush on me in the 2nd grade gave me, and doodles from the 6th grade, when we were learning about Mesopotamia. I don't delete things and I don't throw things out.

So when a text message appears on my phone with a name I recognize attached to it, I don't have to wonder who it is and feel threatened by the message which reads, "We have the information. Come by before we change our minds." I'm surprised that after all these years Tristan has kept my phone number, but nonetheless grateful. I mean, I kept his.

We enter the hideout of the Purple Dragons the same way we did last time, only more confident and with less people with the overt desire to bash our brains out. Rose has the large sum of money hidden underneath her trench coat. She and I lead the way through the hideout, and we both scan the crowd, looking for a different person than we had the first time.

Tristan's eyes meet mine in the crowd, and he gives a single nod and steps forward. I nod back to him, and glance at Rosalie, who is already removing the bag of money from her hidden place.

"Karai and her clan have been spending a great deal of time with the Dark Angels." His eyebrows draw together. "I'm assuming you knew that much." When I nod, he continues. "The Dark Angels don't let many people find their hideout. And so that's the case still. Karai and her clan have been spending a lot of time with the Angels, but not in their Headquarters. They have a torture chamber on the rural part of Buffalo county."

"They have their own torture chamber? Don't they have one in their own hideout?" Casey asks.

"I'm sure they do," Tristan says evenly. "But they can't risk anyone finding it. So they have one far away, where no one would find it, because it's—"

"In the middle of no where," I finish. "That's why Karai has been way under the radar – she's in a place that's six hours away."

"Exactly," he says, crossing his arms. "I don't exactly know who they're holding in their torture chambers, but that's definitely where they are. And they've been there for weeks."

"How do you know this?" Rose asks. She narrows her eyes. "How did you find out?"

"How we found out doesn't matter," Tristan says, without missing a beat. "We got your information, and that's what you asked for. I know you can't trust me, but...trust me."

Rose hesitates to hand over the money. Naturally, too. We're doing business with the Purple Dragons. And they won't tell us how they got the information they got. There's something weird about that.

But I look at Tristan. His face remains patient and his head is held high. For some reason, I know he's telling the truth. Even though he was a part of the Purple Dragons while he and I were together and he never bothered telling me, I know that what he's saying now is true.

"He's telling the truth," I mumble to Rose. She looks at me when I say this, and then slowly turns back to Tristan.

She holds out the money, and nods at him. "Thank you for your assistance."

I can't sleep that night, no matter how hard I try. Every time I close my eyes, images flash through my mind of the turtles. The torture that the Dark Angels are bestowing upon them breaks my heart. I begin to miss Leo's arms around me, and start to wish I could put my own around him, to offer what comfort I can.

My legs swing over the side of my bed, and I slowly creep out of my bedroom. I shiver a little bit, and turn on the heater. Even with the heater on, I'm still cold. I take all the blankets I can and snuggle up into them, sitting myself onto the couch. I turn the volume of the television on low, and turn on Nickelodeon. The show iCarly is on, and I watch it, immersing myself in my childhood. It helps me escape for a little bit, at least.

I fly into the air when there's a knock at the door. I look at the clock above the T.V: it's eleven at night. I'm almost certain that Rose is asleep, and know for a fact that Mom is already home. Three out of four of the turtles are missing, and Raph isn't the one to go casually knocking on our front door.

I stand there, frozen.

There is another knock.

When I look out the peep-hole, nobody is there.

Okay, well that's something that happens in every horror movie ever made. And as Raph would say, it's always the "dumb blonde who opens the door".

Tonight, and only tonight, would Raph be right.

I open the door, and see nobody there. I look to my right, and a scream almost escapes me.

"Tristan!" I whisper loudly. I punch him in the chest. "What are you doing?!"

He winces, and rubs his chest. "Sorry," he whispers. "Can I come in?"

"No!" I say incredulously. "Why would I let you in?" I do a double-take down the hallway. "What if somebody followed you?!" He stands there helplessly for a few moments, and I groan, and pull him inside. "Get in here."

I close the door, and turn to him, shivering even more than before.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he says softly. "I called you and left a message saying I was coming."

"It's eleven at night," I say, still flabbergasted. "And my phone is in my room."

"Assuming you weren't in your room with it?"

"Stop being a smart alec and tell me what the heck you're doing here!" I exclaim. I'm still whispering, but I take no mind to mask my irritation.

"Sorry, sorry! Okay, I'm here because I want to help you."

"I don't need your help, Tristan. Go back to your friends."

"Well now I have to explain myself," he says. "Can I sit down?"

"No," I say, closing my eyes, and placing my hands onto them. "I'm sorry, but no. I don't need your explanation."

"Can I offer an apology then?"

"For what?" I ask dryly. "Never telling me you were part of a malicious New York gang? When we were fifteen?"

"Well you broke up with me before I had the chance to."

"I broke up with you for that very reason," I say. When I see his face change to a look of realization, I don't give him a moment to speak. "Look, I don't really care to talk about it."

"Well I do," he says slowly. "Especially now that I find out you knew all this time. Lexi, why didn't you tell me?"

I hold his gaze for a few moments, and then surrender. Realizing that he's not going to let me go like that, I take a seat on my couch, and wrap my blankets around myself again. I dig my nose into a pink plush one, to warm it up, and then raise my eyes at him.

"You'd want to know how I knew. Then you'd probably tell the other Purple Dragons, and then they'd all be out to hurt me, and then..." I pause shake my head. "I couldn't risk that. Risk my own safety, and my family's safety."

Tristan's face softens. "Lexi, I wouldn't do that."

"How was I supposed to know?" I ask. "That's how most Purple Dragons are. I assumed you were the same."

Tristan opens his mouth, and then closes it. After a few moments, he takes a seat on the couch next to me, but still a few feet away.

"I had only just joined a few months into us dating," Tristan says. "The reason? I had to."

"You didn't _have_ to do anything, Tristan," I say coldly. "It was your choice."

He looks surprised when I say that. "You've obviously never joined a gang before then."

"No, I haven't. That's why you're in this mess and I'm not." I can't seem to control what I'm saying. I could attribute it for how late at night it is, or how tired I am. Or even how hurt I was when I found out, and all the nights I cried after breaking up with him.

"Will you listen to me? Please?" He sounds like he's beginning to lose his patience. So I stop, and listen. "Thank you." He sighs. "Do you remember my younger sister Jenn?" When I nod my head, he continues. "She got into some trouble. She was only twelve, but her friends were really bad influences. She was out with them one night. She accidentally joined the Purple Dragons. And believe me, it's a lot easier to accidentally join a gang than you might think."

"When I found out, I told her to take me to their hideout. They tried to kill her for sharing where the hideout was, but I offered up myself. Told them that if they let her resign in her membership, that I would take her place." He raises his eyebrows. "This was years ago, and they were a lot less strict than they are now. They granted my suggestion."

I don't know what to say. I immediately feel bad for lashing out, and most of all, for assuming.

"You seem out of place there," I say quietly. "Yet they all seemed to look up to you there. Even Hun."

"There was an incident that happened about a year ago," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "Have you heard of Oroku Saki?" My heart freezes at the name. But I can't let him know my relation.

"Yes, I've heard of him," I say slowly.

"Well, we got into a battle with him. He nearly killed Hun. I stepped in and managed to fight him off. They all saw me as a hero for that, and Hun put me second in command." When he says this, I simply nod. He sighs and shakes his head to himself. "Lexi, I didn't consider myself a Purple Dragon at the time and that's why I didn't tell you."

"But you are one now."

"Well, yes. I am now. But that's what comes with three years of being surrounded by Purple Dragons. I did become one."

"What do you want to help me with?"

He takes in a breath. "Whatever it is that you need the info for the Foot Clan for. I want to help." I open my mouth to object, but he continues. "And before you say no, let me just bring this up: who is the one who got the information on exactly where the Karai and the Dark Angels are?"

"You are..." I mutter. "But—"

"And who was the one who followed through with it, immediately texting you as soon as we got the information?"

"You."

"And who was the one who tutored you in math every single Thursday, even when—"

"Okay that doesn't count," I say laughing.

"Look," he says, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "I know you have a thousand reasons not to trust me. And I know you could probably think of a thousand more. But please, find just one reason to trust me because I promise you can. This isn't the PD sending me out to spy. They have no idea I'm here. This is me—Tristan Brooks—offering to help. By myself."

"And if I come to find out I can't trust you?"

"If you find out you can't trust me, or I do anything to betray your trust, you have the full permission to call the cops on me. Get me arrested. Maybe even tell my mom."

That gets a laugh out of me. "Wow, telling your mom. That gives me a lot of power."

"So? What do you say?" He looks at me expectantly.

I sigh. I'm really good at trusting bad people. But for kudos to me for trusting the right bad people.

The drive is long, but conversation is not scarce. Six hours is a long time, but that just means six more hours to prepare. Six more hours to make sure we know what we're doing.

The Battle Shell is packed. Donnie isn't here to drive it, but Noah is the next best thing. Donnie taught him how to drive the Battle Shell a long time ago, feeding Noah's interest in technology. Those two could be the same person.

Casey and April are here, but only to be on watch (much to Casey's dismay). Their duty is to look after the Battle Shell, and call us when they see something suspicious happening. In case of retreat, they are to be our getaway.

Mom speaks with Agent Serena. They talk in low voices, and seem to be observing a lot.

Dad and Master Splinter sit quietly.

Rose and I stand together, looking out the windshield. She and I have almost been inseparable since this whole incident. I have begun to realize that she and I are a lot more similar than I originally thought. We both stand up straight, and tend to walk with a purpose. We both cross our arms when we're nervous.

And we both have a fiery determination when someone we love is in danger. That's something I never noticed in my sister before, because I was always the one fired up.

Nick sits by the wheel, listening to Noah talk about all things technology. Nick, Noah and Donnie would make a great trio. And Tristan sits nearby them, obviously listening in. I can't help but smile a little bit. Tristan was always very smart in school, which was another reason I had been so shocked to learn of his membership in the Purple Dragons.

From the corner of my eye, I see a flash of red. I turn my head and see Raph, staring out the window. I stride towards him, and stand above him before sitting down.

"How are you doing?" I ask him. He doesn't answer me for a few moments. Those moments turn to minutes, to the point where I almost ask him again.

"Ready to get my brothers back." He pauses. "And ready to say all the apologies to them for all the things I've done wrong to them." He turns his head, and I see the pain in his eyes.

"Raph," I say softly. I put a hand on his arm. "They're just going to be glad to see you. Everyone gets angry. You don't need to beat yourself up about it. Okay?"

He doesn't reply. He just grumbles something.

"Look," I say. "Right now, focus on the present. We're gonna go get your brothers back. We might come out with bruises and broken bones, but we're going to come out with brothers too."

He turns to look at me, holds my gaze for a few moments, and then offers a single nod. I smile, and squeeze his arm once before getting up again. I head over towards Tristan, and take a seat next to him. He turns to me, and pretends like he wasn't listening to the "exciting" conversation about molecules and advanced technology.

"How far are we?" I ask him.

"About an hour away." He glances at me. "Do you have weapons?"

I pat my side, where my sheath hangs. "Katanas."

He laughs in disbelief. "See, you were hiding something too. Katanas! You know how to wield katanas! You never mentioned that on any of our dates."

I laugh. "I learned how to wield katanas to fend off people like you."

"Touché."

We are in what seems to be the middle of nowhere, when Tristan tells us to stop the Battle Shell.

"Are you kidding me?" Raph exclaims. "Listen here, ya Purple Dinosaur, if you're jokin, I'm gonna—"

"He's not joking, Raph," I say.

"He'd betta not be," Raph grumbles. "We don't got any time for that."

We pile out of the Battle Shell, and take a look around. It's as rural as rural gets. Miles are stretched with yellow grass, and fields. There are some trees here and there, and a few barns. It's about four in the afternoon, and we all know we must move quickly because darkness is closing in on us already. And this time, we aren't going to have the city light our way.

"Where is it?" Rose asks, tilting her head. She holds her own katana close to her.

"You guys see that barn over there?" Tristan points to a large vomit-yellow building. It's made up of bricks, wood and a whole lot of rust. The paint on the wood is chipping, and has turned a nasty color.

"Are they inside?" Agent Serena asks, peering at the building. "It looks dead."

"It's supposed to," Tristan responds, hopping down from the Battle Shell. "Their chamber isn't in the barn." He glances at me. "It's underneath."

"Underneath? Like an underground tunnel?" Noah asks, leaning against the Battle Shell.

"Something like that." Tristan gazes at the barn. "No one would expect it, since it's in the middle of nowhere and seems abandoned. Even if somebody did stumble upon it, they'd never guess there is a torture chamber underneath the floor boards."

"We learn more and more about the Dark Angels each day," Mom mumbles, shaking her head. "We thought we knew so much."

"Well what we are waitin' for?" Raph asks. "Let's go!"

"Hold on," Tristan says. "We need to—"

"I ain't takin' orders from you, Purple Pal," Raph says, glaring.

Tristan sighs. Clear irritation fiddles on his face. "Tristan. My name is Tristan." He looks at the rest of us, and ignores Raph's angry eyes. "We need to split up. However you do it, it's not up to me. But it's necessary. We can't all parade in there, or else they'll catch us for sure. We need to be in small groups."

"Rosalie, Detective Rasmussen, Detective King, you go together. Raphael and Tristan are a team, and Emmeline, Jaxon and I will go together." Agent Serena is always the one to take charge.

"Does that mean I'm staying back with April, Casey and Splinter?" Noah asks. He looks a bit disappointed, but also a bit relieved.

"That's probably best," Serena says. "Too many of us in there, and we'll get caught. You'll be safer out here, and you'll be able to help out here."

The moment we split up, I feel a slight sense of vulnerability. But I steady myself when I realize the team we are: all three of us have been trained professionally at the Headquarters. We've worked their most of our lives. Danger is each of our middle names. None of us are irrationally impulsive, and we all seem to have the logical part of our head activated.

When we enter the barn, the only thing that makes noise is the door. It creaks the slightest bit, but that's it. The floorboards seem sturdy, and don't make a single noise. I have a feeling that the Dark Angels made sure of this.

"Do you think they have cameras?" I whisper. Nick pauses, and then glances back at me.

"Let's hope not."

"And if they do?" Rose asks.

Nick bites his lip, and stands there thinking. His head bobs back up to us. "Okay here's what I'm going to do," he whispers. "I'm going to run back to the Battle Shell. I'll ask Noah if he can somehow hack into the base and see if he can deactivate the cameras."

It's only a few moments after Nick is out of sight, that a strange sound is heard. It sounds like a machine—like a robot. Moments after this sound starts, a large piece of the floor a few feet in front of us opens up. It does so slowly, and menacingly. I pull Rose behind the curtains by the window. We stand there in petrified silence, both holding our breaths.

The noise stops, but a light has emerged from the floor, indicating that the floorboard has opened completely.

Moments pass.

Minutes pass.

I silently pray that Nick doesn't walk in at the wrong time.

"It must been something else," a voice says. "Close the wall." The boards slowly shut. They seem to close a lot slower than they opened.

I squeeze my eyes tightly, and let out the breath I had been holding in.

"I have a feeling this is going to be a lot harder than we originally thought," Rose says. "How are we supposed to get in when there are literally guards waiting for intruders?"

"I don't know," I say. "I'm just hoping Noah can figure something out. I hope all those scientific breakthroughs got him somewhere."

Rose and I emerge from the curtain, and stand there for a while. Nick eventually comes around the corner, out of breath. It looks like he's been running.

"Sorry for the wait," he says, panting. "But it was worth it. Noah got into the system, and he hacked the security cameras. He won't be able to forever though, but for now, he's got them shut down. We have to hurry." He looks around the room. "Have you guys found a way in yet?"

My sister and I look at each other.

The floor begins to open again.

This time, we don't hide. Rosalie and I both put a hand on one of our katanas. Nick touches his gun for a brief moment, but then pulls out his own katana. I have a gun too (as all Detectives are provided with one) but I don't think I'll need to use it.

Three teenagers, all trained and holding katanas. I'm not sure how this is going to turn out.

I'm the first to jump.

The moment my feet hit the ground, I can feel that something is off. I spin around and see two Dark Angels. One launches at me, but just as they do so, Rosalie jumps down, kicking him in the head. The Angel crashes to the ground. The other runs to hit a big red button on the wall, but I kick him in the stomach. He bounces back up, and tries again towards the button. I begin to feel panic rise within me.

A curved flying object flies at him, knocking him out. The object bounces backwards. I follow it and find it has landed back into the hands of Tristan. He and Raph are standing there. They both take off down the other direction.

Nick finds the red button and laughs without humor. "Can't imagine what kinds of trouble a big red button would've gotten us into."

"Don't even get close to it," Rose says, shaking her head. "I hope we never find out."

"Since Noah hacked into the cameras, those were probably the only guards for a while. But let's keep an eye out anyway." Nick proceeds down the hallway.

The halls are white, which seems quite contradictory, given their malicious title. It's so white that it's blinding. I feel dizzy at first, but then I find myself growing accustomed to it. There are corridors, and very few actual doors. The sight of simply doorways makes me a little nervous, because we aren't able to have a twisting doorknob to warn us.

"This looks like something straight out of a horror movie," Rose mutters. "Blinding white walls, empty doorways, bright lights."

"It's definitely eerie," Nick agrees. "I feel off here. Off balance, both physically and—" He hears something and pauses. "—mentally."

"I think that's what it's meant to do," I say. I look around the corner of one doorway, and when I don't see anything, I proceed down it. "It's meant to make you think that something is wrong. They want you to feel off. They want you to feel uncomfortable."

"I feel high, that's what I feel," Rose says, holding her head. "I feel like nothing is real."

"Probably another thing they want you to think."

"So basically anything I'm feeling, they've probably got it premeditated," Rose says, rubbing her eyes. "Is that what I'm hearing?"

"Something like that," I respond. We walk for a few more minutes.

A strange glitching sound comes from the ceiling.

"What was—"

The glitching stops, and suddenly the room is completely dark, besides the "EXIT" signs above us.

"Did one of you guys turn off the lights?" Nick asks slowly.

"No," Rose and I both respond.

Nick sighs. "Then we have a problem."

"Maybe it's a side effect of Noah hacking into the base?" Rose suggests. Right after she says that, the unmistakable sound of glass shattering.

"Or someone wants to kill us," Nick says. He fumbles around in the dark and grabs both of our hands. "Run." The three of us take off down the dark hallway. He can hear the sound of footsteps behind us, and footsteps in front of us.

"We're surrounded," Rose says, out of breath. "And blind!"

The footsteps behind us get more distant, and the ones in front of us get louder. I'm feeling the wall, making sure we don't run into any. The wall makes a sharp turn, to I take it, dragging Nick and Rosalie with me. Immediately, my face crashes into a hard surface.

I then realize there is something different about this surface.

It's a door.

Without thinking, I shut the door. I stand in front of it, out of breath.

A light goes on.

All three of us jump ten feet in the air when we see who is in front of us.

"Oh, no need to be so frightful. I don't bite." Russell Burgess doesn't bite, no. But he does betray. His eyes find me, and he smiles a sad smile. "Hello, Alexandra. I never did get to properly apologize—"

"You gave me up to the Dark Angels," I say coldly. "No apology can fix that."

"I know," he says. He shakes his head. "I know, Alexandra. Had I known all that I later found out, I never would've given you to Melinda. It was a terrible mistake." He pauses, and his face lights up. "But while you're here, there is something I must do. And it's something I cannot do for myself, rather, I need you."

"I'm not doing any favors for you," I spit.

"Are you not close friends with the ones they call the turtles?" he asks. When he says this, my head shoots up. I look to him to see if he's being taunting, but his face is absent of any sarcasm or tease. He's genuine.

"Where are they?" I ask.

"I can show you," he says. "And...and I will! But please understand it is a great risk to take. This being said, I am willing to take it. I only wanted to explore and create. I did not mean to cause such a ruckus." His face drops. "I did not mean to cause so much pain." As he says this, I immediately think of Benjamin. He is dead because of one of this man's creations.

"I spoke with Michelangelo, you see," he continues. "A while ago. When they were first here. He's a very nice fellow. He seemed to full of hope. He knew you would all come for them. I would feel it a betrayal of our friendship to not help him." He pauses. "Or at least try to."

"Where are they?" Rose asks.

"They're currently being kept in Torture Chamber 5B," the old scientist says. "This is room you're in now is the supply closet. I come in here during dinner." He holds up a zip-lock bag and smiles. "Roast beef sandwiches are my favorite. Have those every Wednesday."

"How do we get there?"

"Go straight down the hallway. Make four lefts, and then a right. And there you have it: Chamber 5B." He takes a seat on the ground and opens up his bag. The sandwich doesn't look very appetizing, and the meat smells old, but it seems to make him happy. He takes a gigantic bite, and then looks back up at us. "Good luck!"

I raise my eyebrows at him. "I don't understand your specific type of crazy, but keep at it." As we're leaving I turn back to him. "Thank you."

Four lefts, one right. Four lefts, one right.

The footsteps that had followed us before are now gone. The lights are back on.

The big sign that says 5B marks our place. There's a tall, silver door in front of it, and no windows. I try the doorknob – it's locked.

"Crap..." I mutter. I look back at Rose. "Rose? Any lock-picking devices?"

She smiles, and pulls out the bobby-pin that's in her hair. "Only the best." Within minutes, she's picked the lock. As she pushes open the door, a ground-shaking volume of sirens go off. The white lights turn to flashing red lights. The sirens begin to sound like screams. The footsteps start again, and this time, they've tripled.

I panic and slam the door again.

"Lexi!" Rosalie says, as we stand in another dark room. "You need to stop doing that!"

"I'm sorry!" I exclaim. "I panicked!"

"Lexi?" A hoarse voice is heard from the corner of the room. I whirl around. "Lexi, is that really you? Please tell me it's you." It's only when the voice keeps speaking that I recognize it as Mikey. He sounds so drained of all energy, but it's that little speck of hope that helps me identify him.

"Mikey!" I exclaim, relief flooding through that one word. "Are you okay? Are Donnie and Leo in here too?"

"I'm here," a very strained Don voice says.

The door behind me is thrown in, and Dark Angels begin flooding in. Light pours through the cell, and I'm able to fully see what's in front of me. I pull out my katanas and begin to fight. Rose and Nick do the same. First, it's just ten or fifteen Dark Angels. But soon enough, they're overflowing. Blood is everywhere, and so are bodies. Gratitude flushes over me when I see Tristan and Raph rush in. Raph pulls out his pair of sai and Tristan takes out his boomerang. Shortly following them, Mom, Dad and Serena come in, ready to fight.

"Girls!" Mom calls. Rose and I both look up. She nudges her head towards the turtles, still chained to the wall. I slide my katanas into my sheath and rush towards the edges of the cell. Rose hands me another one of her bobby pins. I unlock Mikey's chains, and he falls to the ground.

"Thanks, babe," he mumbles, his face pressed against the ground.

"Oh, Mikey..." I say, shaking my head. "We've gotta get you out of here."

"I'll be fine," he says drowsily. "Go unchain your boyfriend." In spite of everything, I laugh. At least Mikey's humor is still intact.

My eyes locate Leo, who looks the oddest mixture of alert, yet exhausted. He looks like he wants to help, but he can't. He physically can't. He has a black eye, and bruises and cuts all over his arms and face. His plastron is all scratched up, and looks a bit dented.

"Oh Leo..." I whisper, shaking my head. I hurry over to him, and stand on my tip-toes to unlock his wrists. When I do, he falls to the ground, just as Mikey did. My stomach feels sick and tears spring to my eyes when I see him looking so broken.

"Hey," I whisper. I try to pull him up, but he's heavy. His eyes are halfway open. I put my hand on his face, and softly stroke it. "Leo. I'm here." His eyes find mine, and he holds my gaze for a few moments. He swallows and closes his eyes.

"Thank you for coming." His voice is raspy and worn, just as Mikey's was.

"Of course," I mumble. A single teardrop falls from my face and hits his plastron. His eyes spring open at this.

"Don't cry," he says, gruffly. "I'm okay." His eyes begin to close again. I know he's exhausted, but he needs to stay awake right now. We won't be able to get him out of here if he's asleep.

"Leo," I say firmly, shaking him. "You need to stay awake, okay? We're gonna get you all out of here. We've got the Battle Shell right out—Leo!" I shake him again, and his eyes spring open again. "We've got the Battle Shell right outside. We just need to stay conscious, okay?"

"I'll try to, love," he says, and it sends shivers down my spine when he calls me that. It feels like it's been forever. I help him stand up, and see that Rosalie is trying to get Mikey to wake up too.

Raph catches sight of his brothers. He swings around, kicking several of the Angels down, and then rushes towards Mikey.

"Mikey," he says, shaking the orange-clad turtle. "C'mon, buddy, ya gotta stay awake. Please do that for me, okay?"

"Sure thing, Raph," he says, wrenching his eyes open. "I knew you'd come, big brother."

"I'll always come for ya, Mike," Raph says firmly.

It seems like the amount of Dark Angels is dying down. I then realize that all of them can't be here at one; the rest must be at their Headquarters. This gives me a final boost of energy, and I jump back into action.

"Lexi!" Mom says, looking over at me. "We have to go! There are still too many!" I look over and see that she's helping Leo out of the room. Dad is guiding Donnie, and Mikey is being carried by Raph.

"I know!" I shout, grunting when one of the Angels kicks me in the side. "Let me just...get...a...few more." I look around and see that Tristan has knocked out most of them with his boomerang. Nick begins to exit, knocking over some Dark Angels on the way. One of them kicks him in the head. He crashes to the ground, but luckily, is only unconscious for a few moments.

"Now, Alexandra!" Mom shrieks. "Please!"

Hearing the urgency in her voice, I start towards the exit.

But a dark figure blocks it.

Melinda.

"Would you look at that," Melinda says dryly. "Your little green friends were right: you did show up." She lifts her hand up, and this causes all the other Dark Angels to cease fighting. "I'll take care of this one myself."

She makes her way closer to me, and as she does this, I try inching towards the door. However, she doesn't seem to be trying to follow me. Maybe her intention is to catch me off guard. Whatever it is, I have to be ready. Now, the only people in the room are me and Melinda.

"What are you trying to do, Melinda?" I ask in disgust. "What do you want from us?"

"The problem with little teenagers like you is that you fail to see your greatness, Alexandra. You fail to see all the incredible things you can do. With me, you could do so much more."

"I'm not working with you."

"Oh, I know. That's why I captured your little green friends. Of course, they didn't want to work with me either. Now, tell me, how am I supposed to make friends if you never let me try?"

"Maybe you can start by actually treating people with respect," I spit. I'm getting closer to the door, but she doesn't seem to notice. And if she does, she doesn't stop me.

"You people don't treat me with respect," she says. "So why should I?"

I laugh bitterly. "Real mature, Melinda. You know for a grown woman, you have a very underdeveloped idea of equality."

"And for a pretty young lady like you, you have a really horrible taste in guys," she sneers. She rolls her eyes. "I mean come on. A turtle? How are you supposed to have children?"

"Stay out of my personal life, Melinda!" I exclaim, pointing at her. "I've done nothing to you! Your arrogant attitude is going to take you to hell and back before it gets you anywhere else." By this time, I'm in the doorway.

I'm about to make my escape, when she does something that catches me off guard.

She turns away from me to face the wall.

She knows I'm about to escape. She's letting me escape.

My moment of hesitation costs me.

"Hey, I'll say hi to your little Benjamin then," she says.

I freeze and glare into her back. "Benjamin isn't in Hell," I say bitterly.

"Didn't say he was," she says mischievously. "But I definitely do know where he is."

"Benjamin is dead," I say coldly.

"Is he?" she asks, tilting her head. "Or is that what we wanted you to think?"

My heart feels like it's being revived. Revived from an inner death I didn't even know that had died. The death of the part of me Benj had.

"She's lying, Lexi!" Mom shouts from the hallway. She came back for me. "Don't listen to anything she's saying!"

"Oh but wouldn't you want to see him again?" Melinda asks, finally turning around to face me. "He really misses you a lot."

"Where is he?" I demand. "Tell me where he is!"

"Well I can tell you where he's not," she says, smiling. "He's not in that little grave you dug and put him in last summer."

"Liar!" I spit. "I saw his body, Melinda. I watched him get buried."

"Alexandra," she says slowly. "Where were you when he died?"

I don't reply.

"Did you watch him die?" she asks. "Were you actually there?"

Again, silence.

"I know more than you do, Alexandra," she hisses. "I know things you don't. Things you would die to know. And little Benjamin is dying to tell you."

"Lexi!" Mom is in the room now. "Listen to me! Please listen to me!"

"Shut up!" Melinda shoots a dagger at Mom. Mom dodges it, but barely. Melinda looks back at me and tilts her head. "I thought you knew."

"Knew what?"

"Nobody told you?"

My eyebrows draw together. "Told me what?"

"Benjamin isn't dead. He's very, very much alive." Melinda looks me dead in the eyes as she says this. I almost take a step forward but Mom has grabbed me. I rip my eyes off of the demon in front of me, and turn to Mom instead.

"Lexi," Mom says, with tears in her eyes. "Benjamin is dead. He's gone. He's not being hidden and he's not alive. He's dead." I look at her for a few seconds, searching her eyes. Pain. Hurt. Anger. Regret. Every single dark emotion swimming in her irises and speaking through tears pushing forth. "I'm so sorry."

And as much as I want to believe Melinda—as much as I did—I don't anymore.

Mom drags me out the door, and practically carries me until I've woken to reality again. Once that happens, I run with her.

And Melinda doesn't try to stop us.

It's dark outside, but no darkness is the dark compared to some of the moments in the Torture Chambers. Out here, the stars lead the way. I glance back at the barn. It gives an eerie feeling—much worse than before.

It also seems a lot warmer in the Battle Shell than it did before. Mikey has passed out on one of the seats, and so has Donnie. Leo is lying down on the floor of the vehicle, and looks like he's going in and out of consciousness. I inch towards him, and take a seat next to him. His eyes open when I do this.

"Shh...try to sleep," I whisper to him. I have my back to the wall, and am sitting up. Leo's lying down, and has his head in my lap. I stroke his face and his arm, and try to calm him best I can.

I feel him relax, and eventually drift off into sleep. I follow suit.

When I wake up next, the night looks heavy, but it also appears to be coming to an end. From the window, it seems like there aren't as many stars out, and I realize too that the city is far behind us. I observe that several people are gone: Noah, Nick, Tristan, Agent Serena, April and Casey. They've been replaced with suitcases and duffel bags.

I look up to see that Dad is driving the Battle Shell. I guess it isn't as hard as it seems to be. It's just like a normal car, only with more buttons.

Mom is sitting on the seat above me, stroking my hair. Leo is still asleep in my lap. I hold him closer to me, and close my eyes, letting my mom's gentle touch soothe me.

"Mom," I whisper. "Where are we going?"

"Away."

"Away from what?" I ask.

"Away from everything."

 **A/N: Hey guys, I know this was a really really long chapter & I know I'm only making it even longer by adding an Author's Note. You don't have to read this, it's just my thoughts. I know a lot has happened in this chapter.**

 **The Return of Tristan! To be completely honest, when I introduced him in the very beginning, I didn't think he would ever come back! But while I was brainstorming it just HIT me and I just KNEW that that was the PERFECT way to connect the story to finding the turtles. It's funny how things happen like that.**

 **What did you guys think about what Melinda said about Benjamin? Do you think she was telling the truth? Or do you agree with Emmeline that she was just telling Lexi those things to mess with her head. Regardless, it's an interesting thought. What if Benjamin really isn't dead?**

 **It's just interesting to think about those sorts of things. Though, from what we know about Melinda Crespo, you can't trust her.**

 **As always, thank you for reading my works(: The story is unfortunately going to be coming to a close soon, but I appreciate you sticking with me through this journey!**


	31. Escape

"Mmmmm. Just like the first time," Mikey says, rubbing his hands together and dramatically sniffing his box of Chick-fil-a. "Same spot. Same time of year." He sniffs it again, and throws his head back. "Same beautiful, beautiful smell..."

I laugh, and dip one of my fries into my shake. "And you've been in love ever since."

"Remember when you took me on my first date?" Mikey asks, with a grin. "Chick-fil-a."

Raph snorts and rolls his eyes. "And _only_ date."

I laugh. "Yes. And we laughed pretty much the entire way there."

"You almost died," Mikey says, shaking his head.

"I've almost died a lot of times, Mike," I say. "And now you can join the club."

We've been staying at the Farmhouse for about a week now, and yet the healing process is still at the beginning. All three of the turtles have been out of it, but they're getting better. Sometimes I'll catch them just sitting, staring into blank space, with a vacant look in their eyes. Mikey seems to be doing the best, and even he's still a little out of it. I won't pretend like I don't know the feeling though.

"Hey Emmeline?" Donnie asks. He pushes his empty Chick-fil-a box across the table slightly. "Do you...do you want to know things about the Dark Angels? I mean the stuff that we learned." Anyone would be able to tell that Don is not at all eager about the idea of sharing what had gone on. And Mom can tell.

"It's still really fresh," Mom says softly. "You guys take all the time you need. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"Honestly, I don't think I'll ever want to talk about it," Don says. "So might as well do it now."

"Well, then go ahead. We're all ears," Mom says. She says that last part extra loudly, and when she does so, Raph freezes with his chicken halfway in his mouth. He takes a bite, and then puts it down. Splinter has been sitting on the couch, listening, and Dad is by the counter with his food and Rose.

Mikey lets out a burp, and then waves the air away. "Well, I'll go first." He leans forward and looks at Mom and then averts his eyes to the ground. "As you can tell, we weren't exactly treated like royalty."

"That much was gathered," Rosalie says.

Mikey laughs a half-hearted laugh. "Yeah. First they asked us each to join the Dark Angels. When we all said no on our own, they put us in a cell together and just...tortured us." He looks slightly uncomfortable suddenly.

"You don't have to—"

"I'm fine," he says. "Believe me. I'll keep telling you guys stuff; I'd just prefer not to go into detail about the torture." He leans back and thinks for a few moments. His face lights up. "Hey, something kinda weird happened while I was there. It's about that old guy from the RBMC. Russell Burgess?"

We all lean in to listen, even Leo and Donnie. They look perplexed, which gives me the impression that this is new information.

"They'd taken Donnie and Leo out of the cell, and I was all alone. I was kinda scared if I'm being honest with you. The door opened after a bit, and the old guy walked in. Didn't recognize him at first. He brought me food, and fed me. He was nice – he said he threw in a few things he wasn't supposed to."

"Was it poisoned?" Raph mutters.

"I actually asked that too," Mikey admits. "But nah, it wasn't. He was really nice to me. Talked to me about how he wished he could do something to free us but that it wasn't in his power. But he just...he kept telling me everything was gonna be okay. That you guys would find us." Mikey looks up. "He was the main reason I kept my hope."

Hearing about this flashes back the last memory of mine from Russell, which was in the supply closet at the Torture Chambers. I try to remember his face in that moment, and picture him helping Mikey.

"That was really...kind of him," Mom says quietly. "Very kind of him."

"Yeah." Mikey is quiet. He claps his hands, and then turns to Don. "Okay, my turn is over. You're up Don."

Donnie's eye ridges rise. He lets out a breath, and then glances over at Leo, who looks like he's listening to the conversation, but not exactly engaged. He's there though.

"Besides the constant torture, not a lot happened," Don admits. "Mikey's experience is new information."

"What about that kid related to Sullivan?" Mikey remembers, hitting Donnie on the leg. "Tell 'em about that! That was really, really weird."

"Oh yeah." Donnie rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah, that was strange." He turns back to us, with an odd expression on his face. "While we were in the cell, a kid came in and was just kinda standing there talking to us. He kept bragging about everything. He was also kind of a wallowing garden of self-pity."

"Overconfidence and self-pity?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. "That's dangerous."

"Yeah, he was weird," Donnie mutters. He turns to his brothers. "I'm not being rude, right?"

"Nah, man that kid was something," Mikey laughs, shaking his head. He grins and turns to us, looking very amused. "He kept talking about how the people in the Dark Angels don't like him but that he's really good with girls, and wraps them around his finger. But then said that they always leave after the first night."

"I think that's his fault," Raph snickers. "He ain't doin' something right."

"Okay but why was he telling you guys all this?"

"Said he was bored," Leo mumbles. He closes his eyes, and rubs his temples with his fingers. "He really knew how to brag. Kept talking about how his uncle is Sullivan and that's how he got in the Dark Angels."

"Wait...so this kid is Sullivan's nephew?" I verify. They nod, and I glance over at Mom and Rose. "Wasn't there a Profile Report on someone who was related to Sullivan? It was a long time ago. I'm pretty sure he was his nephew."

Mom nods. "I think his name was Daniel Howe. We've done what research we can on him, but we can't find out all that much."

Leo nods. "His story is that he killed his Mom, right?"

"And framed his father," Mom adds. "Is that true?"

"Nope," Leo says, shaking his head. "He had to have a story to get in to the Angels. He didn't actually kill his Mom, but he said that he did. Since Sullivan is his uncle, he convinced everyone that he did."

"But nobody likes him there?" Dad asks. "Like, at the Dark Angels?"

"According to him, they all hate him but they're really jealous," Mikey says. "And all the girls are all over him, yet they never end up staying." He closes his eyes, and puts his hand on his forehead like Leo had. "Look, this guy has some major identity issues. Let's look past that."

"Basically, he's an sexually-driven, overconfident, self-pitiful eighteen year old boy who pretended to murder his mom so he could join a club," Leo says. "I mean, the kid's uncle is a psychopath. It's in the genes."

"That's definitely information in need of being updated," Mom says. "Thank you so much for opening up. I know it's been difficult on everyone."

"Hey, we owe it to you," Donnie says. "You guys got us out of there."

"We wouldn't have even found the place without help," Rose says, turning towards me and swallowing another fry. "Lex, have you thanked Tristan yet?" Leo's head rises the slightest bit.

"Who's Tristan?" Mikey asks. "And how did he know something that the Headquarters didn't?"

"Um..." I rub the back of my neck. "Well...desperate calls for desperate measures..." I look over at my sister. "We kind of went to the Purple Dragons for help."

"You asked the Purple Dragons for help?" Mikey asks, incredulously. "How did you walk outta there without your brains bashed in?"

"Because Lexi's ex still has a soft spot," Rosalie says. "Believe me, they were ready to pummel us into the ground. But he stopped them. We made a deal with them – a large sum of money, for their silence and for their assistance." Rosalie raises her eyebrows at me. "Tristan just decided to come along and show us the way himself."

"Tristan's that kid you broke up with because he was a Purple Dragon, right? That was a long time ago though, right?"

"Three years ago," I say. "But that's not the point. The point is, ironically, we wouldn't have you as quickly if it weren't for the Purple Dragons."

"Does this mean we're friends with them?" Mikey asks.

"No," I say forcefully. "Not at all. It was a deal: money for help."

"Thank you again for all the info," Mom says. She stands up. "I'll get it to the Headquarters as soon as I can." When she leaves, we all sit there for a few minutes before anyone moves too much. Raph finishes up his burger, but he stays seated.

"I think I'm gonna go to sleep," Leo says. He stands up. He looks at me, and offers a small smile before turning to leave. I know something has been on his mind. I keep telling myself that it's just the after-effects of the torture, but Don and Mikey seem to have recovered pretty well.

"So what kind of extra food did you get served?" Donnie asks, turning to Mikey. "And why wasn't I offered any?"

The turtles get into a conversation about the food there, which I tune in and out of. Honestly, my mind is on Leo right now. I'm worried about him. He looks tired all the time. Maybe he's been having trouble sleeping. I look up to the stairwell he went up.

"Hey guys," I say after about ten minutes, in which Mikey and Donnie are still talking about the food there. "I think I'm gonna head to bed too." I say goodnight to everyone, and head up to my own room. On the way there, I pass Leo's.

I stand there for a few minutes. I want to ask him if he's okay, because he's clearly not. I want to give him a big hug and tell him that everything will be okay, and that he can always talk to me if he needs to.

My hand is hovering right in front of his door, about to knock. Then, his light shuts off.

And my courage shuts off with it.

I walk to my room without knocking on Leo's.


	32. To Be a Hero

**3rd Person:**

Russell Burgess stands with his hands tied behind his back, held tightly by two members of the Dark Angels. Besides these two people, he stands isolated and alone. He hears a door open behind him, and tries to turn his neck, but finds that he struggles to do so.

He hears footsteps behind him. He waits patiently to be spoken to.

"You know, this place is ridden with security cameras," Melinda's voice bites. She steps in front of him. "You're a mad-man...but I didn't know you were that insane."

"Hello, Melinda."

She rolls her eyes. "I've wasted my time on you."

"Melinda, all due respect, those turtles did nothing wrong," he says. "They did nothing to be tortured that way. And it certainly wasn't going to get you anywhere."

She whips her head at me, fire raging in her eyes. "So you let them free? You allowed the intruders to take them away?"

"Yes," he says, holding his head high. "Melinda, I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. My creations were not meant to destroy all these lives. I was simply creating. Exploring."

"You're the monster, Burgess," she sneers. "You took human beings and made them into monstrosities. Remember the Maneuver Men?"

Russell's expression grows defensive. "My creations are made from human beings who volunteer themselves. Yes, it turns them into something they weren't before. But they volunteer for that. Unlike you, I actually give people a choice."

Melinda's face hardens as he says this. She kicks him hard in the stomach, and he crumbles to the ground.

"Giving choice gives away power," she says bitterly. "That's why all your creations have turned against you, old man." She looks over at the door. "Bring them in."

The door opens. Sullivan walks in with a few other Dark Angels. They close the door behind them, and stand a ways away from Russell.

"What's going on?" the old man asks.

Melinda laughs. "Well we can't let your actions go without consequences."

"My actions were good, pure and right," Russell says firmly. "I'll take my consequences because I don't regret what I did."

Sullivan blocks the door, as do the rest of the Dark Angels. Melinda smiles, and pulls out a gun from her jacket.

"But first," she says. "We have one question for you."

"Fire away."

"Who is the other leader of the RBMC?"

"Not a chance."

"You're going to die anyway. Won't you feel better letting that much off your chest? You can't die with a secret still inside you. Who is the other leader of the RBMC?"

Russell doesn't reply.

Melinda sighs. "Any last words?" she asks, placing her hand on the trigger.

Russell's eyes widen the slightest bit, but then he regains his composure.

"I can't fix what I've done. But I have the courage to die admitting that I've wronged," he says. "That's something you'll never do, Melinda."

Her smile turns to anger. Her finger presses down on the trigger.

He drops to the floor.

"Crazy old man," she spits.

 **Still 3rd Person POV** (sorry I know this is way different):

Emmeline closes the door behind her, gently as possible. She keeps her back to it for a few moments, and then looks up to find everyone sitting in the living room. Everyone seems to be doing their own thing, and the mood seems light. She doesn't want to be the one to ruin it, but what she has just learned can't go untold.

"Hey Mom," Rosalie says. "Is everything okay?"

Emmeline swallows, and nods hesitantly. "I just talked to Serena on the phone. Something's happened."

The room grows quiet, and everyone has her eyes on Emmeline.

"The Headquarters have been informed that Dr. Russell Burgess was shot and killed by Melinda," she says quietly.

Dead silence fills the room, besides the surprised gasps from some.

"Why...why would she do that?" Mikey asks. He looks like he's been stung in the chest. It's true that everyone has mixed feelings about the old man. But he directed them to where the turtles were being held. He helped us.

"All we know is that it was a consequence of something he's done recently. That's all."

There is silence once more, until a very shocked Lexi speaks.

"He directed us to the turtles," Lexi says. "We were lost and he showed us the way. He told us exactly where to go." She pauses. "He said that he knows he's done a lot of things wrong in his life, but that he wanted to change. That he got himself into this mess, and even if it results in consequences, he was willing to deal with them."

The silence in the room thickens. After a few moments, Emmeline turns back to the door.

"I have to go," she whispers, opening the door and walking outside into the bitter winter air. Rosalie and Lexi call after her, but she's already closed the door. As soon as she's left, Jaxon has gotten up and headed towards the door.

"Dad," Lexi says, shaking her head. "Maybe it's best to just leave her to think."

"That might be dangerous," he says. "I'll be careful, I promise. I won't say anything too stupid." And without another chance to be questioned, he goes out the door.

Emmeline didn't go far, and Jaxon is really grateful for that. He wasn't really up for chasing her down in the snow and darkness, though he would if he had to. He finds Emmeline standing against the back of the farmhouse, with her eyes closed. A look of distress and frustration has taken over her face.

"Hey," Jaxon says softly. He stops right there though. He doesn't want to ask how she's doing, because it's obvious she's not doing well. He also doesn't want to ask what's wrong, because that might seem too demanding. So he just waits. He just listens.

About five minutes pass by before she speaks, and by then, Jaxon feels like most of his facial features have frozen.

"What do you do when you've gotten yourself into a situation...and you can't get out of it?" She looks at him finally, with tears in her eyes. "You want to just sneak your way out of it, but you can't. You've..." Her eyebrows draw together. "You've just...entangled yourself so much and so deeply into a bad situation that didn't start out all that bad, and suddenly you're...too far in."

Jaxon doesn't reply right away. They both stand there in silence, with nothing besides the sound of the snow crunching when he shifts his weight.

"You start with the decision to try," he says quietly. "Even though you know there will be consequences and you know that it won't be easy, you recognize that you're in a bad spot, and you decide that you want to change." He looks down. "That's what I did, at least."

Emmeline stands there, and bites her lip hard. The tears continue to brim at her eyes, but they won't spill. Finally, she takes a seat on the back patio. She opens her mouth a few times to speak, but no words come out; just the beginning of syllables.

Jaxon sits next to her and waits.

"I made a bad decision," she whispers. "But it didn't start out as a bad decision. I thought I was just...I thought I was helping somebody. Then I got entangled in it and now I'm in a position where I can't get out without hurting a lot of people. I'll be seen as a traitor."

"Emmeline," Jaxon says. "No matter what you've done, you know your family will still love you. Look at me. Somehow you guys still took me back."

Emmeline smiles a sad smile and then closes her eyes again. She takes a deep breath.

"Jaxon, I haven't told anyone this yet," she says. "Please promise you won't make me tell anyone until I'm ready to."

"I promise."

She opens her eyes, and searches his to be sure that he's telling the truth. When she sees nothing but genuineness, she proceeds.

 **Lexi's POV:**

All the turtles have excused themselves to go to bed, and it's just Rosalie and I. We both notice that Mom and Dad haven't returned yet, but neither of us say anything about it.

"Do you wanna watch a movie?" Rose asks.

I tilt my head. "What kind of movie?"

"Old ones." She smiles. "The ones we used to watch when we were kids."

Rose and I have pulled out several different movies, and we plan on getting through all of them, even though we know full well that we won't be able to. She turns on "Sharkboy and Lava Girl", and I head into the kitchen to make us some grilled cheese sandwiches.

"Remember, I only like pepper-jack on my grilled cheese sandwiches," she calls.

I roll my eyes. "Weirdo."

"Hey!" she says defensively. "Pepper-jack cheese is awesome!"

"Cheese isn't supposed to be spicy!" I say, laughing.

"Um have you heard of jalapeno cheese bread from Subway?"

"I don't like jalapenos," I remind her. I turn on the stove, and butter up the pan.

"No wonder you're a pepper-jack critic!" she says, laughing. "Now hurry up, the movie is starting."

I stand in the kitchen, watching the grilled cheese sandwiches and also the movie. The scene where Max meets Sharkboy and Lava girl comes on.

"Lava girl's hair is serious hair goals," I say.

"You mean fiery red? Sounds like Mallory." She laughs when Shark Boy comes on the screen. "I was in love with Shark boy."

"I mean he is played by Taylor Lautner, who is beautiful in every way, shape and form," I say. I finish up the grilled cheese sandwiches and take a seat next to my sister.

For the movie, we sit there and just talk about all the scenes we remember and the nostalgia it brings back. After that movie is over, we watch The Incredibles, which always makes us laugh.

Movie after movie, hour after hour, we sit there reminiscing and laughing together about our tv crushes and how a lot of the scenes in the movies make a lot more sense now that we're older. It's half past midnight when I find myself slowly drifting off into sleep. Rose has already fallen asleep, with a tortilla chip on her shirt, which she was just about to put into her mouth.

The last thing I hear is the sound of one of Kevin's pranks from the movie "Home Alone". I drift off into a peaceful sleep.

 **3rd person POV:**

It's almost three in the morning when Jaxon and Emmeline walk back into the house. They'd forgotten how cold it was outside, until they felt the warmth from inside of the farmhouse. Jaxon closes the door, and hears Emmeline let out a little chuckle. He turns to see what she's looking at: their two daughters, both in pretty uncomfortable looking positions, asleep. The television is on, and Rose is covered in tortilla chips. Lexi fell asleep cradling the salsa in her arms like a baby.

Emmeline pulls out her phone and snaps a picture of it.

"They're either going to demand that you delete that, or they'll laugh," Jaxon says quietly. "Just in case, I recommend waiting thirty years at the most."

Emmeline smiles. "They won't know."

 **A/N: Okay to be completely honest with you, the scene where Dr Burgess is killed actually really breaks my heart. Yes he made some really awful choices but his intentions were ALWAYS pure. And up until the very end, he was trying to make it right. He might've had some really crazy ideas but he was really good at heart.**

 **And hmm...what's Emmeline hiding? Well you guys will definitely find out soon enough, if you haven't guessed already. Everyone's got secrets, it seems.**


	33. Healing

"I miss you too, Mal."

"How long do you think you'll be staying there for?" If I close my eyes, I can pretend that Mallory is right there next to me, rather than on the other end of the phone.

"I don't know," I say quietly. "That's up to my Mom, I guess."

"How're the turtles holding up?" she asks. "Are they healing?"

"They are," I say. "I mean, we've been here for a couple of weeks, so most of their physical injuries are healed. Mikey's got a pretty deep wound still on his face from when Melinda cut him. I think it's beginning to scar."

Mallory scoffs. "The nerve of that lady..." she mutters. "Mikey is the sweetest. He doesn't deserve that crap."

"None of them did," I say. I lay on my bed, on my stomach. "But that's what they got. And it's—"

"Not your fault," Mallory finishes. "Don't even try to tell me otherwise."

"You didn't know what I was going to say."

"Believe me, I know that self-deprecating tone of yours," she retorts. "Lex, you had no idea they'd be kidnapped. And you can't say it's your fault just because there are a bunch of people after you. Because it's their choice to stay. They stay because they want to."

"There are a lot of risks to staying, Mallory," I say slowly. I look out the dark window, staring so hard I begin to see things. I close the curtains.

"And those are risks the turtles are willing to take," she laughs. "Hey, I'm staying with you all the way through and you never complain."

I laugh. "That's because I _can't_ get rid of you. You're like gorilla glue."

"And the turtles are going to be the same way," she concludes. "Even if it results in them getting kidnapped."

"I really hope that this was the first and last time that happens," I say, shaking my head to myself. "So how are things? How's school going? And Noah?"

"Noah practically _is_ the school," she says laughing. "I swear, he's got all the professors to be his best friends. He even goes out to lunch with some of them."

I roll my eyes. "Teacher's pet. Never changes. I seriously can't wait to get everyone back together. I think Donnie is experiencing Noah withdrawals."

"Those two are practically the same person," Mallory says. She sounds amused. "Don should use that human machine they worked so hard on and meet some of Noah's professors and smart friends."

"Oh," I say closing my eyes. "Donnie would seriously love that. And it would really put that machine to good use." I hear Mikey call my name from downstairs. "Hey Mal, sorry I gotta go. Mike's calling."

"Tell everyone lots of love from Mallory."

"Do you even have the capacity to offer large quantities of love?"

"Maybe I don't miss you."

I laugh. "Talk to you later, Mal."

When I hang up, Mikey calls my name again.

"I'm coming!" I shout. "I'm coming!" When I come down the stairs, I find Mikey with his video game controllers. "What do you need?"

His eyes widen, and he juts his lower lip out. "Will my favorite girl in the whole wide world please play video games with me?"

"Hm..." I tease, rubbing my chin. "What's in it for me?"

"Well, you get to play video games with me. That's a chance of a lifetime!"

I laugh and take the controller. "It's not a chance of a life-time when I get offered it every single day."

It doesn't take too long for me to get invested in the game with Mikey. At one point, we're both practically on our feet in anticipation. A bolt of adrenaline fires through me as a kill his character, which is a zombie. Mikey's face falls.

"Ohh," I say, grinning. "Did you want me to go easy on you?"

He glares at me. "I was going easy on _you_. New game." In this game, he's in the lead, almost winning, but I manage to beat him again.

"Just admit it, Mikey. You've lost your perfect video gaming ability."

"No," he says stubbornly. "New game." He narrows his eyes at my controller, and takes it, giving me his. "Maybe it's the controller."

I laugh and roll my eyes. "Or maybe it's me."

We all talk until about ten or eleven at night. By then, Mikey's eyes are slowly beginning to droop, and Donnie's won a few chess games against Rose, so he feels like he can let himself sleep too. I say goodnight to everyone, and head out of the room. I hear a thump on the floor. I look back and see Mikey, lying on his stomach.

"Aren't you gonna go to your room?" I ask.

"I'm too tired," he complains. "Carry me."

I give a short laugh. "Mikey, I can barely carry my purse around with me without collapsing. You'd crush me."

"Are you calling me fat?" he asks, his voice muffled against the rug.

"I'm calling you a giant turtle whose back could break my back in a matter of minutes," I correct, laughing. I make eye contact with my sister. "Ask Rose to carry you."

"Rose—"

"Ask Donnie."

"Donnie..." Mikey groans. He flops over onto his back and groans again. He holds out his arms to his older brother. "Please..."

Donnie looks at him for a long minute, and then rolls his eyes. He picks up Mikey, throws him over his back and shakes his head to himself. "You're like a baby."

I stay in my room for a while before I actually get ready for bed. I read, write, watch some Youtube. I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. But as I'm leaving the bathroom, I hear something.

Shouting. Struggling. Coming from Leo's room.

My heart starts beating a thousand beats a minute. I rush into his room, and find him struggling in his bed. His eyes are squeezed tightly, and he looks like he's under a lot of distress.

He's asleep.

"Leo," I say, coming closer to him. He moves back and forth in his bed, and his eyes squeeze tighter and tighter. "Leo." I finally reach him, and take a seat on his bed. I put my hands on his shoulders and try to wake him up. "Leo. Leo, wake up." I give him a few shakes, and his eyes fly open. His breathing is rapid, and tears are streaming down his face.

"Please...don't..." he mumbles, blinking a few times. He realizes all of the sudden that he isn't dreaming anymore, and the moment he sees me, his arms are thrown over me. I'm taken off guard at first, but immediately put my own arms around him.

"You're here..." he mumbles. "You're here..."

"Yes," I whisper. "I'm here. You were dreaming. It was just a dream, okay?"

He hugs me for a few more moments, and then slowly pulls away. He looks into my eyes with hurt and pain in his own. And fear.

"I usually wake up alone," he mumbles.

"Have you been having nightmares this whole time we've been here?"

"Before then," he says quietly. He's still trying to steady his breathing. "With the Dark Angels...that's when it started. I've been trying to control them. Trying to convince myself that they're just dreams."

"They _are_ just dreams," I say, stroking his face softly. "Leo, they're just bad dreams. It's okay. We're safe. We're far away from any of that stuff." I pause. "Do you want to talk about the dream you had?"

He immediately shakes his head. "No...not tonight. Not right now. I just..." He closes his eyes, and shakes his head. "I just want you to stay." He looks up at me like he's embarrassed to ask me this. He's used to being the one that others come to during their fears.

"Of course," I whisper. "I'll stay."

"Thank you..." his voice sounds broken and afraid and grateful.

I stay by his side for the rest of the night, stroking his arm gently to calm him down. I get really cold, so I get under the blankets. The blankets and also Leo's body heat keeps me warm. I hear his breathing steady, and wonder if he's still awake. I continue to stroke his arm until his breathing sounds like he's asleep. I tuck my arm under the blankets, and just lie there for a few minutes. For some reason, I can't fall asleep.

It's probably been about ten or fifteen minutes of lying there silently, only listening to Leo's breathing, when I suddenly feel arms wrap around me.

"Lexi..." he says, so quietly I can barely hear him. I hold my breath and listen to him. "I love you so much." These words bring warmth to my heart; warmth I'd forgotten existed. Warmth which brings back so many memories of better times.

"I love you too, Leo," I say quietly.

He brings me closer to him, but then stops. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" he asks. "Please tell me if I'm making you uncomfortable."

"No, Leo," I say. "You're not. I promise."

"Are you sure?"

"I am," I respond. I feel him relax, and continue to bring me closer to him.

"Lexi, I need you right now." His voice sounds weak.

"You have me."

He opens his eyes. "Do I though?"

I think long and hard about what my next words should be. What's logic and what's emotion? Will they work together in this instance? Will they be the same, or are they polar opposites?

"You do," I say firmly. "I'm yours."

I give him a soft kiss on the head as he's drifting off to sleep. He tightens his arms around me, and I finally feel like I've done something right.

 **A/N: Hey yes yes YES Leo & Lexi are officially back together(: I know it was a long, difficult road but I felt like this was perfect. Love does not come easily! There are many things that factor into it, and in spite of all of it, Lexinardo won in the end. It doesn't always happen that way, but it did for them(: man, I want a guy like Leo. One who will wait for you. One who just feels right. **

**But PLEASE don't stop reading - it's almost the end! I swear, I know this story feels like it has gone on FOREVER (and it really has) but I promise the ending will be totally worth it.**


	34. Porcelain

Nostalgia is a broad term. It can be a smell, or a sound. It can be the feeling of familiarity when you walk into a certain place. It can show itself through words or through the feeling you get when you close your eyes.

For me, right now, it's the smell of gingerbread and pine trees. It's the slight chill to the air when I walk in to the front room. It's the glow of the lights strung around the Christmas tree. It's shown through the prickly feeling of the holly that dances around the house. It's the crunch of the snow that's made every time someone walks in and out of the house.

There are a couple of people missing, but they're here in spirit. And there is one person who has been added, after being absent for a very long time. We all sit around the fireplace, holding mugs filled with steaming hot chocolate. Dad has been coming in and out of the house to bring in more firewood, so there's a nice constant chill in the air to keep us all from melting. Rose and I baked gingerbread cookies earlier, and they're currently sitting on the countertop, cooling.

"Here we are again," Donnie says, laughing. "Year two."

Rose snickers. "Can you believe it's been a year since you guys saved Lexi's butt?" She looks beautiful, as always, in her white sweater and big hoop earrings. Her hair is down and flowing. It's gotten a lot longer over the last year, and instead of cutting it like usual, she's decided to grow it out. She looks a lot happier than she did before.

"My butt didn't need any saving!" I defend.

"Your butt needed lots of saving," Mom says, chuckling.

I roll my eyes. "Okay, okay, I owe them all my possessions." I shake my head. "If I die, they'll be on the top ten people on my will."

"Ooh can I have your video games?" Mikey asks eagerly. "You hardly even play them!"

"Mikey, we're hoping Lexi doesn't die any time soon," Don says. "But Lexi, if you do die, can I have that quote book I got you last Christmas?" I scoff, and throw a pillow at him. He dodges it, but let's a smile crack. "What? To remember you by!"

"This girl isn't going to be dying any time soon," Leo says. He puts his arm around me and pulls me close to him. "But if she does, I'm going to get all her books." I scoff and try to pull away, but he smiles and pulls my closer. Gosh, that smile kills me. "Hey, I'm kidding, love. Come here."

"Are those gingerbread cookies done cooling?" Mikey asks.

"I'm pretty sure they are," Rose says. She picks one up and bites into it. "Yeah, they're definitely done. And not to brag, but Lexi and I did a pretty good job making them."

"I'll be the judge of that." Mikey hops over the couch and takes one of the cookies. After a few bites, he pauses. His eyes widen and he lunges at the entire tray. "More!"

"You haven't even finished the first one!" Rose exclaims. She serves as a barrier between the tray of cookies and Mikey.

Mikey shoves the entire cookie into his mouth, and muffles a, "Done. Can I have more?"

We all sit there together for a long time. We laugh. We listen to Christmas music. Rose and I sing dramatically to it. We eat all the gingerbread cookies. We talk about how difficult it was to get the Christmas tree, because Dad was the only one who had ever chopped down a Christmas tree before. Several of the turtles almost got crushed in the process because they can't understand the phrase, "Get out of the way."

After a few hours, everyone begins to get sleepy. We share goodnight hugs and Merry Christmas Eves, and everyone departs to their rooms. All except for me, Mikey and Leo. I get up to go rinse out my mug, along with some of the ones that were left behind. Leo gathers all the blankets that cover the ground, and puts them onto the couch. Mikey stares at us with anticipation, but neither of us notice for a few minutes.

"What?" I ask.

Mikey leans his hands on the couch, and grins at us. "Are you guys gonna have a Christmas Eve makeout session?"

Leo rolls his eyes. "Goodnight, Mikey."

Mikey groans. "Come on. You gotta share another mistletoe kiss again. Remember that?"

"How could I forget?" Leo mutters. "Somehow, by the next morning, you'd announced it to everyone."

"I was hanging from the ceiling."

"I never got over how creepy that was," Leo says, shaking his head. "How did you stay up there?"

"I was glued with the power of love."

"Very funny. Maybe instead of counting sheep tonight, you can tell yourself jokes."

"I'm cold, Leo," Mikey says over-dramatically. "Warm me with your smile and your blanket-like hugs."

Leo shoves a blanket into his hand.

"Oh!" Mikey exclaims, closing his eyes and pressing the fabric to his face. "It feels just like my heart did when we first met! I knew it was love at first sight! I knew you were the one!"

Leo rolls his eyes. "Goodnight, little brother."

Mikey snickers and takes the blanket upstairs with him.

I laugh, and place the mugs on the table to dry. I go to turn off the music in the living room, but I'm suddenly enveloped in a warm blanket. I laugh when Leo sweeps me off my feet and places me on the couch.

"Leave the music on," he says. "Like last time, remember?"

I laugh. "Oh yeah. The same night I did this." I pull him in for a kiss, but then stop right before our lips meet. I grin and pull away teasingly.

His face drops. "That's not how I remember it. You actually kissed me."

"And you didn't kiss back!"

"I can make up for that," he says softly. He pulls me close and our lips meet. It's one of my favorite feelings in the entire world. I slide my arms tightly around him and close my eyes, taking in the moment. Even when we've pulled away, I still have my eyes closed. So I don't see him when he pulls me in for another kiss, but I welcome it fully.

We sit there close to one another for a long time, laughing quietly and kissing. After a while, his face changes and he looks like he's thinking about something. Something deep.

"Hey," I whisper. "What's on your mind?"

"I don't want to ruin this happy time."

"It's okay," I say. "I'm always happy with you."

Leo thinks for a few more moments, and then proceeds. "I have something to tell you. It relates to something that happened at the Torture Chamber, and it also connects to my nightmares."

Ever since that night when I discovered Leo was having nightmares, we've been almost inseparable. He's told me about them a few times, and many of them are about me, and a lot of them are about Benjamin. There are some about his brothers too. None of them are solely about him. In them, there is always someone he loves who is in danger. And he can never do anything about it.

"Okay. I'm all ears."

Leo looks down for a few moments. I take his hand, and gently stroke it. He seems to relax a bit at this.

"The nightmares didn't start all of the sudden. There was something that caused them. Something specific. One of the days I was there, I was brought into another room and tortured by Melinda. But Lexi..." He swallows. "It wasn't just physical torture. She was torturing my brain. My mind. I would use the term brainwashing as loosely as possible because it didn't do the job, but I guess my sub-conscience is pretty brainwashed."

"She said some messed up things. Deep detail about all the things they'd done to you. Then she started talking about how you were dead. She said they'd killed you. That they'd found you and that since I wasn't giving in to their desires, they'd decided they'd just kill you." He squeezes his eyes shut. "I told myself she was lying. They had to be. You were alive, and you were going to be coming to get us. That's what I told myself."

"But she didn't stop. She kept telling me all the horrible things they did to you before you died. Then, she said that they would do those things to Rose too. Until my brothers and I gave in, they would kill everyone we loved one by one." Leo is shaking as he's telling me. I can almost hear his heart racing.

"Then, Lexi..." Leo opens his eyes. "She told me Benj was alive."

My heart stops, just like it when she told me that too.

"She told me that he was still alive and that I was the only one who knew that now. She said that they wouldn't keep him alive for much longer unless I gave in."

"Did you?"

"No," Leo says. "But as a result to that, it was taken out in my dreams. I started having dreams of you. Dark dreams where you were being tortured and hurt, and I couldn't do anything. Then I had a few..." He swallows. "I had a few where Benj was locked in a cold, dark room, all alone. Away from everything and everyone. In my dream, that's where he'd been all this time. They'd been keeping him alive for all this time, but barely."

"I even had one dream where..." He doesn't finish.

"One dream where what?"

"One dream...one dream where Benjamin was turned into a Maneuver Man."

"Oh."

"I told you...my mind got more and more messed up by each passing moment. The dreams got darker and more detailed. I would wake up, screaming and crying in the middle of the night. I always had Donnie and Mikey to be there and tell me it was okay. I usually told them about my dreams, and it seemed to help."

"You can always tell me about them too."

"I want to," he says. "And I try to. It's just I know that some of them would be...hard..."

"They're just dreams. They're just bad dreams." I cup his face with my hand. "I'm okay. Rose is okay. My family is okay and your family is okay." I pause. "And Benj is okay too."

Leo closes his eyes softly, and just feels my hand against his face. After a few moments, he opens his eyes and stands up.

He holds out his hand. "Will you dance with me?"

I stare at his hand for a moment, and then find myself staring into his deep hazel eyes again. I smile, and nod my head.

"Remember when I told you your eyes looked like chocolate?" I ask, as we sway back and forth.

Leo chuckles. "How could I forget? I hadn't gotten a compliment like that in my entire life." He grins. "Remember when you woke me up before sunrise just to video tape me?"

"My punishment was a snowball fight."

"Which really wasn't much of a punishment? You seemed like you were enjoying it a lot," Leo says, laughing. "What I should've done was taken the camera away from you."

"Remember the ride down here?"

"You and Rose wouldn't stop singing One Direction!" he laughs. "And you watched Rise of the Guardians for like the fifth time that week."

"It's a good movie!"

"I know it is!" Leo says. "It has to be if you were willing to watch it five times in the same week!"

"It's so weird that we had known each other for like two weeks, and suddenly we were buying Christmas presents for each other, and going to an isolated Farmhouse together. For all we knew, you could've been psychopathic maniacs."

Leo snickers. "Yeah – psychopathic maniacs who saved your life."

I laugh, but don't say anything back. We continue to sway back and forth. One of the Christmas songs ends and one of my favorite songs comes on. It's "Porcelain" by Marianas Trench.

I don't speak for a long time. The smile has faded from my face.

"What's on your mind?" Leo asks me.

"Things have changed. A lot."

"I know they have," Leo says. "I know."

"Like..." I close my eyes and shake my head to myself. "Leo...life was so...happy back then. Not that I'm not happy now, but...it's...hard. I have so much more to worry about now. Back then, everything was carefree. Back then, we were coming to the Farmhouse for fun. To relax and spend the holidays. Now, we're here to escape people who are trying to kill us." I suddenly feel emotion run over me, and it hits me like a wave. "Last time we were here, Benj was very much alive."

"Hey," Leo whispers. "He's still alive in spirit."

"I know." I feel a tear drop down my cheek. "I know he's alive in spirit. But you know what I mean."

"Yeah," he says. "I do."

"I can't text him. I can't call him on the phone. I can't pick him up from football practice. I can't wear our matching jerseys on..." I let out a soft cry. "...on Christmas morning." Leo brings me closer to him, but we continue to dance. "I can't laugh with him and he can't tease me anymore about things. I can't watch Animal Planet with him and I can't go into his room and listening to music with him." I let out another small sob. "Gosh, I never thought I'd miss him breaking up arguments between me and Rose."

Leo takes one hand off my waist, and wipes my tears away, but they continue to pour through my eyes and down my cheeks.

"Last year, I was chasing him down in this very place, because he read my journal, in which I talked about my feelings for you. In this very place, I locked him in a closet and threatened to break his bones," I let out a laugh, as more tears stream down my face. "I threatened to break his bones if he ever told you."

"He kept his promise," Leo says. "He never told me."

I let out a sob. "He always kept his promises." I bury my head into Leo's shoulder, and let my tears fall down his plastron. He lets them.

"I know he's still here, Leo," I say. "But sometimes, I want him _here_. And when Melinda says those things about him being alive, it puts a hope inside me that I didn't even know was possible to have anymore." I shake my head. "It's so sick of her. So cruel."

I cry for a long time. My face becomes numb, and I eventually can't dance anymore. I take a seat on the floor, in a crumbled heap of tears. Leo immediately drops to the floor with me, and instantly has me in his arms. He puts a blanket around me, and brings me close to him. I close my eyes, and try to steady my breathing.

"I can't even begin to imagine how much you miss Benj," Leo says quietly. "He was your brother. You two were so close. So close." He pauses, and strokes my cheek softly. "Lexi, you possess a strength that not many people are able to have. You've been so strong. But remember that it's okay to be sad. It's okay to miss him. And it's okay to cry as long as you need to."

"But he's gone," I choke out. "What good does crying do?"

"It keeps you from keeping it all on the inside. I've seen what happens when people do that. I've done it. You've done it. We've all done it. It's best to let it all out, even if it comes with an ocean of tears. Because letting that ocean of tears flow is much better than letting it build up inside of you. You can't carry an entire ocean inside of you."

That gets a teary-eyed laugh out of me. "Stop being so poetic." I shake my head. "Leo, everything has just changed so much."

"Let's pretend it's all the same."

"It's not though."

"Let's pretend." I look down, and he lifts my chin up. "Hey. Let's just be here together. Like a movie, remember?"

I dive into his eyes when he says this, and then take his face into my hands. I press our lips together. Unlike a year ago, he shows no hesitation in returning the kiss. He strokes my back gently. I press into the kiss, and never want to let go. His soft touch calms me and my tears have stopped completely. I try to direct all my worries and all my fears into this kiss. This moment with Leo. The one who is staying up late on Christmas Eve to let my snot and tears get all over him.

"I guess Mikey was right," Leo mumbles. That's all he says, and I immediately know what he's talking about.

I smile into a kiss. "I guess he was."

The night goes on but it doesn't feel like it does. I'm on an island. In the middle of the carpeted living room floor, Leo and I are on an island, away from all my worries and tears, and his nightmares and fears. I feel closer to Leo than I ever have before. Each kiss we share takes me into another reason why everything is going to be okay. The passion released ceases all my worries.

And Leo was right. It's just like a movie.

 **A/N: Okay, to be completely honest, this was my favorite chapter I've written in a while. Even though it all took place in the same setting, I liked all the scenes. I didn't really feel like any of them were "filler scenes".**

 **By the way, during that whole scene where Lexi is crying, I recommend listening to the song, "Porcelain" by Marianas Trench. The moment I heard it the other day, I was like, "That's it: I'm using that song in the chapter where Lexi and Leo dance on Christmas Eve." (yes, big surprise, I actually had a clue what I was going to do for once).**

 **I really like the parallels from earlier in the story. Obviously, things are much different than they were the first time at the Farmhouse. The first time, things were definitely lighter and happier. More carefree. It's insane how much can change in a year. And honestly, I'd be lying if I said I didn't start tearing up when I wrote about Lexi reminiscing all the things with Benj and all that's changed. Because writing the times where they were at the Farmhouse for their last Holiday was one of my favorite times. That was all at the beginning of the story. So again, it's symbolic: things have changed so much but they end up in the same place at the end that they were in the beginning.**

 **Honestly, I have so many mixed feelings about ending this story. I'm sad but I'm also excited. It's very bittersweet.**


	35. To Friends Who Betray

Snow has a particular glow at night. It's a visible glow, but it's also a feeling. The entire world seems to lighten, and peace strikes every snowflake. Snow at night makes it seem like the world is standing still. And for me, that's exactly what I need right now.

I can't feel my toes, but I don't care.

Blankets are piled up, and Leo and I lie on them, looking up at the sky. It's like we're having a picnic and looking at the clouds, only we're star-gazing instead. I've tried to count the stars several times tonight but I always get distracted or lose track. Leo laughs every time.

"Stop trying," he says.

I point at the sky. "Isn't that the little dipper?"

"It's the big dipper," he corrects. He shifts my gaze to a constellation nearby. "That's the little dipper."

"Is that the North Star?" I ask.

"Not even close." Leo grins, and has to turn his head almost all the way around and points. "That's the North Star."

I hold my hands up in defense. "Okay, sorry Galileo."

He grins, and puts his arm around me, pulling my closer to him.

"How do you know so much about stars?" I ask.

"Besides reading?" He sighs. "When we were younger, probably about thirteen or so, we used to go top-side, not for patrol, but to train. We weren't supposed to get involved with any crime, because, well, we were young. But while we were up there, Donnie would tell us about the stars. It was pretty hard to see them with the city lights and everything, but he'd talk and talk about how you can find certain stars."

I laugh. "Even at age thirteen, Donnie was full of knowledge."

"Yeah, he's always been a walking encyclopedia." He pauses, and turns to face me. "But when we first met April and Casey and we came to the Farmhouse for the first time, that's when I saw the stars clearly. It was during the summer. One of the nights, we were outside looking at the stars, and Donnie showed us the stars he was always talking about it." Leo laughs. "At that point, it wasn't just a bucket of words anymore. We could actually see the stars."

"Looking at the stars always makes me feel small. It makes it seem like all our actions and everything we do is smaller than we make it out to be."

Before I finish talking, there's a knock on the door behind us. I look back and see that Mom is standing there. She opens the door a bit, and smiles. But there's that look in here eyes again. The look I used to see during the time where she wasn't really herself.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," she says. "But there are some things we're all going to discuss right now. I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Leo says. He stands up, and holds out a hand to help me up too. I'm slightly disappointed that our stargazing date had to end so early, but I don't say anything about it. I just take Leo's hand.

When we come inside, I'm surprised to see that everybody is sitting in the living room. I look back at Mom. She's found her way securely over to Dad, and stands there looking at the ground. I've noticed they've been talking more. I'm happy to see that, but I always wonder what they're talking about.

Mom is quiet for a while. She looks like she's trying to gather her thoughts, but she's trying to do it quickly because she knows that everyone is here waiting.

"I don't really know how to say this," she says. "I don't know how to start or begin or really what to say. But I know I need to do it now or else I'll never do it." She pauses. "I can't keep quiet forever."

Nobody speaks, and everyone's eyes are on her. She keeps her eyes to the ground for a long moment, until eventually her eyes raise.

"A while ago..." She closes her eyes tightly and takes in a deep breath. "A while ago, I got involved with something. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to at all. But after getting involved, I couldn't get myself out of it." She opens her eyes. "I was stuck. And I tried to do all I could to avoid admitting to myself or to anyone that I was stuck."

"A while back, I got involved with the RBMC."

You could hear a pin drop in the room. She hurries and tries to continue, while I, along with everyone else stand in complete shock.

"I didn't know at the time what it was. I had a friend who was part of the RBMC, and they needed a favor. I swear, if I knew what it was going to mean, I never would have helped him."

"What was the favor?" Donnie is the only one willing to speak right now. His voice is even, but sounds a little strained.

"He..." She pauses and closes her eyes again. "He wanted to get into the Headquarters. He needed to take a look at the cure we were working on, for the Epidemic. The RBMC were the ones who stole Gavin's chemical in the first place, but I didn't know that at the time. I just thought he needed to look at it because he said that he knew more that they could add to it and—"

"You brought somebody into the headquarters without Serena's permission?" I exclaim. "Someone from the RBMC?"

"I had no idea what the RBMC actually did. I didn't know they mutated people. I didn't know they stole the chemical. I didn't—"

"You still violated a rule," I exclaim. "A major violation to the trust the Headquarters has given you!" I shake my head in disbelief. "The trust the Headquarters has given our family!"

"Lexi, let her finish," Dad says. "Please."

"I didn't know he was going to steal the cure," Mom says quietly. "I had no intentions of letting—"

"You knew who stole the cure?" I exclaim. "And you didn't tell us?"

"I couldn't! You don't understand—"

"We were so close!" I cry. "So close to saving all those people, Mom!"

"I didn't know what to do, Lexi!" Mom cries. "I didn't know what to do. All because I associated with one person I shouldn't have, I was suddenly involved with an organization that I wanted no part of. I had to go along with it or else my family would be dragged into it. They suddenly had me set as the second in command. I tried so hard to get out of it, but I was too deep in. All I knew was I couldn't put my family in danger because of it."

"Well you failed at that. Benjamin is dead because of you and your little army," I spit.

She's struck silent. Her face falls.

I can't look at her.

I turn on my heel and take off out the door. I almost trip over the blankets on the back porch, but I keep on running. I run through the darkness, and can feel the snow seeping into my shoes. But I don't care. It's better to feel bitter in my feet than in my heart.

My feet have taken me to the lake by the Farmhouse. I stand there for a while, and then I sit right next to it. I don't care that I'm sitting on snow. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut and try to organize all my thoughts and all my emotions. I'm angry. Why am I angry? Because Mom has been lying to us this entire time. I'm hurt. Why am I hurt? Because she was involved with the people who killed Benj, and who turned me over to the turtles.

And I'm confused. Why am I confused? Because I don't understand how she could do this.

I haven't been sitting here very long before I hear somebody plop down next to me. I don't look up to see who it is, and I don't speak first. I'm still slightly out of breath, and I don't feel like talking to anyone at all right now.

I feel like never going back.

"Remember when Mikey and Benj made a bet that whoever got to the lake first had to jump in it that night?"

It's Rose.

I don't say anything. I just nod.

"They clicked immediately," Rose continues. "They both lived for the thrill and adventure of everything. It was probably nice for Mikey to have him around, since his brothers weren't as energetic as he was."

I search my mind for all the times Mikey and Benj were together. Even though it was Benj and Leo who shared a room together, it did seem like the orange-clad turtle and my brother were closer.

"He always had a video game buddy." My voice still sounds bitter, even though I'm not bitter about the subject.

"They were so loud," Rose says laughing. "Whenever we went to the lair, they'd scream at the top of their lungs." Her laughter dies down. "Mikey was heartbroken when Benjamin passed away."

I try to think back to Benj's funeral and remember what Mikey was like, when I realize that I hadn't really spoken to anyone at the funeral. I accepted hugs and the occasional, "I'm so sorry for your loss." But I was too in my own world to realize that the turtles were hurt from Benj's passing too.

"He was?" I ask, turning slightly towards her.

"Yeah," she says. "He was their friend too. He brought a joy to them that no one can replace. A young joy." She looks at me. "Carefree."

I hold her gaze for a few moments, and then turn away. I face the dark, bitter ice lying atop the lake once more. Doing this ignites the bitterness in my heart again.

Benj is dead because of something Mom knew about.

"I can't believe she let him die," I say bitterly. "She knew."

"You don't know that," Rose says. "You didn't even ask."

"I didn't need to," I shoot. "She could've stopped it."

Rose is quiet for a few moments. "Lexi, she texted you, right? And told you to make sure you stay in the apartment?"

I don't reply.

"She thought that you and Benj were still in the apartment," Rose goes on. "If she knew that you weren't even in the apartment, I think she would've done more."

"She got involved with a dangerous group," I say. "Whether she knew it or not, she put our family in danger. She betrayed us. She got in too deep all because of a stupid decision. So what, she didn't know? It happened."

Rose's response doesn't miss a beat. "Same thing happened with Dad. And you let him back in right away."

"At least Dad didn't try to pretend to be somebody he wasn't," I remind her. "Mom was there with us side by side, everyday, pretending like nothing was wrong." I groan and fall back into the snow. "Imagine all that could've been changed! Benj might still be alive. I never would've gotten kidnapped. We wouldn't even know about Russell Burgess and I wouldn't feel this boatload of guilt that he was killed for saving our lives!"

"She's trying to fix this, Lexi," Rose says softly. "There's no easy way to fix it. But she's trying." She pauses, and shakes her head. "Believe me, I didn't see this coming either. I was angry too. I'd be lying if I told you I didn't feel betrayed." She takes a breath and puts her hand on my arm. "But when you left, she just...she just broke down into tears. I haven't seen Mom cry that hard since Benj died."

I feel tears building up behind my own face, but I feel too numb to let them flow.

"Lex," she says firmly. "I know you're angry. And I know you have a right to be. But just because you have a right to be angry, it doesn't mean it's right to be angry. Do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah," I say quietly. "I guess."

Neither of us speaks for a while. I look up at the stars. It's hard to believe they are the same stars I was just looking at with Leo thirty minutes ago. I feel so much smaller than I did before.

"Remember when we were little and you and I would fight?" She laughs half-heartedly. "The biggest, stupidest fights. We'd get so angry at each other."

"Yeah. I remember."

"Benj would always step in between and try to fix it. It was always both of our faults. I'd take your favorite dress without telling you, so you'd take my favorite shoes. We were always both to blame. And he'd try to solve it the best to his abilities."

My face is filled with warm tears that make my face feel even number.

"He never liked when we fought," I whisper. My eyes squeeze shut, and more tears pile out.

"He still doesn't," Rose says softly. "Look, I'm not condoning what Mom has done. And we both know there will be consequences for it. We can both feel as betrayed as we want, but at the end of the day, we need to recognize that today could be another day of her hiding it from us. But it's not. She didn't want to, and didn't know how to, but she told us anyway. Because she wants to try to make things right."

"You don't have to forgive her right away," Rose says. "Just recognize that it's worth forgiving."

My sister and I sit outside for a long time. There are moments of silence, and there are moments where we talk. It's when I can't feel my toes anymore that we both decide to go back inside.

The walk to the farmhouse is silent.

And the farmhouse itself is silent besides Mom's crying.

Rosalie and I walk in and find Mom crying, and Dad sitting there, listening. He's like a shield.

When Rose and I close the door, Mom holds her breath and looks up slowly. When she sees me, more tears spill out her eyes. My first instinct is to turn and run out again. But instead, I just look at her.

After a moment of hesitation, I come forward. I don't say anything; I just put my arms around her. And suddenly, like magic, I can feel all her regret and all her sorrow and all her pain flood right through me. Rose puts her arms around me, and Dad holds onto three of us tightly.

We all sit there hugging, and crying until all is still once more.

The ball drops on the tv and everyone erupts into cheers and "Happy New Years". Mikey has had his army of pots and pans ready, and as soon as midnight strikes, he goes outside, carrying as many as he can, hitting them against each other and screaming at the top of his lungs.

Dad smiles, and holds up his hot chocolate. He looks at Mom, my sister and I. "To new beginnings."

Rose smiles, and raises her hot chocolate too. "To starting over."

My eyes meet Mom's, and after a few moments, I raise my mug as well. With my other hand, I reach over and take hers. "To making things right."


	36. Battle

When we leave the Farmhouse, we're leaving behind our place of sanctuary – our place of safety. The snow crunches beneath the wheels of the car as we pull out of the side of the house. The sun is at the bottom of the sky, wedged between the mountains and hills. It's an ombre view. It's dawn.

The ride back home is mostly quiet. Most of what was needed to be discussed has been.

So for now, we don't speak. We let the silence say all that it needs to say; and right now, it doesn't have anything to say. So for the few hours it takes to get home, Rose and I both fade in and out of sleep. I overhear Dad telling Mom she should try to get some sleep a few times, but I'm not sure if she ever does.

When we get home, it's still morning, but the sun has risen higher. In New York, the city never sleeps, and this is no special occasion. Cars are frantic, and horns dance around the city. There are angry shouts coming from drivers, and signs with graffiti on every corner.

This is all so normal to me, but I don't feel the same. I feel different. I feel a new sense of determination; a new sense of renewal. It's like taking an emotional shower.

The apartment smells the same and looks the same, but it feels different.

Even though it's light outside, I fall asleep as soon as I get home.

Later that day, I find myself walking through the summer-heat of the sewers. When I walk into the lair, I find the turtles all in the front room together. Mikey is playing video games, Raph is passed out on the couch, Donnie is working on one of his inventions, and Leo is sitting on the couch with Mikey.

"There's a zombie cheat there," Leo advises. "Click on the lightbulb on the lamp-post."

Mikey does so, and grins when he collects a bomb. "Thanks, Leo!"

Leo smiles and nods. When he looks over and sees me, he holds out his arms. I grin and drop my bag, breaking towards him. I jump into his arms, and he laughs, holding me tightly.

"Hey love," he says, giving me a kiss. "How are you doing? Did you get some sleep?"

"I did," I say. "Did you?"

"Some," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "Once we got home, I couldn't really sleep much."

"Hey Lex," Mikey says, not taking his eyes off his game. "Did you know about the lamp cheat on this game?"

"Yeah," I say. "Did you know about the business man one?"

"No!" He pauses his game. "What is it?"

"When you see a business man, click his briefcase. It'll give you whatever's in his briefcase. Usually it isn't bad either," I explain. I snuggle into Leo's chest and hold onto his hand.

"Besides the slim chance it's a bomb," Leo laughs. "Be careful on that one, Mike."

"What time are we all meeting at your place?" Donnie asks from his little table. He covers his invention with a cloth, and picks it up to transfer it to the counter.

"Early," I say. Mikey groans at my response. "Hey, we have to catch them off guard. We have to be ready. You should probably be there about five. Before the sun comes out."

"Before the sun comes out is still night, Lex," Mikey says, shaking his head. "But alright – whatever I have to do to kick the butts of those losers who gave me the scar on my face."

Raph, who has been stirring slowly, rolls his eyes and sits up. "It's barely a scratch, Mike. Calm down." Even though he doesn't say it, I know Raph is really glad his brothers are safe and home. The fact that he's down here sleeping, even though Mikey has been being really loud, shows that he's feeling really protective. He doesn't want anything bad to happen to them again.

I stay in the lair with everyone for the entire day. We laugh and talk and make fun of Mikey. It's the last normal day. We don't know what tomorrow's outcome will be, though we hope it's victory. We can't know anything. So tonight is the last time we spend uncertain. And honestly, uncertainty isn't too bad.

I feel my phone buzz.

 _Mom: Are you at the lair?_

 _Me: Yes, sorry I forgot to tell you I was leaving. Do you need me home?_

 _Mom: No, it's okay. But if you're going to stay later, you can stay there. Ask them, but I'm sure they'll all be okay with it. You can just come over with them tomorrow morning._

"Hey, do you guys think I could crash here tonight?" I ask.

"Shouldn't be a problem," Don says, glancing at his brothers. "The couch is always open. And we can get you all those blankets we keep here for you to satisfy all your warm-blooded needs."

"Yes!" Mikey exclaims. "Video games all night!"

"Calm down, Mikey," Raph says. He smirks. "I think she'll just be snuggling with Fearless here all night."

"Aw." Mikey's face falls.

"Hey," I say, laughing. "I'll play video games with you for about another hour, okay? Then we all need to go to bed. We need to be fully rested for tomorrow."

"You won't be doing much sleeping with Leo..." Mikey mutters.

Leo looks embarrassed, but I just laugh and grab the other video game controller.

"Let's see how many times you can use that business man cheat." When I say this, Mikey's face brightens up.

Mikey and I play video games for another hour, and end up sharing a pizza that he made Donnie order. Mikey looks energized, so I feel bad when I tell him it's time to go to sleep.

"Believe me, you'll be glad I set you a bedtime," I say. "You'll need your full energy tomorrow." Donnie and Leo bring me blankets, and then they all say goodnight and head into their rooms.

I sit on the couch for a bit, but I'm still cold. I tip-toe through the hallway and find Leo's room. I knock softly, and open it when I hear him grant passage. When I enter, I find the blue-clad turtle sitting on his bed, with his sketch-pad. He looks like he's deep in concentration, but his face relaxes when he sees me.

"Hey Lex," he says. "Everything okay?"

"I'm cold."

"Do you need more blankets?" he asks. He sets his sketch-pad down, and starts to stand up.

"No." I shake my head and come closer to him. "Just you." I hold his gaze for a few moments, until he smiles and opens his arms out to me just like he did when I walked into the lair earlier. I smile and walk into his arms without hesitation. He rubs his nose against mine and smiles, his eyes partially closed. I find his lips and kiss him long. He wraps his arms around my waist gently and I slide my arms around his neck.

It's unlike any kiss we've had. It's just one, long kiss. But it isn't awkward. It isn't weird or stiff. It's beautiful and longing and perfect. When we finally break away, we still remain close.

"Tomorrow is going to change everything," he whispers. "What if things go wrong?"

"Shh..." I mumble. "Don't think about that." I find his lips again and he doesn't object. He holds onto me like I could be lost any second. I feel his love through his breathing, through his lips, through his heart that somehow manages to transfer all of its passion and love through my own.

"Do you still have your nightmares?" I ask softly when we pull away. I gently stroke his face.

"Not as often," he says. "Thank you."

"I didn't do much."

"It helps to wake up from a dream of losing you and find you right there next to me when I wake up. It shows me you're not really gone." He closes his eyes and pulls my face close. "It shows me you're still here."

"And I'm going to keep staying here," I mumble, taking his face by my fingertips and pull it in, finding his lips again.

"I love you, Lexi," he mumbles through the kiss. "And I'm so glad you're here."

"I love you too, my Leonardo."

I find myself drifting off to sleep soon, and feel Leo's fingertips gently stroking my arm.

"It's just like a movie," I say quietly.

Leo smiles. "Just like a movie."

* * *

When I was younger, I spent hours watching the warriors in the Headquarters fighting side by side, with the Agents to back them up and be their informants. I was scolded a few times by Mom, because I was staring. But Master Makai always said that observation is often the best way to learn. And I couldn't help it: I was mesmerized by their ability to move so swiftly and work in such unison. It was almost as if they were all thinking the exact same thing. Each of their actions was a ripple effect.

I never realized how many people work in the Headquarters until now. How many people I've been side by side with for all these years. I've seen them cut their hair, break their arms and get the flu. I've signed casts and attended weddings and learned with so many people individually that I never realized how many people I work with.

We've all gathered in the Headquarters: the agents, the detectives, the warriors and the students. Here reside the sensei, the turtles, my family and those who have become like family.

Living in New York, I've seen a great deal of diversity. Diversity is heavily packed in a single city, and it's overtly different. In New York City, people are different, and they carry on with their lives that way.

But right now, in the Headquarters, I see this diversity with a perspective I've never noticed before. Just like the people of New York City, these people are diverse. They come from different backgrounds, different situations and live very different lives. Some are doctors on the side. Some grew up in other countries. Some never met their grandparents and some are grandparents. There are some who are similar and some who couldn't be more different.

But the difference between the people simply in New York versus the Headquarters is this: unity. Regardless of our differences, we feel like a team. We are connected. We are unified.

"Detective King." The moment Serena speaks, everyone is hushed. That's the effect Serena has on people – when she takes initiative, people listen.

She doesn't need to say anything else; I know what I'm supposed to do.

I find Leo's eyes in the crowd, and that gives me a boost of strength.

"I was eight years old when evil first became real to me. It wasn't just on the t.v. anymore. It wasn't just a story in the newspaper. It wasn't seeing a villain in my favorite superhero movie. It was right next to me. It was in the cameras I was required to take notes on. Real people. Real blood. Real screams." I pause and swallow. "Evil stopped being just a word. It became less bad, and more terrifying. It could take any form."

"I was taught at a very, very young age that evil doesn't always look like evil. I didn't know my own father would be whisked away into this madness they call the dark life. I didn't know I would be taken away and tortured and told I'd never see the light of day again. I didn't know I'd ever have to quadruple-check that I locked the door, not just at night, but during the day. I didn't know I would have my best friend stabbed right in the chest, quite literally." I lock eyes with Leo. The scar is still on his plastron. "And I didn't know it would be my fault."

"I didn't know I'd ever have to attend my little brother's funeral. I never thought a boy so full of life could lie there looking so lifeless. And I didn't know that people could be so heartless."

"I'm just as scared as you are. If you want to say you're not scared, go ahead. But I know you are. Because even though we've been fighting against this evil for so, so long, we're never prepared for it. We know there are heartless people out there, but the moment we think they couldn't get more heartless, they prove us wrong. We know that bad things happen to good people, but we don't expect those bad things to happen to the best people."

"We know we're willing to fight or die trying, but we don't actually expect that we'll die trying." I take a breath. "You can never be prepared for the evil we've been trying to prepare for. It's an evil that's—as pessimistic as this seems—unstoppable. It happens everywhere. I'm not the only victim. You're not the only victim. We are all victims of this it, and no one is alone in it. It will continue. If we kill this evil, there's one just like it down the street."

"The point isn't to destroy the evil. If that was the point, we'd be wasting our time. The point of all of this is to not give that monstrosity the satisfaction of our surrender. So what, we might fail? But if we don't try to stop them, no one will. We have a unity like none other. We always have."

"You're scared. I'm scared. Let's be scared together. Let's fight anyway. We might not be able to stop the evil from growing all around this big world. But we will not surrender. Someone once said, 'Choose your battles wisely.' This is a battle chosen wisely. We can do this. And even we can't, we have to."

I take a step back, and scan the crowd for my family. When I find them, a rush of relief washes over me. Mom's eyes are comforting, and Dad's poise radiates strength. Rosalie is the first to start clapping.

"Thank you, Detective," Serena says, smiling (a rare move for her). "Detective Rasmussen."

Nick gives her a nod, and steps up. "We finally got a tag on the Dark Angels. One of their members was a little too reckless and led us to their lair. This happened a few weeks ago, but we waited until recently to follow-up on it because we wanted to be sure we knew as much as we could. The plan is to attack, and try the very best we can to rid the Dark Angels."

"It won't be easy, as we know, but we are all going in together. This is no sneak attack. This is an invasion. The Dark Angels will see us coming, and that's okay; they're supposed to. It's true, there are a lot of them. But there are even more of us. We're going to give it all we've got and nothing less."

"In order for the plan to work, we need people staying back. Those people have been assigned. Remember, the biggest thing is this: attack as many as possible, but we will be notifying the police."

"Notifying the police?" Someone from the crowd asks. "After or before the attack?"

"After," Nick replies. "Right after. Our hope is we'll have trapped them and they won't escape. Regardless of what happens, the police will be notified and at very least, the Dark Angels hideout will be revealed. At most, they'll serve their consequences." He looks at Serena. "That's all I have to say. We'll be seen, but it's okay. We have to be seen."

"Thank you, Detective." Agent Serena nods. "Everyone gather to the groups you've been assigned. We'll all reach the Hideout and go in together."

Everyone breaks out into movement, but I can't seem to follow suit as immediately. I stand there, with my hands cupping the desk in front of me. I feel a little dizzy, a little unreal, and a great deal nervous.

"Hey Lex," Mikey says. He approaches me with his kind blue eyes and gentle smile. He throws his arm around me, and presses his cheek against mine. "Let's kick some butt. You're really good at that." As nervous as I am, I can't help but laugh.

"Thanks, Mike," I say, smiling. He holds on to me a little longer, and then pulls out his nunchucks.

"I'm not too bad at it either, if I do say so myself," he says, smirking. He slices the air with his weapon and strikes a pose. "Those Dark Angels don't know what's coming!"

"Calm down, you fiery ball of arrogance," Rose says to the orange-clad turtle. She shakes her head as he walks away. Her eyes find mine, and behind her, Leo approaches as well.

"You ready?" Leo asks. He holds out a hand for me to take.

I take a deep breath and look around. The doorway is being stampeded by eager warriors and agents, fired up by all the speeches given beforehand, and excited to put their skills to the test. I see Mikey, as he continues to swish his nunchucks in the air. He approaches Donnie, who rolls his eyes as his younger brother. Raph graphs Mikey's head and rubs it vigorously. Mikey stops swinging his weapons, and looks like he's yelling at Raph.

My eyes are led back to Leo's beautiful dark ones. I raise my eyebrows and offer a half smile.

We go.

We park the Battle Shell blocks away from the spot we are all meeting. I hold on to Leo's hand the entire ride over, and when we walk through the bitter January air, he pulls me closer. I press my ear to his chest and my breathing steadies when I hear his fixed heartbeat. I wish I had his ability to remain calm in chaotic situations.

The Dark Angels hideout is located underground an old building on the outskirts of New York City. It originally belonged to a Best Buy that went out of business, and the building remains vacant. But the underground is buzzing with life of Dark Angels.

When everyone arrives at the Hideout, Serena steps up.

"There are several secret entrances we've found," Serena says. She nods her head once, and immediately, several agents break out into movement. Within minutes, floorboards and pieces of the walls have been lifted. "The center of their Hideout is located in a door that's labeled 5C."

I hop into one of the holes in the floor, with Rose by my side. When we drop down, I feel a familiar pang in the chest. My mouth tastes bitter and a pit in my stomach opens up. By natural instinct, I begin to shake, but I try to emulate Leo's calm persona.

We are surrounded by blinding whiteness. Corridors are aligned symmetrically, perfectly carved. Florescent white lights line the edges of the ceiling, and the hallways seem endless. There's hardly a speck of darkness that we can see.

"Just like the Torture Chambers..." Rose whispers.

I can hear the faint thumps of people landing right behind us, still coming down from the opening in the floor. I can't turn around. I'm too shocked by this familiar and eerie surrounding.

"Why is it so white?" Mikey asks. "Aren't they the _Dark_ Angels?"

"It's less symbolic, more purposeful," Nick explains. He steps in front of me and brushes his fingertips against the walls. He flips over his hand and finds it's still perfectly clean. "It's white so that people stand out. If you're wearing any other color besides white, you're immediately spotted."

"Nice to know that after we've already gotten dressed for the day," Raph mutters.

"Hey, we're supposed to be seen, remember?" Nick replies. "There are too many of us to even try to conceal ourselves. This is an invasion."

There is silence once more, besides the sound of us walking through the halls. I glance back and see the turtles, my family, Nick, and some warriors from the Headquarters. I don't see Casey and April, so I assume they've gone with the others. Since there were several different entrances into the Hideout, people took different routes.

"Where is everybody?" Mikey asks. His voice doesn't echo, and that catches me off guard at first. With the openness of our surroundings, you'd think his voice would echo. Instead, it has an eerie closeness to it. I don't like it.

Nobody answers his question.

"It wasn't this quiet last time, was it?" he tries again. I hear his nunchucks slicing the air, and though this is usually a sound that sets me on edge, it soothes me right now. It's a calming familiarity—something I need to calm my nerves right now.

"Noah hacked into the security cameras last time," Nick says. His response appears detached from Mikey's question.

"So it was quieter?"

"So we were unexpected," Rose corrects. "Nobody could see us coming."

"Do they see us coming right now?" Mikey asks.

Again, nobody responds to his question. And it's obvious that this bothers him.

"Hello? Are you guys only gonna answer me half the time?" he asks, sounding a little bit irritated. "We need to know when to be ready. Can they see us right now?"

"My guess is yes," Mom says sullenly.

"Then be prepared," Mikey responds. His nunchucks continue to swing, fighting back gravity. I stop walking and turn my head towards him. His eyes are alert and his stance is strong. He's holding his head high and standing up straight, which makes him several inches taller than usual. That's when I realize something.

The lights are affecting our sense of reality.

I squeeze my eyes shut tightly and open them again. I feel a little dizzy when I do this, but I do it a few more times.

"What's wrong?" Mom asks. She puts her hand on my shoulder. "Lexi, are you alright?"

"The walls. The walls. They're distorting our senses." My words sound choppy, and I can't think straight.

"It's because they're really bright," Dad says evenly. "We'll get used to it."

"No, Dad." I open my eyes wide, and shake my head. "They know it's gonna get to us."

"Who?"

"The Dark Angels."

"I think I get what she means," Rose says slowly. "The lights are affecting our ability to think clearly. We're all moving really slowly. Thinking slowly. Reacting slowly."

"Mikey's right," I say, pulling out my katanas. "We need to be ready. And we have to fight off the effects."

Leo pulls out his katanas too, and the moment he does so, the floors open up right in front of us. Out fly countless Dark Angels, dressed completely in white. They're all armed – some with guns, some with knives and some with just the weaponry of their minds and manual skill.

I find myself pushing through the crowd, trying to fight off all the Angels I possibly can. My eyes are still sensitive to the whiteness, and I find myself searching frantically for a sign that says 5C. All I can find through the hallway so far is 3B, which means we are still far from the center.

"Lexi, look out!" Donnie's voice calls out. By instinct, I duck and roll. When I stand, I see a Dark Angel whose eyes are glaring into me. His hand is held out like he just threw something. I don't waste time to try to figure out what could've killed me. Instead, I go for the ones in front of me.

Rose is backed into a wall by a few of them, and when one of them throws a knife at her face, she ducks. The knife still grazes against her arm, but it doesn't seem to faze her. There seems to be a spring in her feet as she bounces right back up and punches one of them in the nose.

As I'm running, I go tumbling to the ground. At first, I think I've tripped but I realize soon that I've been tripped. I look up and see several Dark Angels walking slowly towards me, with their knives drawn. I scramble up off the ground, searching for the katanas I've dropped. In the stampede of people, they're no where to be found.

"Lexi! Heads up!" Leo's voice shouts. I turn to look over at him just in time to see one of his katanas flying through the air. One of the Dark Angels jumps for it instead, and snatches it out of the air. I swing my leg, knocking over the Angel, and catching the katana before it can go down with him. I slice through the crowd of Dark Angels in front of me, and I try to ignore the rivers of blood gathering at my feet.

Ducking becomes my best friend as knives are thrown over my head and knuckles collide into the walls instead of my face. And multi-tasking becomes harder than it's ever been before. I look for signs of where I am.

4A: we're getting closer to the Dark Angels Headquarters.

As I'm running through the hallways, I catch a glimpse of someone being dragged through one of the corridors.

It's Rose, and there's blood cascading down the side of her head.

A sound escapes my mouth that I've only made once before.

No.

I'm not losing another sibling.

A fiery rage erupts within me, and I don't care anymore about looking for the center of the Headquarters. Leo's katana becomes more than just a weapon – it becomes a pathway to my sister.

My feet have never taken me so far so quickly. I slice the torso of one of the Dark Angels nearby Rose, and kick down the one dragging her. My foot slams into his jaw a few times until the blood coming out of his face is equivalent to that running down Rose's head. I feel someone grab me from behind, and out of my fit of rage, I swing to punch them too. My hand is grabbed mid-swing.

"It's just me, Lexi," Donnie says in front of me. "Come on, he's down."

I know that he's just being reasonable: there's no reason to continue any further damage if the guy is down. But my anger is at its height right now and all I can think of is my unconscious sister.

I look down and shake Rose's head a few times.

"Rose," I say firmly. "Rose. Rose, please wake up. Please." I hit her face gently a few times and she opens her eyes with much effort.

"I'm okay," she mumbles. She tries to sit up, but breaks out into a shriek.

"Rosalie!" Mom screams from behind. She pushes through several people and sprints down the corridor. One of the Dark Angels next to me is stirring, and Donnie kicks him, which knocks him out again.

"I'm okay, Mom," she chokes out, but her voice sounds strained.

"We need to get her back," Donnie says. There is a sense of urgency in his voice that makes me feel uneasy. "She's losing too much blood." He lifts her into his arms. Dad has stopped in the doorway of the corridor, and is frozen. He must've come to the same conclusion that Mom had. The same conclusion that I had.

"We'll accompany you." A group of agents and warriors have stopped to see what's wrong. "We'll fight off anyone who tries to fight you."

"Thank you." He turns to Mom. "I'll take her to the lair. Splinter can help me tend to her wounds."

"Thank you, Donatello," Mom says with tears in her eyes.

With a simple nod, Donnie has taken down the hallway with the group of warriors and agents who had offered to go with him. Mikey pops around the corner, knocking out a Dark Angel with his nunchucks.

"What happened to Rose?" he asks, looking frantic.

"She'll be okay," I say, and I say it because it's the only think I can say to make myself feel better right now. "We need to keep fighting."

They say if you're fighting with a personal purpose, that even if there are one hundred more people going against you, that you'll fight more bravely and more valiantly than those you're fighting against. This is because you have a purpose so personally engraved in your heart. You're fighting for your rights, or your home, or your family.

For this case, it's all the above.

I'm fighting so I don't have to worry about my friends being kidnapped because they know me. I'm fighting so I don't have to quadruple-check that I locked my doors every single moment of the day. I'm fighting so that I can live my life without being deathly afraid. I'm fighting so there aren't any more funerals to attend with beautiful, young faces in the caskets.

When I find room 5A, I feel a wave of relief. I'm only two rooms away from Melinda. I don't know what we'll do when we get there, but it's better than being so close yet so far away.

5B.

I turn another hallway and find 5C directly down the hall. I can hear the chaos behind me, and I cling to Leo's katana like it's my last hope. The amount of Dark Angels we're fighting has died down, and there are only a couple left. I know there are more behind these doors—more than we've fought tonight—but I'm okay with that. I know there is no other way around it. And I'm ready.

There is a searing pain in my shoulder. I can't put a point on which direction it came from but I curse my pause for it.

The screams from behind me all mash into one noise and I can't decipher what's going on around me. I try my best to cling on to Leo's katana, but I find myself crashing to the ground. I release his sword and put my hand to my shoulder. I find a blade unlike any I've ever seen before. It's circular and ragged, and it's embedded into my shoulder.

I hear Leo cry out my name from behind me, but I can't hear anything clearly. In my peripheral vision, I see bodies crashing to the ground. My vision fogs up, and the last thing I see is the white lights flashing red. I hear Leo's voice next to me but I don't know what he's saying.

Hate is a strong word. Hate is what you use to describe something you have a true passion of being against. Hate requires you to feel something, and as negative as that feeling may be, requires emotion.

When I look at Melinda Crespo, I don't see hate. Hate means she cares.

When I look at Melinda Crespo, I see apathy. And somehow, that's worse than hate. It means she doesn't care whether or not I live or die. And that applies now more than it ever has before.

I don't hate Melinda Crespo. I hate her apathetic persona. I hate her indifference. I hate her ability to kill without a second thought.

She and Karai are like twins. As different as they used to be, they've grown to almost be exactly alike. They both have dark hair and dark eyes. But it isn't their physical appearances that are the same now. Karai used to show mercy. She used to be someone to fear, but respect, in a way. She'd never kill anyone who was defenseless. She was always clever, and always tricky, but she was never cruel.

Karai is now almost an exact replica of Melinda. Her eyes are set with a bitter resonance. Her persona is dark and her habits are even darker. She's adapted Melinda's apathy. You no longer fear Karai for her skill. You fear her for her ruthless use of that skill.

"Alexandra and friends," Melinda says when I wake up. "Don't worry; we'll catch all of you this time."

"You can't catch all of us," I say bitterly.

"Yes, but I can kill you. Then what is there to fight for?"

I don't bother pointing out the fact that she hasn't killed me in the past, given all her opportunities. I really don't want to test her right now.

"This isn't about me, Melinda. This is about you and all the destruction you've caused. If you killed me, it wouldn't change anything. We're not fighting you because of me. We're fighting you because of you."

"I'm not in the mood for your riddles, Alexandra," Melinda says. "You know, it's very rude to invade a person's home."

I don't answer her. Instead, I look around me. I spot Serena, Nick, a great number of the warriors and agents, and all the turtles except for Donnie. Though I'm slightly disappointed to see that the turtles didn't escape, I keep in mind that Mom and Dad aren't here so they must be okay. April and Casey, Donnie and Rose, the rest of the warriors and agents...there is still hope.

"Did you not hear me?" Melinda asks. "I said we'll catch all your other friends eventually."

"I heard you." I look up and eye Karai. "Nice that you two are friends."

"Karai and her clan are wise to accommodate to the means of the Dark Angels," Melinda hisses. "They're working for us. That's something you and your friends decided not to do. That's why you're here."

When she says this, I see a flicker of emotion in Karai's eyes. It comes to me that Karai hasn't revealed to Melinda her plan to overthrow the Dark Angels. She's still undercover.

I just nod.

The room is silent for a long, long time. Fighting can be heard from outside, and after a few minutes, the door to the room we're in opens. In come a large number of foot clan soldiers. The door slams shut.

"What are they doing here?" Melinda demands. She shoots daggers through her eyes at the soldiers that surround her.

"Working for you?" Karai repeats Melinda's words with bitterness. "Not even close."

Melinda laughs. "You think you can overthrow me." It isn't a question. It's a statement. And it's a very dangerous one too.

"We've gathered enough to do so," Karai responds. With a wave of a hand, the foot soldiers launch at Melinda. Melinda immediately breaks into action. She kicks, punches and beats unlike I've ever seen before. After half of the foot soldiers are on the ground, the door is thrown open again and in come more Dark Angels and Sullivan.

With the Dark Angels, I see flashes of color.

Mom, Dad, April, Casey, Donnie and the rest of the warriors and agents that weren't here already. I see Master Makai kick down several Dark Angels, and make a break towards us.

April, Mom and several of the other agents unlock our chains.

Chaos erupts once more.

The Dark Angels have the Foot Clan down within minutes. Melinda kicks down Karai, and Sullivan pins her to the ground.

"You've made a very, very big mistake, Karai," Melinda sneers. "Take her away." Sullivan lifts a struggling Karai, and the door slams.

Melinda turns to see that we're all out of our chains. Surrounded by unconscious foot warriors, she laughs.

"More fun," she says. "You all really need to stop testing me."

The Dark Angels in here aren't even half as many as there were outside, but it's still overwhelming. I find Leo's katana in my sheath and use it to fight through. I know he isn't used to only fighting with one katana, but I don't have time to feel bad about using his other one.

I'm knocked to the ground. Leo's katana falls out of my hand and slides far away from me. My hands are empty. I'm vulnerable. My head hits the wall hard, and I can feel blood streaking down the side of my head. It's warm and it's fresh and it's all too familiar. Melinda is right in front of me. She has her arm lifted and a dagger in the perfect position to kill.

The _perfect_ position to kill.

Leo's scream makes me freeze.

I've heard him say my name a number of times, in a number of voices. Urgent. Kind. Gentle. Joking. Serious. Hurt. Irritated.

But never like this.

Melinda's eyes are fueled with fire. A fire unlike any I've ever seen in a pair of eyes before. She's a killer. And through her dark irises, I can see it. She's a cold-blooded killer.

And then it all disappears.

The rage.

The fire.

The fuel.

The darkness in her eyes is gone.

She drops on top of me and lies, unmoving.

Her dagger grazes the side of my face when she falls on me. Her body is heavy. It's limp.

It's dead.

Everything seems to freeze. Freeze in time. The Dark Angels keep moving, keep fighting all around me, but I can't see it anymore. I have Melinda's limp body lying on me, but that isn't what's weighing me down the most.

I can hear police sirens in the distance and through the windows. I can hear shouts and screams to "Stay where you are!" from outside. I can almost see the red, white and blue lights flashing and handcuffs being set. And I can imagine it's going to take a long time to clean up all of this blood.

I know Sullivan has escaped. I know a lot of the Dark Angels will escape; only, they'll escape without their leader. Melinda will lie dead here until she is buried. I don't know who will bury her.

It's like a battleground. Blood stains the floors and our clothes. A cold atmosphere shakes the room to the core. Mountains of dead and unconscious bodies cascade down every hallway.

And Leo stands frozen, with a bloody dagger in his hands, right behind where Melinda has fallen.

I've never seen a pair of eyes look so broken.

 **A/N: Yes, Melinda is dead. Yes, Leo killed her. Yes, the police came. Yes, Sullivan and a lot of the Dark Angels got away.**

 **It's symbolic. Just like what Lexi was saying earlier, there's going to be evil everywhere. And most of the time, you can't beat it. As much as I wanted a perfect ending (I mean it's not the end YET) where all the villains are arrested or defeated, that isn't how life always is. Yes, Melinda was killed. But Sullivan got away.**

 **Unfortunately that's how it goes sometimes. Happy endings are not always realistic endings. They can happen but often reality isn't as kind.**


	37. Reflection

**Leo's POV:**

There's a particular vile taste that you can't swallow. It's a taste in your mouth and a pit in your stomach. It's an over-heated feeling and a heaviness in your heart. It's where your heart seems to connect straight to the darkness in your stomach and you feel your very existence weighing you down. You can't eat. You can't drink. You can barely hear anything except for your own self-deprecating thoughts.

And for my own case, I can't forget how it feels to push a blade through somebody's back. To see their back go straight up in shock, and then have them collapse to the floor.

I can't look at my katana.

I stare up at the ceiling, lying limp on my bed. I've been in this position for a long time and can't bring myself to stand.

There is a knock at the door. I prepare for Mikey, or Donnie or Raph.

"My son." Splinter's kind and gentle voice feels like a stab in the heart. Guilt washes over me again.

I can't reply. I can't even look at him.

"My son," Splinter says again. In my peripheral vision, I see him sit down. "Kneel before me."

I wait for a few moments, and then find the strength to move. I slowly make my way over to my father. My knees feel heavy as I drop them to the ground. I still can't look at him, until he specifically orders me to.

"What troubles you, my son?"

"I..." I croak, but can't seem to form words.

He waits.

"Father..." I mumble. "I've never killed anyone in my entire life. But I killed Melinda. I killed her. She didn't see it coming. I was right behind her."

"What was she doing?"

"She was..." I shut my eyes. "She was about to kill Lexi. She was leaning right in front of her, and had the knife in her hand. She was going to kill Lexi. Just moments away from it." I shake my head. "But it wasn't self-defense. I wasn't killing her to defend myself. I was killing her to defend Lexi."

"And you don't believe that is the same thing?"

"Well..." I pause. "Master Splinter, I don't know what's right and what's wrong right now. All I know is that I can't stop thinking about it. I killed her. I killed someone."

"My son, you are traumatized. I can see that," Splinter says. "But you are letting guilt consume you. A guilt that accompanies your conscience. Your conscience tells you that killing is wrong. By no means am I trying to go against your conscience. I have taught you that it is wrong to kill someone who is defenseless." He pauses, and I look up at him. "But think of circumstances in war."

"I wasn't in a war."

"Were you not in a battle?"

I don't answer.

"Leonardo, you acted in dark bravery. But bravery nonetheless. I know it will take you much time to recover from this trauma, but you have no need to forgive yourself. For, I believe that if you had have allowed Melinda to kill Alexandra, you would never forgive yourself for that." He puts his paw on my shoulder. "Leonardo...my son. I still love you. And even if you feel you have blood on your hands, time will heal you. All you can do is recognize the circumstances, and remain true to the values I've taught you. Do not make killing a habit."

"I won't, Master Splinter," I whisper. "Believe me, I won't."

He offers a small smile, and takes my hands. "Then we must be brave once more and move on. I will offer you the time you need to recover but don't forget that we are here to help you get through this ordeal. We are your family."

 **Lexi's POV:**

I'm still not used to seeing the Police Force within the walls of the Headquarters. I'm used to young people running around with katanas and bows and arrows; not people shooting glares at the fact that we have young people with weapons.

"Detective King." My head shoots up when I hear my name. Usually it's just Serena who calls me by that name; everyone else has grown used to calling me Lexi. It's a friendly environment and it always has been. Some people used to call me "Agent" but most people have always stuck to Lexi.

My feet bring me over to where Agent Serena is standing, though my mind doesn't consent. She is surrounded by police officers, and since I'm still not used to them here, I'm a little unwilling. I keep reminding myself that the NYPD is on our side: they're not here to expose or hurt us. We are one in purpose: we want to fight crime. I guess the only difference is a lot of us take it more personal because we're more personally involved.

"This is Detective Alexandra King," Serena says, smiling and standing up straight. But the smile isn't towards me; it's towards the police officers.

"Hi," I say. I sound awkward, and I know this. I don't have to look at Serena to know she's looking at me expectantly. I don't know whether to hold out my hand to shake or not. There are four or five officers, and that's a lot of hands to shake. "It's good to have you here."

"Thank you for all the work you've done here," one of them says smiling. He smiles and gives me a nod. "I know it's hard work."

I don't know how to reply to this. "Hard" isn't exactly the way I would describe the work we do. More like dangerous? Risky? Uncomfortable? Those may be subcategories for hard. But I take the compliment and nod.

"Well we appreciate what you do too."

"We want to let you know the incredible progress your findings have made in our own work," another one of the officers says. She's female, and has auburn hair, layered and at her shoulders. She smiles at me.

"Is that so?" I ask.

"We've had over thirty murders solved because of the footage and information you have," she says. Her voice is gentle yet strong. It's like a silk cord – it's calming, but it brings my attention forward.

My head bobs up. "Really?"

"Yes, Detective," she says, smiling. "Almost all of them related to the Dark Angels. There were many people who had been framed, or missing. I don't think we would've been able to find these things at all if it weren't for you guys." She looks me directly in the eyes. "You do more than I think you realize, Alexandra."

And that's the moment I realize something that took me ten years to realize.

The headquarters is more than just a place I've gone all my life for my "protection". It's not just a place we go to protect others. It's not just a job.

The Headquarters, from the time I was very young, was one of my first and longest big life lessons. In the Headquarters, we are taught to defend ourselves, yes. But it's much more than that. It's to learn to defend yourself but also to learn that the things you do affect more people than you can imagine.

Master Makai affected me and my ability to fight. He taught me how to recognize when I gain wisdom, and taught me how to fight the right way.

Mom's actions affected plenty of people. When she told the Headquarters of her secret, she was suspended from the Headquarters. We don't know if she'll ever be welcomed back; I have hopes that she will. But for now, consequences must be served.

Every little thing we do affects others, and sometimes you can't see that line of effect until years later.

* * *

Three short raps come from my window. It makes me jump a little bit. I'm in my pajama pants and hoodie, my hair thrown into a bun. I'm on my laptop, looking through Amazon. I groan when I see Leo at my window, and reach my arm out.

"It's too far...I don't wanna stand up," I complain, groaning.

Leo rolls his eyes. I see him mouth _You're so lazy_ , and I laugh. I stand up and unlatch the lock on the window. He smiles in satisfaction, and wraps his arms around me. We hug for a few moments, and the moments turn longer and longer. I snuggle my head into his chest, and he wraps his arms tighter around my waist. When we pull away, I look into his eyes and lean in to kiss him.

I take a seat on my bed again, and he sits down too. I push my laptop to the side and take his hand, rubbing it.

"How're you doing?" I ask softly. I find his eyes, and he maintains eye contact for a few moments, but then he has to look away. He starts fidgeting.

"I'm better," he says. Although I can tell he isn't lying, I also know he isn't doing as well as before. "How are you?"

I ignore his question. "Come here," I say, pulling him closer. He doesn't object. I slide my arms around him, and he looks grateful for the comfort again.

Leo killed Melinda. Stabbed her right through the back. And if it makes me cringe to remember Melinda's eyes suddenly losing all their emotion as she fell directly onto me, I can't imagine how Leo feels knowing that he's the one who made those eyes fall cold.

"I'm okay," he says. "Really. I'm just trying to get used to life again. The Dark Angels aren't really a problem anymore."

"They're not eliminated completely," I remind him, rubbing his arm. "Sullivan took off with a lot of them." I realize soon after that I shouldn't have mentioned that to Leo. His eyes grow wide and soon they close. Leo rubs his forehead, which is creased in worry. Before he can say anything, I speak again. "Hey, hey, but don't worry about that!"

Leo takes his hand off his forehead. He looks like he's aged. He's tired and experienced a lot. I probably look like a grandma too.

"What were you doing before I came?" Leo asks, motioning to my laptop. "Writing?"

"Not this time," I say. I pull my laptop forward. "I've just been searching for different things on the internet."

I turn the screen towards him. He studies it for a few moments, and then his forehead creases again, but this time out of confusion.

"Looking for anything in particular?" he asks.

I shrug. "I might buy some small things." I shoot him a grin. "But I'm mostly looking at crazy things that people sell."

"Like, purple lawnmowers kind of crazy?" Leo asks as a grin creeps onto his face. "Or your 'silent toilet' idea?"

I gasp and hit his arm, which makes him grin even wider. "I'm telling you, people would buy that! I've already got a name for it: the 'Shush-and-Flush'."

"That's why you're not a salesman."

"That's saleswoman to you!"

"Okay, okay." He puts his hands up in surrender. "So any purple lawnmowers?"

"That's _normal_ compared to some of these things," I say, laughing. "Look at this."

Leo peers at the screen again, and then laughs. "An albino pet rock?"

"With a walking leash," I add.

"I would not spend $12.50 on that!"

"It has a leash, Leo!" I say. "I think that's worth it."

"You already have a pet rock."

"But I don't have a leash for it."

Leo snorts. "Save your money for something that's actually worthwhile."

"Like the 'Grow a Boyfriend' for $4.33?" I point to the second item that pops up on the screen.

"You already have a boyfriend!" Leo exclaims. "That's a no from me."

"What about these bacon flavored mints?"

Leo makes a face. "That sounds _disgusting_."

"Okay," I say, putting my hands up. "But how does this sound: a yodeling grapefruit."

"A yodeling grapefruit?" Leo repeats, looking incredulous. "Is that an actual thing?"

"It's only $11.01."

Leo starts laughing really hard. The corners of his eyes crinkle up. "Who would buy that?"

"It's a grapefruit...that yodels!"

"Well I understand that," he says, laughing. "But why?"

"Imagine making grapefruit juice!"

"It would be screaming the entire time!" Leo exclaims. "I would be _traumatized_!"

There's a knock at my door. Both our heads bounce up, and the door is pushed open. Dad stands in the hallway and smiles when he sees Leo.

"Hey, no boys in your bedroom," he says teasingly.

"Oh believe me, Dad," Rose says, leaning against the doorway. "They've been in a bedroom before."

"Shut up, Rosalie," I say, shaking my head. "We were just talking."

"But what were you talking about?" Rose questions, putting her hand under her chin.

Leo and I both share a look and then start laughing.

"Yodeling grapefruits," Leo says, amusement glistening in his eyes.

"Well that's not a very sexy topic..." Rose mumbles, raising her eyebrows.

We all talk and joke for a while. Eventually, Dad and Rose leave and it's just me and Leo again. We keep looking at crazy things that people sell on the internet, but as the night grows on, our conversations only get better.

It's around midnight when all finally goes quiet. Leo and I just sit there, peacefully. Neither of us feels the need to fill the silence. It's a beautiful silence – one of those silences that don't need any words.

"I'm so in love with you, Lexi," Leo says after about ten minutes of this silence. His voice is soft and just above a whisper.

My eyes are drawn to him, and they hover over him for a few moments. I just stare at him.

But it's more than that. I'm taking in every part of Leo. All the parts of him that I know, all the parts I never thought existed and all the parts I have yet to know. Everyone has different skins, layers of skin and layers of personality.

But for a brief moment, I see Leonardo who saved me on that cold December night in the subway station. I see the Leonardo who retrieved my katanas for me, because he knew how he would feel if he lost his. I see the Leonardo who got me water when I woke up from being knocked out by Melinda, that very first time. I see Leonardo, who I went to a Christmas shop with.

One year can do a lot.

And I see him for who he is. Not what he looks like. Not what he does. Those are components to who he is, but not all he is. He isn't just a protector. He isn't just a mutant. He isn't just one thing.

He's a ninja. He's a son. He's a brother. He's a friend. He's a counselor. He's a fighter and a leader. He's a boyfriend, and a best friend.

He's so much more than what you might think at first glance.

But I guess we all are more than we seem. Nobody—absolutely nobody—is exactly how they seem at first glance.

I pull him close. He holds me in his arms for a long time, and we sit in silence once more.

And for those moments, he is both the Leonardo that I met that cold December night, and also the Leonardo I now know.

And he's someone worth knowing.

 **A/N: Guys I'm so sad): this is the second to last chapter. I can't believe it's finally coming to a close, this story. So, so, so much has happened & I know lot's of editing needs to be done because it's not perfect but it's mine. It's mine, it's my characters (mostly, besides the originally TMNT characters) and it's my story and it's my creation. I have grown so attached to these characters & their lives, but I guess that's being a writer. You make some friends along the way. Including the readers(: **


	38. The End of a Call

_Four months later_

When I was about fifteen years old, I fell into a pit of depression. It consisted of floods of self-deprecation, a period of self-harm, and the thickest walls you could imagine. I managed to go throughout life and still smile, but when I came home and found myself alone at night, I would be hit with a strong epiphany that I was alone. I found myself constantly in a mindset where I felt I was worthless. I didn't want to bother anyone with my problems and all the things that went through my head.

This had lasted from October until about April. It rained almost everyday, and when it didn't rain, it snowed. The days were bitter and I felt like I was sliding through a world of ice. I felt idle and helpless and felt I could do nothing besides continue living. It was probably the coldest winter I can ever remember having.

In April I found myself beginning to accept who I was. It took many nights of screaming into my pillow, throwing away my blades and scribbling out my feelings furiously onto pieces of paper. It took nights crying silently and then eventually, no longer feeling the obligation to be silent, as my mom had found out what I was going through.

It was a step-by-step process and wasn't easy. But I had my family and I had Mallory. I knew I could get through, and eventually, I did.

 _It started out as a feeling_

 _Which then grew into a hope._

 _Which then turned into a quiet thought,_

 _Which then turned into a quiet word._

I remember one day in late April, I was taking a walk through Central Park. It had been drizzling and raining most of the days, but that was the first day in months that it hadn't even a hint that it was going to rain. The sky was a beautiful blue, soothing and smooth, and there wasn't a single cloud in the sky. Beautiful colors decorated the trees – red, pink, purple, green. Flowers blooming in spite of everything.

I remember a thought that had crossed me that day. I remember thinking that this day could be a symbol of my journey. The days had been dark and bitter. I had felt broken and hopeless. But bit by bit and piece by piece, I healed. Surrounded by friends, family and a newfound decision to try to accept myself, I could see the end of the rain. I could see the sunshine again.

So that day was a symbol. It was my hope coming true; a hope basking in the truth that after going through a storm, it will always eventually end with a bright day. And you'll appreciate that brightness a lot more than if you had never lived without it. It'll rejuvenate you like none other.

Today looks a lot like that day did, years ago. The sky is soft and the sun seems to be giving a gentle smile. Branches on trees are stretched out to embrace New York City, and blossoms stand as the fingers. Even though the streets are in commotion, that commotion seems to be tuned out by the birds singing sweet songs of renewal. In spite of how fast it seems, the world stands still.

This time, I'm with Rosalie. Her long brown hair sways behind her back as we stroll through the park, arms linked. Her eyes are wide in wonder of the beautiful world around us. She has a flower in her hair (I picked it for her and made her put it there) and looks more beautiful than ever. Happier than ever.

You can't appreciate the light unless you know the dark.

 _And then that word grew louder and louder_

 _'til it was a battle cry._

 _I'll come back when you call me_

 _No need to say goodbye._

Our feet silently take us through the twists and trees. They know where they're going.

Even Benjamin's grave seems to have a soft tint to it. There are lots of flowers piled on the side, now that it's springtime and nobody has to worry about the snow. The edges of his grave almost seem to have rounded even though it hasn't been there very long. It still reads:

 **Benjamin William King**

 **Lively spirit, wonderful brother,**

 **Incredible son.**

 **Always in our hearts – never forgotten.**

He never was forgotten. I think about Benj everyday, in different situations. When we run low on syrup or when I see my pet rock sitting on my nightstand. I think of him when I listen to music and when I see someone wearing a football jersey. I think of him when I watch Animal Planet. And I always turn off the tv when Cats 101 comes on.

There is a rebirth in the springtime. The old dies, and the new comes forth, even more beautiful than you remembered. All that is dying or deteriorating diminishes and a new advance at life comes forth.

The new is born, but it doesn't mean we forget all that died. It happened and there's no point in repressing it or pretending like things don't die; like things don't grow dark. The sun goes down. It rains. Things happen. So we welcome the new, but remember the old. For at one point, the old was thriving with life as well.

The thought occurs to me that everything that happens in life could lead us to a completely different life. Sometimes it's on our control, and sometimes it isn't.

If I had decided to go to college in California, I would have a completely different life. I wouldn't talk to the turtles as much, and would hardly ever get to see my family.

If Dad had stayed with us all those years ago, we never would've had to move here to New York. We would have stayed in Malibu, and I could've grown up there. Noah and I would've continued to be friends and maybe something would have bloomed from that.

If Mikey hadn't made me eat that shredded-beef pizza last week, I probably wouldn't have gotten food poisoning.

I pause, and everything around me seems to do so as well.

 _Just because everything's changing_

 _Doesn't mean it's never been this way before._

 _All you can do is try to know who your friends are_

 _As you head off to the war._

Every once in a while, I think about how if I hadn't have been attacked by the Dark Angels, I never would've met the turtles the way we did. But the thought comes to me that if the turtles hadn't have been there, I wouldn't have met them. If they decided to take a right instead of a left, or if Mikey took a really long bathroom break, we would've never even crossed paths.

If I hadn't have met the turtles, would things be different? I'm sure they would be. But what would've still happened? What are some things that they couldn't have stopped? Would I still have taken a break from college? Would Mom still have joined the RBMC? Would Benjamin still be in this grave in front of us? Or would he be taking a walk with us right now, bursting with energy and mocking us with the flowers in our hair?

In all honesty, I've come to the conclusion that those things would've still happened, with or without knowing the turtles. Mom getting involved with the RBMC had nothing to do with them, and neither did Benj's death. I would have still gotten overwhelmed with everything going on, and would have taken a break from CTU.

My conclusion is that it isn't about if things would still be the same, but rather what would be different.

I never would have gone into the sewers. I never would have tried mushrooms on pizza next to an eager-looking turtle. I never would have learned how to wield nunchucks (thanks, Mikey), and I never would have gone on four shopping trips in one day with four giant mutant turtles, bundled up in a trench coat and scarves. I never would have gone to the Farmhouse and gone sledding. I never would've had a mistletoe kiss in that Farmhouse.

I would've never been able to go down to the lair on hot summer days when I was dying to get away from the heat, and have something to do. I never would've stayed up until three in the morning playing video games with someone who learned ninjistu when he was seven. I would've never sat on a rooftop with Leo, trying to look for stars and talk about our lives.

 _Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light._

 _You'll come back when it's over_

 _No need to say goodbye._

Benjamin was going to die regardless. But if I hadn't have met the turtles, they never would've got to know how amazing he really was.

They never would've seen his bright smile and hear his loud, staccato laugh. They never would've seen the way he'd jump five feet away from the couch and just so he could fly through the air for a few seconds. They never would've heard him tease me about Leo; in fact, he wouldn't even have anything to tease me about regarding Leo.

 _You'll come back when it's over_

 _No need to say goodbye._

I come to the conclusion that things would be different, but those awful things would have still happened. The only difference is that I had a sense of abnormality to help my life seem a little more normal. When your dad is New York's biggest secret criminal, your brother is taken by a mutant in a place that your Mom secretly worked, it's nice to have somewhere to escape; somewhere to go to feel normal. And when you're eating pizza, playing video games, laughing and messing around, it's easy to forget that you're in a sewer and your best friends are mutants.

I think we're each called on this earth to do great things. And sometimes, things happen to open the doors for us to do those great things.

We get hurt so that we can learn to be strong.

We lose things so we can learn the value of everything.

Our hearts break so we can learn how to mend.

People leave so we can learn to be independent.

Apologies are given so we can learn that we are all in need of forgiveness.

Regardless of what happens, our call always remains. And when we do what we are meant to do, when we fulfill that reason for our being here, we are given a new one. Our lives are just call after call. The only thing is that we have to be quiet enough to hear the calls.

And I believe that sometimes, people are called together. One in purpose. This is when everyone's purposes melt into each other, and cross paths. It's a state of being where you're meant to meet – you're meant to accomplish things together, and that's the only way you can do it. Together.

I believe that that night after work was my call. It was my time to finally begin to do something other than what I'd done all my life. There was a bigger purpose out there: I needed to overcome my fears, and instead of leaving them behind, I needed to use them to my advantage. Overcome, then put to use.

But it wasn't just my call.

It was Leo's call. His call to find someone to help, and someone who understood him. It was his call to find that there are people who will accept him the way he is, and it was our call to do that.

And Donnie's call. He was called to put his brain to work and find that he can do so much more than just hide in his lab all day and make things go BOOM. It was for him to show the world what he could do.

Mikey's call: to make others smile, even when they feel broken. Even when they are broken, and every aspect of their life is broken. Mikey's call was to use his youthful spirit to remind others that just because you grow old, it doesn't mean you must grow up.

It was Raph's call. It was his call to learn that it's okay if you don't show your love or your care in the typical way. It was his call to show the world he doesn't damage everything he touches. That he has a heart.

It was Rose's call. It was her call to learn that it's okay to be yourself, and that you don't ever need to be anybody else, especially for someone else.

It was Mom's call, to learn the power of her own strength, and to learn that forgiveness isn't easy, but that it's important.

It was Dad's call: to learn that your mistakes don't define you. And to learn that his family wouldn't abandon him.

It was Benj's call to give us hope; to make us remember what life is all about. And even though his call was cut short, it was okay. Because he was given another call: a call home.

 _Now we're back to the beginning_

 _It's just a feeling and no one knows yet._

 _But just because they can't feel it too_

 _Doesn't mean that you have to forget._

When winter comes, and a flower withers away, we don't pretend it never existed. We embrace it. We embrace its life, and all the times it bloomed, even through the rain. We come to realize eventually that it's the balance of the rain and the sun that actually helped it grow so big and beautiful.

One day, there was a seed. It was planted, and oh, how it grew. It grew tall and strong and magnificent. It was radiant. It grew through the rain and it grew through the heat. That flower knew its time was limited, but no one knew winter would come so soon. The flower was soon the past, and it withered away.

But it happened. And that flower has been scratched into the book of all history. Never forgotten. Never left behind.

 _Let your memories grow stronger and stronger_

 _'til they're before your eyes._

 _You'll come back when they call you._

 _No need to say goodbye._

Now it's time for another seed. And spoiler alert: it will die. But oh, how it will grow.

The sun is calling, and so is the rain. Let it. Don't try to stop it.

Let it be, and it will.

 _You'll come back when they call you._

 _No need to say goodbye._

 **A/N: I never, ever, ever would have expected this story to turn into anything more than just an idea in my head. Now I have something to say.**

 **I started this story seven years ago. Wow. Okay seven years ago is a LONG time ago. You may have noticed that I didn't start uploading it until the last few years. This is because it was never supposed to be more than just a fanfiction. It was an idea that I had as an early teenager - one that I was never going to let anyone read, let alone post online. Flash-forward seven years later, and I'm finishing posting the final book. It's crazy what can happen in that time.**

 **I actually finished the story in 2017, so a couple years ago, and that's when I began to post it online. I was planning on just posting it as it was, but I found many things I wanted to edit and change, and have definitely done so. In fact, there's STILL a lot of stuff I need to edit and change. But it's just cool that even though I knew how the story would end, I still felt like I was there on the journey all over again while posting these.**

 **This was just a silly fanfiction that a young years ago I first got the idea, when I read a TMNT fanfiction that had something to do with the FBI. That is what sparked the idea for this story. When I started it, I didn't expect it to actually go far. No other fanfiction I had ever written had ever gone past like the 200 page point.**

 **This story started as just a TMNT fanfiction but it turned into more than that. I created my own characters. They developed, enough that I was able to end the story without the turtles even physically being in the last chapter. Because it's so much more than a TMNT fanfiction.**

 **It became a story of forgiveness and a story of love. But not just romance, which was what I originally aimed for. It was a story of family love and friendship. It was a story of losing someone close to you but that learning that they're never really gone. It's a story of working together and a story of recognizing it's okay to want to be alone sometimes.**

 **It has so many components and so many lessons. But then again, so does life.**

 **It's the very first story I've ever finished. And I'm so glad I brought myself to finish it.**

 **The theme song of this story is "The Call" by Regina Spektor. Currently the story is titled "We Light up the Dark". I'm going to change it to "The Call". Because that song, I've realized encompasses not just the story, but it encompasses my journey in writing this story. Throughout this last chapter, I sprinkled lyrics of the song (in italics). I recommend listening to the song while reading this. It's a really beautiful song and expresses exactly how I feel about this book.**

 **I want to say more, but I don't know what else to say. This has been such an incredible adventure for me. I didn't want it to end. I didn't want it to end so badly, but everything ends. Everything dies, but it doesn't mean that you have to forget that it existed. It continues. And you know what? It makes a chance for a new adventure.**

 **This has been one of my favorite adventures—and believe me, I've had a lot of adventures. But I'll never forget the nights stayed up, the tears cried, and the happiness created through writing this story.**

 **I'll read it over and over again, and make edits still. I'll probably take things out and add things.**

 **But it's finished. And honestly, that's one of the bravest things to do: put an end on something that you have control over. Putting an end on something you never want to end.**

 **But even if you do end it, it doesn't really end. That's what I've come to accept.**

 **"You'll come back when they call you; no need to say goodbye."**

 **Thank you for being my escape. Thank you for being my adventure. I'm going to start a new adventure, but I'll never forget this one. Never forgotten. Never left behind.**


End file.
